I woke up this morning after getting over seven hours of sleep, and I took my time getting ready. I wiped the leftover mascara from underneath my lashes and listened to my current favorite podcast while brushing my teeth. There's something beautiful about this simple morning, and I've discovered in the past year what that thing is. It's taking care of myself. In standing at the foot of my sink and staring my freckles down in the mirror, I've realized how far I've come in the past year. During that time, I became extremely sick due to changes in my chronic condition. In January, I was put on anxiety medication because my gastrointestinal doctor believed that I seemed "off." By May, I skipped all but a few hours of the last two weeks of my senior year of high school. By the end of July, I ended up in the hospital. By the end of August, I'd been there three times. Now I'm on my way to recovery, taking advantage of the opportunity I have to be standing on my feet, able to focus on more than word search puzzles, while in college. I'm double majoring in English and psychology, as well as minoring in humanities in medicine. With those skill sets, I want to change the world. I want to make a difference in people's lives, leaving the world better than I came into it. Since the sixth grade, I've wanted to inspire people. I've sent out inspiring emails to my friends and family weekly for almost eight years now, and I'm not planning on stopping any time soon. If anything, I want to think bigger. I want to write stories so that people feel less alone, and I want to come to understand the workings of people's minds so that I can find them in the toughest places. But I've come to recognize that I cannot do that if I'm taking myself down in the process. Forgetting to put in my eye drops before class and sleepless nights doing unfocused work until 2 in the morning aren't going to help me. It's a whole lot harder to change the world when you can barely hold yourself together and barely wake up, when you're so nauseous that you can't think about anything but breathing. I've come to discover that taking care of myself is a vital part of the process. Now, I take my time getting ready in the morning. I schedule my infusion treatments, and I take my vitamins daily. I get to sleep at a reasonable time most nights, and I surround myself with people who make me happy. I journal my feelings into a yellow notebook, and I take nights off from constant school work to watch the occasional Disney movie. There's a TED video from Drew Dudley that I love, and I'd like to share my favorite quote from it. He says, "Because we've made leadership about changing the world, and there is no world. There's only six billion understandings of it." One of those understandings is mine, and if I can change myself for the better, giving myself more grace and love, then I've changed the world already. If I receive this scholarship, I will use it to help pay for my meal plan and my room and board in the coming semesters so that I can feel safe and healthy at my home away from home. Thank you for your time and consideration.

As I stare out of the window of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln library and write this, I am reminded of all it took for me to end up here. I pushed myself, often harder than I should have. I fell further than I had ever imagined. I learned lessons of extreme value that are carrying me through this transition to college. One of those lessons is that health needs to be a priority. If you don’t take yourself, your body, and your mind seriously, then you are going to end up in a whole different (and definitely worse) place. In order to help myself stay on top of my health, I do three specific things. Number one, I drink enough water. It sounds silly, but so many of my friends and family members are dehydrated today. Staying on top of my fluid intake is a huge win. Over the summer, I was dehydrated due to my chronic illness. Now that I am on the mend, it is important for me to push more water than most people in order to stay out of the hospital. I use a water tracking app on my phone to help me drink 90 ounces of water each day. Number two, I get enough sleep. One thing that I realized over my high school years is that I am much more moody, mean, and stressed when I don’t get enough sleep at night. Sleep is important in restoring my body and mind that work so hard throughout the day, especially when I push myself to my limits. In order to ensure that I am creating a good routine for sleep, I track my sleep using my watch. I aim to have seven to eight hours of sleep each night. This helps me stay fully awake throughout the day. I used to really struggle after lunch time with extreme exhaustion and fatigue. Now, I am able to push through that tougher time because I have the energy to do so. Finally, I create a schedule for myself every day. This has benefits in many ways. It, most of all, allows me to feel in control of my day to day activities so that I am not rushing from one thing to the next, frantic to remember what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. By following the schedule, I can take my time in working through important events throughout my day, feeling less stress throughout them. This also gives me a chance to make time for relaxation. Some days, I write down reading or taking a nap into my schedule. I then feel like I am able to take a break and relax my mind, without feeling that I am not doing enough. Health matters, and after the health journey I have gone through in the last year, I understand that now. I will push throughout college to stay healthy, which will lead to my success and ultimate happiness. Thank you for your time and consideration.

When I was in high school, I realized that I loved school. Of course, I didn’t love the insanity of passing periods or the mountains of homework that I received. But what I did love was learning. I loved to soak up information and understand it, adding to the thousands of files of knowledge already in my brain. I fully believe that knowledge has power—what I know can serve me throughout the rest of my life. For one thing, learning can help me to become a better person. The more I know, the more I can understand people. Knowledge is an important part of communication with others, and the connection you can create with that knowledge is important to having a fulfilling life. Knowing people better also means that I can make a difference in the world with my knowledge. I am currently majoring in psychology and English. In order to help people with their mental health and own understanding off the world, I have to have knowledge to help me. General knowledge can help my grasp on what the world is like and how I can help. Specific knowledge can help me push forward and make a difference in specific ways. For example, due to my understanding of English and grammar, I can copy edit for the student paper on campus to make the stories more impactful and successful. In order to continue learning, I plan to do three things. Number one, I plan to finish college. College is a great place for me to learn the specifics of my majors, as well as continue my all-around education in various areas. I have the chance to expand my mind with upper level classes that push me to think deeper about the subjects that I am studying. I also plan on continuing my personal research on topics that I am interested in. I like to read articles and watch videos about different topics in order to expand my worldview. A topic that I am specifically interested in is the chronic illness community. As someone who is chronically ill, I hope one day to be an advocate for people like me who struggle with their illnesses and need someone to stand up for their humanity. In reading, I learn about the different thoughts about chronic illness and how it is misunderstood by the world. Finally, I plan on continuing to listen to podcasts. While I get ready for the day or wind down for the night, I like to listen to podcasts that can help me learn deeper about a subject. I’ve listened to fiction podcasts like “Welcome to Night Vale” to help my creative mind while also listening to podcasts like “Archetypes” to help my understanding of the culture we are in surrounding women. These podcasts and many others help me to expand the knowledge I have in an accessible way, and I will never stop listening. Learning is extremely important to me, and I know that I will be a learner for the rest of my lifetime. Thank you for your time and consideration.

There is a younger me who dreams of being here, in college, studying what I love. Studying English has been made fun of in media and other sources in my life as a useless degree. Despite this, my heart has always been called to it, and I will hopefully never stop studying English. Since I was little, I loved to read. Technology was never a huge part of my life, as my parents pushed me to be outside a lot and read when I could. My favorite books speak to me every time I read them, and I am captured by the words on the page. Reading allows me to enter into another world. At times this world can be stressful, but there is relief in the mystical magic of the pages of a book. Even into college, although I have less time now, I still find time to read. Reading is my way of decompressing and relaxing, and I know it will always be there for me. I have also grown up loving writing. When I was in the third grade, I wrote short stories about a butterfly named Sarah that flew around a garden and got into trouble. In the sixth grade, my friends and I collaborated on a story about four girls who were sucked into a video game. Ever since those early days, I’ve continued to write everything that my mind could capture—essays, short stories, and poems upon poems. My life has been filled with writing, and I know it could be a possible part of my career path in the future. I also love English because of my imagination. From the youngest age of playing make believe with my friends, I’ve fallen in love with my imagination. I could make the most elaborate stories at night before I fell asleep, keeping myself awake for hours with the details. English allows me to use that imagination. I get to write out my never ending ideas, and I get to imagine the worlds of characters that I read in book series. Finally, I love English because it builds on my love of learning. I love to learn because it allows me the chance to think deeply about something and to use my brain to analyze the deepest parts of a work. In English I get to analyze a work about the author’s intentions, what the symbols mean, and what the piece does to the reader’s emotions—all of which capture my attention and my heart. I am extremely passionate about English, and I am so thankful that I get to study it in college. Thank you for your time and consideration.

When I was in middle school, we had to do projects on what colleges we would like to attend. I, of course, hadn’t even decided whether I would be continuing my private school education or attending a public school for high school. College was years away, something bigger than I could imagine. Thinking back to that girl, I wish that I could tell her that everything would work out in the end and that she didn’t need to make any decision that early. Life is a process. If we think too far ahead, we’ll find ourselves disappointed with the future. Lucky for me, I ended up at the right college. I love the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and I’m so happy I chose to study here. As I go through my time here, I have to think about why I am choosing to continue my education and what it will provide for me. I have come to the realization that higher education brings me three things: expertise, experience, and exploration. First of all, I gain expertise. Coming right out of high school, I knew limited information about specific areas. Knowing that I was interested in psychology and English, I have declared a double major. Every day in class I learn something new, and many of these things I will likely use in my future career. I need this specific expertise so that I can I excel in my career—without it, I would likely have many unanswered questions and too little information to be very useful. The next thing that I gain from higher education is experience. UNL has prioritized having real-world experience on what you are studying, whether that be application in research, study abroad, internships, or jobs. Right away, opportunities have been thrown my way, even though I am a brand new freshman student. I currently have a job at the Daily Nebraskan as a copy editor, which relates well to my English major. I also have been accepted to participate in developmental psychology research on campus, something that can give me important experience in psychology. These experiences build my resume and give me a chance to learn in the real world. From the beginning, experience has helped my future. The last thing that I believe higher education helps with is exploration. My university has given me the opportunity to explore new cities, cultures, interests, and more. I find that UNL is very good at helping students explore their interests. This is done not only through degree opportunities, but also through the many clubs and student organizations on campus. There is something for everyone. College is a great time to find what you are passionate about and what makes your life fulfilling. For example, I have participated in adoration time and a Bible study at the Newman Center on campus, which has helped me realize how truly important my faith is to my life. On top of this, college gives the opportunity to see the world. I hope to study abroad in the future to give myself experience with new and different cultures. To see different cultures around the world can help me to learn how our minds can be shaped by our circumstances, something that is very prevalent in psychology. In the end, I’ve realized in my short time of being in Lincoln that higher education can provide us with expertise, experience, and exploration that we cannot find anywhere else. College is a major part of preparing me for my future. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Last summer was split into two parts for me—the times I was healthy and the times I wasn’t. As a girl with a chronic illness, being sick can change day to day, moment to moment. And it did. At the beginning of the summer, I was doing alright. I survived my grad party despite my flare up, and I was able to have a schedule of how I spent my time. By the end of the summer, I couldn’t leave my bed. I went to the hospital three separate times (as my mother likes to say, I toured all of the hospitals in Omaha), and I ended up missing the welcome week of college. Finally, now that I am healthier, I am able to be grateful for my health while it exists and take better care of it so that the lows are less likely to happen. Since then, I’ve changed some things in my lifestyle. Number one, I drink water. A LOT of water. When I was in the hospital, one of the biggest problems I had was dehydration. No matter how much water I drank, I was unable to absorb it. It was realized that I had to drink much more water than most people in order to absorb what I needed. At this point, I drink about 90-100 ounces of fluid daily in order to ensure that I am getting enough water in my system. Number two, I stay active. In order to do this, I have joined a club for activity, and I take walks when I can. On Monday mornings, I currently attend the figure skating club. It is simply an hour of open ice in which we can practice what we would like. Since I was a figure skater for many years when I was younger, I find enjoyment in skating. This makes exercise exciting and more open for me to want to attend. I want to move my body when it is fun, and this is one way that I can do that. Number three, I get enough sleep. I realized over the summer that my health is more important than most other priorities in my life. Clubs, even most schoolwork, are not as important as staying healthy. I can’t do those other things if I don’t have my health. Therefore, I make sure that I save enough time for sleep, since it is a regenerative process for my brain and my body. The rest gives me enough energy to make it through the day. Therefore, I have given myself enough time to sleep in college to ensure that I can do the things that I want to do. Due to my circumstances, I have changed my lifestyle to be more effective in keeping me healthy, and it has paid off. Thank you for your time and consideration.

My first semester of college is running by in a blur. There are so many exciting events, opportunities to take hold of, and places to explore. College has its stressful moments, and I know I’m not alone in thinking that. What makes me so happy to have made it to college is the independence I have here. Independence might be a cheesy answer, but it’s true. As a child, I was on top of my own schedule, making sure I was where I needed to be when I needed to be there. One of the biggest things in college is an expansion on that. I can control my schedule throughout the day, picking which fun events I want to take part of and what priorities matter most to me. I can choose when, where, and how I study, which is amazing for my focus and productivity on my schoolwork. I also find it helpful in how I get to be apart of so many different things that I enjoy, thanks to my control over my schedule. I get to spend time with my faith, volunteer for a club that I love, and write in my spare time. I get to have a job as a copy editor, something I couldn’t have imagined before. Staying healthy despite the stress, though, can be difficult. To stay on top of it, I have a couple of methods. To help my mind and soul, I participate at Church. As a Catholic, finding my center in the Word of God helps me to straighten my path even when I am worried or anxious. It allows me to stay pointed toward what really matters in this life, rather than the superficial things that I often focus on, like perfect grades or social media. Along with that, I aid my mind by keeping on top of my studies. Getting a head start on my chapter readings and studying for tests early gives me the peace of mind that I can comfortably take my time absorbing the material. Then, I can be more sure of myself when it comes to class and exam time, as I am fully prepared in advance to do well. Finally, I help my body through two things. Number one, I drink enough water. I know it seems simple, but dehydration has really hurt me in the past. Staying hydrated helps me to feel that I am healthy, and it gives my body a way to regulate itself. Number two, I have joined a club that includes physical activity—that being the figure skating club. I find exercise challenging and boring when done in the basic sense, but when I am able to find a way to exercise while paying attention to my passions, I can stay on top of staying fit and healthy. Figure skating is fun, and it takes the stress from my mind, all while helping my muscles move. College is a new adventure for me, but I know that I am prepared to do well. Thank you for your time and consideration.

When the world feels like it is crashing down around you, and the stress you have is closing in when you have moments alone, there are only a few thing that you can control in your life. One of them is what you eat. Although it may be hard when I’m struggling to have a balance in my food, choosing what I eat with care helps me feel more in control of my body despite my circumstance. I believe it is important to have healthy eating habits, first of all, to help deal with stress. A high amount of sugar can cause my brain to become frantic at points, sending me into a spiral of perfectionism. Piling up stress can cause me to freak out, and suddenly, I’m taking out that stress on my friends and family. On the the other side of the frantic feeling is the complete exhaustion. When I don’t eat healthy and fuel my body correctly, I get exhausted quickly. This stops my focus, causing me to stress about the fact that I can’t seem to get anything done. Suddenly, even though, I haven’t moved all day, my brain has used all of the energy I have due to unhealthy food, and I can no longer organize my thoughts. Eating healthy helps me fight this. I also believe that we need to balance our bodies. For me, healthy eating balances out the rest of my life. When I eat healthy, I am more likely to go to bed at a normal time and sleep well. Therefore, I can carry out my daily activities with more ease and feel that I am in a good spot in life. When I have healthy eating habits, I find that my physical body is more pain-free. I have a chronic condition, ulcerative colitis, and it causes me to be very careful with what I consume. When I have a balanced diet, I stay away from flares of my illness. Those flares can put me in pain and other uncomfortable symptoms throughout my day. On the flip side, when I have greasy, take-out foods especially, my body starts to rebel against what I just ate. I receive abdominal cramping or headaches or joint pains. Healthy eating also helps with fatigue. I struggle a lot with fatigue in the afternoons due to my illness, but when I eat a healthy breakfast and lunch, I find myself much more able to continue my work in the afternoons, even as my body works hard. Fatigue can be a real block in ability, but when I eat balanced meals, I find that I can pay better attention in class and manage my focus better. Finally, I find that healthy eating changes my mental well-being. When I eat unhealthy, brain fog sets in from my colitis, and I can no longer focus. From there, I become frustrated and anxious that I can’t be productive despite my want to. If I push through, I find my mind drained and only half of the work done. My worry spirals from there as I wonder when the brain fog will disappear. If I choose to eat healthy, though, I am a lot less likely to have this happen to me. Eating healthy is important to my chronic illness lifestyle, and I know it can be helpful for so many. Thank you for your time and consideration.

I am chronically ill. I will always be sick. I will always be in and out of flares of my illness. Back in November, I hit an especially bad flare—one that I am still struggling with the effects of. As the doctors were trying to deal with all of my symptoms, medication failure, and bouts of infectious disease. All of it slowly took a toll on my mental well-being. I have been a mentally healthy person for most of my life, as I generally am good at coping with stress. Few mental health problems run in my family, and there haven’t been huge events that have thrown me into a spiral. But this did. I was angry, and it wasn’t just because of the steroids I was prescribed. I was praying to get better but was finding little relief. And that anger filled my mind, making it a very tiring place to be. The anxiety grew and grew. My doctor prescribed me an anti-anxiety medication, which, despite the low dose, was immensely helpful. Recently I’ve come off the medication as my physical health has finally gotten a little bit better. The anxiety is still there, even if it is less mental. My veins buzz with this worry and inability to be still. I finally understand, due to this experience, how mental and physical health can really run together. I never understood how they worked together, but all the systems in a human body are interconnected. The brain is fragile, and when one system struggles, so does the mind. I realize now that I need to take care of my mental wellbeing so that my stress doesn’t set off my chronic illness, and I need to take care of my physical health so my mind doesn’t have to deal with the repercussions of being sick. My relationships have changed too because of this experience. I can now more easily find myself experiencing affective empathy, being able to feel what others are feeling due to my own experience. I have had many friends who struggle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts over the years. Now, though, I can help them deal with their struggles more effectively. I understand how even the slightest bit of anxiety can really mess up your day or how being down in the dumps can happen out of nowhere. From there, they can know that I’m listening to them from a true place and really want the best for their well-being. I hope one day that my experience will help me in my career. I am a psychology major because I want to help people with their mental health. Psychology fascinates me, and I want to use it for good. But more than that, though, I want to take my recent personal experience to the working world. I want to help those who are chronically ill receive the mental treatment and help that they need as they are struggling with other things. I also hope that I can be an advocate for those who are being put down by medical professionals as they go through the worst days of their illness. Being believed and taken seriously as a chronically ill person can be the difference between a good mental state and a bad one. My experience this past year with my own mental health and physical illness has changed my life, and I know the impact will not fade. Thank you for your time and consideration.

When I think about my future, I don’t try to think too far. The future is often overwhelming and getting older can be frightening. I feel like the start of high school was just yesterday, and now I’m prepping for college. There is one thing I do know about my future, and it is that I want to use my degree to help people and change the world. Changing the world probably seems like an outrageous and huge goal for an 18-year-old, something you’re thinking is unattainable. The truth is, though, changing the world doesn’t have to be as daunting as we make it out to be. Changing the world could be changing one person’s life, changing their day. That person ends with a different perspective and better attitude because of you, and that’s enormous change. I am planning on studying Psychology and English at the University of Nebraska—Lincoln. With this, there is a world of possibilities in front of me for my career. I don’t have anything pinned down quite yet, but I want to make a difference in the world of mental health. Many of my friends and fellow classmates struggle with their mental health, whether that be depression, contemplating suicide, or anxiety. I know a person firsthand with each of these, and I know how hard it can be for them to push forward. The mental sickness can tear them down quickly, especially when the world doesn’t seem to notice them. With my psychology degree, I hope to explore mental health, becoming a more knowledgeable person about those struggles and finding ways to be supportive. I can’t stand to see that suicide is right behind car accidents as a major cause of death. I can’t stand to see genius people feel like there is no one who cares. I can’t stand to see athletes fall to unhealthy habits and eating disorders for fear of imperfection. Those people deserve to be taken care of and helped in any way possible, and I am determined to be apart of that impact. Whether this degree takes me to graduate school to become a therapist or school psychologist, or it takes me to managing a nonprofit focused on mental health awareness, I know my future holds big things. Maybe I don’t think far in the future, but I know my future is positive, bright, and full of changing the worlds of those who are suffering in silence. Thank you for your time and consideration.

One of the biggest jokes that I see about growing up is that you have aches and pains all of the time. Adulthood seems to be one big question: which part of my body hurts today? And although that is a joke, a couple of months ago, it didn’t feel like one to me. I had fallen out of working out. I stopped playing volleyball and the marching band season had ended. With school, I rarely had time to exercise, and I had finished all of my gym credits the year prior. So, in January, my back started to hurt. I struggled to sleep at night due to the constant ache, and no one could seem to figure out what was wrong. I was 17, but my back made me feel like I was 82. My pediatrician said that my muscles needed to relax and to schedule myself a massage. My gastroenterologist was worried about spondylitis and arthritis, sending me off to see a rheumatologist. Finally, I went to a physical therapist, and from there, the road to recovery began. I persisted, working my job at Subway despite the pain and taking time to do my PT exercises daily. I started doing yoga, waking up at 5:30 to get my exercise in before school. And my persistence paid off—a couple of months later, my back is feeling great. I know that the persistence in the face of health challenges will always be in my future, but now I know that I can make it to the other side of those obstacles. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Since middle school, I’ve been the “therapist friend.” I listen so well that people feel like they can share everything with me. My boyfriend tells me stories that he hasn’t even told his parents, and a high school friend of mine comes to me for advice no matter the situation, just because he knows that I’ll hear him out. Now I’m entering college, psychology as my declared major, wanting to help those who struggle with their mental health. I don’t believe any of this overlap is a coincidence. During my freshman year of high school, my friend confided in me that she’d been harming herself, scratching until she bled. Sophomore year, a different friend told me that she’d been diagnosed with depression. Junior and senior year, two friends of mine have struggled on and off with suicidal thoughts, and it was my job to make the adults in their lives aware and help them hold onto what hope they could. Although I have yet to lose someone to suicide, the fear is constantly on my mind. Most of my friends struggle with their mental health in one form or another, and the whispers in my mind remind me that I might wake up tomorrow without one of them. With all of this experience firsthand and the trust that my friends have put in me to hold their stories, I have turned to trying to make the world a better place for them. First, during my junior year, I joined the Omaha Area Youth Advisory Council, which was a club from around the Omaha area that advocated for mental health. Through this club, I learned how to better speak to my friends in times of struggle, validating their opinions without trying to be the person who tries to top their pain. Pain is pain, true and hurting in every form. I also decided to adventure into psychology class, which turned out to change my life. I hope that in the future, through a career in mental health care based in psychology, I can continue to help firsthand with those who suffer mentally on a daily basis. In my life, I want to focus in on helping those who not only struggle with mental health, but are also deaf. I’ve begun a dive into sign language, and I’m learning that the world deaf people live in is an obstacle course all of the time. Communication is hard when no one can speak your language. And when communication is at the forefront of much healing in mental health, how can we expect those in the deaf community to hold their burdens without help? I plan on continuing my learning of sign language. Recently, I took a beginner’s American Sign Language (ASL) workshop to give myself more experience. At the University of Nebraska Lincoln, I will be taking ASL courses to learn the language at a faster pace and more fully so that I can be prepared to use sign language in the future. I want to be the bridge to help those who cannot hear find guidance in their own mental health journeys. From middle school to today, as I venture into college, being the “therapist friend” has made me the go-to, trustworthy girl that you can depend on. This label will not fall in my future, for I believe that the future should be bright and hopeful for all, and I am committed to making that a reality. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Last year, at a Thanksgiving party, my abdomen was aching. I was sitting next to my boyfriend, squeezing his hand tight, praying that the pain would end soon. I have ulcerative colitis (UC), an autoimmune condition that lines my colon with ulcers, and that night was the beginning of a nightmare. Within the next week, I was speaking to my gastroenterologist about all the symptoms that were popping up suddenly, and I was told that I had C. diff. With a stupid bacteria trying to destroy my colon and a bottle of antibiotics, I tried to get back to a normal life of remission. But that was just the beginning. Over the next few months, I went to countless doctor appointments and swallowed what seemed like a rainbow of pills every morning for breakfast. For a few weeks, I was on steroids, spending most of my days lounging in bed yet unable to sleep. I napped constantly, just trying to conserve what energy was left in my body. Underneath the surface, my inflammation medication was failing. As I'm finally reaching the end of my flare and starting an infusion treatment, I've realized something huge. I am not alone in this. There are people out there like me--people whose guts are out to bring them down and who can't seem to get enough sleep. There are people who down pill after pill in the morning, and who, at this point, are friends with blood-draw needles. With my flare, I've come to a point where I've understood that I have a longing to help people like me. And, with a little bit of research, I found out the ways that I was going to take action. I first started by listening to a few podcasts about chronic illness, slowly learning about the many different chronic conditions that plague countless people in our world. From hearing about multiple sclerosis (MS) to polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), I've begun to understand the hidden world of chronic illness. I'm opening my eyes to those who are suffering under the radar, something that I never saw before. I also started researching my own illness through the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation, and I learned that the representatives in Nebraska in my district aren't taking the steps to support their IBD citizens. In a few months, I will be able to vote, and I will be registering right away. I am planning on stepping up in November to support the people who are willing to take the steps to aid those with IBD, giving them a less-embarrassing life with the Restroom Access Act. I have already emailed all of the candidates for the House of Representative election, and I'm prepared to fight for all those who live with the invisible illnesses of this world. In the hardest moments in my life, I reached past the barriers of my knowledge, my deepest struggle becoming my greatest strength. My future will be full of fighting--fighting for rights, for health, and for hope--but I am prepared to pick up my sword and give it my all. People living with autoimmune diseases deserve it. Thank you for your time and consideration.

I have always believed that the little moments in one's life are the moments that make all the difference. I walked into the Millard North High School band room a summer night before my freshman year, my heart filled (90% fear and 10% tiny boosts of confidence). That night changed my life. I remember seeing all the different people there, amazed that so many people could fit into one room and that all those people could create powerful music. A room of high schoolers was able to vibrate bones and move in sync, something I never believed was possible. I began to understand what being on a team, with everyone giving their whole heart, was. It felt like pure magic. From then on, I fell in love with the Millard North band environment, and I strive to be the best band member that I can. Today, I'm a Varsity Drum Major of the band, the highest student leadership position. I never believed I would ever be able to speak in front of three hundred people comfortably in my life, yet that is what I do today. As a drum major, I give my all to making sure that new students are able to feel how I did that summer night and understand how amazing it is to be apart of something as grand as the Millard North band. The moment I walked into the band room was the moment I understood that I could be a freely confident person, and the people around me would be alright with that. Four years later, I want to show that to others. Thank you for your time and consideration.

The world is changing, and even living in Nebraska, I can feel the effects of climate change. Cold days are colder, hot days are hotter, and life is simply not getting any easier. To combat this, I do two main things. Number one, I am aware of what I use that hurts the environment, and I take time to learn about climate change. As someone who learns great with listening, I turn on different podcasts every morning as I get ready for the day. Some days, I like to take my time and learn about what is going on in the world of climate change. Hearing from experts who give me ways that I can do simple things to combat climate change is helping me change my lifestyle to be more sustainable for me and for the world. Number two, I believe in minimalism. I don't buy things that I don't need, and I take time to make my space stay clean. I try to stay efficient as I run errands, so as not to let more gas run into the atmosphere, going from place to place with the shortest path. I make sure to unplug my extra chargers at night to remove clutter from my space, which in turn saves energy. These small minimalism practices allow me to conserve what I can. In Nebraska, we aren't always as able to understand what needs to happen to save the world as we know it, but I'm happy to take part in what I can to hopefully make this world a better place. Thank you for your time and consideration.

When my brother and I were little, we always thought that our younger cousin, Maggie, was bossy. In her childhood, she would order her little brothers around, trying to help contain their energy. Maggie has grown up into becoming a beautiful, smart, and helpful young woman today, never carrying with her the bossy 3-year-old of her past. Just about a year ago, Maggie asked if I would be her sponsor for the Sacrament of Confirmation. In saying yes, I agreed to be a mentor to her, not just through the Sacrament of Confirmation, but also through the ups and downs of her walk with God throughout her life. I really want to impact her by being a role model in her day to day life. I would like to show her how to reach out to others and have a big heart that lives for God. Every day, we text each other, sharing our lives and daily struggles with each other. She has been there for me through my health struggles, and I have been there for her through her last semester of middle school. Together, we are learning how to have a full and good Christian relationship, something we both can take into the future. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Thanks to growing up in a Catholic school, I found a great appreciation for the saints. There are so many great people who once lived and who created a huge mark on their communities and the world as a whole. They are continuing to influence people, like me, to this day through the open-hearted acts of kindness and devotion. One saint that really strikes me is Saint Elizabeth. Saint Elizabeth was the mother of John the Baptist and the cousin of Mary, the Mother of God. There is a story in the Bible that Saint Elizabeth is found in--the Visitation. Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth in another town. Both of them are somehow miraculously pregnant, and their sons are about to work together in changing the future of humanity. But their simple moment of meeting has always appealed to me as I flip through the pages of the book of Luke. Elizabeth, in greeting Mary, states, "For at the moment the sound of your greeting reach my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy (Luke 1:44)." When I imagine this scene, I imagine Saint Elizabeth grinning from ear to ear, so excited to see her cousin and find out the news about the coming Messiah. Even her son is jumping in the little space he fills inside of her. This story, and Saint Elizabeth herself, reminds me that joy is vital to the Christian life. We must greet those we know and those we don't with the greatest level of kindness and hope that we can muster. Everyone deserves to smile--deserves a little joy--in their life, and we need to give that to them. Saint Elizabeth, pray for me. Thank you for your time and consideration.

In the eighth grade, I was already thrown head first into the idea of scholarships. I had attended St. Robert Bellarmine Catholic School, a private school that wouldn't feed into any school in particular, but often led to any Catholic School in the area that I felt was the right fit for me. As a part of the entrance exams to any of these Catholic High Schools, you were considered for a scholarship. I tested at Skutt Catholic High School, and I imagined myself going there. I could see myself walking the halls and learning in classrooms along the English hallway. When getting my test results back, I was awarded a scholarship. But it was only $1,000 for my freshman year, and Catholic High School education was much more expensive than that. My family could've made it work eventually, despite it likely being very hard. I decided, though, not to. I went to a public school, Millard North, up the street, which thankfully became one of the greatest decisions of my life. By freshman year, I had learned a lesson. For college, I was going to have to work hard and apply to as many scholarships as possible. Many older friends let me know that I needed to apply to as much as I had time for because it all adds up. Since then, I've been doing that. So far, I've been awarded one small scholarship thanks to luck, and another bigger one due to my high grades. I'm still determined to apply to as many scholarships as possible, so that my college experience can be worry free. That's actually why I'm typing this right now. I hope these smaller scholarships may start adding up. Thank you for your time and consideration.

One of my newest favorite books is entitled, "Something Happened to Ali Greenleaf," written by Hayley Krischer. This book is about a victim of rape--how she deals with the event and how she speaks out. I picked up this book from the library the second I saw its beautiful and artistic cover. The sight of the book is striking, and it sparked emotion in me right away. I just had to read this book. After finishing the book one Saturday morning, I sat back, amazed. I didn't really know what to think or how to feel. Something had shifted inside of me. This book was powerful, and it helped me learn. But ultimately, I love it because of the girl power that rises in the end of the story. The main character, Ali Greenleaf, takes control of her story. She takes a break during this traumatic time, traveling to see her mother and rest. She comes back with power in her step, using her words to tell the world about what had happened to her and how she had felt trapped by the people in her life who made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. But in the bottom of her heart, she knew that it was something that would shape her life forever. In writing about her feelings, she gives a place for other young girls and women to reach out who are struggling with same shame and pain that Ali felt after being taken advantage of. This book is full of young girls in power, and it shows me that I can use my voice to change the world.

There are good days… and then there are bad ones. On the good days, all is well. We accept the feelings of others and treat them as totally valid. But what happens on the bad days? We run into a problem. When others are having a bad day, we sometimes don’t even blink twice. We tell them, “Try ___ to be happy,” or, “It could be worse.” But here’s the thing, we can’t do that anymore. We need to accept the feelings that people have to help people’s mental health feel as if they are in a safer space. I know in my experience with anxiety and unstoppable temper surrounding my chronic illness treatments, my mom is there to listen. She doesn’t say much, but what she does say is huge. She lets me know that she understands and asks me what I need to feel better. She doesn’t start spouting solutions, but she gives me say in what my next steps are. That is huge. I’ve recently started helping my friends this way—limiting the advice, being gentle with my words, and just listening. I ask questions so that we both can understand these feelings a little bit better. It has made my relationships with those people stronger, and we are in a place where we can talk about our bad days and begin to understand them. The biggest way that we can help those who struggle with mental health is to listen. Listen to what they need, comfort them in times of stress, and take their minds off of the spiraling pain. That way, we can all strengthen our relationships and become more comfortable with sharing our own struggles. Thank you.

Hold on. Take a deep breath. In and then out. Smile for a moment. Relax. The world we live in today is moving too fast. We are constantly looking to our phones and replying to emails and trying to get in one more hour of hard work. We’re driving 15 over the speed limit with no care in the world. Simply put, we’re hurrying all the time. This sense of needing to move fast is stressing everyone out. Whether you’re a person that is moving too quickly, burdened by the load that just keeps coming, or you’re the person who has realized this problem, burdened by the fact that the world is moving fast enough that you feel left behind—know that you are not alone. One big way we can work through this problem is taking just a few minutes to breathe and smile in the middle of our days. For me, I take time to just breathe, stretch out my sore muscles, roll my wrists a few times, and then get back to whatever I’m doing. This helps give me a center to come back to in the middle of the day. I can take a moment to just feel, listen, and softly connect with the world around me. I think if everyone took a few seconds of break every once in a while throughout their days, it would make a world of difference. It would help everyone appreciate their surroundings, becoming content with them, rather than not even seeing their surroundings and always wanting more. I hope that one day a slower, more grateful world is in store for us, and I hope that every person takes steps to help us get there. Thank you.

It was only a couple of years ago that I sat in the doctor’s office and got the question, “So, why are you here today?” I had to explain the symptoms, the things I had wished for weeks would just go away. By the time the pediatrician was through with his talking and the blood test results came back, people were wondering how I was even standing. Two days later, I dozed off with anesthesia for the first time in my life right before my colonoscopy. And within the week, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a chronic inflammatory illness. I didn’t really know how to react. I never thought it was possible for me to become sick constantly. I never thought that I would be taking seven pills every morning. I never thought that I would end up like many of the other women in my family, suffering silently with their own chronic IBD problems. But there I was, dealing with it all. What got me through the most of it was my family. My mother asked all the right questions and pushed for the right care. She fought back and took me to a different doctor after I was prescribed an amount of medicine that seemed insane for someone like me. My father was supportive—there as I got my colonoscopy to crack jokes. My brother was there too, to watch movies on my colonoscopy prep days and make me smile when I felt too exhausted to. Thanks to my family, I am in a place where I can deal with my illness on a day to day basis fairly well. In the future, I know I will be prepared for anything because of what I’ve gone through with my ulcerative colitis. I now know how to deal with problems that are long-lasting, something that school hasn't taught me. As a person who never stopped, I finally understand how to respond to pain and take time out of my busy schedule to rest. These tools will help me in college especially. As I go out on my own, understanding how to respond to problems in any way is huge since I can’t just run home and ask for advice every night. I know how to speak with doctors and ask them questions when I don’t understand. My ulcerative colitis has given me a way to grow, pushing me to take care of myself and prepare to handle future problems that arise in my life. Now I can know that, in the end, everything will be okay.

Some nights are much too long. I stay up late as my brain runs wild, unable to wind down after the long day. The sleep I get is restless, and in the morning I feel as if I woke up every hour from some strange dream or another. Despite my tiredness, I push through the days, and I do this for the people in my life that I love. I want to make those people (my parents, brother, boyfriend, bestfriend, grandparents, and cousins) happy. They are very important to me, and if my success and hard work can make their lives easier, I’m glad to keep on fighting through the days. For example, today. I am tired and didn’t sleep well. I’m dreading work this evening, considering many of my coworkers feed on the fact that I will do the work if they don’t. Yet, I’m still excited for the day. I get to surprise my boyfriend with a little gift and a smoothie while he is home sick. For me, the people in my life motivate me to be my best self every day, because they deserve the best, and I want to give that to them.

When you wake up every day, knowing that your guts are far from getting better and the seven pills that you shoved in your mouth for breakfast aren’t going to change anything, you start to wish for health. And when the world around you looks at you like you’re perfectly healthy and that you should be “fine” to do everything that everyone else does, you start to see a problem with society. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, my sophomore year of high school. Since then, I’ve paid more attention to those with chronic conditions, and the thing is, I haven’t seen much. When I listen to the radio, they don’t mention breakthroughs in the treatment of those who have invisible illnesses like me. Young adult novels have a million cancer stories, but they barely lay claim to one book on chronic illness. I’m tired of waiting for people to notice us. I hope that in the future, I am able to change how the world views chronic illness and bring to their attention the many people in their lives who are suffering on a day to day basis. Whether I speak or write about it, I know my future is going to advocate for those just like me. I’ve looked back into my past and seen how many people don’t see me and don’t understand what I’m going through. I’m determined that my future will involve changing that, giving a voice to those whose invisible illnesses aren’t being seen, just like mine. Thank you.

If you took a look around my room, it wouldn’t take you long to see what I love to do. Shelf upon shelf is covered in neat stacks of books. From A Very Large Expanse of the Sea by Tahereh Mafi to Psychopathy: A Very Short Introduction by Essi Viding, books open my mind to the realities of the world and ultimately help me show empathy to others’ experiences. In every book I read, I am introduced to a new world, a new set of characters, and a different way of living. I am allowed to peer into lives that aren’t like mine, and it gives me the ability to see the people of this world more complexly. When you’ve seen the lives of hundreds of different people and felt for them, you understand what you need to do to help those in the life you have. For me, I give my heart to showing kindness to every situation because books taught me that everyone needs a little grace sometimes and we all make mistakes. My greatest hobby, reading, brings joy into my everyday life and allows me to give empathy to others.

Most nights, after getting into my butterfly-print pjs and setting my alarm for the next day, I pull out a bright yellow spiral notebook. On the front, in big black letters, is a Shawn Mendes quote that reads, “You don’t need to be an expert to speak on matters of the heart.” In this notebook, I give myself the space to write whatever is on my mind, releasing my stress into the lead on the page. Through this notebook, I am forced to be up front and honest with myself. As I write, I tell myself the truth, digging into the emotions, stress, and events of the previous day that are tangled in my heart. By word-spitting and writing down whatever comes to my mind, I am forced to accept who I am in that moment. I speak my mind, letting out all of my anger and frustration at the world. This journal knows when I’m tired and when I am on top of the world. Thanks to this yellow journal, I am given the opportunity to speak my mind and show myself the utmost level of honesty that I deserve.

Every Monday morning at eight sharp, a reminder pops up on my phone. It simply says, “Quote of the Week” with a little halo emoji next to it. This reminder makes sure that I take time to inspire and encourage those people closest to me in my life. Every Monday, I send out an email to my friends and family members. These emails include a quote, a funny video, an ASL sign to learn, and a challenge to jumpstart change in your week. Some weeks, I get responses from my family members, telling me how the quote was especially needed that week or that they were going to crush the challenge of the week. I know that I, by sending this email, encourage myself to be a kinder and more confident young woman, while also giving hope to so many in my life. I truly believe that this email, starting with that little phone reminder, makes a difference in the world in the small actions of every person I reach and encourages them to make constant changes to become a better person.

I find my creative outlet in music. I have played the flute since the 6th grade, and ever since I picked it up for the first time, I found the light and rich sound mesmerizing. As I approach the end of my senior year, I know more about musicality and beautiful tone than ever before. As I practice, I like to take my own liberties and find creativity in the music I am playing. This happens especially when I am practicing a solo. For example, last year for the District Music Contest, I played a solo called “Andalouse” by Emile Pessard. I took that solo to places that I never had in music. I used vibrato to change my tone and show maturity in my notes. I used tempo change to give the song flare and meaning. And I used dynamics to help establish where the piece was going and when it came to an end. Although I am not the perfect flute player, that solo gave me something creative and beautiful to work toward, and I will carry that with me into the future.

When I arrived at Millard North High School my freshman year, I was ready to be challenged. I knew that this school could give me the opportunities of a lifetime, and since that first year, it surely has. One of the biggest opportunities has been the amount of Advanced Placement (AP) classes that I can take. Just as a freshman, I started out on the AP track, taking AP Human Geography. And from that class, I began to learn the best ways for my brain to study. In my AP classes, there is oftentimes a large amount of reading to do outside of class. To get this done efficiently, I like to read from heading to heading, and then summarize the most important points of what I just read into my notes. The smaller chunks allow me to read to understand, not just read to read. As the test approaches, I get right on making a Quizlet study set of flashcards for review. I find Quizlet very helpful—I can make general vocabulary flashcards, fill-in-the-blank questions, and more. From there, I study the Quizlet multiple times, also reading through my notes consistently over a few days. If there is any class review, I make sure that I take special care to do that as well. This process, although repetitive, has given me great success in my classes. I score high on my tests and quizzes, and the familiar feel of it allows me to feel confident going into every test I have.

In December of 2020, I decided to buy myself a Christmas present. I got myself a telescope. For months before that, I’d been fascinated with the stars and constellations. I was mesmerized by their shape and beauty splashed across the dark night sky, and I loved it. What made me most fall in love with it was the feeling I got while I stood out there, staring upward. I felt small, but in a good way. As a perfectionist, it was a relief. I was in a headspace where my mistakes were okay. I was fine just the way I was as I looked up at the twinkling stars. I love nature because it gives me freedom from the constant motion and stress of this world. It holds a beauty that I can only see when I open my eyes to the present. I appreciate nature by learning about it. I decided, somewhat last minute, to take an astronomy class as a part of my senior year. I go stargazing often, looking up the information about each star and the constellations. I take time to look out the window every night and smile. Because, in the simplest and most majestic forms, nature is lovely and deserves a smile.

In the sixth grade, I learned to love writing. My English teacher made us keep a journal every morning and follow prompts that lead us to new and interesting places. Suddenly, I was becoming a piece of dust on the wall or a version of Cinderella that was a mermaid in the ocean. My friends and I wanted to write and illustrate a book together. We held a passion about words that would never die. Thinking back to that time, I realize that I learned to love writing because I had learned to love reading. When I read, I saw different worlds unfold before my eyes, and my imagination could run wild with whatever it was given. Words held a power to them, and that excited me. As I grew older, I read and wrote more and more. One day while reading what would become one of my favorite series, I ran into this line written by Tahereh Mafi: “No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence.” Lately, I’ve realized how true this quote is. Because, in the end, neither crafty weapons nor immense power can make you feel empathy for another. Words make change in the world because they can draw you to a place where you can put yourself in another’s shoes. I can think about all of the words I’ve read in my life. When I read John Green’s novel Turtles All The Way Down, I learned the realities of OCD and what that meant for the daily life of a teenager. When I read Randy Ribay’s The Patron Saint of Nothing, I learned about how grief can change a person and push them to do things that they never would’ve before. And when I read Sara Ella’s Coral, I learned about when someone feels utterly hopeless and needs someone to help them through. Words can take you to a new place where you can learn about the lives you’ve never lived and cause you to think more complexly. With empathy comes a wider view of the world. Suddenly, you can show kindness to other people because you understand their situation better. You can agree to be open to new opinions because you’ve learned that everyone can come from different backgrounds. You can understand pain and heartache and joy and love that you’ve never experienced through the power of words, and it can give you a new lens through which you can see the world. Words also have the power to inspire lasting change. When I think about this, my mind immediately drifts to TED Talks. Thousands upon thousands of people of every age have seen TED Talks that can teach you how to see the world differently. There’s one TED Talk done by Drew Dudley that I’ve seen probably 5 or 6 times. It’s taught me to see leadership as a less daunting task. When I became a drum major, a very important leader in my band program, leading nearly 300 students my age seemed terrifying. But thanks to that TED video, I was able to see leadership as little moments that are attainable every single day, and it made the marching band season a fun and meaningful time in my life. Words have the power to make a positive impact on the world by opening people’s minds, pushing them to understand others and inspiring them toward change. Because there is nothing in the world more powerful than a sentence.

Even since I was little, I’ve been a shy girl. Talking to people has always been hard, and when I do, I often feel unheard. Lately, I’ve been able to come out of my shell more, but over the years of shyness, I learned a valuable skill. I learned how to listen well. This has helped me in every close relationship in my life. My brother and I have been fairly close our whole lives. Now, as I drive him to school in the morning, we get to talk over some things and listen to each other. Oftentimes, our parents, who are both more outgoing than we are, don’t understand our shy sides. We both are introverts, more comfortable in our own worlds. But that means, in those times, I am able to listen with a knowing ear, bouncing off my reality too so that my brother feels less alone. In the end, listening is the core of what I do to understand how the people in my life truly feel. I also see listening come into play with the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I’ve learned that, sometimes, you don’t need to say a word. Oftentimes while I am on FaceTime late at night with my boyfriend, we just listen to each other rant about the frustrations we have with the world. We feel supported, knowing that at least one person knows how we truly feel about what’s going on in the world around us. Simply listening, without even responding, gives everyone a chance to feel that they are not alone. In the end, my ability to listen well helps me show my friends and family that I love and support them in everything that they do.

At the beginning of 2020, I chose a word to guide that year. The word was joy. Little did I understand how much I would need that word to push me to keep going, despite feeling lost at times. I remember that year was hard for everyone, but it was hard for me individually. Suddenly, I didn’t talk to my friends nearly as much as normal, and I found it hard to stay connected to everyone since I didn’t participate in much social media. Throughout the spring, I kept myself busy, but I wasn’t truly happy. By the end of the year, I knew what joy meant. It meant holding strong in the face of trial—pushing to see the good despite everything burning around you. In the time since that realization, I’ve come to fight to see the good in the little things in my life. I will always be stressed, but I know that a look at the stars and constellations in the night sky will be my relief and put everything in perspective. I can play a board game with my family and appreciate the many laughs we had. I can find joy in playing my flute or listening to some pump-up music. Thanks to all of my experiences of learning what true joy is, I can find small pieces of goodness that bring me joy throughout my whole life.

If I could tell the world anything, and everyone would hear it, I would say, “You are not alone.” Although this line is probably cliche, and I’m probably not the only applicant who has responded this way, I wouldn’t change it. This line brings hope, and it brings people together. Part of being human is going through struggles in your life. Whether these be mental or physical, your struggles may be painful enough to make you feel like you are the only one out there who is suffering in the way you are. But seeing as there are nearly 8 billion people in the world, you aren’t alone. Someone else out there understands you. And even if you can’t find anyone in the same situation as you, you can surely find someone to support you. There are family members, friends, even total strangers who are straight up kind, ready to support you through every step of your life. For me, lately I’ve had a hard time with my health. I know, though, that my mom understands my pain, and I know that my boyfriend will be there to cheer me up on the worst days. Another big reason this sentence is so crucial for people to hear is that it brings people together. I stole this line from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. After this musical was shown to the world, many people started sharing about it, posting online and reconnecting in person with people who were lost. This line has already been an inspiration for so many, and I don’t believe that the hope from this will ever burn out. If this message could surround the world, people would know that hope is out there because you are not alone.

When I was in middle school, I avoided guys as much as possible. I decided that a boyfriend in middle school or high school was a stupid idea, and no relationship would ever last. When, in junior year, I did end up finding a boyfriend who treated me with kindness and respect, he mentioned something to me that I had never thought about in the past. He told me that my smile was beautiful and infectious. I started looking in the mirror and in photos, realizing that my boyfriend wasn’t wrong. My smile was amazing, and it made other people happy. This was huge. A smile can instantly make someone’s day better, and I know this from experience. When I’m making a sandwich for a customer at Subway, where I work, a smile and a little “thank you” goes a long way in making my night bearable. When my teachers, who are pushing the curriculum faster and faster every day, smile at the class and tell a joke, it takes away a piece of the stress that is rising with all of the coursework I have on my plate. And when my mom smiles at me in the morning before I leave for school, I am suddenly ready to conquer the day. A smile is a way to give goodness to everyone. Now I know that my smile, big and a little lopsided, can give another person a glimpse of happiness and hope throughout their day. I am able to find great value in my smile because of how I can help people and make a difference in the lives of so many.

When I was a sophomore in high school, the unexpected hit me hard. I was diagnosed, after weeks of strange symptoms and anxiety, with ulcerative colitis. Ulcerative colitis, or UC, is a chronic condition that has many uncomfortable side effects and puts me at higher risk for other illnesses, like colon cancer, in my future. Recently, I’ve had what’s called a flare. This means that my symptoms have spiked, caused by a variety of reasons, and that my medication possibly may not be effective anymore. The flare I had was very difficult, coming with much mental and physical stress due to new medications that I was taking to sway my symptoms and help me back into remission. For a couple of months, most days I woke up tired. My mood was back and forth, and my temper was outrageous. My back hurt, and I was either starving or nauseous, but never truly in between. And for those months, I continued to push through. I woke up every day. Although I couldn’t always reasonably give 110% due to my physical weakness, I gave all I could to making each day a good one. I made sure to take care of my body, and I continued to pursue high grades in school during the finals season. Today, as I push for a more stable recovery, I can say that in those days, I persevered, continuing to be the best I could in difficult circumstances.

I was furious. My family was playing some Pop-Tart card game, and I had no idea what I was doing. I was definitely losing the game, and I was sitting there, freezing from just having spent most of the last two hours out in the cold playing golf. I announced that I was going to grab some chocolate cheesecake out of the refrigerator downstairs. Chocolate makes me happy. Although this is very true, and anyone in my life can testify to it, this essay isn’t about that. As I walked down the stairs, my family and I were yelling down the hallway at each other, teasing about how to play this game that no one understood. By the time I reached the refrigerator, a smile had crept up my cheeks. When I came back, my dad was on the floor laughing, and soon enough, so was I. My family makes me happy. My mom, dad, and brother Evan are the greatest people in the universe. I can always count on them to bring a smile to my face. No matter what we are doing, we always have a fun time together. The memories I have will always prove that. I remember the times we played the card game Pitch at the dinner table, each team accusing the other of cheating. I remember the days we would watch movies, both of my parents asleep by the end. I remember the car rides of road trips when we would play I Spy games until we couldn’t stand the boredom. These memories and so many others make me truly happy. If I have nothing else, I have my family to support me and make me laugh until I’m rolling on the floor, forgetting why I was ever mad in the first place.

I have a t-shirt hanging in my closet that says, “Music is the language of the soul.” This quote truly embodies how I feel about how music speaks in my life (which is probably why I wear this t-shirt all of the time). Music, with lyrics or without, has moved me since I was little, and it continues to change me to this day, especially since I started playing the flute in the 6th grade. There are many songs that I love, but the song that keeps me going on the hardest of days has to be “Priceless” by the band For King and Country. This song talks about the beauty of every person—that you are worth more than any price tag that is placed on you. My favorite line says, “I see a rose in bloom at the sight of you.” This line gives me hope. Although I might feel hopeless and worthless at times, this line shows me that I am still impossibly beautiful as I’m growing into the person I am meant to be. Growing is still a time of magic. No matter what, this song shows me that I am priceless, and that only God can truly define my worth. I am sure that this melody will encourage me for the rest of my life.

I’ve been a fan of John Green for a couple of years, especially since I began following his YouTube videos. When I heard he had a new, nonfiction book coming out back in 2021, I immediately pre-ordered it. The Anthropocene Reviewed: Essays on a Human-Centered Planet easily became one of the most inspiring books I’ve ever put my hands on. The book is divided into different essays that review pieces of the modern world on a five-star scale. Some of the essays are funny, others are sentimental. A few almost made me cry (a title that very few books have the privilege of holding). In this book, Green gives a glimpse of what wonder can be found in the world. For example, in one of his essays he writes, “Here’s the plain truth, at least as it has been shown to me: We are never far from wonders.” In this quote, and many others like it, Green gave me a glimpse at big ideas that make me think more complexly about the world in front of me. There is no book that has left me quite like The Anthropocene Reviewed did, and I hope that I can reflect those feelings of amazement of the world into every facet of my life.

This morning, I rolled over in bed and grabbed my phone off of my night stand, turning off the alarm as fast as a half-coherent person can. Then I rolled over in my bed, hugging the blue pillows to my left, and opened my phone. In the bottom right corner, I open the YouVersion Bible app. I’ve spent the last 1,170 days doing this, and I don’t plan to stop it anytime soon. Waking up in the morning with the ability to connect with my faith immediately is a huge motivation for me. I find a lot of purpose in reading the Word of God. There are many verses that give me an example to work toward. For example, Matthew 23:11, which reads, “The greatest among you must be your servant,” gives me a direction to follow throughout the rest of my day. I take that and try my best on that day to serve those around me, helping them survive the hard days. Every day, I can find myself pushing for a better me because of my faith in God. Not only do I find purpose in the word, but I also find peace. Even when I’m struggling with my health or I have a million things flying across my plate, I know that I can count on my faith in God to hold me strong. I can start my day with confidence, knowing that I can make it through one more day. The Bible and it’s big message of hope gives me motivation every morning. Once I finally roll out of bed and zombie-walk toward the shower, I am able to smile and be sure that I am going to give my all to making each day a great one.

When I applied to be a Varsity drum major for the Millard North High School Marching Band, I attended practice sessions to understand what was expected of me in the interview and in the future if I was chosen for the position. One important thing to learn was conducting—using your arms in a beat pattern that tells the band how to stay in time. But at practice sessions, I was given little help for my conducting form. I naturally understood how to conduct once given the basic principles. After being chosen as a drum major, I worked hard on my conducting technique, perfecting it more and more each day. The directors often commented throughout the season that my conducting was strong and easily readable, something that was needed for the band to understand where we were within the marching show. In the end, I was chosen to lead many competition performances because of my strong conducting abilities. Today, I continue to practice by conducting to the radio and other music that I listen to. I am able to pick up the beat to any song and get my hands well in time. I take this with me to basketball pep band and other drum major duties that I will have throughout the rest of this school year. Although conducting is just a small piece of the position, doing it well gives me relief and helps me feel confident as I lead the band, and with practice, this will stay in place.

There are two big things that I do to take care of my mental health. Journaling and reading. Every night, I turn on the lamp in my bedroom and grab my yellow journal. On the front in black Sharpie marker there is a Shawn Mendes quote that reads, “You don’t need to be an expert to speak on matters of the heart.” When I open that journal and write about my thoughts, emotions, and the events of the past day, I am able to reflect on what I really need to take into the following day. I am no expert, but I am able to de-stress, leaving all of the negative inside of those pages. That way, the positive of tomorrow can shine through. The other action I take to take care of my mental health is reading. I love to read, and getting enveloped in a story allows me to leave the stresses of this world behind. When I am engrossed in a book, I am able to let the world fade away, forgetting for that moment all of the schoolwork, scholarship deadlines, and band events that are fast approaching. These two things, reading and journaling, give me a chance to breathe so that I can continue working hard every day.

“No one deserves to disappear.” —Dear Evan Hansen For a long time, I would’ve said that I believed this through and through. But until recently, I didn’t know what it truly meant. This quote means no one, not a single person, should be lacking the support they need to make it through the hardest moments of their life. I started to truly understand this because of my own experience in the recent months. I have a chronic illness called ulcerative colitis. Many people don’t totally understand my disease, but for the sake of this essay, you need to understand the idea of a “flare.” A flare is when there is a relative high in the disease and its symptoms. Many things, including things like medication failure and the weather, can cause a flare. Recently, I had a flare that lasted over a month, coming with something that I hadn’t expected—the negative mental side effects. For the two years that I’ve dealt with my disease, I’ve taken medication every day. But starting on new medications because of the flare, I realized that there are mental side effects to physical ailments. Suddenly, I was moody all the time, up late at night, switching between laughing and crying with seemingly no in-between. I was tired all of the time, lacking motivation in everything I did, and I never really wanted to leave my bed. Mentally, the new medication and its negative side effects had taken a toll, and I felt as if I was falling apart at the seams. This experience had a deep effect on how I shape my goals for the future. The biggest lesson—I have to take care of myself. In today’s society, people everywhere are preaching self-care to help one survive this crazy whirlwind of life. Until recently, I didn’t realize the importance of slowing down. All throughout middle school and high school, I’ve run myself until I couldn’t any longer. During the school year I would push myself to the breaking point with classes, volleyball, band, Church, and academic clubs. I would end up sick over breaks, every piece of me (both mental and physical) giving out when a few of the demands disappeared. I want to be able to learn how to take care of my health in a sustainable way, because for most of my life, I’ve never really understood how. Last year, I started taking care of my mental health in a new way by journaling. Every night, I pull out my yellow notebook and let out the biggest feelings from the day that had passed. This allowed me to let out all of the stress and hurt from hard days. In the coming year, I’m hoping to take care of my mental and physical health together by paying attention to the food I eat. I want to eat healthier so that my body has longer-lasting energy to get me through days that never seem to end. Not only have my goals changed due to my chronic illness, but so has the way I treat the people close to me. From the beginning of my diagnosis, one big question arose—who do I tell? I was convinced that not everyone needed to know about my illness. It didn’t define my life, and I didn’t want it to. I tell the people that I trust the most about my illness because I know that they will be there to listen to me no matter the costs. But I’ve made mistakes, which sent me into more stress and higher levels of high school drama, draining my mental energy. I told a person that wasn’t ready to hear it yet, and it began consuming our conversations. I showed up in the wrong places where he was present, and suddenly random people, who had no idea who I was as a person, were learning about my condition. They were judging the illness, not the actions, giving way to hurt. I wasn’t my condition, but by telling the wrong person, I was to some people. I made a decision to not tell him about my flare, and it was, for the most part, a safer decision. Into the future, I know that this illness doesn’t need to be over me, and taking time to share about myself as my trust develops with someone is a smart way to give myself needed space. This way, I can take care of who I am while also giving my all into the relationships in my life that matter most. In the end, this flare has really changed how I view the world overall. As I shared before, learning how mental and physical health bounce off of each other has shown me how to give the world in big ways. One thing I’ve dreamed about doing is learning American Sign Language, and I plan to take classes over it in college. Now I am seeing how vital this could be to my future. When you are limited in ability, whether that be with a chronic illness like me, or the inability to hear, your mental health has to reap the effects as well. In learning ASL, I would give people a voice and take away a few of the stresses of communicating with a stubborn world. If I can do anything to help even a couple of people cope with stress and survive tough moments mentally, I will gladly do it, and I see learning ASL as a great opportunity. “No one deserves to disappear.” I believe that with all of my heart, and I hope that someday, all of the world will too.