Dementia didn't just take my grandma, it stole pieces of my family. It started slow, you know? Back in 2015, we noticed she wasn't quite herself, forgetting things, repeating stories. But it wasn't too bad then. We thought, well, she's getting older. We didn't know what was coming.
Then my aunt died. That's when things went downhill fast. I wasn't there. Navigating a complex immigration system, I wasn't allowed to leave the USA during those losses. I lost my aunt without saying goodbye. That still hits me hard.
And then, Grandma... she just slipped away. Not all at once, but little by little. Her mind, her memories, they just faded. My mom was the one taking care of her, watching her disappear. She'd call me, tell me about the days, the struggles. You could hear the pain in her voice. It wasn't just losing her mom, it was losing her mom before she was gone. Dementia does that, it takes them away bit by bit.
I couldn't even be there for the end. I missed my aunt's funeral, and I missed saying goodbye to my grandma. She was gone, lost in her own world, but still... it hurt. It still hurts. My mom, she's still dealing with it. Grieving for the person she was, for the person she became, for the person she lost. It's like, you lose them three times over.
It's not just the person with dementia who suffers. The whole family does. You watch someone you love change, forget, disappear. You feel helpless. And you carry that with you. You don't get over it. You just learn to live with it, with the hole they left behind.
And honestly? I' was angry . I was angry at myself, at my mom's brother, her other sister, all the grandkids who were there, who saw what was happening, and did help much. They saw my mom struggling, they saw Grandma fading, and they did nothing to support my mom. I was thousands of miles away, unable to leave the USA, helpless. But they were there. They could've helped. They could've eased my mom's burden. But they didn't. They felt pity, sure. But pity doesn't help when you're watching a mother lose her mind. My mom and her husband went through all of this alone. That's not right.
But, you know, God bless my mom's heart. She got something none of us did: closure. During what they call "terminal lucidity," right before the end, Grandma recognized her. She knew my mom was her daughter. They told each other they loved each other, and my mom asked for forgiveness. It was like, for a moment, dementia let go. And two days later, Grandma had a sudden heart attack and she was gone. At least my mom had that. That moment of clarity from my grandma, that goodbye.
Losing my grandma and feeling so angry about it... it was really hard. But, actually, it didn't just make me sad. It kind of pushed me. Pushed me to think about becoming a nurse.
I really want to be someone who can help. Help people when they're sick, make their pain a little less. I also want to understand better what my grandma went through, and what my family felt. And if I understand, maybe I can make it easier for other people in that situation.
Being a nurse, I think it's more than just the medical stuff. I can help families learn how to manage, how to accept things, when they are dealing with dementia. I can show them how to make their home a good place, where everyone feels okay and understood. My mom didn't really have that kind of support, and I want to give that to others.
This whole experience really made me sure I want to work in healthcare. It connects to why this Henry Respert scholarship is important, I think. Like his family, I saw how much dementia changes things for everyone. I really want to work in this area, to understand it more and help reduce the suffering. My goal is to really make a difference for people with this disease, you know? For my grandma, and for my family too. That's what keeps me going. That's why I'm studying nursing.
Getting this scholarship would help me so much to reach that goal. It would mean less worrying about money for school. Then I can really focus on my classes and my training in the hospital. Less stress about paying bills means more energy to learn how to be a really good, caring nurse. So this scholarship isn't just about paying for school, it helps me follow this path, to really help families with dementia, which is what the scholarship is for, right?
Look, I know I'm probably not going to be the super smart scientist who finds the cure for dementia. But I really believe that taking care of people, supporting the families, is just as important. Maybe in my career, I can do more than just patient care. Maybe I can help teach people about dementia, or look into new ideas for care, like that place Hogeweyk in the Netherlands? They try to make sure people still live with dignity.
What I've seen tells me you need both things: research, yes, but also really kind, good care. Both are needed to fight this difficult disease. If I get help from the Henry Respert scholarship, I can finish my education and help work towards a time when people with dementia, and their families, get all the help and support they really need.