I am entering my second year of college at Drew University where I am obtaining my bachelor of science in biology with a chemistry minor. While at school I am a part of the women's swim team, a member of active minds (mental health advocacy club), and I am a student worker for the athletic department. I enjoy the grind and love to meet people. I am from Cleveland, Ohio and I am proud of it. I think it is a unique city to be from. When at home I enjoy spending time at the beaches of Lake Erie, running in the Cleveland Metro Parks and exploring new restaurants. When at home I am a caddie at a country club, and I work as a dental assistant at a local woman owned, all women dental practice. It is super empowering to work with all women in the STEM field. If I'm not at the office, I am on the course reading putts and carrying golf bags. I enjoy being out on the course, and I am one of four female caddies you can find at the club. Growing up I was always told I resemble my father. As I have aged it has only become more prevalent. I am proud of that. My father has influenced my life in so many positive ways. He is a hard worker by extreme standards. He put himself through college while playing collegiate soccer and working two jobs. He then put himself through graduate school. He is now one of the top perfusionists in the country at the best hospital in the country. He has taught me how hard work will eventually pay off even if it is not always easy. Throughout my life he has been there every step pushing me to be my best. He has taught me that it is okay to fall down but getting back up is what makes you better. He has influenced me so much throughout my life and everything I have done. Not only is he my biggest influence but he is also my role model. I look up to him and I value his opinions and thoughts. He has instilled a drive in me to be my best, however he has taught me that it is okay to start from the bottom because everyone starts somewhere. I look up to my father everyday. He works extremely hard and I aspire to follow in his footsteps. He has taught me knowledge that I will take throughout the rest of my life. My dad entered college as a first generation college student. He worked by unimaginable standards to achieve a degree in mathematics. After he obtained his degree he took a year off to work and figure out what he was going to do. During this year he stumbled upon perfusion school. He applied to the three programs that existed at the time, and decided on the Cleveland Clinic perfusion program. He has since been at the Cleveland Clinic. He has thrived in his role. He loves to share his care for his patients with me, including letting me shadow him a few times. Growing up under him he has shaped my views on most things. He loves me for who I am and does not put pressure on me to be perfect. He tells me it is always more important to be a good person than to be the smartest. I have taken this to heart and it has shaped how I have grown up.

I first knew that I was struggling internally when I would go to school and didn’t have the energy to even speak to others. I just did my work and kept quiet. I was drained of all emotion. I was spiraling, but I was unsure why. I did not understand what was happening to me. I pushed it down. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I worked myself so hard each day. Between school work, soccer and band I would come home and crash. I pushed away all my emotions. I wasn’t able to control my thoughts, so I took to controlling my eating. However, that resulted in an unhealthy way of coping with my struggles. It did not take long before my struggles really surfaced and began to cause problems. Asking for help was extremely difficult for me. I am very independent. Mental health is greatly stigmatized in our country. This stigma makes one feel like a failure when they need help, such as counseling. I was terrified to go. Mental health is not a linear recovery. I have good and bad days, but I have learned how to better deal with the bad and take advantage of the good. Although I was terrified to ask for help, I am glad I did. I know that my decision to ask for help will benefit me in many ways. It is hard to ask for help, but I have learned so much since doing so. Going to counseling and asking for help has allowed me to learn how to approach life and deal with good and bad situations. I learned that everyone struggles, but facing a struggle head on is admirable. I would not be the person I am today without having learned it is okay to ask for and accept help. I learned that I can take a problem, acknowledge it and learn to make it better. I know that the knowledge I have learned and acquired will forever help me throughout my life. I will not be paralyzed by my struggles, I will use them to build strength.

From the outside it would appear that I have my life together. I am quiet but hard working. I always take care of business. Yet on the inside, no one would know that there is a constant battle. A battle against myself. A battle that quite literally took over my life. Mental health is something that many people take for granted. Often, one does not think about mental health until it becomes an issue. It became an issue for me. I first knew that I was struggling internally when I would go to school and didn’t have the energy to even speak to others. I just did my work and kept quiet. I was drained of all emotion. I was spiraling, but I was not sure why. I did not understand what was happening to me. I pushed it down. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I worked myself so hard each day. Between school work, soccer and band I would come home and crash. I pushed away all my emotions. I wasn’t able to control my thoughts, so I took to controlling my eating. However, that resulted in an unhealthy way of coping with my struggles. It did not take long before my struggles really surfaced and began to cause problems. I just thought I was going through a rough patch. I was having a rough soccer season. I was overwhelming myself by studying all hours of the night. I was cruelly treated by a teacher. I was simply not having it. My new normal became going to bed in tears every single night for almost three months. I just kept telling myself I was being dramatic, nothing that bad was happening. I convinced myself that it would all be better once soccer ended and swim season started. To my dismay it did not get better. I was spiraling out of control. It felt like I was on the outside watching myself. I had no control over my actions. I was snapping at people for no reason, I could barely drag myself to school, I couldn’t even hold a conversation. I was barely holding onto relationships in my life. I was not sure what to do or how to fix things. I felt stuck. I remember one night I sat in my car after a soccer game and sobbed. I felt like I had no purpose to be here. I could not see myself continuing because I felt so useless. Then finally I broke down one night. I told my mom I was so unhappy with my life and I tried and tried but I could not make myself happy. I felt like I had failed because I could no longer be happy. As difficult as I knew it would be I needed to ask for help. Asking for help was extremely difficult for me. I am very independent. Mental health is greatly stigmatized in our country. This stigma makes one feel like a failure when they need help, such as counseling. I was terrified to go. Mental health is not a linear recovery. I have good and bad days, but I have learned how to better deal with the bad and take advantage of the good. Although I was terrified to ask for help, I am glad I did. I know that my decision to ask for help will benefit me in many ways. It is hard to ask for help, but I have learned so much since doing so. Going to counseling and asking for help has allowed me to learn how to approach life and deal with good and bad situations. I learned that everyone struggles, but facing a struggle head on is admirable. I would not be the person I am today without having learned it is okay to ask for and accept help. I learned that I can take a problem, acknowledge it and learn to make it better. I know that the knowledge I have learned and acquired will forever help me throughout my life. I will not be paralyzed by my struggles, I will use them to build strength.

From the outside it would appear that I have my life together. I am quiet but hard working. I always take care of business. Yet on the inside, no one would know that there is a constant battle. A battle against myself. A battle that quite literally took over my life. Mental health is something that many people take for granted. Often, one does not think about mental health until it becomes an issue. It became an issue for me. I first knew that I was struggling internally when I would go to school and didn’t have the energy to even speak to others. I just did my work and kept quiet. I was drained of all emotion. I was spiraling, but I was not sure why. I did not understand what was happening to me. I pushed it down. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I worked myself so hard each day. Between school work, soccer and band I would come home and crash. I pushed away all my emotions. However, that resulted in an unhealthy way of coping with my struggles. It did not take long before my struggles really surfaced and began to cause problems. I just thought I was going through a rough patch. I was having a rough soccer season. I was overwhelming myself by studying all hours of the night. I was cruelly treated by a teacher. I was simply not having it. My new normal became going to bed in tears every single night for almost three months. I just kept telling myself I was being dramatic, nothing that bad was happening. I convinced myself that it would all be better once soccer ended and swim season started. To my dismay it did not get better. I was spiraling out of control. It felt like I was on the outside watching myself. I had no control over my actions. I was snapping at people for no reason, I could barely drag myself to school, I couldn’t even hold a conversation. I was barely holding onto relationships in my life. I was not sure what to do or how to fix things. Then finally I broke down one night. I told my mom I was so unhappy with my life and I tried and tried but I could not make myself happy. I felt like I had failed because I could no longer be happy. As difficult as I knew it would be I needed to ask for help. Asking for help was extremely difficult for me. I am very independent. Mental health is greatly stigmatized in our country. This stigma makes one feel like a failure when they need help, such as counseling. I was terrified to go. Mental health is not a linear recovery. I have good and bad days, but I have learned how to better deal with the bad and take advantage of the good. Although I was terrified to ask for help, I am glad I did. I know that my decision to ask for help will benefit me in many ways. It is hard to ask for help, but I have learned so much since doing so. Going to counseling and asking for help has allowed me to learn how to approach life and deal with good and bad situations. I learned that everyone struggles, but facing a struggle head on is admirable. I would not be the person I am today without having learned it is okay to ask for and accept help. I learned that I can take a problem, acknowledge it and learn to make it better. I know that the knowledge I have learned and acquired will forever help me throughout my life. I will not be paralyzed by my struggles, I will use them to build strength.