High school has been a time of extraordinary growth, academically and mentally. I would have never anticipated this time to change me in this many ways. Without these experiences, I would not be the student or the person I am today. I hate to say I have overcome a lot because I know others have had a more difficult time than I have, but I have overcome a lot. In 2020, I lost two older cousins. One passed due to unknown reasons. My other cousin died in a car collision. I looked up to these young men as brothers my whole life. They represented what it meant to be successful in college. With them gone, I felt lost and confused about the future. Everything seemed hopeless because I was grieving. I believed I needed to hide this pain from my family because I did not want to appear weak, but my mom was doing the same thing. My mom helped raise my cousins from a young age because their parents were not very involved. My mom considered them her first children, but now they were gone. She fell into a deep depression but did not receive help because she did not want our family to think she was weak. Plus, no one in our family understood mental health, so we all believed the negative stigmas about it. It was not until 2022 that my mother and I became vocal about our struggles. We were still grieving and needed help. She sought therapy while I looked for outlets to express my emotions. I grew my love of music by diving into piano lessons and songs, which became therapeutic. Both the outlets and therapy benefitted us in unimaginable ways. We are doing much better now, but we both struggle with depressive periods and anxiety. Even though we still wrestle with our mental health, we know that we have each other to rely on. This time of pain and learning that my mom was deep in her depression has pushed me to pursue a career in mental health. I want to help people in their hardships because not everyone can do it alone. Talking to a person about your mental health, so I want to be someone people can come to. One of my great goals is to help reverse the negative stigma of mental health, but I can see our society has already begun to do that. I believe I can still help in their field. I push for this goal but also strive for better mental health daily. Plus, I have learned to put my mind first and have become more in tune with my emotions and thought processes.

Mental health is something I have had to learn a lot about during my high school career. I have dealt with it firsthand, but I also watched my mother struggle with no end in sight. These experiences have shaped me into the person I am today, along with the relationships around me, my beliefs, and my career goals. In 2020, I lost multiple family members due to car collisions and another due to unknown reasons. Being forced to quarantine through two funerals and many memorials took a tremendous toll on my mental health and my mother's. She helped raise my cousins. Now that they were gone, she began to struggle with depression. She did not realize how intense her depression was until I began to notice and vocalize it. She was in pain, but I knew she did not want to get help. I looked up to my cousins while they were alive, and I still do, but it is not the same without them. Without these role models in my life, I felt lost. I thought I would never escape the grip of grief, but I have proven myself wrong. I was able to overcome the pain. That struggle has morphed me into who I am. My mom and I have always been close, but this time brought us closer. We are now much more open about our struggles with mental health because we thought we had to hide it from each other before. I tell my mom all my feelings and thoughts now because I know she will not judge me or look down upon me. Everyone should have this type of environment. For a while, I thought mental disorders were something only weak people dealt with, but I have been proven wrong. People with these struggles are more capable than most people know. Our society likes to label these people and call them "weak" and "attention seekers." I want to enter the mental health field to help break these stigmas and create healthy environments for struggling people. Before these losses and new experiences with mental health, I dreamed of attending culinary school and becoming a world-renowned chef. Now, my dreams are much more different and not so self-centered. I want to be a mental health therapist and help people with grief, depression, addiction, and everything imaginable. Starting in the fall of 2023, I plan to earn my master's in psychology at Missouri State University. While pursuing my degree, I would love to intern at a counseling center, then work at one after graduation. I have not thought much past that point, but I have many years until then. I would love to open a center one day, but that will be far into the future. My mother and I's struggle with mental health has changed my goals from money to helping others. I no longer care if I "make it big" or "make the big buck." I want to help people with their pains and struggles, no matter the paycheck. People have told me I am crazy for wanting to help others regardless of the salary, but I always tell them, "People over profit."

Depression, anxiety, and a variety of other mental health issues are something I am all too familiar with. In 2020, during the peak of the Coronavirus Pandemic, I watched my mother suffer through isolation, which caused many mental health issues. But, we lost many young family members during this time, causing our pain to worsen. My cousin Jake was only 28 years old when he was killed in a car collision and my other cousin Kane was only 24 years old when he passed due to unknown causes. My parents considered them to be their oldest children because they played a crucial part in their upbringing. This was a time of great loneliness and I had to watch my mother struggle through pain worse than I could have imagined. I was hurting at this time as well. They were my role models of how to be the best possible me. They were strong in all their ways and I wanted to be just like them. Once they were gone, I felt so lost. Lost in grief, confusion, and the chaos of family and funerals. I knew this was not a healthy place to be, so I worked to get out of it even though it was hard. There were many long nights cry to my mom about this pain, but I needed real help. Ever since that time, I knew I wanted to help people with their struggles and pain. People should not have to suffer alone as my mother did. People should be able to have a person to lean on and someone to help them work through their emotions. That is the one thing my mom regrets: not getting help sooner. I wish more people did not feel like they must go through it alone otherwise they will appear weak. People should never feel weak due to their emotions or mental state. We should treat a mental illness like we treat a physical one: which help from an expert. My plan after high school is to attend Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri, study psychology, and earn a Masters in either clinical psychology or mental health counseling. Both of these paths will lead me to my ultimate goal: helping people. I have taken multiple of the required courses for my General Education classes and have even surpassed that to take courses specific to my degree. I hope to be on the fast track toward my degree to have more experience in the field. After college, I want to work in a counseling center to earn experience and I plan to open my practice in the long run. Therapists and counselors are a great need for our society and opening my practice would allow me to work with other like-minded people to help as many people as possible. I know this career plan will not be all sunshine and rainbows. There will be hurt that I encounter and help overcome. There will be trauma that will pain me deep down. I will encounter people who struggle with suicidal thoughts and behavior, but the pain I will feel and see will be worth it. I am willing to put myself in these tough situations if I get to help or save just one person. I have become familiar with loss too early in life, but I believe I can use my past experiences to help others succeed in their futures. I will not let the pain my mother felt and Jake and Kane's passing be in vain. I will use them to help others in ways I cannot imagine now.