What makes a happy family? Vacations every year, not having to worry if I will be able to eat dinner, receiving a good education, no divorced parents... I should have the perfect family, right? That is what everyone tells me; I have everything so good. I cannot possibly have problems. Well, I guess the world is not as simple as people believe it to be. With three older brothers, my parents, and myself, it has always been chaotic in my household. Chaos is not a problem; the problem is when that chaos covers up all the secrets and issues that need to be brought to light. People say genetics and childhood are two of the largest indicators of mental health issues, and my family may just be the perfect example of it. My father’s side of the family has always been close and loving, so there is not much evidence of mental issues from them. My mother’s life is a far different story; almost every generation of her lineage has had some type of mental disturbance although they are reluctant to admit it to younger family members. From a diabetic, alcoholic grandfather to a depressed mother, my mom never had it easy in life. Having to take care of her sister, grandfather, and mother since the age of five, she has always been burdened and pressured by the woes of life. Her solution? Drinking. My mother has always told me that if she could change one thing about her life it would be to never have picked up a drink at eighteen. She did pick it up, though, and has been an alcoholic ever since. After her arrest a few years ago, she started going to AA to stay sober. That only lasted a year, during which she also picked back up on cigarettes and started a nicotine addiction. She only sometimes admits to having problems, and when she does, she refuses to solve them, preferring to “medicate with booze.” I understand she has always had a lot on her plate, but it is no excuse for the behavior she relies on. Unfortunately, any time we try to get help for her, she refuses, which has pushed all her children away from home. My mother has many ailments that our family has had to overcome, but it does not stop with her. As I mentioned, mental health is genetic, so my siblings have also suffered. My oldest brother has had moderate depression for years and my second oldest brother left home at seventeen to escape the atmosphere of pressure and conflict. The youngest of the three, however, is by far the worst. He was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder and tried to commit suicide at least twice before I ever even turned twelve. I do not know how many more times he attempted it, but I still see scars along his arms and legs of the cuts he has made over the years... remarkably similar to my own. We are extremely close now that we are both older, and I could not imagine my life without him. Even though he struggles daily, he still finds ways to bring life to everyone else around him. Recently, he told me of his plans to stop taking medication as he hates the idea of being stuck taking pills every day for the rest of his life. I cannot blame him for this decision, but it does make me incredibly nervous; I call or text every day just to ensure he will respond. Although he seems to be doing better than prior times he weaned off his prescription, it is still important to make sure he will not spiral again. I love everyone in my family, and it pains me to see them struggling so often. So, what about me? I could not be worse than that. It is impossible. Is it? Well, to be completely honest, I do not know. I have never been one to self-diagnose although I have shown signs of disorders ranging from bipolar to autism to OCD. I guess my brain is just scattered all over the place. Since my mother was always bringing her mother to doctor appointments and my brother to psychiatrist appointments, I was never allowed to go to a therapist. I had tried since I was ten years old but was always told by my mother, “There are too many people for me to take care of already. You’re fine.” I still remember sitting in my dad’s car telling him that and asking him to bring me instead; all he would ever say was to ask my mother again because he did not want to deal with it. I could comprehend that they were tremendously busy, but it still changed something in my mind to think I was a burden every time I asked for help. I still asked a few more times; at ten, I was told to make my own appointment and drive, and in high school, I was told I would be leaving for college soon, so it was not worth it. I finally started therapy with the school counselors this semester and it has started to help me deal with the stresses I have carried through life, although there is still a long way to go. It may be a lot, but I am grateful for all those experiences. They taught me how to be patient and kind to others, increased my empathy for people, and provided me with coping mechanisms of my own. You can never know what someone else may be going through, so it is important to always put yourself in their shoes before reacting. I always try to carry these morals with me now and think of my family when helping someone in need. I will definitely change my parenting style for my own children in the future, and make sure that they know they are loved because that is more powerful than any mental health issue.

When people think of technology, they usually imagine computers, cars, or robotics, but those do not even compare to some other forms of technology. The shovel, while basic and primitive, is one of the most important advancements humans could make. The design of shovels has stayed consistent, only changing in terms of materials used. From antlers and bones to plastic and metal, they still have essential uses for anyone outside. Shovels may seem like an arbitrary and outdated tool with all the automation of today’s world, but that could not be farther from the truth. Used for digging and loosening soil, moving materials, uprooting plants, compaction, and leverage against heavy objects, they are essential to the growing of crops, creation of landscapes, and so many other agricultural tasks humans needed to complete to survive in the ancient world and make the modern world far easier. When humans were nomadic, this instrument was not needed, but as we became more sedentary, equipment for farming became more important. To feed entire populations, farmers had to be quick, efficient, and high-quality in the work they output. Clearly, they were able to as people quickly grew in numbers and progressed to the current level of advancements. Over time, tools like the shovel, plow, and sickle gave way to newer machinery by inspiring inventors and farmers through their designs and uses. Boom sprayers, automated seed-sowing machines, skid steers, electric augers, and so many more appliances have made the agriculture industry even more productive than before, which is incredibly important as humans find increasing uses for plants, livestock, and other agricultural products for the increasing demands of today's social climate. While these inventions are extremely useful, they should not discredit the necessity of shovels and definitely cannot replace them. Not everyone has access to or funds for large equipment, but shovels, from flat to pointed, are affordable, sturdy, and durable for a long time, making the investment worthwhile for anyone who may use it. They are the basis of so much work, and thus cannot be forgotten by the farmers, gardeners, and anyone who constantly finds value in their existence. While many different forms of technology have advanced humans, sometimes the best is the simplest. Shovels pushed sedentary agriculture and have helped complete tasks for years without needing to evolve. They have inspired newer technology and have proved never to become obsolete.

After managing a greenhouse all day for work, I will be greeted by respectful my children and loving husband at home with the dinner we will eat as a close-knit, kind, and motivated family.