When I was in first or second grade, my dad got us involved in bell ringing for the Salvation Army. This has become our holiday tradition together; we stand outside of Kroger and he rings the bell while I play the violin spreading Christmas cheer to the community. This was my first experience with community service and I have fallen in love with volunteering ever since. Over the last four years alone I have volunteered over 500 hours within the Lynchburg community. My service has contributed to numerous food and resource drives, organizing multiple musical events, providing tutoring, ensuring access to library programs, and more. Volunteering has shaped me into the person I am today and has even helped me choose what I want to do with my life. My experiences with volunteering at the library and volunteering with the music programs within Lynchburg City Schools helped inspire me to want to study music education. I have gotten to work closely with educators around the city and watching their dedication to their students has been incredibly inspiring due to the impact education has on our communities. Moments like watching the kids have “lightbulb” moments where they finally understand or being able to be there and support students when they are struggling have made me really appreciate all the time and dedication my teachers have put into me. I want to be able to provide this support and these opportunities to my students. With the support and guidance from the Lynchburg City Schools music programs, I was given the opportunity to plan two charity concerts. My first charity concert came during the height of the pandemic. For the first time in years, my classmates and I did not have our annual Christmas Concert. With this, I decided to plan a benefit concert and collaborate with Key Club International and the Kiwanis Family to raise money for UNICEF’s efforts against Neonatal and Maternal Tetanus. During my senior year, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and to honor her, I decided to plan a second concert, this time to raise money for a local cancer organization. My efforts raised over $500 for the organization and have gone towards promoting awareness and testing around breast and other cancers. These service experiences have helped shape me not only as a student but as a person. Without them, I would never have thought about going into music education. It has also given me a deeper sense of empathy. Getting to work this closely not only with students, but my teachers has allowed me to see what really goes on behind the scenes. From the late nights on competition days to the hours of work that go into planning our big events, and the endless meetings with administration advocating for us, it has given me a new appreciation for everything my teachers do for me. Now I study music education at Shenandoah Conservatory and will teach and perform full-time after graduation thanks to these community experiences.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness and my perhaps my biggest challenge in pursuing my degree. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had/have to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have come a long way in learning how to balance my chronic illnesses while being a full-time student. I have been diagnosed with a variety of conditions including dysautonomia, Fibromyalgia, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal about the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. With this, I’ve become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. I often have twelve hours of classes and rehearsals with little breaks and at times, my degree path can be very physically and mentally intense. While it may seem counterintuitive to continue, I love teaching and getting to work with children with my entire heart. Watching those “Aha!” moments, seeing the excitement, and witnessing students experience the joy of learning music make all of the struggles worth it. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic toward others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. As a future educator, the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. My students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together. After higher education, I plan on teaching and performing full-time as well as working to make the field of music education more accessible for all students.

Throughout my education, the teachers that have always been there for me have been my music teachers. The support and encouragement they have given me have shaped me into the person I am today and without my music teachers, I would not be here. Their passion and dedication have inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This also helps students learn healthier coping mechanisms such as using music as a stress reliever. My classroom will be a safe space where every student knows they are valued and is able to have the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and relatable so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. Another thing that inspires me to teach is the rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle the idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness and my perhaps my biggest challenge in pursuing my degree. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had/have to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have come a long way in learning how to balance my chronic illnesses while being a full-time student. I have been diagnosed with a variety of conditions including dysautonomia, Fibromyalgia, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal about the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. With this, I’ve become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. I often have twelve hours of classes and rehearsals with little breaks and at times, my degree path can be very physically and mentally intense. While it may seem counterintuitive to continue, I love teaching and getting to work with children with my entire heart. Watching those “Aha!” moments, seeing the excitement, and witnessing students experience the joy of learning music make all of the struggles worth it. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic toward others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. As a future educator, the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. My students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together.

The teacher who has inspired me the most over the last thirteen years has been Mrs. Ginger Paris. She was my first-ever violin teacher and I worked with her for six years before going to middle school. Even after I left, she continued to keep in touch with me, bring me along with her to concerts, and allowed me to learn more about music education. Mrs. Paris has been with my school system for over 40 years and has taught thousands of students over her time here in Lynchburg. She is constantly going above and beyond to help her students succeed in whatever they dream of. Whenever I have good news or need a shoulder to cry on, I call her. She always knows the best way to comfort me and is not afraid to let me know when I need to change the way I am doing something. Her passion and dedication have inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music is a great way for students to learn healthier coping mechanisms. This can be done through playing instruments to express your emotions, writing music that reflects your experiences, and exploring options like music therapy. I have found developing these skills to be crucial as there is a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. This has become a major factor in why I want to become a teacher. This also inspires me to make my classroom a safe space for my students where they are valued and loved regardless of their abilities. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. I also want to become a teacher so I can give students the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. In the last thirteen years, I have only studied one composer who I related to. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and inclusive so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow. Without Mrs. Paris's support, I would have never realized my passion for music and for teaching and I am forever grateful for her encouragement.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including dysautonomia, Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal about the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic toward others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have been working on this by asking for help with smaller tasks like getting food, reaching out for accommodations, and letting go of the idea of things always having to be perfect. Currently, I am studying music education at Shenandoah University and the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. My students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together. Furthermore, I have continued to achieve despite my illnesses and have planned two charity concerts, participated in numerous extracurriculars, and have been an active member of my community.

While it may sound cheesy, one way I have grown over the past year is by realizing my worth. I realized that I deserve the opportunities I am presented with and that I am more capable than I think I am. This growth was inspired by me starting my bachelor’s degree and breaking up with my long-term partner who I had outgrown. Throughout my relationship, I noticed I was settling for the bare minimum and having to beg to be treated the way I wanted to be treated. I realized it was not “needy” of me to want to be asked about my day, or for him to plan dates. Even though our relationship did not end up working out, I still learned a ton. There are people that will treat me the way I want to be treated and I deserve the same love I give to others. I have found that this personal growth has made me more confident and allowed me to work through my anxieties about my abilities, whether it be musical or academic. While I have maintained my core identity, I feel like I have entered almost a new “era” of myself. I have been able to give myself the love I was missing by checking in with my feelings, allowing myself to realize when a situation (romantic or otherwise) is no longer serving me, recognizing that my time and energy are valuable assets, resting and taking care of myself even if I feel like I do not “deserve” it, and celebrating my own successes more. My life also feels more balanced, I am not overworking myself as much and am able to realize more easily when I am falling into old habits. This has allowed me to communicate my needs more clearly and to actually express my emotions instead of bottling them up. Sometimes, you just have to lay on the floor and cry for a bit but you have to know when to get back up and dust yourself off. While I have always been very career and goal-oriented, I have learned that grades and failure are not the end of the world. I am still a straight-A student, but I no longer meltdown if I receive a B or C on an assignment or if I disappoint a teacher. Through this I have also learned not to take others' emotions personally, while someone may be upset with me, I still deserve to be treated with respect. I realize I cannot change the past but I can be more mindful going forward and know that I made the best decision I could with the information/resources I had at the time. Additionally, my mental health has improved exponentially and I am really proud to admit that I have not been suicidal in over a year now. I am excited to wake up every day and I look to the future with enthusiasm and curiosity rather than anxiety and dread. Obviously, there are still hard days, but now they feel more manageable and I no longer immediately decide that life is “bad”. This is ultimately what I have learned through my journey of self-discovery: life is full of balance and nuance. I can be successful without burning myself out, I can rest even if my work is not fully finished, and I can enjoy things just because they are fun. Finding a balance between the extremes has led to extreme growth and peace for me and I am so thankful for the personal growth that has gotten me to this point.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. This journey has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. The lessons I’ve learned through this process have helped me to be a better person by allowing me to advocate for myself and helping me to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have learned that they don’t have to feel that guilt and the need to suffer in silence. This experience of my diagnosis process has been hard but I have learned valuable lessons that will stick with and better me for years to come.

When I was younger, I thought independence meant eating ice cream for breakfast or buying all the stuffed animals I could ever want. While yes, these are perks of independence and my stuffed animal collection is thriving, I’ve realized my independence has actually become my weakness. This may seem counterintuitive but I had to grow up faster than my classmates due to a variety of family factors so I learned to rely solely on myself and not depend on those around me for help or guidance. As I’ve aged, I have had difficulty with things like reaching out for help or trusting others to do their parts in a project. Through therapy and finding safe people to learn this trust through, I have been able to move back into a healthier range of being independent. To me, the meaning of independence has changed to involve allowing others into my life and knowing when to trust myself versus when to trust others. Finding this balance has allowed me to be happier and healthier overall and this allows me to be more present and fulfilled in the things I do.

My favorite piece of art is the intersection between art and music. Chriden Art produces their artwork through E.E.G. maps made from the reaction of his brainwaves to the music they listen to. My favorite of these prints is the one where they listened to Ribs by Lorde. This is one of my favorite songs as it perfectly captures both the sadness and excitement of growing up. The colors in this print are filled with purple and pinks with lots of explosions and sweeps of color which is exactly what I feel when I listen to Ribs. The contrasts between the white and the dark purple really encapsulate the feeling of growing old to me. The dark purple shows the fear, anxiety, and just the idea of the unknown after high school while the white shows the excitement and passion I have about going to college and starting my life. The concept of making art from your brainwaves is fascinating to me and it inspires me to look further into the connections that can be made between art, science, and music.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic toward others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue and I often contemplated suicide. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have been working on this by asking for help with smaller tasks like getting food, reaching out for accommodations, and letting go of the idea of things always having to be perfect. It has also inspired me to speak out about my experiences so others don't have to feel that isolation. Thankfully, my music directors were always there to cheer me on and support me no matter what I was going through. These relationships with my music directors saved my life and have inspired me to go into education. After high school, I plan to study music education and the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. I want my students to know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together.

Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in music has allowed me to experience so many incredible opportunities that I would have never imagined if I hadn’t joined music. If my younger self could see everything I’ve achieved, everywhere I’ve traveled, and the people I’ve met in music, she would be so proud. She dreamt of being a teacher or a conductor and I can proudly say I have done both. I teach private lessons to individual students and regularly have the opportunity to conduct my school orchestra. Through music, I have made friendships that have lasted over a decade, met my significant other, and have gained many mentors. I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing instructors that have left a lasting impact on me not only as a musician but as a person. While these all are wonderful things, the biggest impact music has had on me is how much it has improved my mental health. My directors have always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. Without the Lynchburg City Schools (LCS) music program, I may not have been here to write this essay. Throughout the years, I’ve struggled greatly with my mental and physical health. Over the last two years, I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses as well as mental disorders. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. My illnesses make it hard to play my instruments and while heartbreaking for me, my music directors have never once made me feel less or like a bad musician because of it. They've always cheered me on and encouraged me to pursue my dreams, no matter how far-fetched they may seem. Their support has been vital to me throughout high school and has kept me showing up and pulled me out of some really dark places. After high school, I plan to study music education so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. The dedication of my teachers has inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and relatable so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. I have also found a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces and want to work to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect. In conclusion, I wish to teach instrumental music to create a community of healthier musicians as well as to give students a supportive environment to grow. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music programs have on our lives. While there are many academic benefits to studying music, to me, it is a source of joy, and no matter how I’m feeling, there is always a piece of music that I can relate to or turn to for comfort. Music is in almost every aspect of our lives, from radio shows to film scores and everything in between. Without it and the support of the people I’ve met through music, I would not be alive today.

The song that inspires me most is Lili Boulanger's Nocturne and Cortege. While this may not fit your traditional definition of a song, this piece has greatly inspired me as a musician and educator. One afternoon I was sitting in my violin lesson with my teacher and mentioned how sometimes I get bored of studying the same old, dead, white men who dominate the classical field. Don't get me wrong, I love their works, but it gets tiring not being represented. My teacher encouraged me to research a new piece to study and down I went into the Google rabbit hole of female composers. There are many female composers, but I didn't feel a connection with any of them until I found Lili Boulanger. Boulanger was chronically ill like I am and finally having someone who I relate to in classical music was a breath of fresh air. This has inspired me to diversify the composers I study as well as the composers I teach. I want my future classroom to be decorated with pictures of composers of all backgrounds and I want my students to play works by those composers. This idea of being able to prevent my future students from that feeling of disconnect from classical is incredibly inspiring to me and I am so excited to begin my journey into music education. The Lili Boulanger Nocturne is the song that has inspired me most and I am forever grateful that my teacher challenged me to seek out new composers. The link I have attached is a video of me performing this work!

I am passionate about becoming a teacher because of the passion of the teachers who taught me. The teacher who has inspired me the most over the last thirteen years has been Mrs. Ginger Paris. She was my first ever violin teacher and I worked with her for six years before going to middle school. Even after I left, she continued to keep in touch with me, bring me along with her to concerts, and allowed me to learn more about music education. Mrs. Paris has been with my school system for over 40 years and has taught thousands of students over her time here in Lynchburg. She is constantly going above and beyond to help her students succeed in whatever they dream of. Whenever I have good news or need a shoulder to cry on, I call her. She always knows the best way to comfort me and is not afraid to let me know when I need to change the way I am doing something. Her passion and dedication have inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music is a great way for students to learn healthier coping mechanisms. This can be done through playing instruments to express your emotions, writing music that reflects your experiences, and exploring options like music therapy. I have found developing these skills to be crucial as there is a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. This has become a major factor in why I want to become a teacher. This also inspires me to make my classroom a safe space for my students where they are valued and loved regardless of their abilities. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. I also want to become a teacher so I can give students the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. In the last thirteen years, I have only studied one composer who I related to. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and inclusive so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow. Without Mrs. Paris's support, I would have never realized my passion for music and for teaching and I am forever grateful for her encouragement.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic towards others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue and I often contemplated suicide. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have been working on this by asking for help with smaller tasks like getting food, reaching out for accommodations, and letting go of the idea of things always having to be perfect. It has also inspired me to speak out about my experiences so others don't have to feel that isolation. After high school, I plan to study music education and the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. I want my students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, find happiness in the smallest of things, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This optimism allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms while still finding joy in the little things no matter how dark things got.

I love how soft I am. Growing up, I was told that I needed to toughen up and I have always been seen as the goodie two shoes. This is something I internalized, don't cry, don't make a scene, just stay in your place and be quiet. This continued until I was in high school when I realized, the world is already a scary place. Being angry and closed-off takes so much energy and isn't the act of resistance I once thought it was. Allowing myself to be "soft" and sensitive, has allowed me to take so much more joy in everything I do. Being "soft" and letting myself cry and have emotions and speak up has allowed me to have more vulnerable relationships and led to becoming a more authentic version of myself. It allows me to be empathetic and to see the world from different perspectives. Being soft allows me to be easily impressed by everything, no matter how big or small. It's a way of bringing more joy into my life and allowing that little girl who had to grow up too quickly to be a child again. This softness has been incredibly healing and it is something I will always love about myself and strive to nurture.

I am an introvert-in-the-grocery-store's worst nightmare. I will talk to anyone and everyone because you never know what someone is going through and I try to be as kind as possible to everyone I meet. One way I do this is by complimenting at least three different people every time I leave the house. I usually try to go beyond the obvious like their hair or shirt and try to look for something more special to them, like a piece of jewelry or a tattoo. As I said, you never know what someone is going through. I know there have been times where I have been in a very dark place but maybe a stranger complimented my outfit or my personality and it makes the world feel a little warmer and more positive. I know how I feel when complimented so I try to express the same to others, you never know what a small act of kindness could do! It has also led to interesting conversations and many of my friendships. I've gotten to hear so many cool stories about where someone got their pants, the meaning behind a certain tattoo, and how much someone meant to another person. I've learned about couples who have been married for decades, teachers who have impacted a student's life forever, and so much more. Most of my friendships have started because of this method, once I compliment them, we end up chatting and while sometimes the friendship may be short-lived, I still appreciate the time they were in my life.

The audience holds their breath, waiting for the orchestra to come to life. I am standing on the podium with my hands raised, the stage lights illuminating my score. I give the prep beat and the orchestra awakens at my command, music filling the recital hall. The musicians move to the beat of my baton, losing themselves in the music leaving everything they have on stage. This would be my dream life: conducting professional orchestras. I have always loved watching conductors, the way they move, and how the orchestra follows. I have had the opportunity to conduct my school orchestras on several occasions and every time, it just feels right and like what I'm supposed to be doing. Besides my career, I would love to own a little apartment with my significant other and build a life with love peeking through every corner. We would have a little orange cat and we'd spend our Saturdays snuggling in bed, enjoying our time together after a hectic week. I want my life to be peaceful and I want to love my life no matter how bleak things may seem. Eventually, I would like to have a lush garden filled with flowers and fresh fruits. I would have a screened-in porch where I could watch thunderstorms while cozied up with a good book and a cup of tea. This is my dream and while it may seem simple, I want to enjoy everything life has to offer, especially the little moments of calm.

The teacher who has inspired me the most over the last thirteen years has been Mrs. Ginger Paris. She was my first ever violin teacher and I worked with her for six years before going to middle school. Even after I left, she continued to keep in touch with me, bring me along with her to concerts, and allowed me to learn more about music education. Mrs. Paris has been with my school system for over 40 years and has taught thousands of students over her time here in Lynchburg. She is constantly going above and beyond to help her students succeed in whatever they dream of. Whenever I have good news or need a shoulder to cry on, I call her. She always knows the best way to comfort me and is not afraid to let me know when I need to change the way I am doing something. Her passion and dedication have inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music is a great way for students to learn healthier coping mechanisms. This can be done through playing instruments to express your emotions, writing music that reflects your experiences, and exploring options like music therapy. I have found developing these skills to be crucial as there is a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. This has become a major factor in why I want to become a teacher. This also inspires me to make my classroom a safe space for my students where they are valued and loved regardless of their abilities. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. I also want to become a teacher so I can give students the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. In the last thirteen years, I have only studied one composer who I related to. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and inclusive so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow. Without Mrs. Paris's support, I would have never realized my passion for music and for teaching and I am forever grateful for her encouragement.

Since the No Child Left Behind legislation passed in 2002, there has been an emphasis on preparing children to excel in standardized testing and getting them into college. This has come at the detriment of cultural arts programs, specifically music, which are either cut entirely from the curriculum or severely underfunded. Studies have shown that music classes have several benefits academically including things like improved memory, increased self-esteem, better study habits, and much more. Discipline, adaptability, and teamwork are just a few of the many skills I’ve learned and strengthened during my time in music programs. These programs are what keep many students coming to school. When walking through the cultural arts sections of my school, there are always several students socializing with friends, practicing, or working with directors on various projects. Funding these cultural arts programs, especially music, would greatly improve education for future generations. Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in these programs has benefited me greatly as I’ve developed strong practice habits and discipline that have translated into my studies. For example, when I practice a concerto, I work on small sections and then move on once I’ve mastered it. This is similar to the way I study for tests. It has also helped me with my memorization skills. As a musician, I have to come up with creative ways to memorize large amounts of music. This has helped me with memorizing content for my courses as I’m used to having to get creative with how I remember things. Music has also improved my social skills as I am constantly working with new people and with new music which means I have to be flexible and able to adapt to any situation. I’ve also had the chance to form close relationships within my orchestras and with my directors. This community has always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. My high school experience has been colored by the pandemic along with several family and personal issues. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. This has inspired me to study music education after high school so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. I strive to put my students first and to show them that their feelings and ideas are valued. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music programs have on our lives. Studying music has allowed me a larger worldview, expanded my vocabulary, and improved my math skills. It has also been a source of comfort and a place where I can be myself as well as grow. Funding music programs is vital to student success and would greatly benefit future generations of students.

The teacher who has inspired me the most over the last thirteen years has been Mrs. Ginger Paris. She was my first ever violin teacher and I worked with her for six years before going to middle school. Even after I left, she continued to keep in touch with me, bring me along with her to concerts, and allowed me to learn more about music education. Mrs. Paris has been with my school system for over 40 years and has taught thousands of students over her time here in Lynchburg. She is constantly going above and beyond to help her students succeed in whatever they dream of. Whenever I have good news or need a shoulder to cry on, I call her. She always knows the best way to comfort me and is not afraid to let me know when I need to change the way I am doing something. Her passion and dedication have inspired me to teach instrumental music so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music is a great way for students to learn healthier coping mechanisms. This can be done through playing instruments to express your emotions, writing music that reflects your experiences, and exploring options like music therapy. I have found developing these skills to be crucial as there is a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. This has become a major factor in why I want to become a teacher. This also inspires me to make my classroom a safe space for my students where they are valued and loved regardless of their abilities. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. I also want to become a teacher so I can give students the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. In the last thirteen years, I have only studied one composer who I related to. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and inclusive so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow. Without Mrs. Paris's support, I would have never realized my passion for music and for teaching and I am forever grateful for her encouragement.

Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in music has allowed me to experience so many incredible opportunities that I would have never imagined if I hadn’t joined music. If my younger self could see everything I’ve achieved, everywhere I’ve traveled, and the people I’ve met in music, she would be so proud. She dreamt of being a teacher or a conductor and I can proudly say I have done both. I teach private lessons to individual students and regularly have the opportunity to conduct my school orchestra. I have had the opportunity to study and perform on many different instruments including violin, viola, cello, percussion, and piano. I always lose myself in the music when playing and it brings me so much joy when I'm sitting in a rehearsal surrounded by my friends. Through music, I have made friendships that have lasted over a decade, met my significant other, and have gained many mentors. I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing instructors that have left a lasting impact on me not only as a musician but as a person. My directors have always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. Without the Lynchburg City Schools (LCS) music program, I may not have been here to write this essay. Throughout the years, I’ve struggled greatly with my mental and physical health. Over the last two years, I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses as well as mental disorders. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. My illnesses make it hard to play my instruments and while heartbreaking for me, my music directors have never once made me feel less or like a bad musician because of it. After high school, I plan to study music education so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music has on our lives. While there are many academic benefits to studying music, to me, it is a source of extreme joy, and no matter how I’m feeling, there is always a piece of music that I can relate to or turn to for comfort. Music is in almost every aspect of our lives, from radio shows to film scores and everything in between. Without it and the support of the people I’ve met through music, I would be an entirely different person.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic towards others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummeted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue and I often contemplated suicide. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have been working on this by asking for help with smaller tasks like getting food, reaching out for accommodations, and letting go of the idea of things always having to be perfect. It has also inspired me to speak out about my experiences so others don't have to feel that isolation. After high school, I plan to study music education and the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. I want my students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together.

Summer evening walks with my family were always my favorite growing up, the warm air, the fireflies flickering in the trees, and the stars always made for a lovely after-dinner activity. We were picking honeysuckle that night, one of our favorite summer pastimes. I love the way the smell of it wafts through open windows on temperate summer evenings, the sweetness of the bloom, the pale yellow of the flowers. I’ve realized honeysuckle and I have a lot in common. Honeysuckle is widely regarded by gardeners as an invasive shrub, yet everyone loves and looks for the sweet-smelling bush. To me, honeysuckle symbolizes how, even though I have flaws and imperfections, people still find the good in me and love me. Honeysuckle spreads easily, takes over other plants, harms other plants around it by trying to stay in the light. Due to these qualities, gardeners often try to exterminate honeysuckle. Even though it is often cut back, honeysuckle grows back stronger, it blooms again, even in the face of adversity. People still love honeysuckle, even though it’s sometimes not the ideal plant or the easiest to work with. I relate to this; I spread myself too thin, dominate conversations, and sometimes accidentally hurt those I care about with my perfectionism and trying to be the absolute best I can be. While sometimes I am difficult to work with, I’m still surrounded by people who love and value me. This is something I value most- finding the best in people and working with where they are, helping them to grow and bloom. When working with plants, sometimes they need to be cut back in order to grow back stronger, the same for honeysuckle. For me, this clipping came in the form of a teacher who dimmed my passion, dulled my love of learning, and made me almost quit violin because of them. Before I started working with this teacher, I was growing and learning constantly, but this teacher cut me back. It was difficult for me to find my passion for playing again, but after placing third out of a hundred violinists I began to realize that I was still growing even though it felt as though my musical career had died. Slowly but surely, new leaves of passion began to grow back. Like honeysuckle, I found growth through this hardship, and with this renewed passion, I began to receive opportunities and work with people who inspired me again. I started playing in a local college orchestra, working with my high school orchestra director, and studying with my current private teacher. I met some of my best friends, performed in amazing concerts with other musicians from across the state, and got to grow into myself as a musician and person. Sometimes we have to be cut back in order to flourish and I can proudly say I am now blooming again. With this, I have decided to attend Shenandoah Conservatory to pursue music education. I plan to avoid college debt by applying to as many scholarships as I can and continue to save money through playing gigs, teaching my students, and participating in a work-study program while at Shenandoah. My goal is to take out as few loans as possible and to apply to as many scholarships as humanly possible to achieve this goal.

When I think back through my education, the teachers who have had the greatest impact on me have been my music teachers. I started playing violin when I was four years old and since then, I have had the honor of working with so many wonderful teachers. Their passion and dedication have inspired me to become an instrumental music teacher so I can help students connect with themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and have a safe space to grow and learn. Music is a great way for students to learn healthier coping mechanisms. This can be done through playing instruments to express your emotions, writing music that reflects your experiences, and exploring options like music therapy. I have found developing these skills to be crucial as there is a rampant culture of perfectionism in musical spaces. This is something that I have had to work through myself and I want to dismantle this idea of music having to always be perfect so my students do not have to suffer as I have. This has become a major factor in why I want to become a teacher. This also inspires me to make my classroom a safe space for my students where they are valued and loved regardless of their abilities. To me, the point of making music is not about being the best or practicing the most. It is about the joy and personal growth found in the process. I also want to become a teacher so I can give students the representation I have lacked throughout my musical career. Music allows students to explore their creativity and identity in an encouraging environment. This is something that inspires me to teach because growing up, I often felt isolated from classical music since there were no composers like me. In the last thirteen years, I have only studied one composer who I related to. Having grown up without this representation, I want to work to diversify the classical literature that is taught in music classes to make it more accessible and inclusive so future students don’t have to feel that disconnect. This is ultimately why I want to teach: to be the teacher I wish I had when I was younger and to be the change I want to see in the field. I want to teach so I can create a community of healthier musicians as well as give students a supportive environment to grow. Music education interests me because I have grown up surrounded by educators. I come from a long line of educators. My parents, my nana, and my great grandmother all work/worked in some form of education whether it be teaching, information technology, and everything in between. This has allowed me to see firsthand the impact one person can have in an education system and it inspires me to do the same. My mom always made sure I was surrounded by books. I grew up reading stories like The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, and Divergent which taught me the power of standing up for what you believe in no matter how many people oppose you. These characters were powerful role models for me, inspiring me to want to change the education system, even if it is just in my classroom. These books helped show me that one person can make a difference even if it seems impossible and that is something I strive to carry into my career as an educator.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. This journey has been challenging but I know it has strengthened me in ways I can't even imagine.

Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in music has allowed me to experience so many incredible opportunities that I would have never imagined if I hadn’t joined music. If my younger self could see everything I’ve achieved, everywhere I’ve traveled, and the people I’ve met in music, she would be so proud. She dreamt of being a teacher or a conductor and I can proudly say I have done both. I teach private lessons to individual students and regularly have the opportunity to conduct my school orchestra. Through music, I have made friendships that have lasted over a decade, met my significant other, and have gained many mentors. I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing instructors that have left a lasting impact on me not only as a musician but as a person. My directors have always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. Without the Lynchburg City Schools (LCS) music program, I may not have been here to write this essay. Throughout the years, I’ve struggled greatly with my mental and physical health. Over the last two years, I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses as well as mental disorders. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. My illnesses make it hard to play my instruments and while heartbreaking for me, my music directors have never once made me feel less or like a bad musician because of it. While I've struggled with my personal health, the pandemic began and this past year, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. My directors have supported me through this as well by giving me space to vent, offering extensions on assignments, and even helping me organize a charity concert for my mom. After high school, I plan to study music education so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. In college, I plan to stay close with the directors and teachers I've formed relationships with but also connect with my new music professors and mentors. It's incredibly important to me to know my teachers both inside and out of the classroom. By getting to know them and allowing them to get to know me, they can be more understanding of my circumstances and I can feel more comfortable asking for help when I need it. My teachers aren't able to read my mind so being able to be open with them and tell them what's really happening rather than burying it will be vital in helping me through college. Music is an incredibly powerful tool for connecting with others and by majoring in music education, I get to continue forming these deep, fulfilling relationships with the musicians around me.

Picture this: you’re sitting in a movie theater watching Spielberg’s Jaws. The shark comes on the screen ready to attack but…there’s no music. Or imagine watching Hitchcock’s Psycho but there’s just silence while the killer strikes instead of the incredible score written by Herrmann. While these examples may seem absurd, think back to the horror movies you’ve watched and the scores written for them. The way the notes on the violin creep higher and higher, producing goosebumps on the skin, or the way the dynamics jump to fortissimo after being pianissimo, making the audience jump. To me, this intersection between the science of fear and the art of film scoring is the perfect match between STEAM and art. What is it that makes these scores so creepy and why do humans react so viscerally? This link between music and fear has been researched by many neuroscientists. According to TIME and CBS News, these scores work to mimic sounds that trigger our fight and flight responses and activate the areas of the brain that want to protect us. When chords clash and arise out of nowhere, it mimics a scream which makes our brains go, “oh no, danger!” and triggers the adrenaline rush. Composers also work to mirror sounds like leaves rustling or faint footsteps in order to create that feeling of being preyed on. The part of our brains wired for fear is known as the amygdala. It works to figure out whether or not the body needs to be afraid of its surroundings or not. There was a study done in Oxford comparing reactions to scary music in patients with amygdalas and patients without. It was found those who no longer had their amygdalas, had a harder time differentiating between scary music and non-scary music while those with amygdalas, had little trouble. While this is the biological factor for why humans react the way we do to horror music, composers still have to write the music in specific ways to trigger this reaction. Using different things like tempo, weird instruments, rhythm, and toying with the audience’s expectations are all used to make these scores as iconic as they are. This idea of creating bone-chilling music is nothing new, in fact, it’s been around for centuries! While the most iconic pieces of horror musical literature may have come from the 20th century, music being used for inducing fear dates back to the composition of Dies Irae which translates to the day of wrath. Even today, this piece conveys a sense of impending doom and has been used in several horror movies including Friday the 13th and The Shinning. Composers like Mozart and Stravinsky helped popularize this work and built off of the “doom feeling” of the original poem. Saint Saens’s Danse Macabre also comes to mind. From its haunting melodies to the instrumental effect of skeletons hurrying back to their graves, the piece shows Saens’s mastery of storytelling through music. I have been lucky enough to study both the Herrmann Psycho Suite and Saens’s Danse Macabre and have gotten to experience firsthand what goes into taking the written notes off the page to make the audience feel the suspense and fear intended. In my ensembles, we focused lots of the dynamics and explored harsher, less melodic types of playing. Most of the time the music we perform is flowy and calming so I really enjoyed getting to push myself out of my comfort zone with these pieces. Learning about the endless possibilities of the way music can be utilized inspires me to pursue my degree in music education. Growing up, I felt like I had to be in the classical music box and I could never play anything but classical. Getting to explore pieces like the ones mentioned through this essay, has really challenged me and inspired me to grow and learn more as well as push the boundaries of what I “should” do. I want to pursue music education because I want to be able to help students see that there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to make, write, or perform music. By allowing more freedom and branching out from the traditional path, we’ve gotten some of the most iconic pieces of musical literature ever created! I wish to help inspire my students to make music in the “wrong” ways and challenge what we as musicians accept as being correct. Music has the incredible power to bring people together, but it also has the power to affect the way we feel and perceive things. Horror movies would be so much less terrifying if they didn’t have the musical scores to accompany the action. Composers work to use our own biology against us in order to up the creepy factor of these movies and to me, that’s the most perfect combination of STEM and art.

Honeysuckle is widely regarded by gardeners as invasive, yet everyone loves it. Honeysuckle spreads easily, takes over other plants, harms other plants by trying to stay in the light. Due to these qualities, gardeners often try to exterminate honeysuckle. Even though it gets cut back, honeysuckle grows back stronger. I relate to this; I spread myself too thin, dominate conversations, and accidentally hurt those around me with my perfectionistic tendencies. When working with plants, sometimes they need to be cut back in order to grow back stronger. For me, this clipping came in the form of a teacher who dimmed my passion, dulled my love of learning, and made me almost quit violin because of them. Before I started working with this teacher, I was growing and learning constantly, but this teacher cut me back. It was difficult for me to find my passion for playing again, but after placing third out of a hundred violinists I began to realize that I was still growing even though it felt as though my musical career had died. Slowly but surely, new leaves of passion began to grow back. Like honeysuckle, I found growth through this hardship, and with this renewed passion, I began to receive opportunities and work with people who inspired me again. I started playing in a local college orchestra, working with my high school orchestra director, and studying with my current private teacher. I met some of my best friends, performed in amazing concerts, grown into myself as a musician and person, and have committed to a conservatory for music education. Sometimes we have to be cut back in order to flourish and I can proudly say I am now blooming again.

Summer evening walks with my family were always my favorite growing up, the warm air, the fireflies flickering in the trees, and the stars always made for a lovely after-dinner activity. We were picking honeysuckle that night, one of our favorite summer pastimes. I love the way the smell of it wafts through open windows on temperate summer evenings, the sweetness of the bloom, the pale yellow of the flowers. I’ve realized honeysuckle and I have a lot in common. Honeysuckle is widely regarded by gardeners as an invasive shrub, yet everyone loves and looks for the sweet-smelling bush. To me, honeysuckle symbolizes how, even though I have flaws and imperfections, people still find the good in me and love me. Honeysuckle spreads easily, takes over other plants, harms other plants around it by trying to stay in the light. Due to these qualities, gardeners often try to exterminate honeysuckle. Even though it is often cut back, honeysuckle grows back stronger, it blooms again, even in the face of adversity. People still love honeysuckle, even though it’s sometimes not the ideal plant or the easiest to work with. I relate to this; I spread myself too thin, dominate conversations, and sometimes accidentally hurt those I care about with my perfectionism and trying to be the absolute best I can be. While sometimes I am difficult to work with, I’m still surrounded by people who love and value me. This is something I value most- finding the best in people and working with where they are, helping them to grow and bloom. When working with plants, sometimes they need to be cut back in order to grow back stronger, the same for honeysuckle. For me, this clipping came in the form of a teacher who dimmed my passion, dulled my love of learning, and made me almost quit violin because of them. Before I started working with this teacher, I was growing and learning constantly, but this teacher cut me back. It was difficult for me to find my passion for playing again, but after placing third out of a hundred violinists I began to realize that I was still growing even though it felt as though my musical career had died. Slowly but surely, new leaves of passion began to grow back. Like honeysuckle, I found growth through this hardship, and with this renewed passion, I began to receive opportunities and work with people who inspired me again. I started playing in a local college orchestra, working with my high school orchestra director, and studying with my current private teacher. I met some of my best friends, performed in amazing concerts with other musicians from across the state, and got to grow into myself as a musician and person. Sometimes we have to be cut back in order to flourish and I can proudly say I am now blooming again.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. The constant anxiety about whether certain activities will cause a flare-up or if doctors will take me seriously. This is my reality with chronic illness. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. Over the last year, I have been diagnosed with a variety of physical and mental health conditions including Juvenile Fibromyalgia, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. Even though this journey has been painful, it has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. While TV medical dramas make it seem easy to get a diagnosis, this could not be further from the truth. I had several doctors invalidate my struggles and tell me it was my poor mental health or that it was, “statistically more likely I was overexaggerating my symptoms than me actually having all these rare diseases”. With all the medical trauma I have faced, I have become a better advocate for myself and others. I knew deep down something was wrong and I kept fighting even when I felt like giving up. This persistence allowed me to eventually get my diagnosis along with treatment for my pain and other debilitating symptoms. It is completely exhausting to live your life this way. Having to work around this has helped me be more empathetic towards others’ struggles as I know how hard it is to function in a body like mine. My mental health plummetted in the Summer of 2020 as I reached a breaking point in my medical journey where it felt pointless to continue. That experience of feeling so low and like I wasn’t worthy of care or help, was terrifying and I strive to ease that pain for others. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I have been working on this by asking for help with smaller tasks like getting food, reaching out for accommodations, and letting go of the idea of things always having to be perfect. After high school, I plan to study music education and the lessons I’ve learned will equip me to be a better educator for my future and current students by being better at advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. It has also helped me be more understanding when it comes to students struggling to complete work as I know how difficult it can be to do school, let alone extra work like practicing an instrument. My students know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and can tell me when they’re struggling and that we will find a way to work through things together.

Since the No Child Left Behind legislation passed in 2002, there has been an emphasis on preparing children to excel in standardized testing and getting them into college. This has come at the detriment of cultural arts programs, specifically music, which are either cut entirely from the curriculum or severely underfunded. Studies have shown that music classes have several benefits academically including things like improved memory, increased self-esteem, better study habits, and much more. Discipline, adaptability, and teamwork are just a few of the many skills I’ve learned and strengthened during my time in music programs. These programs are what keep many students coming to school. When walking through the cultural arts sections of my school, there are always several students socializing with friends, practicing, or working with directors on various projects. Funding these cultural arts programs, especially music, would greatly improve education for future generations. Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in these programs has benefited me greatly as I’ve developed strong practice habits and discipline that have translated into my studies. For example, when I practice a concerto, I work on small sections and then move on once I’ve mastered it. This is similar to the way I study for tests. It has also helped me with my memorization skills. As a musician, I have to come up with creative ways to memorize large amounts of music. This has helped me with memorizing content for my courses as I’m used to having to get creative with how I remember things. Music has also improved my social skills as I am constantly working with new people and with new music which means I have to be flexible and able to adapt to any situation. I’ve also had the chance to form close relationships within my orchestras and with the directors I work with. This community has always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. My high school experience has been colored by the pandemic along with several family and personal issues. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. This has inspired me to study music education after high school so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. I strive to put my students first and to show them that their feelings and ideas are valued. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music programs have on our lives. Studying music has allowed me a larger worldview, expanded my vocabulary, and improved my math skills. It has also been a source of comfort and a place where I can be myself as well as grow. Funding music programs is vital to student success and would greatly benefit future generations of students.

When I was in first or second grade, my dad got us involved in bell ringing for the Salvation Army. This has become our holiday tradition together; we stand outside of Kroger and he rings the bell while I play the violin spreading Christmas cheer to the community. This was my first experience with community service and I’ve fallen in love with volunteering ever since. Volunteering has shaped me into the person I am today and has even helped me choose what I want to do with my life. I’ve participated in so many different things while volunteering ranging from working with the Youth Services Department at the public library to organizing charity concerts for local organizations. Having the opportunity to work in and around our community has allowed me to learn more about Lynchburg and the people I interact with. For example, I volunteered with the Parks and Recreation Department for Art in the Park last May and got to meet so many local artists that I had never heard of. There was such a broad range of artistic mediums, styles, and inspirations used. If I hadn't volunteered, I wouldn’t have gotten to experience the richness of our local art community. Without volunteers like me, events like Art in the Park wouldn't be able to happen. When people are involved in their communities, it benefits everyone. Resources such as library programs, communal closets, and food banks are able to provide more services to their patrons when people get involved. Community involvement also allows for greater empathy, increased political activity, and enriches all parts of the community. The two biggest service activities that have impacted me are volunteering with the library and volunteering with the music programs within Lynchburg City Schools. Getting this experience of working both with music and education helped inspire me to want to study music education in college. I’ve had the chance to work hands-on with the STEAM program at the library, which combines math and art which has allowed me to teach kids how to make the crafts or do the experiments we choose. Working with the music programs in Lynchburg City Schools has allowed me to help plan events such as Senior Regional Orchestra, benefit concerts for different charities, and school concerts. I’ve gotten to work closely with directors around the city and watching their dedication to their students and music has been incredibly inspiring. These two service experiences have helped shape me not only as a student but as a person. Without them, I would never have thought about going into music education. It has also given me a deeper sense of empathy. Getting to work this closely not only with students, but my teachers has allowed me to see what really goes on behind the scenes. From the late nights on competition days to the hours of work that go into planning our big events, and the endless meetings with administration advocating for us, it’s given me a new appreciation for everything my teachers do for me. As a future educator, I will be at what I consider to be the center of any community: the schools. This gives me the unique opportunity to directly impact my students' lives by striving to give them the opportunities I wasn't and bettering their lives through music. Instruments can be incredibly expensive and one of my goals is to work to lessen the income barriers that many face when getting involved in music. I also plan to give back to my future community by getting involved in local music and art events by getting my students involved. Without community service, my life would be drastically different and I am forever grateful for the opportunities it has given me. One day I hope I can provide those same opportunities and more for others and for those in my community.

Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in music has allowed me to experience so many incredible opportunities that I would have never imagined if I hadn’t joined music. If my younger self could see everything I’ve achieved, everywhere I’ve traveled, and the people I’ve met in music, she would be so proud. She dreamt of being a teacher or a conductor and I can proudly say I have done both. I teach private lessons to individual students and regularly have the opportunity to conduct my school orchestra. Through music, I have made friendships that have lasted over a decade, met my significant other, and have gained many mentors. I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing instructors that have left a lasting impact on me not only as a musician but as a person. My directors have always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. Without the Lynchburg City Schools (LCS) music program, I may not have been here to write this essay. Throughout the years, I’ve struggled greatly with my mental and physical health. Over the last two years, I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses as well as mental disorders. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. My illnesses make it hard to play my instruments and while heartbreaking for me, my music directors have never once made me feel less or like a bad musician because of it. After high school, I plan to study music education so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music programs have on our lives. Discipline, adaptability, and teamwork are just a few of the many skills I’ve learned and strengthened during my time in the LCS music programs. Studying music has allowed me a larger worldview, expanded my vocabulary, and improved my math skills. While there are many academic benefits to studying music, to me, it is a source of joy, and no matter how I’m feeling, there is always a piece of music that I can relate to or turn to for comfort. Music is in almost every aspect of our lives, from radio shows to film scores and everything in between. Without it and the support of the people I’ve met through music, I would be an entirely different person.

Imagine every morning, waking up wondering if you’re going to spend the day in pain. If you’ll have enough energy to complete your to-do list. This is my reality with chronic illness. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. While I’m fortunate that my diagnosis journey only took two years (compared to the average of seven), I still had to consistently fight to be listened to by medical professionals. This experience has been incredibly difficult and the impact of the trauma stemming from the diagnosis process is one that’ll stick with me for years to come. This journey has taught me how to be vocal in the things I believe, be more empathetic, as well as how to better ask for help. The lessons I’ve learned through this process will equip me to be a better educator for my future students by advocating for them, giving them a safe space where they can be heard, and helping them to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. Throughout the diagnostic process, I felt guilty for reaching out to others for help. While this is something I still struggle with, my experiences have made it easier for me to rely on those around me and accept that sometimes I will need help and that’s okay. I want my students to know that they don’t have to feel that guilt and the need to suffer in silence. The best teachers I’ve had, have been the ones who listened to me and advocated for me when others wouldn’t and I hope to be that teacher for my students. I knew something was wrong and if I hadn't have stood up for myself when people told me it was all in my head or I was exaggerating, I wouldn't have gotten the help I needed. I want my students to be able to advocate for themselves and what they believe in even if no one else will take their side. This ability to speak for what I believe in has benefited me by getting me the help I need, being able to express my feelings, and communicating in a more effective way. For example, I used to be terrified of going to the doctor. Now I am able to tell my doctor what I have researched, what I need in order to be successful, and that the worst thing she can tell me is no. Winning this scholarship would help me pay to attend Shenandoah University where I plan to get my undergraduate degree in music education. Music programs have been a major part of my life and a major support system in my journey through the medical system and I hope to be that teacher who can provide a safe space for my students.

Without music, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. Participating in music has allowed me to experience so many incredible opportunities that I would have never imagined if I hadn’t joined music. If my younger self could see everything I’ve achieved, everywhere I’ve traveled, and the people I’ve met in music, she would be so proud. She dreamt of being a teacher or a conductor and I can proudly say I have done both. I teach private lessons to individual students and regularly have the opportunity to conduct my school orchestra. Through music, I have made friendships that have lasted over a decade, met my significant other, and have gained many mentors. I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing instructors that have left a lasting impact on me not only as a musician but as a person. My directors have always been there for me, whether I needed to cry or someone to celebrate with. Without the Lynchburg City Schools (LCS) music program, I may not have been here to write this essay. Throughout the years, I’ve struggled greatly with my mental and physical health. Over the last two years, I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses as well as mental disorders. No matter how dark things have been, the music programs at my high school have always been there as a source of joy and light for me. My illnesses make it hard to play my instruments and while heartbreaking for me, my music directors have never once made me feel less or like a bad musician because of it. After high school, I plan to study music education so I can be that director for someone because, without mine, I would not have made it through. While that is my story, I know many students who have similar ones and it’s incredible the impact music programs have on our lives. Discipline, adaptability, and teamwork are just a few of the many skills I’ve learned and strengthened during my time in the LCS music programs. Studying music has allowed me a larger worldview, expanded my vocabulary, and improved my math skills. While there are many academic benefits to studying music, to me, it is a source of joy, and no matter how I’m feeling, there is always a piece of music that I can relate to or turn to for comfort. Music is in almost every aspect of our lives, from radio shows to film scores and everything in between. Without it and the support of the people I’ve met through music, I would be an entirely different person.