I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. I have strived to increase communication across boundaries in my community, and I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. Even now every day I strive openly to improve my local community in manners that have not been possible before. I want to show the rising generation that an individual does not need to go to the nation’s capital or their state capital to have a direct impact on their community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of their community than officials at the state or federal level. We are the ones who determine local land-use rights, preservation of agriculture farms, water rights, protection of wildlife and wetlands, and so much more in beautifying and preserving our environment. Recently, in an effort to preserve more farmlands, the ability for farms to own a vineyard and preserve and sell wine has been passed in our local planning commission council. Many residents initially were afraid that this would impact the community negatively. But on the contrary, it is all in an effort to preserve agriculture and produce alternative types of food products in the valley. As part of my duties as Deputy Recorder, I have begun a project to scan as many deeds related to the cemetery into a searchable website. This is all an effort to transfer to solely digital records to lower the usage of paper. The City strives to become more efficient to prove our environment in any form. A recent city ordinance is up for debate permitting livestock such as chickens, hares, etc. inside the city according to lot size. There are many citizens who were doing so illegally, but the city is not in the habit of policing livestock. Many residents are in favor and as such new guidelines will be established to ensure that alternative methods of natural food can be produced by the community. I want to show that local government can be a good means of voicing ideas in our community. All of us have to work together to help protect agriculture, wildlife, and the environment for future generations. It will show my community that we can look and be different but still work together towards a common cause. And in working together we will be able to change the world.

"To Have Hope," is the simple message which I wish to convey. Far too often from dreams to mental health have been affected by the lack of hope. Hope seems so very fleeting these days and yet, I still believe in a brighter tomorrow. In my early twenties due to mitigating circumstances, my mother never recovered from spinal fusion surgery. Abruptly, I found myself as a full-time caretaker to my mother. My school, career, and life plan abruptly came to a halt and it continued in this manner for several years. It took years, hard work, and endurance, but I managed to finally return to school. I am pleased to report that in the spring of 2021, I graduated from Utah State University with a degree in English. In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. My journey has been far from easy, but I have never given up hope. I want to be a beacon of hope to boys and girls and who look like me showing them that they can strive for more. To fellow women that they do have a voice and what they have to say can make a difference. In my community that we can all look and be different but still work together towards a common cause. The hope of a better tomorrow that we can all create is the message I dare share.

In my early twenties due to mitigating circumstances, my mother never recovered from spinal fusion surgery. Abruptly, I found myself as a full-time caretaker to my mother. My school, career, and life plan abruptly came to a halt and it continued in this manner for several years. It took years, hard work, and endurance, but I managed to finally return to school. I am pleased to report that in the spring of 2021, I graduated from Utah State University with a degree in English. In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I want to show the power communication can have across local and worldwide boundaries. I have strived to increase communication across boundaries in my community, and I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. Even now every day I strive openly to improve my local community in manners that have not been possible before. Council meeting agendas, voting notices, and other public notices are now translated into Spanish by me and posted on social media to reach members of the community that previously were not reached out to. Through the platform, a community engagement program with our local university has been instituted to provide volunteering and engagement opportunities to undergraduate students to serve in the local community. I have learned that I can create a better tomorrow. With this scholarship, I will be able to improve myself and my local community and beyond.

In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I want to show the power communication can have across local and worldwide boundaries. I have strived to increase communication across boundaries in my community, and I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. Moreover, as a part of my local government, I want to improve and learn by meeting others who are similar yet possess a different perspective from me. I believe that the opportunity to travel and meet other people forces an individual to grow out of their comfort zone and improve their communication skills. It is a crucial knowledge that seems to be fading away more and more in politics. I truly believe if more individuals had the opportunity to see the world, their perspective would change for the better as the differences that exist between us is not a reason for fear or anger but rather something to be appreciated and celebrated. It is these differences that permit different ideas and different solutions to come into existence. I desire and plan to be exposed to different ideas and methods that can be implemented in my community. The Short-Term Study Abroad Program will permit me to work with public officials in Denmark. It is an invaluable opportunity to see and learn how the implementation of policies and solutions differ in comparison at a local and national level and if any can be implemented within my local community. This is all to be exposed to different thought processes and ideas as local community solutions require working in collaboration with organizations across the board.

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. It is ironic what the lack of growth and progress can do to a family. In my family, none of my relatives have ever attended college. It is even a feat to even graduate from High School. It is a difficult precedent to break even with the best goals in mind. Unfortunately, in my early twenties due to mitigating circumstances, my mother never recovered from spinal fusion surgery. Abruptly, I found myself as a full-time caretaker to my mother. My school, career, and life plan abruptly came to a halt and it continued in this manner for several years. It took years, hard work, and endurance, but I managed to finally return to school. I am pleased to report that in the spring of 2021, I graduated from Utah State University with a degree in English. In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I want to show what enduring to the end can change an entire generation. At present, the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. But more importantly, it will be an investment for the future.

It is ironic what the lack of growth and progress can do to a family. In my family, none of my relatives have ever attended college. It is even a feat to even graduate from High School. It is a difficult precedent to break even with the best goals in mind. Unfortunately, in my early twenties due to mitigating circumstances, my mother never recovered from spinal fusion surgery. Abruptly, I found myself as a full-time caretaker to my mother. My school, career, and life plan abruptly came to a halt and it continued in this manner for several years. It took years, hard work, and endurance, but I managed to finally return to school. I am pleased to report that in the spring of 2021, I graduated from Utah State University with a degree in English. In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I want to show the power communication can have across local and worldwide boundaries. I have strived to increase communication across boundaries in my community, and I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come.

In caring for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed serving others and that I wanted to make a difference. I want to show the power communication can have across local and worldwide boundaries. I have strived to increase communication across boundaries in my community, and I am at present the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor’s Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public that we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work successfully together despite our differences. Many times, as children, we do not dare to believe in greater things because that dream seems simply unattainable and impossible to achieve. I want to show the rising generation that an individual does not need to go to the nation’s capital or their state capital to have a direct impact on their community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of their community than officials at the state or federal level. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come.

Friendship comes in all shapes and forms. I was twelve years old when I met La Nona. She was a petite Argentinian woman, who had severe arthritis. At first glance, she appeared feeble and very demur. Yet La Nona was the life of the party. She loved to tell her tales of her riding motorcycles or owning a pizzeria. In retrospect, it almost seems impossible that such a lively old lady and a bookish teen would become the best of friends. She understood me better than my friends and my parents. Perchance it was because we were two lonely souls, but I like to think that we had already been friends once before. To me, La Nona was a constant fixture in my life and I would love to visit her with her often. No matter what type of day I might have, she always had the time to listen to me and regale me with her life stories. There is not a single part of me growing up that was not touched by her light. And I am forever grateful for having found a true friend to count on. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and in 2008, La Nona perished from cancer. It is one of the few times I have ever wept in public, and even now I still will sniffle at her passing. Yet even now I cannot help but laugh at hearing the roar of a motorcycle pass by. It is a reminder that no true friendship is ever lost, simply tucked away in a corner of the heart.

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. It is ironic what the lack of growth and progress can do to a family. In my family, none of my have ever cousins attended college. Consequently, I am the first person in my family to graduate from a University despite life-changing trials. I am the only person in my family to ever pursue a master’s degree in Public Administration. My decision to continue my education has opened the door for possibility in my own family. Some of my younger cousins have applied for college and have even been accepted. Maybe, it is nothing in the eyes of others, but in our family, an incredible growth mindset has begun. I have steadily pressed onward, I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work together despite being different. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a citizen of the United States. I might not be able to change the world, but I can certainly build my community up to create a better tomorrow. I can lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and that of others.

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. It is ironic what the lack of growth and progress can do to a family. In my family, none of my have ever cousins attended college. In fact, it is even a feat to even graduate from High School. Now, it is so much from a lack of opportunity but rather a fixed mindset. What is the point of education, if they will all one day be working construction or another form of manual laborers? It is a difficult precedent and mindset to break. Consequently, I am the first person in my family to graduate from a University. And I am the only person in my family to ever pursue a Master’s degree in Public Administration from Southern Utah University. The road has been far from easy for me, I have had to put my education, career, and life on hold for several years when I became a full-time caretaker to my mother in my early twenties. It was a difficult change that I did not foresee in my youth. I could have just as easily have given up, I had every excuse and reason to. Still, I stubbornly persisted despite the mind-numbing exhaustion, loneliness, and frustration that I felt at times. It was a trying time seeing the world move past me, while mine remained immovable and stagnant. What changed was not my world, but my attitude. Even now, I am still a caretaker to my parent, but I began to see the change in my life as a challenge to overcome but an opportunity to grow and reconnect with my parent. My mother became my greatest of advocates and supporters despite her disabling condition. She became my best friend and an inspiration to continue. It took time and effort, but I adjusted my life to ensure that I can continue my education and return to a fulfilling career. I am proud to say that my persistence paid off and I finally graduated with a Bachelor's degree in English. My decision to continue my education despite ongoing life difficulties has since opened the door for that same possibility in my own family. Some of my younger cousins have applied for college and have even been accepted. Maybe, it is nothing in the eyes of others, but in our family, an incredible transformation has begun that will impact the upcoming generations to come. I have strived to improve myself through hard work and I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve and is still possible to work together despite being different. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a public servant within my community. I might not be able to change the world, but I can certainly build my community up to create a better tomorrow. I can lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. In fact, I do not wish to limit myself to just at a local level but rather at a global level. A precious opportunity to travel has appeared before me in the form of a Short-term Study Abroad Program to the University of Copenhagen from Southern Utah University for the Public Administration Master’s program. Moreover, as a part of my local government, I want to improve and learn by meeting others who are similar and different from me. The ability to travel and study abroad forces an individual to grow out of their comfort zone in a good manner. It will force me to think or consider things in a different manner. And better yet cause me to grow and utilize the ability to communicate with another human being. It is a crucial knowledge that seems to be fading away more and more in politics. I truly believe if more individuals had the opportunity to see more of the world, their perspectives would change for the better. I will not give up simply because it is hard. My community is worth it and the entire world is even more so. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and that of others.

“Go where you must go, and hope.” — Gandalf, (Lord of The Rings.) The fantastic work of J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings has been with me ever since the 5th grade all thanks to Mr. Carlisle. Reading has always been one of my passions ever since I was a child and it has brought me great solace. It was a wonderful world that I immerse myself and free myself from the stress and worries that the world is plagued with. Books have always been my most constant of companions in both the good and the bad. They have been with me every step of the way. And I am lucky to have had them with me. They inspire me to have courage and never give up. They have even inspired me to write. I perchance am not great right now, but I desire to write something of worth to inspire the upcoming generation just as J.R.R. Tolkien did for me. I don't need hundreds of readers, but just one whose my words will be of worth to. I would like to be a writer someday, but in the meantime, I will do what I can with my own hands as a public servant. I might be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will light my path.

If you can't decide buy "the basket." Rather than worrying about buying just one buying stock in a single company buy in all of them. Firstly, it ensures that all my eggs are in a single basket. If something should occur, I can use the gains to cover my losses and determine if that stock is good or not. I can slowly purge the stock that costing me rather than suddenly finding myself with no gains and simply losses. It serves to make things less personal rather than taking them personally if a loss occurs. It's easier to step back and see the entire picture rather than only concentrating on a single character. It helps me plan ahead and identify if the companies I have invested in are the right ones for me, and if I want to increase that investment or not.

Don't wait for something bad to happen, before changing your life. It's as simple as that. I am of the philosophy of improving by 1% percent each day. I can honestly say that the thought of running a mile is overwhelming, but if I start by walking just 10 minutes and slowly increase my time day by day, my goal isn't as overwhelming. Far too often, I feel that we look down upon ourselves for not looking a certain way or not eating as well as we should. Rather I look at it as I want to eat that piece of pie, so I should only eat one or two shrimp tacos. Rather than cutting myself off from sweets and then eating an entire bag of chocolate, it's better to eat a small portion rather than a large portion. I can both satisfy my craving and ensure that I am not overeating. It's a work in progress, but I am happy to say there are more good days than bad days. It's not a matter of sprinting and then being unable to finish the race. But rather taking your time to enjoy life while doing so.

The definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Well, I will argue partially against that definition as I most definitely was upset, tired, or even angry. I was 25 years old when my once perfectly healthy mother became disabled. It was a rough transition when I went from only caring about what I wanted to become a full-time caretaker. Frankly, it was exhausting, and as a result, I even left the job field for several years. It was frustrating at times, but I learned to be more patient and to find joy in my tribulations. I learned to find joy in the quiet moments, I shared with my mother. I learned to understand her and I am proud to say that she is my best friend. Patience is not the absence of these emotions in my opinion, but rather the product of endurance to the end. Patience is not being meek, but rather accepting that the reality cannot be changed. Patience is the ability to suffer and continue to do while still finding joy. As a consequence, finally, in 2020, I returned to school and I am currently pursuing a Master's degree. I even gained the courage to become the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. I want to prove that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government.

Patience is getting back up even when you feel that you are bruised and bleeding. Patience has never been a good thing for me, but rather an enduring trait. I was 25 years old when my once perfectly healthy mother became disabled. It was a rough transition when I went from only caring about what I wanted to become a full-time caretaker. Frankly, it was exhausting. I was the one who slept at my mother's side after the multiple surgeries. I was the one who made certain that she could get up to go to the bathroom and gave her medication. As a result, I even left the job field for several years. It was frustrating at times, but I learned to be more patient and to find joy in my tribulations. I learned to find joy in the quiet moments, I shared with my mother. I learned to understand her and I can honestly say that she is my best friend. The definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Well, I will argue partially against that definition as I most definitely was upset, tired, or even angry. However, I learned not to shout and vent my frustrations to others. Early on, my younger sister decided that she had other priorities namely her friends much as my father did. I learned to be tolerant and grateful when my younger sister or father did help out. Patience is not the absence of these emotions in my opinion, but rather the product of endurance to the end. Patience is not being meek, but rather accepting that the reality cannot be changed. Patience is the ability to suffer and continue to do while still finding joy.

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. It is ironic what the lack of growth and progress can do to a family. In my family, none of my cousins attended college. In fact, it is even a feat to even graduate from High School. Now, it is so much from a lack of opportunity but rather a mindset. What is the point of education, if they will all one day be construction or another form of manual laborers? As a consequence, I am the first person in my family to graduate from a University and I am the only person in my family to pursue a Master's degree. My family views me as an oddity, but rather I view them as the odd ones. They had so many talents, but are squandered away by archaic biases. Yet not is lost a few younger cousins have applied for college. Maybe, it is nothing in the eyes of others, but in our family, a growth mindset has begun. I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government.

Go where you must go, and hope.” — Gandalf, (J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings). As a child and all growing, my mother always said to me, "Studying is for you and not for me." I cannot express how much I hated to hear those words as a child and in my youth. It was a source of constant frustration to me because she would never say she was proud of my academic grades. Rather she would always ask if I was happy with them, and if I was, well, that was enough for her. As I grew older, I grew to understand what she meant. I could choose the hard way to go to college or I could choose to give up. I am the first in my family to graduate from a University and I am the only person in my family to pursue a Master's degree in Public Administration. I am the strange female member in my family that my aunts and uncles don't know how to treat. I am not the black sheep in the family more like I am the odd polka-dotted one. I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. It took time and effort, but I found that I could be an invaluable member of the community. I realized I could translate much of the public notices which included the City Council Agena, Voting notices, and plenty of other government offices into Spanish. Without being asked to, I became the unofficial Spanish translator for our government officials. I took it upon myself to fulfill the much-needed services to my community that was not provided for. My service as a translator is not part of my job description nor am I being paid extra for it. City recorders and clerks are often the unsung hero's as they say, we keep the Cities moving, but we never receive nary a word of thanks. Yet I don't mind, because I don't like the attention. It is not that I don't like to be thanked, but I am not in it for the praise, but rather to provide a genuine public service. I sincerely wish to serve my community and better it. Merlin knows I could get a better-paying job in the private sector. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as an individual. I might not be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. I can lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and that of others.

"Maybe let it go isn’t always the, answer. Maybe sometimes the, answer is let it be," -EMMA GRACE. Childhood trauma is intrusive and there is no part of one's life that is not touched by that. I continue to be impacted by my past childhood trauma. I have great difficulty connecting to others as that requires a certain degree of vulnerability that I am not comfortable with. I have a fear of conflict and when confronted I completely dissociate all emotion and will only concentrate on solving the problem rather than voicing my own emotions. Perchance, the worst part of it all is the involuntary physical sensory sensations that are triggered by the limbic system despite me. For many years, I was in denial and then the long process of healing began. I slowly began to dream again and for the first time, I dared to take a chance on following my own desires. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in English. Though I am often incapable of clearly expressing my emotions verbally, I am able to convey them much more proficiently in writing. I thought my healing journey was done and so, I grew stagnant in my personal growth. I began to disconnect from friendships since it was difficult to be vulnerable with my friends. I returned to my past habits of dissociation for it was far easier to be indifferent than to feel. I began to physically not take care of myself, and I slowly once more retreated back into my shell where it was safe. I still can't say what it exactly was, but I remember one day thinking that I no longer had friends, I had let them all go. It was a terrifying realization and one that filled me with sorrow. However, I was far more terrified at the idea of leaving my shell of indifference and feeling again, but I knew that if I didn't, I would never emerge from the safety of my shell. Impulsed by a sudden desire to change, I began to search for rooms for growth again. As a consequence, I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I had once again grown and broken down barriers, but at the start of 2021, I felt something inside me change. Fears and childhood trauma that I thought I had grown out of returned with a vengeance. Perchance, it was because I felt myself at last ready to contemplate the idea of dating even if the idea of a romantic relationship fills me with horrifying fear. All of sudden everything became threefold more painful, I struggled to move on, but I found myself starting to retreat into the safety of my shell. I knew how this story ended and so I came to the fork in the road. I could choose to let myself go or I could seek help for myself. Without even meaning to, the answer came to me due to being part of the active engagement committee in my community. I learned of the Younique Foundation and desire my inner fears of being in a vulnerable position, I opened myself up to a new possibility. It was at the Younique Foundation that I meant other women like myself and for the first time in a long time, I felt a part of something. I wasn't just one more woman with childhood tramua, I was one of them. I wasn't alone anymore, my feelings and past were validated. And though we were all at different healing places, we all needed someone to tell us that, "it would all be alright." I returned at the end of April of 2021 filled with hope and comfort. I won't deny that I still have difficulties in connecting with others, but I am trying baby step by baby step. And I am pleased to note that I have made progress in reaching out to friends and meeting new people. I am pleased not to announce that I am on a public clerks committee and am exchanging information with an international clerk. All of which is still utterly terrified each time and is often more than not accompanied by involuntary intrusive trauma responses. In moving out of my comfort zone, I have learned of the power of surrender. That doesn't mean ignoring my trauma response, but rather coexisting with the involuntary physical response in a positive way. Rather than fighting the limbic system response, I acknowledge the response by reminding myself of the fact that I am safe even if my body is telling me otherwise. II might not be able to change the world nor my trauma response, but I can hope to build a better tomorrow for myself and my local community. I know that at least in my family circle, I have already made positive changes that I intend to keep. It is possible to lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and I hope that of others.

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. As a child and all growing, my mother always said to me, "Studying is for you and not for me." I cannot express how much I hated to hear those words as a child and in my youth. It was a source of constant frustration to me because she would never say she was proud of my academic grades. Rather she would always ask if I was happy with them, and if I was that was enough for her. As I grew older, I grew to understand what she meant. I could choose the hard way to go to college or I could choose to work in a factory for the rest of my life. As a consequence, I am the first person in my family to graduate from a University and I am the only person in my family to pursue a Master's degree. I am the strange female member in my family that my aunts and uncles don't know how to treat. I am not the black sheep more like I am the odd polka-dotted one. I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come. I might not be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. I can lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and that of others.

“Go where you must go, and hope.” — Gandalf. The fantastic work of J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings has been with me ever since the 5th grade thanks to Mr. Carlisle. Growing up was a difficult process for me, I was different from all of my cousins, I loved to read. When everyone just sat around watching t.v. in the living room, I read a book in a corner. Nor was I like any of my female cousins, who loved to chat about boys, while I preferred to discuss history or psychology. There were times where I despaired of ever fitting in, but the Lord of the Rings was with me every step of the way. I learned to not be afraid of the unknown, but more importantly to never give up hope. Presently, I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example. I want to show that one doesn't need to be in Washington D.C. to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those in the federal government. I might not be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will light my path. And so just as Gandalf once said, “Go where you must go, and hope.”

"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy," - Marie Curie. As a child, I was inspired by my childhood heroes such as Joan of Arc, Mulan, Bodica, Martin Luther King, Archimedes, Socrates, Issac Newton, Galileo, Plato, Einstein, etc. When I learned about Marie Curie an entire world was opened to me. But alas, despite my incredible love and passion for math and science as it would turn out, I do not have much of a talent for math. It is akin to a singer, who happens to be tone-deaf. Born in 1867 in Warsaw, Marie Curie despite being a woman of her time went against all the societal norms or perceptions of women. Against all odds, she pursued her education eventually becoming Head of the Physics Laboratory at the Sorbonne and gaining a Doctor of Science degree in 1903. It was an astronomical achievement, and her work in the Radium field led to a noble prize. Just like Marie Curie, I too want to break down barriers. I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government.

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step," Lao Tzu. There has never been such an irony nor as an applicable statement as that which Lao Tzu said. When I attended Utah State University. I had a part-time job between classes, but that still wasn't enough to cover my tuition. I did something that seemed relatively easy and simple at that time, I elected to accept student loans to pay off my tuition. Now, a student loan is a wonderful thing, but it isn't until I was knees deep in debt that it occurred to me that the loan will have to be paid off in the future. I am still far from being anywhere near to paying off my student loan. My financial freedom is still severely constrained, but I have kept at it until I have a position that enables me to pay off my student loan, but far more importantly I recently returned to school. I was recently admitted into the Public Administration Master Program. In my early twenties, I believed that financial freedom meant not having to have a full-time while attending school. I can sheepishly admit it now, but I was dead wrong. As hard as that might have been, my financial debt would have been less if I had tried harder at that time. A consequence might have been that it would have taken me longer to graduate, but my financial burden would have been lesser or even non-existent. It is as Lao Tzu said, that which appears hard now becomes easy, but that which appears easy becomes a journey of a thousand miles. It is better to work hard now than later.

As a child and all growing, my mother always said to me, "Studying is for you and not for me." I cannot express how much I hated to hear those words as a child and in my youth. It was a source of constant frustration to me because she would never say she was proud of my academic grades. Rather she would always ask if I was happy with them, and if I was that was enough for her. As I grew older, I grew to understand what she meant. I could choose the hard way to go to college or I could choose the easy way and get married. Now that is not to argue against the institution of marriage, but in my family and culture, typically women get married very young. I am the first in my family to graduate from a University and I am the only person in my family to pursue a Master's degree. I am the strange female member in my family that my aunts and uncles don't know how to treat. I am not the black sheep more like I am the odd polka-dotted one. There were times where I despaired of ever fitting in and yet here I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to continue to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come. I might not be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. I can lead by example and sometimes that is all that is truly needed to get the ball rolling. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will lighten my path and the that of others.

“Go where you must go, and hope.” — Gandalf, (Lord of The Rings.) The fantastic work of J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings has been with me ever since the 5th grade all thanks to Mr. Carlisle. Growing up was a difficult thing for me, I was different from all of my cousins, I was bookish. I loved to read and it showed when everyone just sat around watching a movie, while I read a book in a corner of the living. I wasn't really like any of my female cousins, who loved to chat about boys, I preferred history and psychology. There were times where I despaired of ever fitting in, yet I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come. I might not be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will light my path. And so just as Gandalf once said, “Go where you must go, and hope.”

We need more examples. Too often we see only a few possibilities of what we can grow up to be, but the reality is that we can be just about anything we set our minds to. In my middle school, I wanted to be President of the United States, I was told that wasn't feasible. In High School, I wanted to be an oil painter, I was told that I couldn't make a living out of it. Each time I was told to give up a dream and I didn't have a single example to prove me otherwise. Well, I did not become the President of the United States, but I did break down barriers. I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come.

Kindness is key and that at times takes a perception change. Recently, learned that we are all apples. Sounds strange, right, but that experience changed my entire outlook on how I look at people. I was asked to list all the things that can be done with apples and in the end, I had a list of over a hundred items and there was still plenty of more to add. Then I was asked to describe a bad day which I did. I was told that on those days we are all bruised just like apples, but if we cut the bad part off of the apple, we can still make something great out of that apple. No one is a rotten apple merely a bruised apple. That simple fundamental idea changed my entire outlook on life. Instead of being frustrated at individuals both at work and in my personal life, I stopped seeing them as rotten apples. Instead, I would find myself thinking, "Oh, she's a bit bruised today, okay. What can I make with that today?" I found myself reaching out to my family and others more looking past their bruised exterior. I can be generous, I can be kind, I can be caring, and I can look beyond myself and them.

"If we want to change our story, then we need to change our stories-," Brad Barton. I had the privilege of hearing Brad Barton speak and this phrase has stuck with me ever since then. At that time, I had been stuck in a rut with my family and in my career. I felt that I was far more stressed, less kind, and far more judgemental than I had ever been despite my best efforts. At that moment, I had to ask myself if I liked my life story and where it was heading, and I realized that I didn't. At that moment, I put my life into respective. I was not happy at my job and I realized it was time to make a life change. I began to apply for other job positions and though I was discouraged countless times. Still, I persisted and I kept at it and at it until I find myself in my current position as Deputy Recorder. I am happy to report that I thoroughly enjoy my job. Yet in my own personal life, there still remained an imbalance. Against all odds, in the middle of a pandemic, I not only returned to school, but I sought to put my emotional and mental health in a better state. I have the Younique Foundation to thank for that, they helped me start breathing again with the scars that I bear. I can never express my gratitude enough for all that they have done. It is these glimpses of hope that have significantly altered my life forevermore.

I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come.

“Go where you must go, and hope.” — Gandalf, (Lord of The Rings.) The fantastic work of J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings has been with me ever since the 5th grade all thanks to Mr. Carlisle. Growing up was a difficult thing for me, I was different from all of my cousins, I was bookish. I loved to read and it showed when everyone just sat around watching a movie, while I read a book in a corner of the living. I wasn't really like any of my female cousins, who loved to chat about boys, I preferred history and psychology. There were times where I despaired of ever fitting in, but my fiction companions always accompanied me on my most trying of journies. They were there when I first made true good friends and my best friends to this day. They were there when I first began to branch out into new areas. In fact, their story has always been there when it was the worst of times and to this day. I wish to someday write something of worth to inspire the upcoming generation just as J.R.R. Tolkien did for me. I don't need hundreds of readers, but just one whose my words will be of worth. I would like to be a writer someday, but in the meantime, I will do what I can with my own hands as a public servant. I might be able to change the world, but I can build my community up to create a better tomorrow. It is said that hope is always the last to die and it is that same hope and dream that will light my path.

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step," Lao Tzu. There has never been such an irony nor as an applicable statement as that which Lao Tzu said. When I attended Utah State University. I had a part-time job between classes, but that still wasn't enough to cover my tuition. I did something that seemed relatively easy and simple at that time, I elected to accept student loans to pay off my tuition. Now, a student loan is a wonderful thing, but it isn't until I was knees deep in debt that it occurred to me that the loan will have to be paid off in the future. I am still far from being anywhere near to paying off my student loan. My financial freedom is still severely constrained, but I have kept at it until I have a position that enables me to pay off my student loan, but far more importantly return to school. I was recently admitted into the Public Administration Master Program. In my early twenties, I believed that financial freedom meant not having to have a full-time while attending school. I can sheepishly admit it now, but I was dead wrong. As hard as that might have been, my financial debt would have been less if I had tried harder at that time. A consequence might have been that it would have taken me longer to graduate, but my financial burden would have been lesser or even non-existent. It is as Lao Tzu said, that which appears hard now becomes easy, but that which appears easy becomes a journey of a thousand miles. It is better to work hard now than later.

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step," Lao Tzu. There has never been such an irony nor as an applicable statement as that which Lao Tzu said. When I was younger, I attended Utah State University. I had a part-time job between classes, but that still wasn't enough to cover my tuition. I did something that seemed relatively easy and simple at that time, I elected to accept student loans to pay off my tuition. Now, a student loan is a wonderful thing, but it isn't until I was knees deep in debt that it occurred to me that the loan will have to be paid off in the nearby future. Well, needless to say, I am still far from being anywhere near to paying off my student loan. My financial freedom was constrained, but I have kept at it until I have a position that enables me to pay off my student loan, but far more importantly return to school. As a consequence of the pandemic and the planets aligning in my plane of existence, I was admitted into the Public Adminstration's Master Program. Against all odds, I have not taken out a loan to pay off my tuition even if my finances are severely constrained. In my early twenties, I believed that financial freedom meant not having to have a full-time while attending school. I can sheepishly admit it now, but I was dead wrong. As hard as that might have been, my financial debt would have been less if I had tried harder at that time. A consequence might have been that it would have taken me longer to graduate, but my financial burden would have been lesser or even non-existent. Yet in the present in spite of working forty hours a week, I am still able to keep a 4.0 GPA while balancing real-life responsibilities not including having become a full-time caretaker to a parent. The irony is not lost on me that despite having more responsibility and less time to study, I have a better GPA now than when I was completing my bachelor's. It is as Lao Tzu said, "it is better to do the difficult things when they are easy and the great things while they are small." That which appears hard now becomes easy in the future, but that which looks easy now is typically what becomes a journey of a thousand miles in the future. To gain financial freedom it is better to suffer now than to suffer in the future thanks to compounded interest.

“But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.” — Sam Gamgee, (Lord of The Rings.) The fantastic work of J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings has been with me ever since the 5th grade all thanks to Mr. Carlisle. Growing up was a difficult thing for me, I was different from all of my cousins, I was bookish. I loved to read and it showed when everyone just sat around watching a movie, while I read a book in a corner of the living. I wasn't really like any of my female cousins, who loved to chat about boys, I preferred history and psychology. There were times where I despaired of ever fitting in, but my fiction companions always accompanied me on my most trying of journies. They were there when I first made true good friends and my best friends to this day. They were there when I first began to branch out into new areas. They have always been there when it was the worst of times and to this day. Another might laugh and say, "It's simply a story." And yet countless individuals believe in the Bible and countless other religious texts. What counts in the end is if that knowledge can be a source of hope. As Gandalf put it best, “Go where you must go, and hope!”

"Yours represents the ground, And yes your eyes are brown, But your eyes hold the riches, That are buried in the ground, Your eyes carry earthquakes, That bring mountains to their knees-," Nadia McGhee (2018). This poem is one of the nicest poems I have ever heard about brown-colored eyes. You see, I am rather fond of my brown-colored eyes. As I child, I began to lose my vision, but no one seemed to notice. It wasn't until the third grade that a nurse finally noticed and I was sent to the Optometrist. A good portion of my childhood is made up of blurry faces and images. I can still clearly recall the day I received my eyeglasses and all of a sudden my dull world became full of colors. Some of the children in school after that called me four-eyes, but I can honestly say I didn't care. I could see and that is all that matters to me even now. The power of sight is a gift that is often taken for granted and not appreciated for what it truly is. And so, you see, I truly do love these brown-colored eyes of mine. Because like the ground, they hold untold riches, and someday they will carry such power to carry earthquakes and bring mountains to their knees.

"If we want to change our story, then we need to change our stories-," Brad Barton. I had the privilege of hearing Brad Barton speak and this phrase has stuck with me ever since then. At that time, I had been stuck in a rut with my family and in my career. I felt that I was far more stressed, less kind, and far more judgemental than I had ever been despite my best efforts. At that moment, I had to ask myself if I liked my life story and where it was heading, and I realized that I didn't. At that moment, I put my life into respective. I was not happy at my job and I realized it was time to make a life change. I began to apply for other job positions and though I was discouraged countless times. Still, I persisted and I kept at it and at it until I find myself in my current position as Deputy Recorder. I am happy to report that I thoroughly enjoy my job. Yet in my own personal life, there still remained an imbalance. Against all odds, in the middle of a pandemic, I not only returned to school, but I sought to put my emotional and mental health in a better state. I have the Younique Foundation to thank for that, they helped me start breathing again with the scars that I bear. I can never express my gratitude enough for all that they have done. It is these glimpses of hope that have significantly altered my life forevermore.

I am the first female Hispanic Deputy Recorder in the City of Logan's Mayor Office. I have broken down the first barrier in my local municipality to show to the public we don't all have to look alike to serve. Many times, I feel that as children we don't believe in greater things, because we simply don't have a nearby example as that dream simply feels far too out of reach. I want to show that someone doesn't need to go to Washington D.C. or the state capital to have a direct impact on the community. On the contrary, it is the local officials that have a greater impact on the day-to-day lives of the community than those of the state or federal government. I want to be an example to my local community not just as a cultural role model but as a gender role model. The state of Utah happens to be one of the states with the least amount of female elected officials. There is a perception that female officials are not needed, but on the contrary, they are. It is female officials who bring up less thought of topics to the legislature. If there are not enough female voices in the legislature, our voices are more often than not stifilled. It is only by communicating our thoughts that we can have a continual impact on the generations and future to come.

As a child and all growing, my mother always said to me, "Studying is for you and not for me." I cannot express how much I hated to hear those words as a child and in my youth. It was a source of constant frustration to me because she would never say she was proud of my academic grades. Rather she would always ask if I was happy with them, and if I was that was enough for her. As I grew older, I grew to understand what she meant. I could choose the hard way to go to college or I could choose the easy way and get married. Now that is not to argue against the institute of marriage, but in my family and culture, typically women get married very young. I am the first in my to graduate from a University and I am the only person in my family to pursue a Master's degree. I am the strange female member in my family that my aunts and uncles don't know how to treat. I am not the black sheep more like I am the odd polka-dotted one. I will forever be grateful every day of my life for those words from my mother. As an adult woman, I elect to work and support myself independently without having being married. As a direct result of education, I can live a better life, but more importantly, I know my rights. I can elect to end a relationship and not feel as though I have let down my family. The ability to choose to be independent and rely solely on myself is a privilege that I have fought hard for and which I intend to keep.

It is a bold decision to elect not to engage in social media in this day in age, we are all so connected. I have elected to not have social media accounts like Twitter and more to be present in the movement. I have found that my emotional and mental well-being is that much healthier. I don't worry about whether my picture I liked or if I have enough followers. I instead choose to live boldly in my own life and as an active force in others. I elect to communicate and tell them how much they mean to me rather than simply using a happy or XOXO emoji con. In this day and age, I believe that people live less bold and are far more constrained because they feel forced to show a facade. Every moment of their lives is captured on screen, but yet I don't see happiness in those around me. I choose to be myself and even if that idea and decision is unpopular, I won't live less boldly for I am a dreamer, a quiet rebel.

Recently, I learned that we are all apples. Sounds strange, right, but that experience changed my entire outlook on how I look at people. I was asked to list all the things that can be done with apples and in the end, I had a list of over a hundred items and there was still plenty of more to add. Then I was asked to describe a bad day which I did. I was told that on those days we are all bruised just like apples, but if we cut the bad part off of the apple, we can still make something great out of that apple. No one is a rotten apple merely a bruised apple. That simple fundamental idea changed my entire outlook on life. Instead of being frustrated at individuals both at work and in my personal life, I stopped seeing them as rotten apples. Instead, I would find myself thinking, "Oh, she's a bit bruised today, okay. What can I make with that today?" I found myself reaching out to my family and others more looking past their bruised exterior. It has fundamentally granted me an entirely new perception change and one that I intend to keep.

Cynicism runs rampant throughout the world increasing with each passing year. It can even be argued that this essay is of no real worth, what can it possibly hope to accomplish or even change of real worth? And yet, one of my favorite quotes from Cloud Atlas comes to mind when it seems pointless to keep trying. An argument between a slave owner, father-in-law, and that of son-in-law, who finally gains the courage to become an abolitionist. “No matter what you do it will never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean.” “What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?” It is a firm reminder that though we may not see the fruits nor changes in our life that does not mean that we have not created nor caused a great change. With each action that I take, I can elect to influence the future for the better or for the worse. I can elect to serve my community as a public official despite never being thanked. I can elect to believe that humanity can grow to become something better. And I can elect to believe that I can cause real change in my own manner. Even if my actions only amount to a single drop, I can elect to believe that an ocean will one day be formed. “[For] what is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”

It takes courage to try and try again. Even now, I have happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who will never fully recover from the aftereffects of a spinal fusion. I have never considered taking care of my mother a hardship, but it certainly has been a period of adjustment. I suppose anyone else would have long given up on their education, but here I am trying again. I suppose it sounds crazy and even outrageous to an extent, but the pandemic provided the means for me to return to school to apply for a master’s program at Southern Utah University for a master’s degree in Public Administration. I don’t believe that under any other circumstances I would have been admitted or I would have had the nerve to attempt such an impossible feat in my eyes. With work and other responsibilities, I simply didn’t believe I could earn a master’s degree. Yet I found friends and family encouraging me to at least try. I will admit it, I rather half-heartedly filled out the paperwork. To my disbelief, I found that I was accepted into the master’s program at SUU. Even now, I still find that fact impossible to believe at times. I have fallen and tripped so many times in my life that I have developed an unhealthy level of cynicism at times. It hurts to fail, and it is exhausting to pick yourself back up and shake the dust off yourself. However, if we stop trying then what is there to hope for? It will always hurt to try, but it necessary to try and try again. Ignoring the various circumstances in my life, I am the first person in my family to attend college and graduate. My goal is to aid my local community by improving public service and improve further government transparency and efficiency. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. It may be madness to think that I should attempt such a feat and one may even argue that it is futile. However, even if my work in this lifetime only amounts to a single drop, I won’t be the only one. For there are hundreds, thousands of others who still strive to better and improve their communities. “For what is an ocean if not a multitude of drops.”

It is not a crime to be a Feminist. I have never considered myself as such before because the word Feminist is most often associated with a radical term of women. Yet upon closer observation, I realized that I shared many Feminist views even if I disagreed with others. The core value of Feminism is a belief in social, economic, and political equality of the sexes. In this and day of age, I have the right to an education, seek a divorce or custody of my children, and even the ability to serve in various positions in the government or in other employed areas that would have been otherwise closed off to me because of my gender as a woman. Still to this day, it seems to be a crime at times to ask for more equal rights because suddenly, we are considered liberal or radical. However, if we don’t speak about women's rights, we will always be left behind in the dust. Because who else will speak up for us if we don’t? Even now, a woman is paid less than a man for her work. Why should I not receive equal pay if I do the exact same amount of work as a man? It seems to be a commonsense principle and yet it seems to be a subject of great scandal to even suggest such a thing. To this day, a bill amending this previous law still cannot successfully be passed through the senate even in our modern-day era. These types of views are even more predominant in our immigrant communities. Out of my personal and extended family, I am the first to attend college and graduate. I am the strange black sheep in the family not because of my seeking an education, but rather because of my gender. All my younger female cousins of age are already married and with children with the exception of myself and my younger sister. Despite being born in the United States it never occurred to my female cousins to desire a further education or even a future that did not involve marriage and children. That is not to say that I look down upon their choice, but rather the fact that they never considered a possibility beyond that which was expected of them. A woman can get married, have a family and children all the while being able to afford higher education and a career. The only way to empower women is to show that a woman can fill such a role. In my local city community of Logan, Utah, Mayor Holly Daines is only one of two female mayors’ in the entire state of Utah. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my diverse heritage ranging from wide European ancestries to Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. To be a woman and role model doesn’t mean giving up what we are or believe in, but rather showing the world all that we represent. One does not need to march in the streets or be loud to make a difference for that is what many seem to believe that Feminism is all about. All women are Feminists by nature whether they realize it or not as we seek equal rights in our own manner. True change and women empowerment begins right in our homes and in our local communities.

The courage to change and make something different and beautiful out of something difficult. This picture seems rather ordinary, but it symbolizes, the courage of my mother to small things for herself despite being in pain. It is my bold suggestion to keep a small Christmas tree up and decorate it for every holiday and month. It may be strange and even unusual, but it takes courage to communicate ideas to those we love. If we never say anything then we can never change anything. It is the little things that make the biggest differences.

Mr. Carlisle, my fifth-grade teacher inspired me to reach for the stars as he so bluntly put it. He was rather short and thin with a head full of silver hair. Now, Mr. Carlisle was no ordinary teacher, he wore blue, white-washed jeans straight out of the 70s with long-sleeve button-up shirts. He always ingrained into us that we have a responsibility to vote when the time came because it was the only manner to ensure that our voices were heard and counted. He ingrained into us at an early age the importance of civic service and participation. But above all to always maintain a love for learning and imagination. It is there that I discovered my love and passion for literature works through the words of J.K.K. Tolkien, “Lord of the Rings.” As a result, I became the first person in my family to attend college and graduate with an English degree. I was often scoffed at for my selection of a degree as I was told I could only be an editor or a teacher with that type of degree. It is sad to say, but as a whole degrees in the humanity of arts are most often looked down upon as mere paper degrees. It is rather ironic, but I have one of the most diverse careers amongst my friends, who have graduated from universities. Unlike them, I have worked in a wide variety of fields from Human Resources, Finances, Customer Service including the Medical Industry. My English degree prepared me to amply work in a diverse work environment by engraining communication and research skills into me. Where others found it hard to put together presentations, I had been taught how to research for information and present it in an easily understood manner. And far more importantly taught me the fact that I enjoy serving others. I am grateful that I found a perfect fit working in the current city that I serve in. My goal is to serve further in my local community as a public officer. Not only do I want to aid the City and my local community by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. By gaining a master’s degree in Public Administration. I want to ensure and use all the skills at my disposal to create more public trust and awareness in their local government. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future as Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. It may be madness to think that I should keep trying and one may even argue that it is futile to think that I can change anything. However, even if my work in this lifetime only amounts to a single drop, I won’t be the only one. For there are hundreds, thousands of others who still strive to better and improve their communities. “For what is an ocean if not a multitude of drops.” And just like Mr. Carlisle as long as I change or impact the life of another then I will have considered all of my efforts well worth it.

The word legacy means, "the act of transmitting," something to another. My mother and grandmother have both been an inspiration for strong women, a legacy in my life. My maternal grandmother passed away when I was only thirteen years of age. I loved my grandmother was one of the strongest women I've ever known. She was lame in one leg, but that never stopped her from moving on ahead in life. She taught me to keep going even when we are in pain and which helped me to endure some of the worst aspects of my life including surviving sexual childhood abuse. I still have emotional and mental scars from that period in my life, but I've learned to be proud of those scars that I bear. I'm not perfect nor normal in some aspects, but I am a survivor, a warrior that has survived the worst this world has to offer. As a result, I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I have more than happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion and whose health has only deteriorated with the passing of time. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship rather a blessing. If anything I have been inspired with awe at seeing her proudly carry forth even when she is in so much pain is a blessing in my life that continues to inspire me to this day. I enjoy serving others and have served in various positions until I found a perfect fit in the current city that I serve in. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box. So when someone asks me, what kind of legacy I want to leave behind. I like to say that I was able to serve with a smile helping to make the world a better place. That even if my actions were only a single droplet in the ocean, it was a drop that came together with countless others to form an ocean. It is only when we give and stop trying that is when we are considered to have failed.

I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I have more than happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion and whose health has only deteriorated with the passing of time. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, because I don't want to regret the time that I did not spend time with her. If anything watching her proudly carry forth even when she is in so much pain is a blessing in my life that continues to inspire me to this day. As a result, I have always enjoyed serving others and have served in a variety of positions until I found a perfect fit in the current city that I serve in. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box. So when someone asks what do I fight for, well, I fight for me and everyone. I can't promise to fix everything, but I can make a change here and now. I can make every day count and that it is a promise.

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien is a series close to my heart. Mind you the movie isn't anywhere near as perfect as the book, but still, it was the first book series that grabbed my soul. I have my 5th-grade teacher, Mr. Carlisle to thank for that. An elderly man in blue white-washed jeans of the '70s. But still, he allowed us to be transported elsewhere to another realm, and for that, I will forever be grateful to him. Beyond the excellent acting, the cinematic portrayal, and gorgeous music, it is the very characters that made me love Lord of the Rings that much more. Among friends, there have been many arguments made about who was the true hero of the film whether it was Frodo or Sam, or some other passing character. However, I have always liked to think that they were all the heroes of their own story. If even one single character had been missing, the quest to destroy the ring of Sauron would have failed, and all would have been for naught. I think that we sometimes forget that we are the main protagonists in our own lives and that is why the film is such a stark reminder. It is we who decide whether we elect to be heroes or villains. We may think that we are simple passerby's like Gollum, but ultimately we affect the lives of others and in turn those around us. For it was Gollum for better or for worse that decided the fate of the middle kingdom.

My artistic ambition is to share one single message and that is to serve. I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I have more than happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion and whose health has only deteriorated with the passing of time. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, because I don't want to regret the time that I did not spend time with her. If anything watching her proudly carry forth even when she is in so much pain is a blessing in my life that continues to inspire me to this day. I enjoy serving others and have served in various positions until I found a perfect fit in the current city that I serve in. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box. So when someone asks what do I fight for, well, I fight for me and everyone. I can't promise to fix everything, but I can make a change here and now. I can make every day count and that it is a promise.

Death and I have become very good friends at this point in my life. When I was in the second grade, I lost my first friend, her name was Kelsie. She died during her sleep, unable to breathe. I didn't understand death truly then, but I knew that she had gone away and wouldn't be coming back ever again. However, she taught me that there is beauty in the world and it is never truly gone. Fall was her favorite time of year and even now I still smile and love to see the trees change their colors. They remind me of her and they always seem to bring a smile to my face. No matter how bad my day be going, it serves as a reminder that there is hope still to be found. The second great loss in my life was my maternal grandmother, she died when I was thirteen years of age. I loved my grandmother, she was so stubborn, but she was the strongest woman I've ever known. She was lame in one leg, but that never stopped her from moving on ahead in life. She taught me to keep going even when we are in pain and which helped me to endure some of the worst aspects in my life including surviving sexual childhood abuse. I still have emotional and mental scars from that period in my life, but I've learned to be proud of those scars that I bear. I'm not perfect nor normal in some aspects, but I am a survivor, a warrior that has survived the worst this world has to offer. The third loss which hurts even to this day is that of my high school best friend, Jacob P. He was a sweet boy, a bit of a loner at times, but he was so ever brilliant. I wish I can say I was a good friend, but I tend to lose track of time easily and put off reaching out to those close to me until it is too late. I kept putting off reaching out to him which turned into years. Then one day I asked a friend and I asked about Jacob only to learn that Jacob had hung himself over a year ago. It still hurts to breathe when I think of it. I should have reached out, but I didn't. I regret that I couldn't even take five minutes to look up his information, it wouldn't have taken me long on social media. But I didn't, now he is gone, and I can't tell him how much I miss him and how I wished I could have told him so. So, I promised myself that day to never regret again, and that I would make my actions count to those that I truly cared for. As a result, I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I have more than happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion and whose health has only deteriorated with the passing of time. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, because I don't want to regret the time that I did not spend time with her. If anything watching her proudly carry forth even when she is in so much pain is a blessing in my life that continues to inspire me to this day. I enjoy serving others and have served in various positions until I found a perfect fit in the current city that I serve in. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box. So when someone asks what do I fight for, well, I fight for me and everyone. I can't promise to fix everything, but I can make a change here and now. I am an advocate that will make every day count.

I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, but there was a period of adjustment. I am at the point in my life where I can balance my many responsibilities and resume my education. As the new Logan City Deputy Recorder, I will be one of the few individuals in upper management with a B.A. degree and one of the rare few to earn a second university degree. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. I am still relatively new at my position and I have a long way to go. I don't want to wait 10 years to learn what can be learned in a specific program education in a process of two years. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box.

I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from a college. I happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, but there was a period of adjustment. I am at the point in my life where I can balance my many responsibilities and resume my education. As the new Logan City Deputy Recorder, I will be one of the few individuals in upper management with a B.A. degree and one of the rare few to earn a second university degree. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. I am still relatively new at my position and I have a long way to go. I don't want to wait 10 years to learn what can be learnt in a specific program education in a process of two years. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box.

I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from a college. I happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, but there was a period of adjustment. I am at the point in my life where I can balance my many responsibilities and resume my education. As the new Logan City Deputy Recorder, I will be one of the few individuals in upper management with a B.A. degree and one of the rare few to earn a second university degree. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. I am still relatively new at my position and I have a long way to go. I don't want to wait 10 years to learn what can be learnt in a specific program education in a process of two years. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box.

I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from a college. I happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, but there was a period of adjustment. I am at the point in my life where I can balance my many responsibilities and resume my education. As the new Logan City Deputy Recorder, I will be one of the few individuals in upper management with a B.A. degree and one of the rare few to earn a second university degree. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. I am still relatively new at my position and I have a long way to go. I don't want to wait 10 years to learn what can be learned in a specific program education in a process of two years. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box.

There is a stigma in immigrant communities about mental health. My parents both immigrated to the United States when I was born. I remember ever since I was a small child being told that it was a weakness to cry. Maybe, it was, but at least I always found it cathartic. And that is also when I was sexually abused by a relative that I never said anything to my parents or anyone. To cope with sexual abuse, most of my memories are repressed to this day, but there are still a few left that cut into the very fabric of my soul. As a direct result, I suffered from severe depression and deeply suicidal thoughts in my teens. I used to imagine stepping in front of a car and just having it all end. But I didn't and I like to think that is the part of me that wanted to live, and for which I am grateful too. Still unable to cope with the limited memories that I maintained, I dissociated all emotions to the point that I truly could not feel emotions beyond a general sense of coolness. My suppressed emotions built and built until finally they exploded and I had to seek out help. I was so ashamed to seek out mental health for myself. I hated myself for showing this weak part of myself to anyone. I was blessed to meet, Courtney, she helped me learn that it was not a sign of being crazy nor a sign of weakness. Rather it was a sign of courage for me to seek out help despite feeling so very venerable. I learned to feel again, which by the way is extremely painful, but beautiful. Life is dull otherwise, and I had lived for a third of life in a gray-colored world. I gained the courage to tell my parents, who were a bit aghast more so my father. He simply could not believe the truth of the matter, but then again, after seeing his reaction, I recognized the emotion on his face. He too was a victim of child abuse but refused to acknowledge it. It is painful to watch our loved ones live in such a manner, but the first part is admitting that we need help. I am happy to say that I've encouraged my inner family to seek help after seen signs of depression in them or anger. I haven't had much success, beyond my own sister and a few cousins. I am still the strange one in the family that talks about having seeing a mental health professional and strongly advocates their use. However, my hope is that little by little, it will become easier. And that by changing the minds of a few of the family, in turn, I will have changed a small part of the future immigrant community. I have my good and bad days. I have more good days than bad, but on my bad days, I still hear a small whisper in the back of my head telling me that I am not worth living. I have to keep a firm perceptive in mind that today is just a bad day, and tomorrow will be better. I still feel uncomfortable being touched, and I still can't form a healthy romantic relationship. It is frustrating at times for me, but I also understand that is part of me. I may not be pretty to look at, and I have plenty of battle scars, but I am a survivor. I am still here, and that is what counts.

Gather round, children, and I will tell you of the year, 2020. T'was a year like any other until the Tides of March came-, We too were stabbed in the back and found slain, on untidy carpets of the living room floor. And so we lived for many a month, stuck inside with nothing but Netflix to watch, Ergo, the Crown, if I hear one more word, I might just scream off with their heads! We learned to knit, that did not last-, to paint, until the fumes near did us in, to cook, and now fifteen pounds larger, to talk, we rediscovered strangers. A precious treasure, lost, stolen, we found friends, family, and much, much, more. It was as though we had slumbered for many a year, under a thorny curse, awaiting release, Awakened again, we slumbered no more. We learned to talk, to laugh, to smile, to see, and mostly to set our phones aside. Dear children, It was the most terrible of times, but it was the best of times, so do not weep nor mourn for us, we lost naught, rather regained that which we sought. Dear children, we would gladly embark on this mad quest, again. To simply be, that which we are, Today.

There is a stigma in immigrant communities about mental health. My parents both immigrated to the United States when I was born. I remember ever since I was a small child being told that it was a weakness to cry. Maybe, it was, but at least I always found it cathartic. And that is also when I was sexually abused by a relative that I never said anything to my parents or anyone. To cope with sexual abuse, most of my memories are repressed to this day, but there are still a few left that cut into the very fabric of my soul. As a direct result, I suffered from severe depression and deeply suicidal thoughts in my teens. I used to imagine stepping in front of a car and just having it all end. But I didn't and I like to think that is the part of me that wanted to live, and for which I am grateful too. Still unable to cope with the limited memories that I maintained, I dissociated all emotions to the point that I truly could not feel emotions beyond a general sense of coolness. My suppressed emotions built and built until finally they exploded and I had to seek out help. I was so ashamed to seek out mental health for myself. I hated myself for showing this weak part of myself to anyone. I was blessed to meet, Courtney, she helped me learn that it was not a sign of being crazy nor a sign of weakness. Rather it was a sign of courage for me to seek out help despite feeling so very venerable. I learned to feel again, which by the way is extremely painful, but beautiful. Life is dull otherwise, and I had lived for a third of life in a gray-colored world. I gained the courage to tell my parents, who were a bit aghast more so my father. He simply could not believe the truth of the matter, but then again, after seeing his reaction, I recognized the emotion on his face. He too was a victim of child abuse but refused to acknowledge it. It is painful to watch our loved ones live in such a manner, but the first part is admitting that we need help. I am happy to say that I've encouraged my inner family to seek help after seen signs of depression in them or anger. I haven't had much success, beyond my own sister and a few cousins. I am still the strange one in the family that talks about having to see a mental health professional and strongly advocates their use. However, my hope is that little by little, it will become easier. And that by changing the minds of a few of the family, in turn, I will have changed a small part of the future immigrant community. I have my good and bad days. I have more good days than bad, but on my bad days, I still hear a small whisper in the back of my head telling me that I am not worth living. I have to keep a firm perceptive in mind that today is just a bad day, and tomorrow will be better. I still feel uncomfortable being touched, and I still can't form a healthy romantic relationship. It is frustrating at times for me, but I also understand that is part of me. I may not be pretty to look at, and I have plenty of battle scars, but I am a survivor. I am still here, and that is what counts.

There is a stigma in immigrant communities about mental health. My parents both immigrated to the United States when I was born. I remember ever since I was a small child being told that it was a weakness to cry. Maybe, it was, but at least I always found it cathartic. And that is also when I was sexually abused by a relative that I never said anything to my parents or anyone. To cope with sexual abuse, most of my memories are repressed to this day, but there are still a few left that cut into the very fabric of my soul. As a direct result, I suffered from severe depression and deeply suicidal thoughts in my teens. I used to imagine stepping in front of a car and just having it all end. But I didn't and I like to think that is the part of me that wanted to live, and for which I am grateful too. Still unable to cope with the limited memories that I maintained, I dissociated all emotions to the point that I truly could not feel emotions beyond a general sense of coolness. My suppressed emotions built and built until finally they exploded and I had to seek out help. I was so ashamed to seek out mental health for myself. I hated myself for showing this weak part of myself to anyone. I was blessed to meet, Courtney, she helped me learn that it was not a sign of being crazy nor a sign of weakness. Rather it was a sign of courage for me to seek out help despite feeling so very venerable. I learned to feel again, which by the way is extremely painful, but beautiful. Life is dull otherwise, and I had lived for a third of life in a gray-colored world. I gained the courage to tell my parents, who were a bit aghast more so my father. He simply could not believe the truth of the matter, but then again, after seeing his reaction, I recognized the emotion on his face. He too was a victim of child abuse but refused to acknowledge it. It is painful to watch our loved ones live in such a manner, but the first part is admitting that we need help. I am happy to say that I've encouraged my inner family to seek help after seen signs of depression in them or anger. I haven't had much success, beyond my own sister and a few cousins. I am still the strange one in the family that talks about having seeing a mental health professional and strongly advocates their use. However, my hope is that little by little, it will become easier. And that by changing the minds of a few of the family, in turn, I will have changed a small part of the future immigrant community.

I always have to ask is what is the definition of mental illness, and what I mean by that is that everyone at some part in their lives has been touched by it. On a personal level, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. For the longest time, I lived in shame, anger, and even denial of what had occured. It interrupted my life in every aspect possible and to this day I still am uncomfortable being touched. I had severe depression in my teen year, which even led to frequent sucidial thoughts. The only way to deal with the issue at that point as I trusted no one was by complete and utter emotional dissociation. I lived in a dull world where I didn't experience strong emotions including joy, happiness, or anything really. I did not have the courage to seek out help until I was at a university level when everything just exploded. To this day, I still battle with many of the effects of my childhood abuse, dissociation tendencies, and occasional suicidal thoughts. I am far from perfect, but I have learned that it is okay to have bad days and I have more good days than bad. When those bad days come I've learned to tell myself, yes, that little voice is strong today, but I am stronger, and tomorrow will be a much better day. By openly speaking about the use of seeing proper health professionals, I genuinely hope that the stigma to seek mental help will go away. It's just like when someone gets a broken bone, you go to the doctor to get it fixed. Well, the same applies to seeing mental health professionals. Sometimes your mind gets hurt and it needs a doctor's help to start the healing process. It is not a sign of weakness to seek out help, but rather a sign of courage. The first step to getting better is to ask for help. No one can offer to help if one never asks for help. And so I like countless others am willing to listen, please speak.

Please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Esli Morales. I am the first person in my family to go to college and graduate from college. I happily put my education, work, and life on hold several times to take care of my mother, who never fully recovered after a spinal fusion. I do not consider taking care of my mother a hardship, but there was a period of adjustment. I am at the point in my life where I can balance my many responsibilities and resume my education. As the new Logan City Deputy Recorder, I will be one of the few individuals in upper management with a B.A. degree and one of the rare few to earn a second university degree. Not only do I want to aid the City by improving public service, but I want to use all the skills at my disposal to create further government transparency and improve efficiency in work-related fields. I am still relatively new at my position and I have a long way to go. I don't want to wait 10 years to learn what can be learned in a specific program education in a process of two years. It is a necessary investment for a brighter future. Utah already has a low percentage of women in government positions, and I would very much like to change that. I am a minority by default of my gender and even more so by the fact that I am considered ethnically Hispanic. I have always been proud of my heritage, my parents inspired pride in our various and many European ancestries including Native American, African, and Jewish ancestry. Our family itself is a product of many cultures, not just one and I feel that is what our nation. We can be many things all at once and cannot be classified into a mere box.