It is always hard to move away from the wall. I had promised myself that if I go to the convention today, I will need to make some friends. That seemed so much easier in my head. In practice, I'm paranoid, I can only sit here and hope someone mercifully comes up to talk to me. I love to cosplay! The creations with sewing and painting, the prop making, the planning, everything about it is so much fun! I love to embody the characters I look up to, and literally be the "literally me" ones as well. I love to show off my creations, but my family and friends don't have the same passion that I do. So I go to conventions to try and find people with my same interests! But that's the scary part. The literal wall of emotions, stopping me in my tracks. What if my cosplay isn't good enough? What if I look weird? What if I say the wrong things? What if I look like a poser? Those thoughts are just a few of the many that locks me away into my fear. How do I overcome that? How did I get up and make the friends I was so scared to talk to? I still need to work on that. My main strategy is to find their Instagram or Tik-tok and show them support and positivity, hoping I can run into them next con! That works pretty well as a start for me, but unless they are near someone I already know, chances are slim that I will even have enough confidence to compliment them. Why am I even going to college? The reason I want to go, is so I can become a teacher. I really feel inspired by how my teachers motivated others to go and be who they are! I love uplifting others and making sure everyone is positive. If you cant fix your situation, at least try changing your mindset! I love helping others grasp that concept because there is so much that we can do, if we really put our minds to it! Another reason for me to attend college is to take fashion and sewing classes. Sure, I may know how to do the basics, but a collegiate level of sewing will give me so much more confidence to display my work. In theory, at least. If I can improve the techniques used in my sewing, maybe my anxiety will pipe down and let my confidence step up. How can I feel my cosplay is not good enough, when I professionally made it? I know anxiety is something I will deal with the rest of my life, but I also know that I can find ways to give confidence a bigger presence in my mind. How can I take those skills and apply them to college? With cosplay, especially in public, it is terrifying for the most confident people I know. You are breaking social normals by just the way you dress! Everyone looks at you when you sit down. You are the target of side conversation. It is actually terrible. But why should I care? i won't see these people again! I am there to do what I wanted, not what they want! I strive to add this to my college persona and tell myself it is fine to study alone. It is fine to talk to others, even if they might hate me. It is ok to smile and keep my head up. At the end of the day, I live for me, not anyone else.

"Pop!" I looked, down. My kneecap was not where it was supposed to be. In fact, it was on the side of my knee, leaving a gap where it should have been. It was gross, I was scared, the room went silent. Did the coaches son just get hurt? My senior year of highschool was coming to an end. The state tournament had just happened, and graduation was coming up. I felt pretty good about how I did at state, but I was so excited for Freestyle state. I like the throws, the big moves, the constant action, and that there wasn't time to stall, but that excitement waned away as I looked down to see my kneecap was dislocated. The hardest thing in life is to see something you have worked and focused so hard for, be a moments grasp away, and then nothing. You can't chase after it, the opportunity is gone. You became nothing but a bystander. I wanted nothing more than to wrestle. I had never had any major injuries, so this concept of "sit-out and watch" was so foreign to me. I can walk (barely), shouldn't I be able to get into a stance? Shouldn't I be able to run, to move, to wrestle? Mentally I could, physically, the brace wouldn't let me move. I was lucky, the doctor told me that I hadn't fully torn the tendon that was supposed to keep my knee cap in place, and I should have a speedy recovery. Why didn't I feel lucky? Why did I feel like everything was falling apart? Why did I feel like everything I used to do was no longer an option. I wanted to wrestle in college, do the tournaments in the summer! I couldn't. I started my physical therapy. I did it everyday, not because I wanted to, but because that was all I could do. I would work all by myself, watching everyone else wrestle, hoping and praying I would be well enough for state. That was my only goal. I couldn't move with my right leg lead anymore because I couldn't bend it. I became left leg lead. I had to relearn my entire stance. My motion was gone, my feet felt heavy, but if I could do it right leg lead, I could do it left. My left leg became better. My knee took to long to heal. I missed state. I couldn't do the summer tournaments. But I didn't feel sad. Sure a first place state medal would have looked cool, but I was to busy learning how to wrestle injured. I learned to shoot, to sprawl, to run, all with my knee healing. My knee was good enough. Nothing is ever 100 percent, but I learned mentally I am stronger. I became a left leg lead wrestler. I became better. I learned not to focus on what you no longer can do, but what goals you should make based on what you can.

Taylor Swift is a very talented musician whose music is both catchy and relatable. Many of my friends love her songs and it makes me so happy to see how her music positively affects their lives! One of my best friends recently went through a difficult breakup with her abusive ex. He had caused her a lot of pain, but she still wanted to get back together with him. This worried me greatly, as she was not the same person I had known before. She was always sad and depressed, and nothing seemed to cheer her up. We spent a lot of time hanging out together, walking around Target, getting Starbucks, and doing other fun activities, but she was still obsessed with her ex. She was starting to lose her confidence and her usual happy attitude, and it was painful to see. She deserved so much more, and I wished she could understand that. Then Taylor Swift announced her Eras Tour, and I was thrilled! My bestie was a huge fan of Taylor Swift's music and always wanted to see her live. She said that Taylor Swift's music was her source of strength and comfort during difficult times. She felt a strong connection to her and often found herself really relating to Tay's lyrics. She said that Taylor Swift was her biggest role model, and that she really admired her resilience and talent. I was so so so happy to see her happy again, and was glad that her mom was able to get her tickets! At that point I really realized the incredible power that Taylor Swift's positive music can have on someone's life. Her music had given my bestie a new viewpoint on her life, and it had made an unforgettable impact on her. She was happier than ever before, and she was radiant. She even met a new person who treated her right, and they started a new chapter of her life. She thanked me for being there for her and said that the concert was one of the best nights of her life. She said that she owed her fresh start to Taylor Swift's amazing music, and she felt empowered and inspired. She said that she loved Taylor Swift and that she loved me too. And from that moment on, I knew the importance of positive music in our lives and how impactful it can be!

If I could only watch one movie until I died, I would choose to watch the amazing 2002 movie, 8 Mile. This movie is a drama and lifestory based on the rapper Eminem attempting to balance his own life and striving to accomplish his goals. For me, there are just so many reason I could watch this movie over and over again. First of all, I love and am so jealous of both Eminem's lyrical talents and his nonstop perseverance! Those skills have crowned him as one of the most successful and influential artists of this generation, along side Kanye West and Elton John. He's achieved that title, through nonstop hard-work and dedication. Never giving up, and never backing down whilst he faced challenges like, being extremely broke, a recent breakup, the threat of eviction, struggling to keep jobs, and family issues. But he never gave up on his dream. He found that he could express himself through his music, using his stress and anxiousness as fuel to overcome his fears of failure. Secondly, I love the soundtrack. Both the music as well as the tone and message of the lyrics in the movie have impactful messages that allow for listening outside of the movie. The songs hype-up, really catchy, and have a feeling of power and importance to them. They display the connotations of the messages in the movie, as well as flaunt the culture and the history of hip hop and rap. The lyrics are clever, witty, and unique. They tell stories, lighten moods, and disrupt stereotypes. They help inspire me to be myself and to follow my passions. Thirdly, I really feel that I relate to the characters, and their messages, in the movie. The movie conveys the reality of life in the inner city, of feeling stuck, of struggling to survive, and of stumbling to find your own identity. The movie highlights the topics of friendship, loyalty, love, and having a reason of why you do something. I feel just like with the protagonist, Jimmy, who is trying to balance his personal and professional life, and who is looking for a way out of his situation. I am also trying to balance life with work, college, and making music. I envy his friends, who support him and push him to focus on his dreams. I also relate and understand all the conflicts with his enemies, who want nothing but to bring him down and sabotage his success. I love this movie because I feel like I live this movie. To conclude, I wouldn't even have to question if 8 Mile should be the movie for me to would watch for the rest of my life. I relate to it to much, I am inspired by it to much, 8 Mile feels like an alternate perspective of my life. It may just be a movie on Eminem's backstory to his music. But to me it is a movie that is my situations, and my life. It is a movie that I can watch over and over again, because I deeply relate to it. It is a movie that I really really love!