‘When I grow up, I want to be a doctor,’ said me and every other child I went to school with at the age of 5. I can’t remember exactly when it was, probably after I’d caught a glimpse of a gore-filled episode of some medical TV show, but I did eventually grow out of what I now know was a phase. I have not fully grown up yet, but I want to be a forensic psychologist when I do. ‘What is that?’, five year old me would have asked. Forensic Psychology, to put it quite simply, is the merging of psychology and law; at least that’s how I describe it to anyone who asks. However, according to google, it’s the use of ‘clinical specialities’ in law and legal business. And according to the American Psychology Association, “The study of the effect of the law on people, and the effect people have on the law”. When I become a forensic psychologist, my job will be to psychologically assess criminals and other people who are a part of the criminal/legal world. I would be assessing, evaluating and studying within a forensic environment. The many opportunities for a forensics psychologist range from criminal profiler, to court evaluator, to competency evaluator, screening and selection of law enforcement and many more. I want to help people while simultaneously doing something that sparks my interest and allows me to further stretch my intellectual curiosity and capabilities. I want to be able to be more than a law enforcer and someone who leads people on a pathway to life behind bars, but rather someone who innovatively uses the study of the human brain to find out why individuals are the way that they are and how to stop them from fatally ruining others or themselves. Ultimately, when I grow up, I want to practice the same ideologies I would likely have as a doctor but significantly way more captivating. My path is merely beginning and constantly redirecting and rebuilding itself. As I make my way to success, I plan on participating in internships within law/law enforcement departments to further my knowledge on the legal side of forensics. In turn, I plan on searching for opportunities within the clinical and psychological side as well to further my experience on this alternative side of my future career. As a black woman who is also first generation, reaching my goal is not only to benefit myself but those around me as well. I’m studying for my sister, my brothers, my mum, my dad, my cousins, and aunties, my black community. I’m studying to show them that success is not bound to where you came from, how little you have. I’m studying to create paths that weren’t created for me and ultimately lighten the burden for whoever is to come after me. Hopefully when I am writing to you next I’ll have real life stories based on all the people I’ve helped rather than those I hope to help, and all the things I’ve achieved that finally grew and blossomed from dreams into reality.

TITLE : What the Hell am I Doing Here by Crybaby ps. my artist name was influenced by the immense amount of tears I cry at least once a week since I've been here. Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold Breathe - In the Heights Original Broadway Cast Rollercoaster - Bleachers Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer Fall In Love With You. - Montell Fish Thought It'd Be Easy - Emanuel

Honestly, if I had to choose an ultimate life path, I would become a songwriter and singer. However, growing up that never really was a possibility or an option. My parents have always been encouraging about pursuing extra curriculars and hobbies but I knew stating it was something I wanted to pursue in college was not an option. I however do hope to be able to merge both my professional goals of becoming a forensic psychologist as well as my musical dreams into one as I get older. Even if it means singing for my clients as I write up a court assessment.