Becoming Catholic is not something I ever expected to happen in my life. I didn’t grow up in church, and most of my friends in high school didn’t believe in God, so I didn’t either. I thought nothing could ever change my mind about God. I truly believed that he was not real, and if he was, I hated him. And until I saw the face of God, and heard him, I held firm with this belief. In June 27, 2023, I was involved in a horrific car accident that took the life of a man. This man was a father, husband, and a son. I was in the passenger’s seat in my boyfriend’s car when we struck them during an attempted left turn. When I emerged from the car, I saw a mortifying scene. I was faced with a terrible question: why was I allowed life, and not this man? As he lay on the ground, dead, I stood, alive and unharmed. Why? At first, I felt lucky to have survived. If we turned a second sooner, I would have been struck and likely killed. I found myself thanking a god I didn’t even believe in. I then had a horrible realization: God is real. This was nearly scarier than the crash, because I realized I had been rejecting my one true savior, and I had sinned, and he was still showing me mercy. He showed me how easily he could take my life, and how he could give it just as easily. Within a few weeks, I was on my way to get confirmed in the Catholic Church. I turned my life around, I became more loving towards people, more forgiving, and left behind my old sins. I started devoting my life to God, and sharing my experience whenever I could. My newfound love for God changed a lot in me. I already volunteered in my community, but since the crash, I have been eager to do more. I love to clean up the environment in my town, and I especially love helping seniors however I can. Just talking to a senior citizen can bring them such happiness, and I love to be able to give that to someone. I want to impact my community by giving as much as I can. I want to volunteer, donate whatever I can, and overall, live like Jesus. I want to help those in need in whatever way I can, even if it’s just by being kind. Jesus explains in the gospel of Matthew that when we give to the poor, we give to him, for the poor are his people too. But I will work not to please God but to be more like him, as he asks of me. I also want to do as much as I can to bring other people like me to the faith. I want to help as many people be saved as I can. God is the most important thing in my life. I want to serve him in whatever way he asks of me, and I plan to do that by helping my community whenever I can and by helping bring more people into the faith so more people like me can see the light of God.

For most of my life, anxiety has ruled my world, and dictated my entire life. Even things as small as introducing myself or ordering for myself was a task I dreaded when going out. My anxiety made social situations difficult, which meant that I never had many friends throughout my life. In high school, my social anxiety became so severe that I developed stomach issues and lived in constant pain. I had anxiety about having anxiety, and there was not a moment for years where I was not worried. Anxiety exhausted me completely. Every day was a struggle, every day I walked around my school being paranoid. When I was passed in the hallway, I wondered, “Were they talking about me? Making fun of me?” My anxiety became even worse when I became a bullying victim, and I lived in constant fear of being ridiculed online again and again. This was when my anxiety was its worse. I missed weeks of school because I was too scared of seeing my peers. I finally convinced my mother to take me to the doctor, where I was diagnosed and given Citalopram to help manage my anxiety. My mother was scared to let me take SSRIs because of the potential side effects, but once she realized how bad my anxiety issues truly were, she allowed me to get help. After sixteen years of debilitating nervousness, I was finally going to get better. Pursuing college is important to me because at one time, I thought college would be impossible. My anxiety was just to great to even fathom ever attending college. Now that I’m doing better, I finally feel confident enough to work to achieve my dreams. College is necessary to achieve my dreams of becoming a writer, because I will need a good education in order to know how to most effectively work in my desired field. Attending college is also important to me because I will be the first person in my family to attend and graduate college. I want to make my parents proud, and one day be able to provide for them the way they have provided for me. College is my gateway to success, and one of my biggest goals in life. Anxiety was all I thought about for most of my life. I was always anxious, always fidgeting and sweaty. I thought that my anxiety would keep me from every doing anything, because I was too scared to try and to fail. Now that I am dealing with my anxiety better, I can pursue my dreams of attending college and eventually becoming a novelist. Anxiety does not control me any more, I am the only one who controls me.

My favorite book-to-film adaptation is Fight Club. It’s special to me for multiple reasons, and changed my mindset about life. High school hasn’t been easy. I’ve been bullied a lot, and lost a lot of friends over time. I felt like the Narrator: tired, alone, and stuck repeating every day. Tyler Durden represented who I could be: whoever I wanted. I related to the Narrator and his want to be Tyler, and I was endlessly intrigued with the mystery of Tyler and his projects. I have always loved psychological movies that mess with your mind, so the way Fight Club twists at the end astonished and amazed me. The way Tyler had a go-with-the-flow attitude really spoke to me, because it was the opposite of the mindset I had. His quote, “it’s only after you’ve lost everything, that you’re free to do anything,” meant a lot to me, because I realized that materialism isn’t everything. I realized that at rock bottom, which is where I felt I was at, I could turn my life into anything. If I had nothing to lose, I could achieve anything. It felt encouraging. Of course, I’m not going to take this new mindset and blow up several buildings, but I am going to accept challenges a little easier, and chase my dreams a little harder. Both the book and movie of Fight Club leave multiple hints that Tyler and the Narrator are the same person. Little things like, “I knew the story before Tyler told me,” “We have the exact same briefcase!” And “I felt like I was chasing an invisible man.” These hints at Tyler’s true identity is what sells the movie to me, because it has endless rewatch and reread value, as you look for every hidden clue. I think this shows how remarkable and creative the writing is. Visually, the movie and book are both great. I love the descriptions in the book, and I love the muted, dingy colors in the movie. I feel that the soundtrack in the movie is the perfect fit for the mood the book sets, and really makes you feel what the characters are feeling. Fight Club is special to me because it helped me through hard times in my life. Although Fight Club might be about destruction and mental disorders on the surface, it’s also about learning to accept life and be who you are. It’s about uniting and finding community, and, of course, the importance of sleep.

Jesus worked miracles on me, even when I put all my energy into rejecting and hating him. After a car accident that proved fatal, the only person I could rely on was Jesus. I was broken, unsure as to why my boyfriend and I survived when the man we struck did not. I realized as I stood on the highway, waiting for the ambulance, that He saved me in that crash. I realized, maybe there is some greater purpose to my life, maybe it wasn’t just luck that saved me. Before that day in June, I rejected Christ, holding resentment towards him. I was outcasted by my peers, bullied relentlessly, and I didn’t know what I had done to deserve this. I felt so alone, and I couldn’t find God no matter how hard I looked. So, I lost faith, and I felt that Jesus abandoned me. I didn’t understand Him, why He does the things He does. What was scarier than the crash, was realizing I had been rejecting my God, even though He had been calling my name. I thought God’s challenges for me were His abandonment, and it wasn’t until He showed me how fragile my life is, and His ability to take and give, that I surrendered to His great power and love. My relationship with Jesus is close. When life gets tough, I lean on Him, and He comforts me. When things go wrong, I recognize that even the tiny events like loosing a ring are part of His greater plan. My relationship with Jesus affects my faith because His presence proves God’s existence to me. Jesus was human, and because of His humanity, I know He understands me, because He’s been through the same things I have. Jesus has faced ridicule and horrendous abuse, so I know He can sympathize with me. At one time, I worried if I would be able to make it through college. I asked myself, “Am I good enough? What if I fail?” But I realize now that with Jesus by my side, I can do anything. I don’t worry about failing any more, because with God on my side, I can do anything I set my mind to. I plan to let God guide me through college, and lead me in whatever direction He wants me to go in. I follow Him faithfully and answer when he calls. I trust in God, and I trust that He will help me through college, which will undoubtedly be one of the most challenging parts of my life. I know He will walk with me and be there, even when I can’t feel Him.

I’ve overcome many challenges so far in my life, many of which, some people don’t have to ever face. Through these adversities and rough times, I’ve learned to get back up when I fall down. High school has been anything but easy for me. As a freshman, sophomore, and even into my junior year, I was relentlessly bullied by my peers. I was the weird kid. I was shy, self-conscious, and easy to pick on. I didn’t have any friends for most of high school, and stayed home every night, wallowing in my self-loathing and depression. I fell lower and lower, believing I was not smart, talented, or going anywhere in life. I hated myself more than any of my bullies ever did. My only relief was when summer came. I could finally escape the torture I endured every day from 8 A.M. to 3 P.M., and I could finally breathe, finally relax. And the summer after my junior year, I started to feel better, I made a friend, got a boyfriend, and things finally seemed to be going well for me. Until the end of summer, when I realized that things could always be worse. A few weeks before school was set to begin again, I was in a horrific car accident, that claimed a life, and the remainder of my innocence. My boyfriend was driving, and we struck an oncoming Jeep. I thought sure that this was going to be it. This was my breaking point. Every night, I saw images of blood on the pavement and a mangled vehicle, and wondered what would’ve happened if I said “look out!” A moment sooner. “I’ll never forgive myself if he dies, Mama,” I said that day, and for awhile, it was true. But then, another thought: “This can not ruin my life.” I repeated this to myself over and over, and determination to be okay and to live came over me. When school started again, I began pushing myself again, I began learning to love myself. I reminded myself that nothing was my fault, and my traumas and mistakes did not define who I was as person or my future. I realize now that my high school experience has been quite extraordinary in how rough and difficult it was. Many teenagers just don’t go through what I went through. But it taught me so many things, and I would not change it for the world. Now, as I prepare to chase my dream of becoming a writer, I know that I am strong and resilient. I can do anything if I just try, and nothing can stop me or slow me down.

If I could, I would have everyone read “Elena Vanishing,” a memoir by Elena Dunkle and her mother Clare B. Dunkle. This book tells the story of Elena, a girl who suffers from anorexia. Elena tries to be perfect, but her anorexia keeps her from achieving her dreams. When she tries to get help, she is not receptive to it at first, and therefor it doesn’t work. Eventually, Elena has a breakthrough, and overcomes her eating disorder, and finally finds happiness. This book meant a lot to me. As someone who struggles with mental health myself, I found Elena’s story very, very inspiring. Her story really proved that no matter what happens to you, or what you’re going through, or how far you’ve fallen, things can always get better, and they will, if you allow them to. I related to Elena a lot. There were times I felt so alone and hopeless, I couldn’t see how things could get better. But by changing my attitude and mindset, I was able to pick myself back up again, like Elena. When I get down, I think of Elena, and her amazing journey, and I’m reminded that I can get through rough times, too. I think everyone should read this book because it really sheds light on how serious eating disorders can become, and also shows that it is possible to overcome serious issues like these. I think people overlook how serious the disease of anorexia is, and I also think that people often forget that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Elena Vanishing is an inspiring story, and I think everyone in the world could learn something from it.

This chapter of my life would be titled “All Grown Up, in Theory.” I recently turned eighteen, and of course, I was alerted that I was “all grown up now.” That was a scary realization. I am not a child anymore. It was no longer, “when I grow up.” It was, “now.” As a child, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I couldn’t wait to be big and strong, like all the adults around me. When asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I’d answer confidently, “When I grow up, I’ll be a fairy princess,” or, “I want to be a famous artist! Or a writer!” But now, I really am grown up. And I haven’t really found any colleges for aspiring fairy princesses, so I have to return to the real world and get to work on my other dreams. But as I’ve grown, I’ve learned a lot. Through all my challenges, I have continued to pick myself back up again and persevere. I’ve learned that I can get through anything. This new phase of my life will undoubtedly be extremely difficult. I have to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life, begin college, and apply all the things I’ve learned over the years. But although I’ve learned many things, there are still many things I don’t know about. I still need help, and I’m an adult now, but I still feel like a little girl. I’m “all grown up” in theory, but really, I’m still growing. I have miles and miles to go before I’m really “grown up.” I’m not sure if I’ll ever be truly grown up, because life itself is just one long lesson. It’s a lesson I’m very excited to learn. As I prepare to face college, I’m nervous, but also hopeful and excited. I’m excited to see what the world holds for me, and I know that despite my anxiety, and my feelings that I might not be ready, I am ready, and I can do this. It’s scary to be grown up, but I know I’m strong. Like all the other challenges I’ve faced in my life, I know I can overcome any struggles that are coming my way by keeping my head up and staying strong. I don’t yet know what this chapter of my life holds for me, but I do know it will be amazing, and one of the best chapters in this book that I call my life.

The pure beauty of everything around me inspires me every day. I am particularly inspired by nature, and life itself. When I need inspiration, I often sit by a pond and take in the magnificence of the world. I also find a lot of inspiration in faces. I love drawing portraits of people because I love capturing how gorgeous every individual person is. I also love capturing expressions. I love how much of a story a blank face can tell. Sometimes, a blank face can tell more than an expressive one, in my opinion. I find inspiration in everything. Everyday objects, or beautiful landscapes around me. Everything inspires me to draw and create.

I need to write to live. Writing means the world to me. For me, writing is a creative outlet and a way for me to escape from the world around me. I can express myself, be creative, and let loose. When my world is too stressful, fast-moving, or out of control, I can escape to another world where everything goes according to my plans. Writing also gives me an outlet to reflect on my life. By writing my thoughts and emotions down, I can begin to decipher them, and make sense of the world around me. Writing allows me to share myself with the world. It allows me to inspire people, to take people to different worlds, and to educate people. When I write fiction, I can tell a good story to my reader, taking them to a far away land of mystery, suspense, and magic. When I write about how to draw, I can educate people and help other young artists who struggle with things that used to be difficult for me. When I write about my life, I can inspire people to keep pushing through difficult times, and that absolutely anything is possible through hard work and determination. Less than a year ago, I went through the most tragic incident of my life. I was in a horrific car accident that claimed the life of a man and injured his son. I was uninjured, but was left with deep emotional scars, and I was unsure of how to deal with them. How is a teenager supposed to deal with something so awful, anyway? I was lost, and felt more alone than I ever had in my life. There was truly no one in the world who understood my pain except for myself. So, I took to writing, and over the last few months, writing has been my biggest outlet. I was able to let out all my emotions, and finally let the weight of them fall off my shoulders and onto the page. Writing truly saved my life. Writing means everything to me, and I want to write for the rest of my life. It fulfills me, and gives me happiness. Whether it’s fiction, journalism, or just being a copywriter, I need to write for my career. Writing to me is like breathing. It is natural and necessary for survival. I can’t imagine doing anything else in the world for work.

Through my career, I want to inspire people. I want to show as many people as possible that they can overcome any challenges, achieve their goals, and more. I am an only child from Salem Illinois, and my whole life, I’ve been creative. I’ve always been an artist and a writer, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve always known I’d do something creative in my life. I’ve always been imaginative, making up my own worlds full of characters and magic. Now, I want to go to school to pursue an education in English and creative writing. I want to share my stories and ideas with the world. And not just my creative, fictional ones, but also my real life story. In my life, I’ve experiences bullying and harassment, which shaped me for a long time. I let it define me, who I was, and how I felt about myself. But then, I got into a car accident, which claimed the life of the man we collided with. I was completely uninjured, but could have been killed. This quickly made me realize that there is so much to life, and that I can get through anything. If I can survive a car crash, I know I can survive the rest of high school, even though at one time it felt impossible. I further realized my true ability to get back up again and my true talent when I was featured in the New York Times as a runner up in their “High School in 2023” contest. This event in my life taught me that my work might really be able to reach people and touch their hearts. Because I got through so many things, I want to use my talents in art and writing to show others like me that they can get through whatever they are going through. Even when I thought I was worthless, and that I would never do anything in life, I picked myself up, against so many odds. I want to show people that it’s always possible to get better. Through education, I will learn how to better write and create in order to get my message out to the world. I believe my story can change the world, and change how people think about themselves. I want to teach people that it’s okay to be yourself, and that anything is possible as long as you work hard, like I have.

In my life, I’ve seen how lonely seniors become. It has always saddened me to see how people in nursing homes seem forgotten about, not visited often, and confined to one building for the rest of their days. It’s especially hard for seniors during the holiday season. Often, seniors do not get visited because their families are far away, busy, or otherwise. I wanted to help change that, and help seniors feel included in holiday cheer. Luckily, one of my family friends runs an organization in my town called “Santa For Seniors.” Every year, we go to all the nursing homes in the area with gifts, carols, and more. Just being thought of during the holidays meant so much to these people who often feel so sad and alone. So many seniors were so thankful that this is put on every year, and seeing their faces light up make everyone’s day. But this year, the other volunteers didn’t want to hand out gifts at a particular nursing home. They just wanted to drop the gifts off and leave it at that. The reason was that some of the residents at this home could be rude, and a lack of time. I got the feeling that other volunteers were made uncomfortable by the reality of these people’s lives. The reality is, many of these people are very depressed, confused, and their living conditions are inadequate. This made it even more important for me to ensure that every person was hand-delivered a gift and talked to for at least a moment. This attention made so many people feel so happy, which made me feel incredibly fulfilled. My experience helping the elderly be included during the holidays made me realize many things. I became extremely grateful of what I have. The fact that I can take care of myself is something I take for granted every day. Many people rely on others to just get dressed, and it’s not just the elderly. Some people in that nursing home were younger than me, and this fact also made me intensely grateful for my health. It also made me realize I have a great passion for volunteering. I want to use my privileges and resources to give to those who may lack those resources. I only volunteered in my tiny town and some tiny nursing homes, and although I might not have changed the world, I helped provide some people that are often looked over with a merry Christmas. These efforts helped me grow and helped my community feel some cheer during the holidays.

Art to me is more than creation, it’s an expression of myself and a window into my soul. I have been an artist for as long as I can remember. Art has always been a part of me, it’s always been with me. I started out drawing on any paper I could find with my grandma’s various sharpies, begging her for them daily. Even then, I showed a better understanding of art than other kids my age. In kindergarten, I insisted on drawing a whole scene on every worksheet, complete with my family and lots of trees. This meant that I was always late to turn in my assignments, and my classmates got annoyed with my hogging of crayons. As a preteen, I was gifted an iPad, on which I downloaded my first drawing application. It left a lot to be desired, but I loved creating art digitally. I created primarily digital art up until high school. Then, in high school, I discovered my deep love for pencils, and putting those pencils to physical paper, instead of a digital screen. For my whole life, I had created art just for fun, just to create silly characters, or draw some flowers. But in high school, that changed. I started getting bullied and harassed relentlessly. Not just by one bully either—but by multiple girls. I became depressed, and didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. I had no friends anymore, and was reserved. Art called out to me, and held my hand as it brought me out of my slump. I started creating self portraits. But they were unlike other self portraits or anything my other classmates were making. My portraits were bloody, full of pain, and also pills. People didn’t understand my art, but I did, and I finally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I finally got these feelings out. Then, in June of 2023, I was in a car accident. I was in a collision with a Jeep, and although I was uninjured, the driver of the Jeep was killed, and his son was severely injured, requiring multiple surgeries. This still weighs on me heavily— the idea that maybe I could have prevented this death if I had told my boyfriend, who was driving the car I was in, to watch out. But I didn’t. I didn’t know how to deal with this either. How does someone deal with seeing a man die on the street, and his son be pulled out from under their mangled car? Again, art came to save me. I created multiple pieces all about this crash, and I do get many odd looks. Sometimes I wonder if my art is too weird or out there, but one of my pieces ended up as a runner up in a New York Times contest, so I must have something that other students don’t. Although I’m not sure if I’ll work with art for the rest of my life, I am sure that I will always be creating art to express myself, even if I don’t create art for my career. The arts are important to me, because when I have nothing, I have art.