For six years, I attended schools in small towns lacking diversity. My parents are immigrants, and I’m both African and Asian. I’ve struggled with social anxiety, often feeling out of place. It was challenging to make friends due to the racism, exclusion, bullying, and elitism I faced. So, I left New Mexico with cripplingly low self-esteem and identity issues, feeling unlikeable and disposable. In 2019, I went to live with my grandmother in France for a year. While I spoke French at home, I was barely literate. My grammar was poor, and my vocabulary was severely limited. Therefore, keeping up with my new French teachers and learning the material in a new language was challenging. Though my grades weren’t a priority, I was nevertheless determined to excel academically. I loved the challenge and satisfaction of understanding new concepts, so I didn't allow the language barrier to hinder the thrill of learning. Amid my struggle, I realized that I always chose the most difficult option because I liked challenges— but also to demonstrate my worth. I measured my self-worth with my academic accomplishments. So, I felt pressure to throw myself into the most rigorous situations because, otherwise, I’d be useless. What else was there to applaud? My work had always earned praise and approval, so I constantly tried to prove myself to feel valued. This revelation resulted in further self-reflection. I wasn’t the smartest in France, nor did I have the best grades — so who was I? I progressively opened up, revealing what I had previously concealed to avoid judgment. I no longer felt at the bottom of a social hierarchy that I could not control. I was equal! How others perceived me no longer defined me. As I aimed to find and appreciate my good qualities, I began to adopt a positive mentality. Others felt it too. For the first time, I felt welcomed and liked. No, I didn’t have my “smart kid” reputation, but people liked me because I was interesting and friendly, and I went out of my way to appreciate them. I didn’t have to be good at anything to be worthy of love. Hence, I made very close friends, experiencing true friendship for the first time. These friends cared as much about me as I cared about them. They encouraged and uplifted me, loving me for who I was, not what I achieved. I'm not entirely certain about the career path I want to follow yet, but my true aspiration is to identify and solve the root of important issues. I'm concerned about the cycle of poverty in America — especially for people of color — and I want to help break this cycle somehow. I don't have extensive knowledge on this issue and have no idea what the realistic solutions could be. A profound understanding of real-world issues is one thing I seek to acquire in college. I want to fight so that organizations like food pantries aren't needed, money doesn't play such a crucial part in students' success, and wealth gaps don’t exist. I am confident that going to college will allow me to learn more about the world and enrich myself. Though I am unclear about my future career, my goal is to find the right path — one where I can use my knowledge and my abilities to positively and meaningfully impact the world. To achieve this, I want to go to the college that is the best fit for me and will help me realize my full potential — without the obstacle of financial hardships.

The quality I value most in myself is how hardworking I am. Being in Advanced Academics puts a lot of pressure on me because of how competitive it is. There’s constant talk about who’s “smarter” and who has the highest rank, GPA, or SAT scores. I’m very confident in my intelligence and capabilities, but I know that there will always be someone ahead of me in these areas. However, whenever I catch myself comparing myself to others, I recall that no matter what disadvantages I have, hard work will always let me be as successful as anyone else throughout my life. In 2019, I went to live with my grandmother in France for a year. While I spoke French at home, I was barely literate. My grammar was poor, and my vocabulary was severely limited. Therefore, keeping up with my French teachers and learning the material in a different language was challenging. Though my grades weren’t a priority, I was determined to excel academically. To do so, I had to work twice as hard as my classmates — note-taking was difficult, and I had to translate what I did to be able to understand them. Even after translating, I still had to memorize the information in French so that I could communicate my knowledge in class and during tests. Although the first grades that I received were very discouraging, I continued working hard and started to see results. My grades improved drastically, I was understanding content without translations, and my writing no longer had to be perfectly memorized. Unfortunately, when COVID-19 hit, we went into quarantine. Only two teachers continued classes using video calls — the rest just assigned work until the end of the school year. With limited instruction, I felt like I had gone back to square one. However, I didn’t give up, and eventually, I started getting the same (and sometimes better) grades as my classmates. By the end of the second trimester, my cumulative grade was 16.9/20 while the class average was 12.1/20. For 11th grade, I transferred to a new school (still during COVID-19) and attended class online. My parents decided to move to Allen, Texas, to provide me with better opportunities, so I decided to join the International Baccalaureate (IB) program, which only offers advanced classes. So, in addition to being unaccustomed to the new heavy workload, I felt terribly lonely and lost, with no one to ask for help. Then, just a few weeks into the school year, my younger brother attempted suicide and was hospitalized. Shortly after his discharge, my grandmother passed away. My mental health plummeted, making my workload exceedingly unmanageable. Things spiraled further when my uncle developed pancreatic cancer in November and passed away in February. I was eventually diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, which had made my ADHD symptoms even worse throughout the school year. The severe shock and trauma I endured made succeeding at school extremely challenging, and my mental health suffered incredibly. Despite my struggles and challenges, I could not let the perfect grades I was accustomed to slip away completely. I knew that I had to maintain my work ethic and grades to reach the future I envisioned for myself, so I drove myself to power through. As a result, I finished the year with A's in all of my IB classes and a GPA in the top 10% of my class.

People have high expectations of me. I feel I must do everything perfectly. I let myself down, I need to keep up; I keep my composure, I cannot erupt. I know that I really should’ve done better; I just can’t help but be such a fretter. But I’m more than that! I want to yell, Look at the things in which I excel. Listen to whenever I’m joking around, Listen to my beautiful piano sounds. Listen to all my wildest dreams, Watch how I fight through the harsh tears that sting. Watch me shine on the days I am happy, Watch me try my best on days that are crappy.

At the beginning of this school year, I heard an announcement about a student-led organization in my school called Eagle Tutors. This type of organization consists primarily of students who are required to complete a certain amount of community service hours. I didn't need "hours" of community service because I did not participate in any club that required them; I'd rather seek out areas in which I'm passionate about making an impact. So, I was immediately interested because I like teaching others, helping students, and putting my knowledge to use. When I contacted the first tutee that I was assigned, she asked me what my "rates" were. Since I'm a volunteer, I didn't have a rate, and I found it strange that my tutee was looking to pay for a tutor. But then, I found out that some of my friends tutored younger kids for pay, and I realized that paid tutoring was a typical academic support service that many parents use. This kind of service requires financial resources that students from lower and middle-income families don't have. I often discuss the issue of how these students are disadvantaged in the schooling system. It's enraging how almost everything comes with a price tag (extracurricular activities, college applications, SAT preparation, etc.), making it more difficult for these students to succeed. Volunteering as a tutor is a small but meaningful way to help bridge this gap. Often, tutoring with teachers is not enough, especially in a big school of 5000+ students like mine. Teachers only have so much time, and many students get overlooked. I can give my tutees the attention and time that isn't provided by their teachers and help them succeed.

I really love “Everybody Dies” by Billie Eilish because I feel like it was written for me. The song was released shortly after my junior year, which was a tough year for me since two family members and a classmate passed away. The lyrics instantly resonated with me because of their honest depiction of death. That summer, I’d been mulling over the concept of death, and I loved Eilish’s philosophy- it was realistic but not hostile, and since Eilish is young (19), her teenage perspective on death is relatable. After discovering the song, I listened to it over and over, letting the meaning of the lyrics sink in. The song spoke to me but also spoke for me. It perfectly captured my thoughts, feelings, and search for the meaning and understanding of life and death, pulling me out of resentment and bitterness: “But it’s okay to cry… you are not alone.”

I love music, and playing songs or pieces that I adore on the piano brings me an immense amount of joy. Playing piano always lifts my mood whenever I’m down or discouraged. The sense of accomplishment I get from learning is valuable to me, especially when it seems like nothing else in life is going right. The challenge of mastering the most complex section of a piece can compel me to spend hours playing in one sitting, driven by determination and delight. My visible improvement never ceases to thrill me- I love when a piece that seemed impossible to play at first becomes almost natural. My teachers have always been surprised at how quickly I memorize pieces when I’m not required to. This process is automatic- enthusiasm is my greatest weapon. When I don’t have to think about the notes, I get lost in the music and weave my heart and soul into the phrases. Connecting with people I love also brings me pure joy. I cherish the time I spend with my siblings and parents. My closest friends mean the world to me, and I’m incredibly grateful to have them in my life. Interactions with people I talk to regularly at school always make my day. My best friend and I love to have little debates and talk about life or social injustices. We both really enjoy it because although we have the same essential values, we view the world very differently. Hence, we approach topics with multiple perspectives and (respectfully) disagree all the time.

To make a real positive impact on the world, I need strength, drive, discipline, perseverance, a positive mindset, and an understanding of the world I want to change. The obstacles that I faced in my junior year helped me develop these traits and prepared me for the future I envision for myself. I transferred to a new school during COVID-19 and attended class online for the first nine weeks. I was incredibly lonely and lost and unaccustomed to the heavy workload that came with my advanced courses. Then, in September, my younger brother attempted suicide and was hospitalized, and shortly after he was discharged, my grandmother passed away. My mental health plummeted, making my workload even more unmanageable. I eventually went to school in person, and although I had yet to develop close relationships, I started connecting with my peers. Unfortunately, things spiraled again when my uncle developed cancer and passed away, and three months later, one of my classmates was tragically murdered. The severe shock and trauma I endured made succeeding at school extremely challenging, and my mental health suffered incredibly. Despite all my struggles and the challenges I faced, I was determined to heal- I worked on my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and prioritized my well-being. I built a positive mindset, one step at a time, to pull myself out of the darkness. It's like the saying, "you can't pour from an empty cup." With the work I did to "refill my empty cup," I've gained the ability and the strength to pursue my goals, support the people around me, and make an impact in society. This school year, I joined a student-led organization called Eagle Tutors because I like teaching, helping, and putting my knowledge to use. When I contacted the first tutee that I was assigned, her parents asked me what my "rates" were. Since I'm a volunteer, I didn't have a rate and found it strange that my tutee was looking to pay for tutoring. But then, I heard that a couple of my friends tutored younger kids for pay and realized that paid tutoring was a common academic support service that many parents use. This kind of service requires financial resources that students from lower and middle-income families don't have. I often discuss the issue of how these students are disadvantaged in the schooling system. It's saddening how almost everything comes with a price tag (extracurricular activities, college applications, SAT preparation, etc.), making it more difficult for these students to succeed. Volunteering as a tutor is a small but meaningful way to help bridge this gap. Often, tutoring with teachers is not enough, especially in a big school of 5000+ students like mine. Teachers only have so much time, and many students get overlooked; I can give my tutees the attention and time that isn't provided by their teachers and help them succeed. I'm not sure what career path I want to follow yet, but my true aspiration is to identify and solve the root of important issues. I'm concerned about the cycle of poverty in America for people of color, and I want to break this cycle somehow. I don't have extensive knowledge on this issue and have no idea what the realistic solutions could be— I aim to explore this in college. I want to fight so that there isn't a wealth gap and money doesn't play a part in students' success. My goal is to find the right path- one where I can make the most of my abilities to dedicate my life to doing whatever I can to help others.