Strong, solid, unbreakable. What is resilience? In my opinion, resilience isn’t just being physically tough, it’s mostly about being mentally tough. It’s being adaptable, strong-willed, confident! So, I will ask, once again, what is resilience? Well, resilience is me.
On January 1, 2019, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Being fourteen years old, I was a late case. Usually, kids are diagnosed between the ages of four and six. After the doctors broke the news, they informed me that my blood sugar was probably around the 900s that morning. Who would have thought one bite of a banana or even a sip of juice would have taken me away from my loved ones? The month following my return home from the hospital would either make me or break me.
Becoming a T1D changes everything: friendships, the way you eat, being an athlete, even your personality. That first month of being diagnosed involved me learning about who I now was. All I knew coming home was that I was a fourteen-year-old girl, halfway through my freshman year of high school, with a lifelong disease. I had a choice: to either rise above my literal highs and lows or to crash and burn and let it destroy me. I chose the easy route and began to nose-dive straight into the ground. There was no way I could keep my blood sugar balanced while playing softball. I was always either above my target glucose range, or below it (both life-threatening). I promised my family I would finish the season, but then I was done. At school, I was quiet. No one knew me anymore, I didn’t even know myself. All I could do was fight to hold on to whatever “normal” I had left. It wasn’t until the end of January that life began to go a little smoother.
I was laying on the floor of my room (my comfort zone at the time, still is actually) staring at the ceiling. I pulled out my phone and went to YouTube, looking for something to occupy my mind. Little did I know that I was one tap away from my saving grace. On my recommended page was a video by a Christian poet. I grew up trusting in God and knowing about him and his love, but I never watched anything religious nor poetic. At that moment, I realized how I lost connection with Him since joining the T1D community. I listened intently as the narrator’s powerful, rhythmic words flowed out. One part caught my attention: “With the seatbelt sign turned on, and the man in the aisle seat white knuckles on the armrest, I remind him that no plane has ever crashed from turbulence. But, if we had the choice don’t you think most passengers would give up before it passes? What if, on the ground, we had no choice but to strap in and wait it out?”
To this day, that the phrase “no plane has ever crashed from turbulence,” has stuck with me. It shaped my mindset and how I not only viewed life but also my disease. When things got rough I just had to hold on until the storm passed. This is turn taught me to be mentally tough, to be able to adapt, to stay true to myself, to be confident. It taught me to be resilient!