I seemed to have no solid direction. I had just transferred to a school, started a new major, gotten through my depression, and I had just begun to like my classes and then the transition hit us. I did not think I could handle the ability to maneuver courses online and I thought my life at home would become more miserable but I ended up finding my way. I lost many friends during the political tensions of 2020. However, I learned how to make friends without the forceful proximity of educational institutions. I've made much more friends online than I ever knew was possible for me. I became so much more open minded and focused on my future. The time, effort, and money I spent getting ready every morning and traveling back and forth, in NYC, was redeemed to me, to apply it to other things. Due to the pandemic, school and church were closed, in a sense, and I got time to finally not be busy. Looking back, I honestly don't know how my mind didn't break under the constant weight of responsibilities. Being constantly told what I should want, and what kind of person I should be, and struggling to even take care of myself physically is substantially draining. All that plus the nightmare of our reality as a country was just so jarring. Since everywhere was closed, even the parks, my room became my sanctuary. I even decided to take liberty in deep cleaning and painting my room for the first time. My room is where I began to pick up my interests again. I finished so many shows I never got to complete and I got to create projects I normally wouldn't have the time to. I also got to finally connect deeply with my friends Although there was heartbreak and disaster surrounding us, Pandemic's Box became a time of reflection, redemption, and healing for me. I finally organized a plan for my life, now that I have reclaimed it. I finally am excited to go to therapy. I want to start exercising again with my trainer. I truly desire to be a light to others again. I really want to maintain my new friendships. I am yearning to find myself and see who I can become. I am learning my boundaries, new ways to love, and how to thrive independently.

Inequity of any kind is unacceptable and quite frankly diabolical when it comes to the education system. It is exhausting to fight on our own to reach levels where other people have had a head start in. All students should receive the resources we individually require. In what right mindset should someone distribute a certain amount of resources to succeed and to another they give the same amount even though that is not what they require? As a matter of fact how can a non-biased entity give more to one institution and to another not as much? Everyone did not start at the same starting line. There are so many disadvantages placed before minorities, equality simply is not substantial. It is not right to help first class, able bodied, cis/het men to a place where they are comfortable starting their careers and not do the same for others. That mindset is insidious and it is counter-progressive. Although there is intersectionality, the elitism and classism structures are most prevalent in today's school system. Poverty stricken homes can not succeed unless they know they are able to. Who will tell these households that they can, what they need, and how to approach their individual successes? People cannot do if they are not in the know. How can an educator say with their heart they want to help the students but then not actually help them when placed in a position of assistance? Action coupled with compassion is needed.

I have had quite the journey with accepting myself. I did not exactly receive love from my parents, seeing as they were very neglectful and manipulative. I always felt less than no matter how many accomplishments I garnered. I had a journey with colorism that I had to face on my own and educate myself on. It got to the point where I would not want to go outside during the summer because I did not want to get darker. I saw the privilege in being lighter and the opportunities that came with it. All the light skin guys got to be in relationships and had better luck with teachers. All the lighter skin people on tv were successful and more palatable than the darker, often sassy, and unappealing side character. This is what I consumed as a child and digested it into my psyche. Looking back on elementary school I even bullied other dark skin kids, as they did the same, without really knowing what we were doing. If I have any regrets that is for sure one of them. I understand the trauma behind not loving your skin. I eventually grew and learned and adapted to a more educated state of mind. I still consumed a lot of colorism in the media, especially during the era of the social app, Vine. As I continue to grow I look back each time and wonder how I ever was in that place. However, that was not my only journey I had to battle alone. Living with verbally abusive parents, who were neglectful, narcissistic, and manipulative eventually takes a toll on you. In 2013, I fell into a deep depression that lasted 5 years. I could not get out of it and I felt like I could not tell a soul. I was still very much myself, but I could not find love. I developed abandonment issues that I still have today. I made several attempts on my life, that no one knew about. All the while still maintaining high grades, being a contributing member of society, participating at church, and being a strong support system. I was strong for everyone but myself. I was in denial for most of that period, telling myself that I was not depressed. No matter what, I believe God kept me alive for a purpose. God kept telling me to tell someone, but the truth was the burden and the stigma, especially in black churches, with depression was too much for me to bear. I kept telling myself it was just me and God against the world. I even tried to compromise with God and ask him to tell someone for me and I would talk with them. I could not tell anyone the extent and weight of my story. No one even believed the smaller stories I would say about what I deal with according to my parents, or walk with God, or different struggles, so how would they believe my depression. I went to conference after conference, prayer meeting after prayer meeting but there was no hope. In 2018, I went to an event where someone ministered and it gave me courage and strength. God provided the perfect person for me to tell. Someone new who had no expectations or knew my reputation and someone I felt comfortable opening up to. The night I told my sister in christ about it, I was instantly delivered. I still deal with a lot of trauma and bullying in my home, but I can survive and know that I can cope better and know I have a future. Before 2018, I never could see a future where I even graduated because I thought I would die before then. I found love and self validation in my own self and in God's love. I feel unconditional love even if its not from those who you would expect it from. As I grow, I love myself and others more.

I have had quite the journey with accepting myself. I did not exactly receive love from my parents, seeing as they were very neglectful and manipulative. I always felt less than no matter how many accomplishments I garnered. I had a journey with colorism that I had to face on my own and educate myself on. It got to the point where I would not want to go outside during the summer because I did not want to get darker. I saw the privilege in being lighter and the opportunities that came with it. All the light skin guys got to be in relationships and had better luck with teachers. All the lighter skin people on tv were successful and more palatable than the darker, often sassy, and unappealing side character. This is what I consumed as a child and digested it into my psyche. Looking back on elementary school I even bullied other dark skin kids, as they did the same, without really knowing what we were doing. If I have any regrets that is for sure one of them. I understand the trauma behind not loving your skin. I eventually grew and learned and adapted to a more educated state of mind. I still consumed a lot of colorism in the media, especially during the era of the social app, Vine. As I continue to grow I look back each time and wonder how I ever was in that place. However, that was not my only journey I had to battle alone. Living with verbally abusive parents, who were neglectful, narcissistic, and manipulative eventually takes a toll on you. In 2013, I fell into a deep depression that lasted 5 years. I could not get out of it and I felt like I could not tell a soul. I was still very much myself but I could not find love. I developed abandonment issues that I still have today. I made several attempts on my life, that no one knew about. All the while still maintaining high grades, being a contributing member of society, participating at church, and being a strong support system. I was strong for everyone but myself. I was in denial for most of that period, telling myself that I was not depressed. No matter what, I believe God kept me alive for a purpose. In 2018 I finally got the opportunity to tell someone and I have been better mentally ever since. I still deal with a lot of trauma and bullying in my home, but I can survive and know that I can cope better and know i have a future. Before 2018, I never could see a future where I even graduated because I thought I would die before then. I found love and self validation in my own self and in God's love. I feel unconditional love even if its not from those who you would expect it from. As i grow, I love myself and others more.

My father used to be an artist, however, due to being an immigrant he had to be practical financially to support his, at the time, pregnant wife. He gave it all up to be a land surveyor and never got to return to his passions. I want to be different and use every opportunity and sacrifice made for me to make it in this society as a successful graphic designer. I am passionate about design and the arts not because of my father, but because of this thing within me that desires to create. I have always been creative and have spent my life trying to find a medium that would best suit me. I have searched in the performative arts and the traditional as well, but I found a home in the digital realm. I find so much inspiration around my life, from conversations to even pre-existing designs. I have many people who unintentionally added to my creative spark and am forever in debt to them. They affirmed my love for creation and nurtured that passion. I hope that one day if it has not already happened, that I inspire someone just the same. I am a freelance graphic designer based in New York City who makes designs for small businesses. My main goal is to open a studio of designers that would make affordable quality designs for small businesses. I like to transform things and make something that not only is beautiful, but would help others. Being a designer means being a problem solver. Good design should be clear in its communication, purposeful in its choices, and strong in its intent. I am a community-minded person and am very involved with volunteer and mentorship programs such as New York Cares, Project Excel, Equity Through Design Mentorship, Reach Out America, and Feed the Children. I grew up valuing Christian beliefs, volunteering my entire life at my home church, Faith Apostolic Tabernacle UPCI. I lend a hand wherever I can even if its not design related. I have always wanted to help small businesses look better and present themselves to consumers better. I do these things because I value collectivism and that success is in the group effort and support system around an individual. My current next step is to be productive in an internship and spread my impact as a contribution to the design world. I have many goals for the future like living in a home sustainably and financially supporting me and my family. My main focus besides my personal goals are my career goals. So far I have been freelancing which helps me afford my materials, but this scholarship will really help my push towards the completion of my degree. I can use it for my tuition and reducing my student debt. I can say that no investment toward my education has been wasted. I am currently set to graduate after only being in college for 3 years and I already have a diploma from the other college I graduated from. I have faced many challenges in my education as a minority but no matter the harsh reality, I persisted to take control of my narrative and create a better future if not for myself then for those to come after me just like my father did.

My father used to be an artist, however, due to being an immigrant he had to be practical financially to support his, at the time, pregnant wife. He gave it all up to be a land surveyor and never got to return to his passions. I want to be different and use every opportunity and sacrifice made for me to make it in this society as a successful graphic designer. I am passionate about design and the arts not because of my father, but because of this thing within me that desires to create. I have always been creative and have spent my life trying to find a medium that would best suit me. I have searched in the performative arts and the traditional as well, but I found a home in the digital realm. I find so much inspiration around my life, from conversations to even pre-existing designs. I have many people who unintentionally added to my creative spark and am forever in debt to them. They affirmed my love for creation and nurtured that passion. I hope that one day if it has not already happened, that I inspire someone just the same. I am a freelance graphic designer based in New York City who makes designs for small businesses. My main goal is to open a studio of designers that would make affordable quality designs for small businesses. I like to transform things and make something that not only is beautiful, but would help others. Being a designer means being a problem solver. Good design should be clear in its communication, purposeful in its choices, and strong in its intent. I am a community-minded person and am very involved with volunteer and mentorship programs such as New York Cares, Project Excel, Equity Through Design Mentorship, Reach Out America, and Feed the Children. I grew up valuing Christian beliefs, volunteering my entire life at my home church, Faith Apostolic Tabernacle UPCI. I lend a hand wherever I can even if its not design related. I have always wanted to help small businesses look better and present themselves to consumers better. I do these things because I value collectivism and that success is in the group effort and support system around an individual. My current next step is to be productive in an internship and spread my impact as a contribution to the design world. So far I have been freelancing which helps me afford my materials, but this scholarship will really help my push towards the completion of my degree. I can use it for my tuition and reducing my student debt. I can say that no investment toward my education has been wasted. I am currently set to graduate after only being in college for 3 years and I already have a diploma from the other college I graduated from. I have faced many challenges in my education as a minority but no matter the harsh reality, I persisted to take control of my narrative and create a better future if not for myself then for those to come after me just like my father did.

My father used to be an artist, however, due to being an immigrant he had to be practical financially to support his, at the time, pregnant wife. He gave it all up to be a land surveyor and never got to return to his passions. I want to be different and use every opportunity and sacrifice made for me to make it in this society as a successful graphic designer. I am passionate about design and the arts not because of my father, but because of this thing within me that desires to create. I have always been creative and have spent my life trying to find a medium that would best suit me. I have searched in the performative arts and the traditional as well, but I found a home in the digital realm. I find so much inspiration around my life, from conversations to even pre-existing designs. I have many people who unintentionally added to my creative spark and am forever in debt to them. They affirmed my love for creation and nurtured that passion. I hope that one day if it has not already happened, that I inspire someone just the same. I am a freelance graphic designer based in New York City who makes designs for small businesses. My main goal is to open a studio of designers that would make affordable quality designs for small businesses. I like to transform things and make something that not only is beautiful, but would help others. Being a designer means being a problem solver. Good design should be clear in its communication, purposeful in its choices, and strong in its intent. I am a community-minded person and am very involved with volunteer and mentorship programs such as New York Cares, Project Excel, Equity Through Design Mentorship, Reach Out America, and Feed the Children. I grew up valuing Christian beliefs, volunteering my entire life at my home church, Faith Apostolic Tabernacle UPCI. I lend a hand wherever I can even if its not design related. I have always wanted to help small businesses look better and present themselves to consumers better. I do these things because I value collectivism and that success is in the group effort and support system around an individual. My current next step is to be productive in an internship and spread my impact as a contribution to the design world. So far I have been freelancing which helps me afford my materials, but this scholarship will really help my push towards the completion of my degree. I can use it for my tuition and reducing my student debt. I can say that no investment toward my education has been wasted. I am currently set to graduate after only being in college for 3 years and I already have a diploma from the other college I graduated from. I have faced many challenges in my education as a minority but no matter the harsh reality, I persisted to take control of my narrative and create a better future if not for myself then for those to come after me just like my father did.

My father used to be an artist, however, due to being an immigrant he had to be practical financially to support his, at the time, pregnant wife. He gave it all up to be a land surveyor and never got to return to his passions. I want to be different and use every opportunity and sacrifice made for me to make it in this society as a successful graphic designer. I am passionate about design and the arts not because of my father, but because of this thing within me that desires to create. I have always been creative and have spent my life trying to find a medium that would best suit me. I have searched in the performative arts and the traditional as well, but I found a home in the digital realm. I find so much inspiration around my life, from conversations to even pre-existing designs. I have many people who unintentionally added to my creative spark and am forever in debt to them. They affirmed my love for creation and nurtured that passion. I hope that one day if it has not already happened, that I inspire someone just the same. I am a freelance graphic designer based in New York City who makes designs for small businesses. My main goal is to open a studio of designers that would make affordable quality designs for small businesses. I like to transform things and make something that not only is beautiful, but would help others. Being a designer means being a problem solver. Good design should be clear in its communication, purposeful in its choices, and strong in its intent. I am a community-minded person and am very involved with volunteer and mentorship programs such as New York Cares, Project Excel, Equity Through Design Mentorship, Reach Out America, and Feed the Children. I grew up valuing Christian beliefs, volunteering my entire life at my home church, Faith Apostolic Tabernacle UPCI. I lend a hand wherever I can even if its not design related. I have always wanted to help small businesses look better and present themselves to consumers better. I do these things because I value collectivism and that success is in the group effort and support system around an individual. My current next step is to be productive in an internship and spread my impact as a contribution to the design world. So far I have been freelancing which helps me afford my materials, but this scholarship will really help my push towards the completion of my degree. I can use it for my tuition and reducing my student debt. I can say that no investment toward my education has been wasted. I am currently set to graduate after only being in college for 3 years and I already have a diploma from the other college I graduated from. I have faced many challenges in my education as a minority but no matter the harsh reality, I persisted to take control of my narrative and create a better future if not for myself then for those to come after me just like my father did.

My father used to be an artist, however, due to being an immigrant he had to be practical financially to support his, at the time, pregnant wife. He gave it all up to be a land surveyor and never got to return to his passions. I want to be different and use every opportunity and sacrifice made for me to make it in this society as a successful graphic designer. I am passionate about design and the arts not because of my father, but because of this thing within me that desires to create. I have always been creative and have spent my life trying to find a medium that would best suit me. I have searched in the performative arts and the traditional as well, but I found a home in the digital realm. I find so much inspiration around my life, from conversations to even pre-existing designs. I like to transform things and make something that not only is beautiful, but would helps others. Being a designer means being a problem solver. I have always wanted to help small businesses look better and present themselves to consumers better. So far I have been freelancing which helps me afford my materials, but this scholarship will really help my push towards the completion of my degree. I can use it for my tuition and reducing my student debt. I have faced many challenges in my education as a minority but no matter the harsh reality, I persisted to take control of my narrative and create a better future if not for myself then for those to come after me just like my father did.