I am a second time college student and this time around is very different. In 2020, I graduated from Culinary School after two very fun years. My dad who is in the Army very kindly lent me his G.I Bill to pay my way through school. I did not experience many hardships because of this. I was able to manage the little school work outside of cooking classes and balance a social life because I luckily did not have to work. In 2023, after deciding that I am not cut out for the hospitality industry, I enrolled in a Community College and started working towards a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism. While I feel so much more secure in my decision now that I am a little older and wiser, I am experiencing new struggles. I am a full time nanny caring for a one year old boy and his family. I have moved out of my parents home to California which has granted me freedom and independence but at a great financial cost. However, I love this job and phase of my life because it fulfills my want to help my community and I feel how much personal growth is happening. I also plan to write children's books one day so I take this experience as a case study on what children like, how they behave and also an opportunity to learn what kind of mother I want to be one day. The downside is that it takes a very physical and mental toll caring for a young baby and then going home and taking care of myself. Any extra mental power put towards homework does not always result in the best work unfortunately but I am extremely motivated to finish my degree anyway. While the baby is napping and after I have cleaned up the house, I make time to write outlines for essays or to finish the last chapter of assigned reading. When I go home, I make it a priority to feed myself well and to find slivers of time to rest because I know that is so important. I do not always know how to find the healthiest balance in this time of my life but I am so grateful to be able to get another degree. I would appreciate this scholarship greatly and it would soothe some mental stress and help me build towards a bright future.

I picked up the iconic novel The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger a couple of months ago and quickly finished it in 4 days. I would recommend everyone to read it because it is so relevant and relatable to all ages despite it being published and written in the 1940’s. The story is told by the young main character Holden Caulfield as he aimlessly finds ways to distract himself from reality while drifting through New York City. The story starts abruptly in the middle of a crisis for him and feels like a long personal journal entry that any person at any age could have written. I fell in love with it because of his strong opinions and desire to be the best version of himself despite feeling an emptiness and disconnect from the world around him. I am sure most people, including myself, can relate to feeling like life can feel so overwhelmingly unfulfilling sometimes through our interactions with others or our relationship with ourselves. That feeling of wanting deep connection, feeling lonely and not knowing what to do to cure it is explained so well with how Holden behaves in the novel. It made me sad but hopeful, heartbroken and understood all at once. This is my favorite feeling to have after reading something. To know that I am not alone. There is a need for direction or purpose in all of us that Holden is trying to find and the pressure of not being able to name that purpose can be crushing. But I felt inspired by being reminded how young and naive humans can be at any stage and how feeling lost is not always a bad thing. I recommend The Catcher in the Rye because it is great for connecting the reader to that side of them that is curious, adventurous, and lost. Moving through those emotions in every stage of life is important and powerful.

Back in 2021 in the midst of a small dip in COVID cases, I was invited by a friend to take a small dance class, fully masked up and socially distanced. I had always been interested in dancing since I was little but only as a sedentary viewer. The “Step Up” movies and dance moves on my ‘Just Dance’ Wii video game were an obsession for me and while I always admired dancers, I was too terrified to put myself out there enough to be one. So it took some convincing and a lot of anxiety before I said yes to showing up to that specific class which was called “Beginner Heels”. I had not heard of this style before but on that day something in me shifted. After this initial class where we learned how to stride confidently across the floor like a cat and do an 8 count freestyle solo, I was mortified. I had so rarely in my life allowed myself to be put in a position where everyone would look at me on purpose. That class helped me face myself in the mirror, and after the fear and embarrassment I often put on myself wore off, I craved another class. So I went back every Thursday to learn how to walk safely in dancing heels and I became dedicated to improving my strength and smoothness in movement. I was one of the most wobbly and insecure dancers there for a long time. But still, class after class I would watch back the videos we took at the end of class and be amazed that I was looking at myself. I wasn’t performing well consistently but I was trying and putting myself in a situation that I was just the right amount of uncomfortable in to help me grow. I kept this up for three years and today I am definitely not the most technical dancer, but this interest I had in dancing as a kid is an active part of my daily life. I am on a local dance team called “The Phoenix Dancers” with a group of strong and empowered people that love to dance too. I have lost weight I thought I would never lose and gained an unwavering confidence that I never believed I was worthy of. Dancing helped me love and trust myself so I intend to keep doing it as long as I am healthy enough to. I am sorry for your loss of Frederick and Bernice Beretta. It sounds like they were well loved and will be remembered fondly. I would appreciate the opportunity to be considered to use their scholarship to further my education. Thank you!

Hello! My best friend is named Chloe and they have healed so many parts of me. In 2020, I moved to a small city in California at the height of the Corona Virus Pandemic. I could feel that the area was sleepy and slow paced even if there had not been an awful virus wreaking havoc on the world and I had just turned 21 so this was not necessarily the best case scenario for me personally. Luckily, I found a job as an Assistant Manager at a little shop where I believe my life started. Chloe was the only coworker my age out of our small 5 person team and despite the taboo manager to employee relationship, we started hanging out (as friends) whenever we could. Prior to meeting Chloe I was a shy girl who was always ready to say no to anything remotely new. Not because I didn't have the desire to try it but because my self-hatred kept me from even believing I was worthy of attempting it. Chloe helped me forget all about that through their love of nature. They took me on long hikes and on my terrifying first camping trip out in Bohemia Grove where we didn't set up a tent so I just stared at the sky twitching at every noise until sunrise. Chloe inspired me to face any fear I had and they took me to my first dance class which led me to fall in love with a particular style called heels. As I am writing this I am realizing I am listing all the ways I selfishly love Chloe because of the good they have done for me. However, Chloe is not just what they have done as my friend. They ooze kindness and always meet people with a warm smile and genuine question about how they are. In their presence, there is not an ounce of judgement and there is always a sense of freedom to speak your mind. They are so weird in the best way which allows others to feel safe doing so as well. They are the most talented musician: they taught themselves to play bass and clarinet but they are incredibly humble about it which is even more cool. They also moved to another city in California two years ago to get their Master's in Math! Because they are just so smart too. My best friend Chloe inspired me to explore the world and unlocked parts of me I thought were not worthy of sharing. I am so grateful they exist but even more grateful that they chose me to be their friend. I am sorry for the loss of your best friend CF Boleky. I cannot imagine what that feels like but if they were anything like my best friend, I am sure you were very lucky to know them and them to know you.

Hello! My name is Emilie Guzman and I am not only a unique writer but a unique human being. Luckily, I heard that all the time growing up from my supportive parents and loving teachers but at the time, I wanted to be anything but unique. I grew up with a father in the military which meant moving states and schools every three years. This took a toll on my the development of my personality and I felt shy and reserved during these years wishing to be accepted by the cycles of new faces around me. Now that I am 23, and I know that is still quite young in the span of my life, I feel so grateful to have had these experiences. I know what it is like to be uncomfortable and stuck in my own head. So I have since made that a beautiful and kind place to be for myself and for others through my writing. I believe that what I write is honest. I like to write about insecurity and self love which are things in my life that I will always have a constant battle with and I understand I am not the only one. I once hated myself because I did not understand what I was meant to be and I know I am not alone in that either. These painful feelings that I have allowed myself to move through come out in my writing and I believe those words have power. Power to connect to others feeling low and ashamed. I feel it is my purpose to make people feel seen and heard in my presence and I carry that into my writing. Reading fiction and joyfilled books was my favorite form of escapism as a child when I was moving around and I am hoping to get to that point in my writing one day. But I believe my voice is powerful and can change the world because I am the girl who does not shy away from herself and the unenjoyable darkest moments. True connection in writing and in life is only pure if there is truth and acceptance of one's uniqueness. I have fought to accept who I am and my words are going to be used to help others achieve that same thing. I am grateful to the Stahl Family for posting this scholarship in honor of Hilda Stahl and I hope to be considered. Thank you!