If I were to receive $1000 right this minute (11:15 AM April Ist), I would put it in my bank account, and it would pretty much just sit there. This does not sound particularly exciting, but after the following explanation, I think you will agree that I have a perfectly satisfactory potential use for these one thousand potential dollars. Right now, I spend about $40 per week on gasoline to drive 25 minutes each way to my full-time job. Since I am currently living at home, I do not have any other regular expenses. This past year, I took a break from college, lived at home, and worked a full-time job, and most of my earnings are now sitting in the bank. But by this fall, I will have earned enough to cover tuition and living expenses for another semester of college. So at that time, I plan to begin utilizing these funds toward that end. What about that additional $1000 that would theoretically be vegging out in my bank account? Well, I need one more full year of college in order to graduate. I will not have earned enough from my job by the time college starts to cover the entire year; in fact, I will still be roughly $15,000 short of the necessary amount. Thus an additional $1000 would not be at all superfluous.

1. I singlehandedly saved the entire state of Ohio from being abducted by aliens. How did I do it? It's complicated, but it involved entering the alien spacecraft in an invisible segway (which could fly) and disabling the robots that had been designed to complete the abduction. Does it really matter if Ohio is abducted by aliens? Well, that's a good question, but defeating aliens is pretty cool nonetheless. 2. My career goal is to design invisible, eco-friendly flying vehicles that are capable of space travel and aren't as dumb as segways (even invisible segways FEEL ridiculous). 3. See nos. 1 and 2.