It is a well known fact that teaching what you learn is an effective method of solidifying your learning. This holds true for me, and is one of many ways I strive to bring my learning outside of the classroom. When I was young, I would come home and spew random bits of knowledge at my parents, which would spark conversations about literature, philosophy, and science. Now, I find that in order for me to retain knowledge, rather than have it go in one ear and out the other, I need to find a way to make it relevant outside of the classroom, which requires fostering a love of learning beyond the classroom, and a willingness to start conversations about topics that would otherwise be bound to school hours. Lately, I have found that the practice of making my learning pertinent has been most effective when I have read up on international affairs and politics outside of my international affairs classes, and when my fellow Spanish-studiers and I have resolved to keep in touch over the summer exclusively in Spanish. It is much more rewarding to find your learning interesting, and by choosing how and why I study my two majors, I am much more inclined to remember and engage with my studies, inside and outside the classroom.

My mom passed along my grandmother's words of wisdom last year, which take time to learn, but nonetheless offer comfort and presence in trying times. This too, shall pass. These four words have been restated dozens of ways, with different nuances conveying the importance of resilience and gratitude. At first, when she shared these words with me, she only planted a seed of thought, but in time, the seed grew into a background thought in my mind when I felt hopeless, and then into a reminder of gratitude for the present when I found myself enjoying life, because that too, would pass. And now, it is a seedling among several seeds of thought, but it crosses my mind more often than the other phrases and bits of advice I have been given over the years. It is true that there are pieces of advice that are better equipped for certain situations, and that some phrases may hold absolutely no meaning for one person, and serve as a mantra for another. "This too, shall pass" has anchored me in depressions, strengthened my gratitude in tolerable times, and grounded me in wonder of the ever-changing nature of life. Perhaps I will come across wiser words, and perhaps I have come across wiser words whose wisdom I have yet to understand. I am glad my mother passed along these words, and that they grew to mean more and more. I think that if these words have held meaning for three generations of women, all of whom have had different levels of life experience, they might have some value.

I love nature because it is one of the few places I can consistently rely on to make me feel better. I love nature because I have been lucky enough to see dozens of landscapes, each of which holds its own unique beauty. I love nature because I grew up in the mountains, because I am an earth sign, because my Montessori school taught me to spend hours outside every day, and because beauty and aesthetics make me slightly more peaceful. I spend a lot of my time trapped inside my mind, consumed with modern responsibilities, and detached from the here and now. There are not many people or practices that can help me break out of this funk, but I have never felt worse after spending even just 20 minutes outside. I am so grateful I was raised to enjoy the outdoors, and there are people I wish I could teach to love the outdoors as I do. If I had all the time and energy in the world, I would spend my days skiing and hiking through the mountains, listening to the wind in the trees, and wondering if the animals I see have the same thoughts I do. I do not have all the time and energy in the world, so I often spend my time climbing a tree or a mountain, or enjoying a meandering nature walk, or journaling next to a stream, or hammocking and reading. I have learned to return to nature to feel more at peace and in touch with myself. I think it makes perfect sense, because humans came from nature, even though we life so far from it now. I am grateful to know that I need the outdoors, and I would like to be reincarnated as a tree.

My family is littered with a number of mental health diagnoses, ranging from depression to bipolar to substance abuse. I have spent the last 4 years battling depression, anxiety, anorexia, and substance abuse, with meager success. My friends have faced a number of other mental health issues, which have broadened my perspective and ability to empathize with and understand different mental health challenges. As someone who has experienced consistent depression since 2018, I have learned not to criticize those who appear lazy or unmotivated, or those whose unrelenting pessimism becomes frustrating, or those who cannot act upon advice given to them. I have learned perhaps the most empathy in my deepest depressions, when I considered that perhaps everyone around me is on the brink of suicide, and that I might treat everyone with kindness and understanding rather than judgement and expectation. The empathy was always there, but its intensity used to fade as the depression lifted enough for me to see through the fog for a few weeks. Now, I have experienced so many cycles through tolerable and hopeless moods that I have learned to hold onto this empathy, regardless of my suffering at the moment. I have listened to enough people disclose their proximity to suicide when I had not suspected a single worry in their mind. It is all too common, as I very well know, as do many others. Who am I to assume that the person I am connecting with is not very much in need of an act of kindness to combat their unrelenting hopelessness and paralyzing mental health struggles. My relationships have deepened, as I have talked many friends through their rock bottoms, who have in return coaxed me away from self-isolation in the darkest of my depressions. I have watched a number of my relatives dwindle into dysfunction as a result of their mental health problems, and have mourned their joy and prospects, along with the rest of my family. I do not blame them, nor expect more productivity and happiness of them than they are capable of. It is heartbreaking to be criticized and ridiculed for your dysfunction when you are barely hanging on by a thread. I have learned not to comment on how others eat and exercise, and do not care to ever utter a single word that might trigger or enable a person's eating disorder, or disordered eating. I simply choose to model impartial enjoyment of food for its flavor, the process of cooking, and the connection that ensues from sharing a meal with another person. I will never comment on another person's insecurity, especially if it is weight-related, for I do not care to further the self-criticism and self-hatred that results from so many mental health struggles. I have learned not to make generalizations about diagnoses, behaviors, and outward appearances, because so often a person's inner world is wildly different from our perceptions of that person. These understandings, from my own experience with mental health and my interactions with loved ones who have experienced mental health, have inspired me to go about life with kindness and forgiveness, because I truly believe that most people are functioning as best as they can, and their behavior most often reflects their inner turmoil. I have spent a lot of time trying to be mindful, for the sake of myself and others, through active listening, empathy, and reflection. I hope I may be of service to those around me, in the ways I am able to, and this desire has shaped my goals in my career, my personal development, and the life I will create for myself. As of right now, one of my three life goals is to help others, and I imagine I will learn to do this in a lot of ways. I already do help others, though I know there is always improvement to be had. Perhaps I will help people through service in the Peace Corps or other non-profit organizations, or perhaps I will learn another language to be able to help those who I previously could not communicate with, or perhaps I will pay attention to how the different people in my life express their needs and fears, so that can better understand how to be of service to them. I do not know. I have become to approach the world with an attitude that many would describe as overly forgiving. I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to bring empathy to as many interactions as I can, without neglecting my own needs. I understand that many people in this world face a number of different mental health struggles, some of which I can only attempt to understand. I try to have conversations about mental health, in hopes of normalizing its prevalence and creating a safe space to give and receive support. I encourage those around me to seek out counseling, medication, and whatever other resources they may need to feel better. I try to speak without judgement, and I often wonder what internal struggles drive a person's behavior. Sometimes, I ask, if I have reason to believe it will not add to their stress. I intend to practice giving and receiving support, and hope to guide my younger siblings towards greater coping strategies and awareness so that they can have a head start on battling any mental health challenges they may come across. I want to do better, by myself and others, because mental health struggles are brutal, and no one should feel as if they are alone in a hopeless world.

The study of other cultures and nations paves the path for self-reflection by reminding us that there are endless methods of existing in the world, despite the manner in which we've been raised. In learning about the customs and languages and ways of being in other cultures, one begins to understand and accept differences, reflect upon and correct assumptions, and consider new ways of living. One's mindset can solidify in favor of a set of beliefs after an extended period of time in an environment, and through travelling to other cultures, one can be grounded in the variety of the world, and jolted out of restrictive mindsets. This culture shock can offer a new perspective of one's home country, a better understanding of why different ways of living might serve other people, and an opportunity to step outside of one's comfort zone. Perhaps one of the most educational elements of studying other cultures is the discomfort that accompanies an unfamiliar setting, the discomfort that forces an individual to adapt and learn and understand their surroundings. This discomfort is often telling of a person's biases, tendencies to judge, opportunities for improvement, and ability to engage on a multicultural level. If the person is aware of what the discomfort and unfamiliarity of being in a new culture is telling them, there is ample opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Thus, the practice of studying other cultures and nations tells us about our limits, our shortcomings, our abilities to connect and adapt, and how our previous perspective compares to the perspective of those living an entirely different cultural life. The value of global exploration, if done ethically and respectfully, is incredibly valuable to the United States because it offers an avenue for citizens to reflect upon their own meaning-making, as well as their country's. In reflecting upon this, the United States can come to understand itself better, as well as the world around it. In a world where chaos and division characterizes much of the international media, global exploration can connect people across the globe, undo some of the chaos and violence by replacing it with more understanding, and allow the United States the opportunity to reconcile or improve relationships with other countries. If everyone in the United States never travelled beyond its borders, the same ideas and perceptions would circulate, and citizens would become increasingly insulated in their narrow worldview, resulting in alienation from the rest of the world. Multicultural engagement dissolves barriers, offers opportunities for growth, and replaces us vs. them thinking with connection and learning. The United States, being the melting pot that it is, is dependent upon global exploration and engagement to understand its own roots, fulfill its own role in the international order, and adapt to an interconnected and globalized world.

An important life lesson I've learned is to meet people where they're at, myself included. Much of my academic career has been tainted by perfectionism, and subsequently, disappointment and self-deprecation. I've always been one to push my limits until I no longer had a choice. Getting my first B was devastating, humbling, disorienting, necessary. Surprisingly, getting my first C came as less of a shock. It was worth an imperfect GPA to no longer reach the brink of anxiety and pressure every few months, and instead, acknowledge my limits, my shortcomings, my needs. Letting myself take mental health days and learning to give myself the grace needed to find balance in this world were monumental. My mom always said, everything in moderation. When I finally found experiences close enough to me to apply meaning to that phrase, I began to understand the weight of its wisdom. It is neither beneficial nor sustainable to expect perfection, and while high standards offer direction and a path to improvement, the highest of standards are out of reach, and will only deflate your sense of competence. Thus, I reward myself with exceedingly average goals, so that I can savor the bits of success without normalizing unsustainable behavior. Celebrating success wouldn't be celebrating success if it happened every day. The same logic applies to other people. I am kinder and more understanding of others when I expect them to be human, not perfect. I am more at peace with myself and with them when I meet them where they're at, strengths and flaws alike. I am less disappointed when I expect the varieties and unpredictabilities of human behavior, myself included. I can wish for or work towards better, but am accepting of and thankful for the diversity of the experience of life. I am not paralyzed by anxiety or hardened by frustration when I dismantle perfectionism in place of acceptance. I feel more in tune with my values and priorities when I can step away from unhelpful expectations. I find myself being a more well-rounded individual when I don't get caught up in perfecting one area of life, or one relationship, or one method of measuring success. And I connect more authentically with others when I meet them for who they are rather than for who I wish they would be. I learn more from others when I don't try to argue against, or change their opinions. I am in the present when I let loose the shackles of perfectionism and become comfortable with a variety of outcomes. Reality is a broad spectrum of experiences, many of which fall far from the end of perfection. I am glad to have become more comfortable with disappointment, or rather acceptance. Being able to meet myself where I'm at has granted me the time to heal myself, the space to grow, and the understanding to persevere. I'm grateful to have recognized that just because I can push my limits, doesn't mean I should, or that it's worth it. Being able to meet others where they're at has granted me the patience to learn from others, the time to reflect on the assumptions I make about others, and the ability to connect in ways I would not have allowed myself to before.

1. I don't. I am seriously underqualified and all I've done to merit the opportunity to apply for this scholarship is stumble across what appeared to be more entertaining than other scholarship opportunities. I'm no more deserving of this scholarship than Trump was of presidency. Oops, that was probably inappropriate for a scholarship application. Anyways, point proven. I do not deserve this scholarship. 2. My main academic goal is to learn absolutely nothing. My hope is that I can spend years working to pay for my education so that everything I have the privilege of learning goes in one ear and out the other. If my head isn't completely empty by May of 2025 I will consider my collegiate years to have been a colossal failure. 3. In the past, I've not done well with New Year's resolutions. I wanted to know why I couldn't seem to make good habits last in the long run, and realized that the past few years, I had suffocated myself with all-or-nothing burdensome resolutions. This year, I made a list of intentions, and acknowledged that it would be unrealistic to stick to every single one. Needless to say, it made very little difference. Consider the obstacle only slightly conquered.

One of my favorite hobbies is skiing. It used to be a competitive sport for me, but over time, as I've experienced injuries, shifted priorities, forgone and rediscovered activities, it has morphed into a hobby. It's a beautiful thing to grow up in the Rocky Mountains, learn to ski at the age of 3, and experience a number of different settings and dynamics through which I can connect with nature, move my body in a way that feels good to me (the absence of diet culture and extreme competition is such a blessing), and connect with fellow mountain lovers. The winding drive up the mountain, the brief breakfast stop along the way, the chairlift conversations, the deep breath of crisp air as you move down the mountain. Skiing is one of the few activities that will always make me smile like an idiot. I can't even begin to fathom the problems I face on the front range when I'm zooming down a mountain surrounded by trees, snow of all sorts, and fellow skiers. It's exhilarating to relax in the frigid air at 30 miles per hour. The numb face and sore limbs symbolize a day well spent, commending my choice to spend time, effort and money on ski gear and gas driving up, in spite of the cold, the micro injuries, the expense. I feel blessed when I look back on the hours of conversation, connection, and silent appreciation I've experienced on lift rides up. I've never not enjoyed lounging in a lodge, thawing myself, enjoying the view, and eating mediocre food that's good enough because its warm. The winding drive back down to life through the mountains can only be described as peaceful, as the fatigue and sunburn settle in in the best way possible. I'm impartial to mountains, and to the sport I can no longer compete in, but I can barely describe the joy skiing has always brought me, unlike the inconsistent endeavors I've begun with other hobbies and activities. If I could ski every day, I would. But I can't. So instead, I ski when I can, because it makes me happy and peaceful and grounded. There are very few things in the world that can make me smile like an idiot, but skiing can, and that's pretty cool.

The most helpful piece of financial advice I ever received was one I stumbled across on Instagram a few years back. Someone relayed their father's advice for saving, which was to save all the hundreds in a paycheck, and make the remaining balance last until the next paycheck. For example, if you receive a paycheck for $456, put $400 into savings, and use the remaining $56 to cover expenses and spending until the next paycheck. I've always been one to save money from my paychecks, but this trick helped me save even more, while promoting conscious spending (especially when the leftover balance was a small amount). I like this piece of advice because it simplifies saving and financial responsibility with an easy, tangible rule. Often, I receive financial advice that is complex, or vague, or irrelevant to my current financial situation, but this rule provides direction, simplicity, and efficiency. It's incredible how much time and energy you can save by saving money instead of spending every paycheck. This method has allowed me to work really hard for a few months, and then fund a semester of college so I have time to settle in with less stress. It has allowed me to save and take time off for road trips and socializing, and internships. There is value in consistent working and saving, and I've done that too. But it is comforting to have a savings cushion for whatever life throws at you or for whatever you pursue in life. I've passed this trick onto friends and little siblings, and it appears to work well.