Post-coronavirus China is stressful, unstable, and ever-changing. This May I heard that an acquaintance of mine was homeless and struggling to return to his native country so I took him in. At first, it was a huge shock to me. I went from never leaving my house and rarely meeting up with friends to being constantly with someone in my tiny studio apartment. Despite the change in lifestyle, it was an amazing experience. For the next three months, we quickly became best friends, confidants, co-writers for music as well as art, and allies. Although, I was the one helping him, by the end I feel that he helped me in more ways than I can express. He gave me a new outlook on life and opened my eyes to the differences and similarities between us all. He supported me when my family and other friends weren’t there. He advised me, cared for me, and pushed me to be the best version of myself. The world around me changed and I began to appreciate the little things more and let my creative side take over when I met my best friend. The link is an illustrated poem we worked on together.

Stephen Hawking easily takes the place as my favorite scientist not only for his great contributions to the scientific community but also for his ability to overcome the adversities of his physical disability at the same time. Hawking was such a huge inspiration to me for that because, as someone who also suffers from a physical disability, I know first-hand how many obstacles come up not only with trying to complete school but also trying to surpass the stigmas and bias faced with peers, colleagues, and within a career. He had such a monumental influence on the scientific community and humanity as a whole, without him it's simple to say that our world would not be where we are now within the realms of scientific discovery and disability acceptance. He truly inspired me to push past my challenges and showed me that anything is possible if you're motivated and persistent.

Alone. Struggling. Stressed. Life before China was all of those things. I found myself without reliable friends, struggling to figure out how I could survive, and stressed about what lies in my future. When I came to China in 2019 I was pleasantly surprised to find the tight-knit foreign community here. One of my most memorable experiences is the day I met my best friends. I was homeless and needed to find a new place to stay and two Ecuadorian angels took me in. Their kindness affected me in ways I can’t put into words, for that reason and many others I made it my mission to not only make sure those around me don’t feel the stress and fear that I did but also to do anything in my ability to help them. Post-coronavirus China is stressful, unstable, and ever-changing. This May I heard that an acquaintance of mine was homeless and struggling to return to his native country and so, reminded of the kindness shown to me, I took him in. At first, it was a huge shock to me. I went from never leaving my house and rarely meeting up with friends to being constantly with someone in my tiny studio apartment. Despite the change in lifestyle, it was an amazing experience for me. For the next three months, we quickly became best friends, confidants, co-writers for music as well as art, and allies. Although at first I was the one helping him, by the end I feel that he helped me in more ways than I can express. He gave me a new outlook on life and opened my eyes to the differences and similarities between us all. He supported me when my family and other friends weren’t there. He advised me, cared for me, and pushed me to be the best version of myself. He taught me new art skills and gave me new ideas to put into my music. The world around me changed and I began to appreciate the little things more and let my creative side take over. There are many things in this world that I am thankful for but this experience has been one of the most impactful. I feel that when people usually think of volunteering or supporting others they have the idea of “giving something up” in order to help, be it time, money, or resources. What people don’t realize is that volunteering and being there for those around you gives you the opportunity to gain something emotionally, spiritually, and personally.

Unseen. Unheard. Unknown. In the United States alone there are about 250,000 unsolved murders, a number which only grows larger each year. Voices lost, families ripped apart, friends and loved ones separated for life. On top of this, there are other staggering possibilities for wrongful convictions and exonerations. In 1988, DNA was first used in England to secure the conviction of murderer Colin Pitchfork. For over 30 years, the use of forensic science has grown immensely and aided in the sentencing of countless criminals. Not only has it helped convict the guilty, but it has also helped release the innocent. All my life I have wanted to help others, a trait that was given to me through my upbringing and which has formed and motivated the person I am today. Forensics has always captured my interest with its ability to help so many, especially those who can no longer speak or advocate for themselves. The curse of life is time. There is only so much that you can accomplish in one lifetime. Luckily enough for me, I got a head start. I started working when I was 6 years old to feed my passion for acting and music as well as to help support my family during hard times. My experiences when I was younger fueled a strong work ethic which I still hold today. I’m always looking for new ways to explore and push myself. Some of the things I love to do the most are singing, learning, and reading. Recently, I read a book called Mindfulness which changed my perspective of the world around me and helped push me to new levels. Two of my favorite quotes from the book happen in close succession. The author captured my attention when she said, "the disability is used as a justification for failure or poor performance. Individuals without disabilities frequently employ 'self-handicapping' strategies, building in explanations for possible failures." this quote specifically helped changed my mindset surrounding my disability EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) and truly resonated with me. For years, I inhibited myself from living life or pushing myself to greater heights all because I was too scared to fail. I let my disability define my life and control me instead of pushing myself to my limit which leads me to another quote I love, "whether or not something is a disability depends on the context". Many of the people who know me in China are surprised when I tell them I'm disabled, the biggest response I get is "you don't look disabled." which on one hand hurts and on the other hand makes me feel proud. I worked for years not only to repair my body but also my mind. I went from being bedridden in my mom's basement in Chicago to dancing all night and exercising daily in China. Sometimes, I forget to give myself credit where credit is due. This book helped me to not only think about and appreciate the work I've done but it also helped me looked at the world around me differently and overall gave me the ability to access new points of view in my daily situations.

During the lowest point of my life this year I struggled to get out of bed, to eat or take care of my basic needs, to go to work, or see my friends. At this point, I felt as if I was barely alive. I was sick of feeling this way and so I bought a little book called Mindfulness and it changed my life. When I read books I'm a little peculiar in the fact that I like to take notes and write down things that stick out to me, regardless of the topic (you should really see some of the notes I've taken on Stephen King). One of my favorite excerpts from Mindfulness happens on page 48 and it goes like this, "our tendency to focus on outcome also narrows our self-image. When we envy other people's assets, accomplishments, or characteristics, it is often because we are making a faulty comparison.". This is one of the many messages from the book that helped push me to change my life. For the last two years, I've been in China trying to explore and figure my life out. As wonderful as this journey has been, it has also made me feel scared and embarrassed to go back to school because I will be older than my classmates and behind my friends back in America. For a year I've been in a stalemate with myself, too uneasy to push forward and too proud to settle. This book helped me realize my goals and start chasing them again. I was able to start meeting new people without fear of judgment, I started daily exercise despite my disability, I found mental stability and peace of mind. Finally, after reading Mindfulness I was able to apply for university and start my educational journey again.

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein The great physicist was many things but traditional was not one. Einstein is commonly associated with his ability to think outside of the box not only in his career but also starting as early as his days in school. Stories of his curiosity and abstract way of thinking always inspired me to embrace my peculiarity rather than hide it. Throughout my life, I have always had a bit of a weird twist to my thinking. Be it going out of my way to save even the smallest forms of life, finding new and curious ways to solve problems I come to face, or the queer way I tend to speak and socialize. I was ridiculed by my peers and mocked for being strange all because I didn't conform to their ideas of society, fashion, education, music, and so many other things. For a long time, I started to detest the person I was. I tried changing myself to fit their mold better instead of embracing my curiosity. Years down the line, I had become so detached from myself and my view of the world was tilted on its axis. I began to ask myself many questions about the things I saw going on around me. Why are we confined to think and behave we do? Who sets these rules? Why is it frowned upon to swim upstream? Why not instead of swimming up or downstream we just get out of the water and walk the bank? Finally, I began to accept myself. I accepted that I was different and that these differences are what make me unique, beautiful, and precious. These traits that I used to try and hide or suppress were the things that helped me stand out in a crowd of faceless portraits. Where would we be if our greatest inventors, scientists, poets, and musicians hadn't had their eccentricity which set them apart from their colleagues and pushed them to change the world? Albert Einstein's words have had a profound effect on the way I view myself and others and has resonated with me the most out of any other quote I've come across. His personality, interests, and behaviors have inspired me and my journey through personal growth. Most notably with his uniqueness and advocacy for curiosity and abnormality but the question still remains, who really are the crazy ones? I think they are those who refuse to open their eyes and see the possibilities that surround them. Staying put only prevents us from seeing what lies beyond the horizon. I prefer to take my chances and go for a walk.

Covid-19, a diary. Shenzhen, China. Month 1 - I lost my job today. I haven't been allowed to leave my house for a few weeks already, it's starting to get lonely but at least I can study for my Uni entrance exams. Month 3 - I'm waiting for my acceptance results. Money is starting to run out and job hunting is pretty stressful but I need to work hard to stay in China so I can go to college. Month 6 - College wouldn't accept foreign students due to the pandemic. I called my mom today. It was nice to hear her voice but it was hard not to cry. I haven't seen her in a year. Month 12 - I lost my job again but I just keep looking at my goals and pushing myself forward. It hurts to ask my family for money, I know they are struggling but I know they want to support me too. Month 18 - I applied for a new university in Paris and I'm finally motivated again. My family always tells me how much they miss me but they are proud of me and told me they will visit once I move! This pandemic has been tough on all of us. For me, it was especially hard to be completely alone in a foreign country without friends, family, or connections. There were many times where the thought of giving up or surrendering to the hardships crossed my mind but I never did. I kept looking to the future with my goals in mind and knowing that if I allowed myself to regress I would not only fail my goals but fail myself. Pushing myself through all the hard times taught me just how strong when I believe in myself and my abilities.

I was born with a disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Due to this, I was bullied a lot in school with half of them saying I was faking my daily joint dislocations and the other half making fun of me for being "crippled". It was always one of my biggest insecurities and the thing I used to hide the most from people, especially after I got two surgeries on each knee leaving them filled with 10-12 inch scars. For years I was too embarrassed to wear shorts or any revealing clothes after my peers ridiculed me for how they looked or instantly noticed them and asked what had happened. Finally, as I got older I realized that my scars aren't a bad thing and neither is my disorder. As I met more people with the same affliction as me I realized that it has given me the ability to relate and help others who are dealing with the same or similar things as I am. It gave me one of the greatest tools - empathy, one of the greatest lessons - forgiveness, and one of the greatest skills - perseverance. Now I wear my scars with pride because I know how much strength it took to get through the hardships of growing up disabled. I talk about my difficulties with ease because I know having my experiences with aid me in helping others. Lastly, I talk about disability with love because I know without it I wouldn't be who I am today, and I love who I am for all the good and the bad.

I struggled to get through school due to my mental health. Constantly in and out of hospitals or too ill to go to school. In my last two years, however, things changed. The biggest difference was that people cared. The teachers were there to help students who struggled and mental health was put over all other things. If you were struggling it was acceptable to take a break from class and come back when you were ready. If you suddenly seemed to do worse in school it was normal for teachers to ask how you were feeling. I think the biggest practical solution for people struggling with their mental health is to have a safe and comfortable outlet. A place to decompress if school or life is getting too stressful.

When I look to the future it seems blurry. There are so many things I want to do and see but the future is unpredictable and ever-changing. In a perfect, or almost perfect, world this is what my future would look like. I see myself graduating from university with my doctorate in medicine and finally returning home to show my parents. With this, I'll be the first one in my family to graduate college and I will complete one of the biggest goals I have in my life. After graduation, I plan to start my work in forensic pathology. Ideally, I would be helping people who can no longer speak for themselves or who have been forgotten by the world. I believe as people we all deserve to be cared for and looked after, even in death. This is another reason why in my dream life I'll adopt my children and foster others once mine have grown up. I often think of the children who may not feel the love that they deserve and it has always pushed me to want a life where I can support as many of them as possible. Also in my dream life, I will have my music career on the side. Currently, I'm self-producing my first album. I hope that in the next 10 years I can produce at least three. One day, I want to bring joy to the people around me. Whether that be pride for my parents by graduating, pleasure for those who listen to my music, affection for my future children, or justice for those whom I will fight to protect and honor. My dream life is full of love and happiness, as all life should be.