On October 31, 2022, my first semester of my Freshman year at Arizona State University, I got a phone call from my mom saying that my father had passed away. At this point I had no idea how he passed, I kept thinking maybe it was a stroke or heart attack. I flew back home to Illinois and at the O'Hare parking lot my mom pulled my sister and I out of the car and told us she found my dad dead with a gun in his hand. I could not stop crying. I cried and cried until I had no tears left. This impacted me because I was already struggling to fit into the college lifestyle. I felt like everything was going wrong since I moved into my dorm in August, and now my worst nightmare came true, I lost my dad... from suicide. Since I did not like being away from home and I struggled with it, I wanted to stay home for the rest of the semester. Thinking of going back after finding out what happen made my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach, but life keeps going on. Since I only had a couple weeks left of school, I pushed myself to go back so that I could finish off my first semester with good grades. And I did just that. I was so proud of myself for being able to go back to school with all the terrible news. Since this is all new to me, I have not yet overcane this loss, I have not learned anything yet, except that I am strong. I cannot hold myself back after this tradegy, I have to go out and fight harder everyday to continue to make my dad proud. I know that he is looking down on me and with me every single day. I know that he is in a happier place now and not suffering everyday down on Earth. It is hard not being able to call him to just talk, or to send him pictures of the things that I did, but he is now seeing it because not matter what he is by my side. Losing someone to suicide, makes me angry and sad. I continue to ask myself how could he do this to us? How could he take away his pain but leave the rest of us to grieve? But he was in much more pain then any of us could imagine. He was unhappy here. Suicide won his battle, but that will only make me stronger in the end to ensure that I do everything for him. I know one day I will see him again, but until then he will only see me and be with me in my heart forever. Every little thing will remind me of him, one day the tears won't be rolling down my face due to sadness but I will smile and remind myself of the happy stories that go along with the random things. I love you forever daddy!

Feeling calm and relaxed is something everyone wants to feel. My strategy on how I do this is lighting up some candles, starting a warm bath, and adding some bubbles of a calming scent like lavender. Once I begin to dip my toes into the water and smell the lavender scent I feel like all my worries disappear. As I lay down I feel the weight of stress leave my body. My eyes slowly close as I take in all the good spirits. In the background I have some subtle music playing. I relax for about an hour for one to two times a week. This is all the time I need to feel stress free. I do add more baths into my week if it does become overloaded and more stressed. Another way I stay stress free is taking occasional beach vacations. Being away from all the causes of stress, sitting on the beach, and listening to the ocean waves hit the shore make me feel calm. I think almost everyone can agree on the beach. The beach is the best getaway place to escape the "real world problems". To conclude, feeling stressed free and calm, baths and beach vacations are my best strategies. Next time you feel stressed, fill up the tub or pay a plane ticket for the weekend to be at the beach. Don't think about the problems on the outside. Just think about yourself and the positive energy.

Growing up I always wanted to be in the medical field. I felt like being a nurse would be the best option for me! After graduating college with a nursing degree I would love to leave the world in my hands. I want to help those who are in need. The people who need to see a doctor. I want to leave the impact of getting the results that they needed. When seeing someone on the street that is hurt or sick I want to help heal them. My goal in life is to help people. I want them to not be afraid of getting a shot, I want them to be laughing and smiling and not even notice they got one. As a nurse I want to give patients the best experience in the office. Many people are scared of what results they might get but I want to be there for patients to comfort them. I want to be the type of nurse where they can talk to me about their problems. I don't want to be known as just a nurse but also a friend. When receiving good or bad news I want to be there for families who can come hug me. This is the impact I want to leave on the world. I want everyone to feel safe and know they have someone like me taking care of them.