It was June of 2018, I was 21 years old, looking down at 2 pink lines thinking, how am I going to do this.
I knew that motherhood was an absolute blessing, and there was nothing more than I had dreamed of in life than to be a mother. My story is not how I pictured my motherhood journey going, but life works in unexpected ways, and you must learn to roll with it!
I shortly learned not only was I going to be a mother, but I was going to be a single mom, doing this completely on my own.
I was devastated, I did not have a steady well-paying career, I was living paycheck to pay check with just myself, how would I make it work with myself and a baby? I knew I had to pull myself together, because this child did not ask to be brought into this world, so it was my job to make sure I provided for him and gave him the best possible life.
I found out I was expecting a baby boy, my heart was full, I knew that boys loved their mama’s, and I couldn’t wait to meet him! I decided on the name Levi Daniel.
My pregnancy became high risk, I was still able to work my nanny job, but I knew that would be coming to an end in January because that was when Levi would make his arrival. I tried to save up as much as I could, but I knew it would not be enough to support us for long. I started to come up with a plan for when I had him, and what my career options were, I had many ideas, but I did not act on them as I knew I would be unable to work soon.
January 29th 2019, there he was, a beautiful 6 pound 6 ounces boy with black hair crying as they held him up by my head while operating on me during the c-section. My entire world was so different now, nothing else mattered but this little boy looking up at me. I finally understood all the “cliché” things people would say. I truly did not know I could feel so much love towards a tiny human I was meeting for the first time. I put my finger in his hand, and he grabbed it, I told him “Mommy is going to make you proud, it is you and me sweet boy, but that’s all we need, we got this.”
Around March 2019, I decided to go to a Pima Medical and look at applying for the Respiratory Therapist program. It was going to be 22 months long, and the salary was going to be more than enough. I knew I wanted to work healthcare because I really enjoy caring for others, but then as always, life throws the unexpected. Covid-19 came, the school program was paused. I could not find a job, we were stuck in lockdown. I wasn’t able to go to school, I felt so hopeless, all I wanted was to start school, get my degree and work to build our life.
We ended up evicted from our apartment when the eviction moratorium was over, that was my rock bottom.
We ended up moving in with my parents, we were very lucky for them to take us in. We waited for Covid to blow over, but it seemed to go on forever. I was fortunate to get a job at the Hospital as a Phlebotomist, it did not pay much, but it was something, and I had a feeling it was going to open many doors for me.
August 2021 my parents decided to retire and move to Arizona, of course we went with them because I had their only Grandchild, and they were all the help I had. I kept working as a Phlebotomist, but it started to seem like that wouldn’t get us anywhere. I started paying close attention to other career paths around me in the hospital, I still had a lot of interest in Respiratory especially after the chaos of Covid.
June 2023 I started Respiratory School. I had faith in myself. I did not know how I was going to do it, but I knew I didn't have a choice, I was ready to have a good career and be financially stable and have our own place again. I knew being a Mother, Student, and full-time worker was not going to be easy, but wow it has been very difficult. I went through heart break, my sons autism diagnosis, feeling like quitting, dealing with depression, getting in mass amounts of debt from taking out loans to make it through school.
I barley get to see my Son between in person classes each morning followed by working from after class until night time. It has not only been a struggle for myself, but I notice the behavior changes in Levi and it makes it more difficult for me to be ok being gone so much. It has been a mental struggle feeling like I am trying to give us a better life, all while feeling like I was failing him by not being around as much as I felt like a mom should be.
During school I have also participated in clinical hours for 7 weeks at a time, which also meant I was working 36 hours at clinicals each week while working 40 hours each week at my actual job.
My car decided to break down this year, and I ended up having to buy a new one. Financially it was not ideal. Through the last 2 years I've managed all a's and b's.
I graduate in 4 months and I can finally see the light at the end. I've almost officially made it and I could not be more proud. I want Levi to know you can do anything you put your mind to. Thank you.