Volunteering has affected my mindset by making me more connected to others. Currently, I volunteer with Project Prima, which is a program run by the University of Vermont’s Ballet Viridis that teaches and participates in weekly ballet classes for individuals with both cognitive and/or physical disabilities. I have been volunteering with Project Prima for months now, but the first time I participated, I was a bit nervous. I did not have much experience yet working with people who have disabilities, and I was not sure what to expect. But, the class went well, and I had nothing to worry about. After that first class, I was relieved. No one was there to evaluate my teaching abilities or communication skills. It was not about me. Everyone in that room just wanted to dance. Ballet classes with Project Prima have since been incredible. Expressive arts like dance have the power to bring people together. Even though I had never met the participants prior to Project Prima, I feel connected to everyone when we dance. Other Ballet Viridis members I have spoken to feel the same. Volunteering holds a lot of specific power, too. Because we are volunteers, we sign up because we want to help others, establish new connections, and simply have fun. When group leaders and other volunteers are teaching because we want to, we create a welcoming environment where members and participants feel safe to connect with others and share kindness. Volunteering with Project Prima is teaching me how to connect with others and how necessary these connections are in the lives of so many people, including myself. Additionally, the connections I am making by volunteering are teaching me that it is crucial to pursue a career that will enable me to stay connected to others. So, that is what I am working towards. My dream is to practice art therapy or expressive arts therapy in a setting that helps combat violence against women, and the education I am currently receiving is a necessity for this dream. However, being able to finance my education is the biggest obstacle I am facing in achieving my career goals. Out-of-state merit and need-based aid do not cover enough of the cost of a college education for a low-income student like me. I need this scholarship financially because I cannot pay for my education on my own. The funding I would receive from the Lauren Czebatul Scholarship would make earning my degree and making my dreams come true a little more plausible.

One way that I spread love and sprinkle kindness in the world throughout my day-to-day life is by vocalizing kind thoughts. I believe it is important to recognize how every person I meet is struggling with something or dealing with events I know absolutely nothing about. The fact that outsiders are often oblivious to someone else’s issues does not make the hardship any less real or relevant. And so, even when I know nothing about a person, I spread a little bit of kindness to them by giving a simple compliment. A small word of reassurance or encouragement does a lot. In my psychology classes, I have learned that feeling valued and appreciated are basic human needs, which means that every compliment I give directly boosts those feelings. Research has shown that being given a compliment makes the part of your brain responsible for social rewards light up, so your brain is active in the same way it would be if you were given money. This activation means that people tend to perform tasks better when they have been complimented or praised beforehand (Sugawara, et al.). So, I use this knowledge to my advantage in order to spread love daily. For example, if I know that a friend has a test or exam later in the day, I will compliment them. It does not need to be very complicated or thought-out. It can be simple, as long as it is kind. I might say, “You’re doing really well in this class. I’m proud of you.” Those few words are enough to make a difference. However, it is of course important to spread love to people you do not know as well, too. I also try to share acts of love via compliments randomly and as often as possible with strangers or acquaintances. Complimenting strangers on something that is not surface-level is more difficult because you know them less well, but surface-level compliments still spread kindness. Saying something like “What a lovely outfit! I like the way your hat matches” validates the time and energy someone might have spent on their appearance that day, so a kind comment on their outfit would have a positive effect. I bring this habit into my volunteer work, as well. I currently help with Project Prima, an organization led by the University of Vermont’s Ballet Viridis that gives and participates in ballet classes for people of all ages with both cognitive and/or physical disabilities. For some dancers in the group, physical participation might not look the same as it would for others, but their achievements should still be validated. So, I try to offer compliments and support before, during, and after ballet class. Not only are compliments scientifically proven to enhance performance, but additionally, I believe compliments have the power to bring a significant increase of joy and reassurance to people’s daily lives.

I never knew what it was like to be “normal.” Since childhood, I have had to battle my brain to function. Everyone knew something was wrong, but no one knew how to solve it. But there is no simple solution. I have learned that “normal” does not exist. Everyone has mental health to look after. Of course, not everyone has a mental illness or disorder, but they are increasingly common, especially among young people. The idea that people struggling with their mental health is a diversion from what is “normal” is a stigma that perpetuates an individual's fear of reaching out for help. I know now that “normal” is not a valid standard, and this stigma, just like many others, needs to change. My mental illnesses have affected me by proving to me that the mental health crisis is the most important problem to address as a young person in emerging adulthood. As far back as I can remember, I have been plagued with anxiety. About everything: germs, social interaction, food, my body- the list goes on. In early middle school, it got worse and I started restricting food, just to control something. My brain felt chaotic, and to me, there was nothing else I could control. When I lost someone close to me in a drunk driving accident, I spiraled. I almost completely stopped eating and wanted to die. I was desperate for help, but it seemed like no one was listening. I started passing out at school due to malnutrition and was eventually hospitalized. In my first hospital, I was on bedrest with a 1:1, so for safety reasons, there was a staff member watching me from a few feet away at all times, even when I showered. My mental illness was a threat to my safety, yes, but this felt dehumanizing. No one was listening to my perspective, and I believed I was being punished for my pain. Eventually, I was transferred to a larger facility where I met dozens of other kids struggling with illnesses like mine. Somehow, it did not feel much better. We were constantly watched, of course, but there were so many other occurrences that made me feel like my illness was my fault. During intake and whenever staff requested, we had to strip for “skin checks,” and there was a padded and locked “isolation room” for kids who acted out. I was here for months, and I never got used to it. Millions of children and adults suffer from mental illnesses, and access to treatment is a privilege, but this should not be how people who need help are treated. It perpetuates the stigma that suggests people with mental illnesses are somehow to blame for their issues, as if their disorders are due to a lack of character or laziness. My experience in mental health treatment taught me that this stigma needs to be addressed, and change needs to happen now. I am teaching myself how to heal and who to trust. I have learned that my problem is an illness, not a fault, and I am a survivor. My relationships are stronger than ever because I surround myself with people who always believe me, and who also want to end the stigma around mental disorders. We need to change the system ourselves. We cannot simply accept the path of least resistance. As young people, I believe we have that power. My experiences with my mental illnesses have shown me how crucial it is to address the mental health crisis by removing the stigma associated with having a mental illness.

I never knew what it was like to be “normal.” Since childhood, I have had to battle my own brain to function. Everyone knew something was wrong, but no one knew how to solve it. But there is no simple solution. So, you just have to keep fighting. I have learned that “normal” does not exist. Every single person on this planet has mental health to look after. Of course, not everyone has a mental illness or disorder, but they are increasingly common, especially among young people. The idea that people struggling with their mental health is a diversion from what is “normal” is a stigma that perpetuates an individual's fear of reaching out for help. I know now that “normal” is not a valid standard, and this stigma, just like many others, needs to change. My experiences with my mental health have shaped my goals, relationships, and understanding of the world by proving to me that the mental health crisis is the most important problem to address as a young person in emerging adulthood. As far back as I can remember, I have been plagued with anxiety. About everything: germs, social interaction, food, my body- the list goes on. It got so bad in early middle school that I started restricting food, just to control something. My brain felt chaotic, and it felt like there was nothing else I could control. When I lost someone close to me due to a drunk driving accident, I spiraled. I almost completely stopped eating and wanted to die. Everything was a cry for help, but it seemed like no one was listening. I started passing out at school due to malnutrition and was eventually hospitalized. In my first hospital, I was on bedrest with a 1:1, so for safety reasons, there was a staff member watching me from a few feet away at all times, even when I showered. My mental illness was a threat to my safety, yes, but this felt dehumanizing. No one was listening to my perspective, and I felt I was being punished for my pain. Eventually, I was transferred to a larger facility where I met dozens of other kids struggling with illnesses like mine. Somehow, it did not feel much better. We were constantly watched, of course, but there were so many other occurrences that made me feel like my illness was my fault. During intake and whenever staff requested, we had to strip for “skin checks,” and there was a padded and locked “isolation room” for kids who acted out. I was here for months, and I never got used to it. Millions of children and adults suffer from mental illnesses, and access to treatment is a privilege, but this should not be how people who need help are treated. It perpetuates the stigma that suggests people with mental illnesses are somehow to blame for their issues, as if their disorders are due to a lack of character or laziness. My experience in mental health treatment taught me that this stigma needs to be addressed, and this change needs to happen now. In high school, I continued to struggle and relapsed often. The medication I was on made the depression and suicidal thoughts worse. However, I was afraid to reach out because I was terrified of going back to treatment that would blame me for struggling. I had to teach myself how to heal and who to trust. I do still struggle, but I have learned that my problem is an illness, not a fault, and I am a survivor. My relationships now are stronger than ever because I surround myself with people who believe me no matter what, and people who also want to end the stigma around mental disorders. We cannot simply accept the path of least resistance. We have to change the system ourselves. As a young person working towards a helping career as an art therapist, I believe I have that power. My experiences with my own mental health have shown me how crucial it is to address the mental health crisis by removing the stigma associated with having a mental illness.

I never knew what it was like to be “normal.” Since childhood, I have had to battle my own brain to function. Everyone knew something was wrong, but no one knew how to solve it. But there is no simple solution. So, you just have to keep fighting. I have learned that “normal” does not exist. Every single person on this planet has mental health to look after. Of course, not everyone has a mental illness or disorder, but they are increasingly common, especially among young people. The idea that people struggling with their mental health is a diversion from what is “normal” is a stigma that perpetuates an individual's fear of reaching out for help. I know now that “normal” is not a valid standard, and this stigma, just like many others, needs to change. My experiences with my mental health have shaped my goals, relationships, and understanding of the world by proving to me that the mental health crisis is the most important problem to address as a young person in emerging adulthood. As far back as I can remember, I have been plagued with anxiety. About everything: germs, social interaction, food, my body- the list goes on. It got so bad in early middle school that I started restricting food, just to control something. My brain felt chaotic, and it felt like there was nothing else I could control. When I lost someone close to me due to a drunk driving accident, I spiraled. I almost completely stopped eating and wanted to die. Everything was a cry for help, but it seemed like no one was listening. I started passing out at school due to malnutrition and was eventually hospitalized. In my first hospital, I was on bedrest with a 1:1, so for safety reasons, there was a staff member watching me from a few feet away at all times, even when I showered. My mental illness was a threat to my safety, yes, but this felt dehumanizing. No one was listening to my perspective, and I felt I was being punished for my pain. Eventually, I was transferred to a larger facility where I met dozens of other kids struggling with illnesses like mine. Somehow, it did not feel much better. We were constantly watched, of course, but there were so many other occurrences that made me feel like my illness was my fault. During intake and whenever staff requested, we had to strip for “skin checks,” and there was a padded and locked “isolation room” for kids who acted out. I was here for months, and I never got used to it. Millions of children and adults suffer from mental illnesses, and access to treatment is a privilege, but this should not be how people who need help are treated. It perpetuates the stigma that suggests people with mental illnesses are somehow to blame for their issues, as if their disorders are due to a lack of character or laziness. My experience in mental health treatment taught me that this stigma needs to be addressed, and this change needs to happen now. In high school, I continued to struggle and relapsed often. The medication I was on made the depression and suicidal thoughts worse. However, I was afraid to reach out because I was terrified of going back to treatment that would blame me for struggling. I had to teach myself how to heal and who to trust. I do still struggle, but I have learned that my problem is an illness, not a fault, and I am a survivor. My relationships now are stronger than ever because I surround myself with people who believe me no matter what, and people who also want to end the stigma around mental disorders. We cannot simply accept the path of least resistance. We have to change the system ourselves. As a young person working towards a helping career, I believe I have that power. My experiences with my own mental health have shown me how crucial it is to address the mental health crisis by removing the stigma associated with having a mental illness.

The quality I most value in myself is my empathy because it drives my ambitions and is the center of my career goals. My dream is to get a master's degree and establish a career as an art therapist. I hope to work with people from all backgrounds who are experiencing or have experienced adverse circumstances. I would especially like to focus on children and teenagers or women. As a survivor myself, I feel incredibly strongly about battling the prevalent domestic violence and sexual assault rates in our society, so I hope to bring the therapeutic benefits of expressive arts to survivors and the children affected in places like women’s shelters. My empathy is the reason for this dream. Empathy is defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Ever since I was young, I have felt the emotions of the people around me very strongly. I used to find it somewhat overwhelming, but now I recognize that it helps my communication skills and will benefit me in my future career. I want to use my ability to understand the experiences of other people, which is how I knew that I wanted to be an art therapist. I will be able to engage with people through art in a way that helps them begin a complicated healing process. Empathy gives me the tools to help people heal, and so to me, it is my most valuable characteristic. Empathy will also enable me to be a better art therapist. By enabling me to understand and share other perspectives, it will permit me to build a stronger therapeutic alliance. Because I have empathy, I will be able to engage and communicate with people in a way that is specific to them, so that they feel heard, understood, and important. Therapy and expressive therapies have the ability to completely change the course of someone’s life for the better. I believe that empathy will give me the ability to prompt those changes. Empathy will also help me during my education while I am working toward this goal, because it enables me with responsive communication skills, a higher level of self-awareness, and makes me driven towards my ultimate goals. Therefore, I value my characteristic of empathy the most. Not only does it help me to perform well as a student, but it allows me to stay driven. Having empathy is the most important quality I could have once I reach my dream of becoming an art therapist, because it will give me the tools to successfully engage with people and start the healing process, or even simply just help to provide a small amount of relief to someone who needs it. Empathy is a crucial asset to my communication skills, which I will value throughout my life.