"Oh, I'm so sick of myself I'd rather be, rather be (oh-oh) Anyone, anyone else Jealousy, jealousy.." - Jealousy, jealousy, Song by Olivia Rodrigo The lyrics resonated with me because during high school, I faced limitations due to being an undocumented student. I felt envious of my classmates who could do everything. Although it may sound dramatic, that's the honest truth. I yearned to shed my undocumented status and coveted the simple freedoms, like my peers working at Chick-fil-A or owning a car. These little things fueled my envy or bring down my self-esteem. I wished to wake up one day as a better, idealized version of myself, living the American dream. I would constantly beg and pray every day that something or someone could easily change my status. However, I knew it wasn't that simple, but I still yearned to be anyone who could achieve that dream. I desired a job, even if it was as modest as working at Chick-fil-A, or owning a car, even if it was an old Toyota. I just needed something to propel me towards my one dream: becoming a dentist, a goal I set for myself at the age of 11. Nevertheless, my jealousy served as a powerful motivating force. During my high school years, I transformed into an academic overachiever. Frustrated with my perceived limitations, I embarked on a journey to redefine myself. Although it wasn't exactly the manifestation of my American dream, I trusted the process and committed to enrolling in Pre-AP, AP, and honor classes while dedicating myself to rigorous studying in pursuit of exceptional grades. The fruits of my jealousy ultimately paid off, I became the first in my family to graduate and gained admission to San Antonio College (SAC), an institution that provides valuable support to undocumented students. My aspirations for the American dream remain unwavering. My achievements have profoundly shaped my mindset and aspirations, for which I am immensely thankful. Migrating to America as an undocumented immigrant from Mexico at nine years old was a formidable challenge. Suddenly, I found myself encircled by an invisible border, a constant reminder of the disadvantages and obstacles I faced compared to the other children. Despite being undocumented, I have embraced my identity as a student with an American dream, and I am determined to use all my abilities to realize it. After all, there's no such thing as dreaming too big, right?

The American dream is what every undocumented person wishes they had. Being able to have a job, owning a car, and best of all, not having to worry about being deported. Or at least, that's how I envision my American dream. When I was a child, my mother took me out for ice cream and told me something important. She wanted me to know that, unfortunately, I was an undocumented child. I migrated with my mother to America when I was two only months old, lived for a while in California, and then was raised in Texas. My mother felt horrible keeping this secret from me, and that one of her children wasn't able to do certain things as I was approaching adulthood. I was only 9 when she explained the whole story. From that day, I felt like there was this invisible border surrounding me, a constant reminder of my disadvantage compared to the other kids. I hated being the only undocumented kid in every class, knowing that others could easily get a job at Chick-fil-A, have a car as a teenager, or pursue a career. One day, I decided I needed to change that. I told myself that I needed to prove to the world why I deserved that American dream, too. I started writing a plan on how to be a successful student, wrote essays on why being an undocumented child shouldn't stop me from trying to be an American, and even made a plan for which colleges I should attend. I was 11 when I did all of this, so I was a bit of a dreamer. When I was in my last year of high school, I had straight A's in my classes, was offered a great deal at SAC (San Antonio College), and happened to help students who were undocumented. My best feeling was graduating from high school, the first person in the family. Now, I'm in my second year of college, I work as a babysitter, and I'm still dreaming of that American dream. I know in the beginning; I stated that the American dream is an undocumented person's wish. It still is, but I would like to add something to that. An American dream is an undocumented person's wish; however, to achieve it, we must earn and work hard for it. I know I have accomplished a little bit of my part, but I still have more to go. I know one day my American dream will come true, but for now, I can still be a dreamer.

My mental help has helped me have a better vision who I want to be. Such as right now, I have a goal I really want to complete. That's being a dentist in the future. However, knowing the trials and journey of that path is going to be difficult for me. Yet, I always remind self that things aren’t always perfect and knowing that helps my mental health better. I’m in college right now and so far the it’s been fine; however, I will admit there has been moments where I stress out because of school and my life style. I’m an undocumented student trying to find a way to earn my citizenship and graduate soon as possible yet that takes time out of my social life. I haven’t gone out to hang out with my friends or meet people, due to the fact I’m so in focus with my future and school that I have learned it’s what brings the negativity in my mental health. However, mentioned before, I always like to remind myself things aren’t meant to be perfect and that keeps me sane. I understand some people have a hard time dealing with mental health issues, especially in this generation; however, we have to remind ourselves. It’s okay to be sad or have a mental break, sometimes our minds need that rest in order to be a better person or better version of ourselves.