For the longest time, my Filipino-American identity was a source of mild confusion for me, not due to being Filipina, but rather the tangled mess of other identities and cultures that tried to swallow that part of me. Despite living closer to my Pinoy relatives, Mexican-American culture always seemed louder and to take up more of my life and identity. The chances to learn and understand the Filipino part of myself were more scattered and fewer and farther between, often existing only during the annual Simbang Gabi celebrations and the time I spent with my Lolo and Lola. I think I began feeling the most disconnected from both myself and my Filipina identity when it came time to apply to university, and it was recommended that I only apply as a Mexican-American to have a better chance at getting into my preferred colleges, yet retrospection on both this and some conversations with my Lola have helped me see how much my Filipino identity shaped me anyways. Despite everything, I still felt the desire to learn more about what I had missed, to experience more than the cooking of my mom and Lola, and that curiosity pushed me to learn more and more both about myself, and the world around me. At the start of this summer, I spent quite a bit of time with my Lola, and as a part of that time, I had the time to ask my Lola to start teaching me Tagalog, as I had time between the end of the school year and the start of my summer job. At the start, it was difficult, as I was also helping care for my Lolo, but the other part of this summer taught me resilience. The time I spent with my Lolo and Lola helped me connect with them more than I had previously, as I learned not just their stories, but also their wisdom on both life and career. My Lola told me about her time in college, as well as her life. She told me about her career, and how she branched out and learned different skills beyond her, and for me.  My experience with my mother’s family pushes me to continue my search for a deeper understanding of the world, as well as deepen my skills and understanding of myself.

When I started high school, I was not sure where I wanted to go in life. All I could say is that I had a lot of hobbies I enjoyed, none of which blended well. I excelled in math and sciences, yet I wanted to take my time to enjoy art, be it in a game or choral performance. Then in the second semester, I met the woman who later became one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Hernandez. Mrs. Hernandez introduced me and several other girls to various computer and media technologies, and over the next 3 years at Incarnate Word, I had the fortune to take two more classes with her: a web design class and a general engineering class she helped facilitate. Despite my not being able to take more of her classes, she was always happy to welcome me into her computer lab and pointed me toward various resources I could use to learn different coding languages, such as JavaScript. If I had to pick a particular moment in that entire journey that cemented my resolve to pursue a computer science degree, it would be when I got a few lines of JavaScript working on my final project for Web Design, despite that class being HTML and CSS focused. As for the future, there are multiple possibilities I am considering. However, what I would like to do the most is become a software engineer. Throughout that engineering class, ten or so girls, myself included, learned what it meant to be engineers, as well as how many seemingly insignificant decisions of a product can affect its usability and marketability, especially for those with various disabilities. This course taught me how to innovate and analyze other things, to always be willing to learn and grow from failures, but most importantly try again when a prototype does not work out as well as you thought it would. Another path I have considered is game development, as I believe it is a nice intersection of my interests and abilities. At the moment, though, I have largely pursued game development on my own time as a hobby. Receiving this scholarship would mean a lot to me, as I have invested quite a bit of time into learning computer science and helping my classmates with their projects and assignments, as I also want to see them succeed. Technology is an ever-growing industry and I want to contribute to helping it grow stably and positively in an ever more interconnected world.

When I started high school, I was not sure where I wanted to go in life. All I could say is that I had a lot of hobbies I enjoyed, none of which blended well. I excelled in math and sciences, yet I wanted to take my time to enjoy art, be it in a game or choral performance. Then in the second semester, I met the woman who later became one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Hernandez. Mrs. Hernandez introduced me and several other girls to various computer and media technologies, and over the next 3 years at Incarnate Word, I had the fortune to take two more classes with her: a web design class and a general engineering class she helped facilitate. Despite my not being able to take more of her classes, she was always happy to welcome me into her computer lab and pointed me toward various resources I could use to learn different coding languages, such as JavaScript. If I had to pick a particular moment in that entire journey that cemented my resolve to pursue a computer science degree, it would be when I got a few lines of JavaScript working on my final project for Web Design, despite that class being HTML and CSS focused.   As for the future, there are multiple possibilities I am considering. However, what I would like to do the most is become a software engineer. Throughout that engineering class, ten or so girls, myself included, learned what it meant to be engineers, as well as how many seemingly insignificant decisions of a product can affect its usability and marketability, especially for those with various disabilities. This course taught me how to innovate and analyze other things, to always be willing to learn and grow from failures, but most importantly try again when a prototype does not work out as well as you thought it would.   Another path I have considered are game development, as I believe it is a nice intersection of my interests and abilities. At the moment, though, I have largely pursued game development on my own time as a hobby.   One thing I am sure of: regardless of what I do end up pursuing a career, I do want to eventually return to college to hopefully achieve a master's or even a Ph.D. in computer science. Computer science is an ever-expanding field, and I want to be someone who is able to contribute to it.

My mom has been in my life for as long as I can remember, from my first field trips to every random hour of the day I call home from my college campus a thousand miles away. Of course, there is more to her story than a simple presence in my life. This is not just a story about how she has impacted my life, but how I almost never had a mom to impact my life. November 2002. My mom is on her way to my aunt's house, as she had been taking care of me while my mom was working. On her way there, an 18-wheeler struck her, almost killing her. She was bringing formula for a tiny baby, barely 3 months old and already facing the possible loss of a parent. It was a fearful time for our family because my mom was the breadwinner. What were we to do without her as she lay comatose and the doctors had told everyone she had at most two hours to live? And so everyone did as everyone from both sides of my family had been taught to do: they prayed. And so two hours became four, then four became eight, eight sixteen, and soon enough she came to. That was not the end of that chapter, as she had several memory issues and had to relearn how to do many things. These events shaped her and how she raised me. By the time I entered preschool, she had been driving to and from school and helping me with homework and teaching me how to read. However, behind all of this work were people telling her to play it safe and not go back to her career, and for a time, she was more than happy to, as she had a child to care for. She spent her time teaching me all sorts of things: from math to literature, all as a supplement to the education I already received. Outside of this, she volunteered at our church, and happily let me help, or at least try to help her as she served food to older teens or taught other children about our faith. As I reached my sixth-grade year, she began to yearn for something more. She wanted to have her career back, yet everyone around her was scared to let her. After all, she had the safety of a disability check to rely on, and a child to care for, even though I was becoming reliable enough to pack my own lunch. To little sixth-grade me, the fear of losing disability pay did not make sense, as I thought she was smart enough for it. After all, the summer before, she had helped me catch up to my school's accelerated math program so I could join it. Even though it took a lot of time to convince my father, she got a job. Despite the fear of losing the disability checks, when we stopped receiving those, it no longer mattered, as she made more than she did with disability, and as I crossed the threshold into college, she had more than doubled that check. In the eight years between then and now, she still found the time for me, from concerts to plays to the occasional field trip. She was there and ready to encourage me to take the leap of faith. She encouraged me to continue pursuing my dreams, but perhaps most importantly, she proved I did not have to let a career stop me from having a family and community.

This was my first live performance as an actor for a school production in my freshman year. This is a bold moment for me, as at the time, and partially still today, I am not a person who actively enjoys having a spotlight on me. This is perhaps one of many steps that I have taken towards being more confident in showcasing my abilities to an audience without the back up of others, and in the future, I hope I can stand alone for myself in front of a live audience.