I had a deep fear of animals and hadn't pet my first dog until I was 7, had a long fear of the dark until my early 10's, and was even afraid of bad weather for longer than I'd like to admit. I can't explain the absolute fear I felt whenever it started to rain a too hard or even stormed outside; it was brutal. I think it was the wide movements of the trees, the loud noises raising from the sky, and the disturbing realization a tornado might come by my house and destroy everything I knew that struck fear into me. Luckily enough, that fear disappeared when I learned how the weather works in school. We were taught that although bad weather exists, we still have a way to be safe. I learned about doppler radars, how meteorologists can predict the weather, and how tornados and hurricanes form, and little by little, day by day--I wasn't too afraid anymore. Now that I look back and see the fears I had, I wonder if others can learn to be less fearful the same way I did: through education. I remember reading an article that stated "Humans are born to be afraid of two things: falling and loud sounds." I think this statement alone puts into perspective how education can help people feel less fearful about things they don't understand. Maybe someone who has a fear of bugs can learn how they behave. Maybe someone who has a fear of the dark could learn that the dark is just something you can't see. Maybe someone who has a fear of other races or ethnicities can learn that although we are all different, we still have similarities. Maybe education is the key to help unite people in our lives towards love and understanding--instead of fear. Education is not only what inspired me to achieve my dreams, strive to have an open-mind, and seek new perspectives, but also what helped me learn to not be so afraid of the things I don't understand. I believe that education is far beyond the harsh memorization of dull and bleak topics, but instead what humans naturally crave. Humans want to learn-- we just need to allow them to.

I used to be a perfectionist. At times, I used to look at my own hands and struggle to realize that these were the things that did everything for me. I could move objects with ease, I could press buttons, I could brush my hair and teeth--but I still couldn't believe that something as simple and small as these hands did everything for myself. Now when I look at my hands, I can see so much more. I can see the heavier things I've carried, the things I've achieved and succeeded, and most of all... I can see the future that these hands can create for myself. I plan on becoming a Finance major and I've chosen this major because I find myself loving the analytical. Ordering money, taking inventory, and even small things such as organizing and repetitive tasks bring me so much joy--despite my past as a perfectionist. I want to prove to myself that I am able to love and adore my goals without picking apart every little detail, and this scholarship will help me more than you can believe. Thank you for giving people like me this opportunity and I hope whoever reads this has an amazing day.

My perspective of the term "role model" is a little different compared to the expected definition. I believe that everyone in some shape or form can be a role model, and not exactly for the reasons you may think. Everyone tends to think immediate positivity when the term "role model" is presented. One may think a role model as courageous, confident, self-motivated, and overall positive, but what people tend to overlook is that negative role models exist as well. They're exactly what positive role models are, just vice versa. Personally, my negative role model is my dad. Whenever I was younger, he was very impatient and prideful in everything he did and believed. He thought of himself as a "genius" and a "teacher" which gave me this horrible feeling in my mouth whenever those words were mentioned. Teachers as we all know should not be impatient and prideful. Instead, they should be caring, dedicated, and open minded--something my father wasn't. Luckily in my case I saw the difference between these two ideas and I aimed to become the latter. I aimed to be a positive output for people, and when I become the drum major in our high school's marching band, I was put to the test. As drum major, my job was to help lead the band through competitions, performances, and also help teach them their music and how to march. It was incredibly difficult at times to be patient, but I kept in mind that my father didn't have the patience with me when he "taught" me, so I'll have the patience with the band. I'm proud to say that for many in the band that marching band season, I was seen as a positive person that helped the band and its individuals to the best of my ability. Negative role models don't always need to have a negative ideal that followed. One could transform that negative ideal into something much greater. Back to the idea that "everyone can be a role model," I also believe that the smallest experiences with people can leave an impact as well. May it be someone who gave you a kind gesture or went out of their way to be positive, they all may be role models. Personally, I remember one day as I was taking a walk I accidentally walked in front of a car trying to leave their neighborhood. I instantly expected the worst and thought I was going to be cursed out, but the kind woman in the car simply told me with a smile "Hey, be careful next time! I could've hit you!" It's a well deserved sentence I received, but what was important about this interaction is how she created those words. She could've instantly snapped and told me "Hey! Get out of my way!" out of pure anger, but she decided to take the positive route and kept my safety in concern. I still think about her to this day, and whenever I feel the urge to snap on someone's mistakes, I remember that lady who was kind to me when I had made a mistake myself. All in all, everyone in some way is a role model--may it be someone who is incredibly positive or negative, big or small--everyone has an impact in their own way and we should all live as such.

First semester Junior year was one of the most difficult times of my life. July 2019, I became our marching band's drum major and took on the responsibility of conducting and leading our school's 50 person band for the next months. During band camp, I got to see many new faces, made many friends, and also had found I had loved conducting! Although the first few weeks I had with the band were joyous, I found that the responsibility of not only leading the band difficult, but also taking on rolls as a leader, teacher, guide, and friend during this time strenuous as well. The responsibility I took on was taken up a notch as the beginning of school arrived. I had started my Dual Enrollment classes and faced many challenges with the courses. The infamous work-load, dealing with fatigue due to rehearsals from marching band, and the overconsuming dread of feeling I had made a mistake all took a toll on me. However, I did not want to quit. I thought to myself "I took on the responsibility, and I will stick with it," so I did. September 2019 was the by far the hardest month out of this time line. It's comedic honestly how much I had lost and was broken at this time, from losing my best friends I had established strong bonds with since middle school to losing my two dogs that consoled me through trying times, while also tieing in the domestic stress I was under with my parent's divorce? It was incredible how I survived mentally. If I had to describe the feeling I felt at the time, I'd say a mixture of dread, apathy, yet hopeful. It was a very difficult time, yes, but I had found hope that one day, this will all be worth it. I continued to do my best, even if I was binded by sheer pain and sorrow. I could've just called it quits and shut it all down, but I didn't. October 2019 was a two-faced month, as competition season arrived for marching band, and midterms for all five core classes I attended inched closer and closer. Our first competition was especially difficult, as I had just lost my beloved dogs a week prior and that I was to conduct in front of judges for the first time ever. After we performed for the judges and I was sitting on this field where we can watch other bands perform, I cried. I had finally broken because the last few months had been so streneous and I was both physically and mentally fatigued. I was gladly comforted thankfully, and I was reminded that I was a leader to the band. They saw my days in and days out and had seen how much I tried, no matter how hard it was and they confessed they saw my determination and found band to be more fun with me around. This is where I had realized I not only had an impact on my life, but others too. I was extremely grateful I was able to influence people, so I continued with the season in stride winning many more trophies in the following competitions. Our last competition rolled by and it was a gleeful yet gut-wrenchingly nostalgic night. We performed our last show, took home our rewards, and it was done. By this time, my classes have just started to talk about finals and I had finally felt some relief knowing I had time! We played our show one last time, and by November 2019, the season was over. It was blissful that it was finished to be honest, but I did miss the hard work our band had put together that season. November and December were cold (literally) and rested, like the rainbow after a storm. I had finished off my dual enrollment classes with straight A's and was proud of all the trophies our band had won that season, as well as myself. Now... what did I learn? I have learned that I can go through my own personal hell and back and survive. I learned that I have the motivation and determination in me to rise above circumstances and always try when times get tough. Finally, I have a new perspective on myself. I saw myself as someone who wouldn't amount to anything and found myself self-loathing for weeks on end, but now I know that I have worth and I have what it takes to take on anything in my path no matter the difficulties. Just like how Junior year me was, I will strive once again when the circumstances I face try to pull me down and I am safe assured that I will always try my best. \ Thank you for giving me this opportunity to tell my story, take care! :)

I'm thankful that I had almost failed my 6th-grade year. At the time, I had joined band and started playing the flute which I had grown to love with a passion. Whenever I had time between classes or at home I always practiced and performed whenever I could, but unfortunately my grades had plummeted. It was the first year of my life I had almost failed a grade and had to get held back, all because I spent the time practicing instead of finishing the work that had to be done. I admit I was naive and immature, but the reason why I'm grateful that I had almost failed is because I wouldn't have realized the potential I had inside myself. Up until that point in my life, I had nothing specific or special to say about myself. In elementary school, I had great grades and had even joined the Gifted Program as I was seen as creative, diligent, and hard-working, but at what cost? I liked art to an extent and dappled in creative writing, but at the end of the day I still didn't have anything I was truly passionate about, but when I found music, I had realized what I wanted to do for a long time. I'm a senior in high school now and I still play the flute! It's been almost seven years now, and I'm incredibly grateful I took the time to get to know myself through music. Although I focus a bit more on my classes now, I now know that I'll always have music in my life whether it be a career or a mere hobby because it's simply what I love! If I could go back and tell 6th grade me one thing, it would be "I know everyone's against you, but please keep on trying. At the end of the day, grades are important, but so is your happiness, and if band is something that makes you happy? So be it. Never forget who you are and what you love, and don't like anybody get in the way of that. Just make sure you do your homework while too."