Dani being my older sister, was the only one in my family who understood preteen me. She who loved to draw the implications of humans and their emotions onto a blank sheet of paper. She was the cooler sibling who always looked like she had her life together when she obviously didn’t. She wanted to be a chemist but always struggled with math letting the long nights of review with my father tear her down. The constant stream of you are not good enough. She struggled with depression and Borderline personality disorder courtesy of my father. She let the monsters get into her head, making sure she knew what was wrong with her. Body image was the biggest monster in her head. My mother would always comment on how she ate like a bird, I used to be jealous of that comment because I wanted to be skinny and eat as little as her. Only now that I’ve grown up have I realized how horrifying that comment really is. Freshman year, January 2019, my sister had been missing for five days. My mother couldn’t file a missing report because Dani was well into her early twenties. When Dani left she told me she was going to the bank. I barely glanced at her as I sat at the dining table drawing but I told her to come back home safe, she didn’t reply. It had been two days when the realization hit me, I cried in my mother's arms that night. My mom had begged the police to give her the location of her daughter, my sister. They had given her the location and she made her way to the park where she would find my sister's body. I had to continue on with life, with school as if nothing happened. I was surrounded by immature 14 year olds who didn’t understand the implications of losing a family member. But my teachers understood especially my Human Geography teacher Mr. Valentin where even if I showed up an hour late he always told me I had time. I couldn’t fully process the grief of losing my sister. I would often find myself watching or reading a series where I could take my mind off the pain. School proved to be the hardest part but also my saving grace. I had found the people who would help me through my grieving process and they are still with me through my senior year. Although I didn’t give my best work freshman year and definitely not my best attendance I persevered through my dual credit and AP classes and achieved all A’s. I wasn’t as proud of the A’s as I was proud of school being over. But I had done it, and now I have graduated from High school and College getting not only my diploma but an Associate's Degree as well. I have done what she had always wanted to do, and I have done so in her name.