The days lasted forever and once over, another began. This pattern is on repeat. Every. Single. Day. I didn’t realize at the time how overwhelmed, anxious and depressed I’d become. I was in sixth grade balancing a new school, a rigorous schedule for drama club, and soccer, and navigating life as a preteen. I had no clue how to seek help. Luckily my mom, who has a background in mental health, noticed the changes in me and sought help. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I began to see a therapist, started antidepressant medications, reigned in my schedule, and actively sought ways to improve my mental status.
My beliefs about mental illness have changed because of my experiences. I used to think of it as something that happens to other people, not me. As a senior now, I no longer experience those feelings of hopelessness yet the memory remains vivid in my mind serving as a reminder that life can change in an instant. I never want to revisit that dark place although life continues to present unique challenges to overcome. Adjusting to the uncertainties of a global pandemic over the past few years has been hard for me. The difficulties that I experienced in the 6th grade awakened me to prioritize my mental health in a society that places a stigma on mental illness. I’ve been able to stay mentally strong while simultaneously working to end the stigma that surrounds mental illness over the past few years by simply sharing my story and validating those who face mental health challenges.
The darkness that I experienced was poignant. It shook me and affected me immensely. I believe that all of us struggle with our physical or mental wellness at some point and we all need to be cognizant of this. Our relationships depend on us acknowledging each other’s physical and mental well-being. Having experienced depression and anxiety at such a young age, I feel that I have a better understanding than most. I feel like my relationships with others are more genuine as I can relate to their struggles. Healthy relationships that provide emotional support are a huge factor in my current mental well-being. As a depressed pre-teen starting a new middle school, I was simply trying to be liked by any and everyone. Now I have genuine friends from that I can seek support in times of stress.
Even several years later, my experiences with depression and anxiety affect my career aspirations to an extent. I aspire to work as an Environmental Scientist and anxiety and self-doubt at times can rear their ugly head. Will I be accepted into college? How will I afford college? How will I live on my own? What if I am choosing the wrong major? These questions and several more like them, stir up old feelings of anxiousness. However, over the years, I have learned positive ways to counteract anxious thoughts. I am no longer in need of medication to help me function daily. I have learned a great deal about myself from my struggles and intend to utilize this experience in my interactions with all college, social, or work-related interactions.
Mental and physical wellness takes effort. Just like eating, sleeping, hydrating well, and exercising to promote physical wellness, I engage in activities that promote my mental wellness. I have found that spending time in nature is hugely beneficial for my mental status. It centers me and lessens any anxiety and boosts my mood. I have started fishing, camping, climbing, and hiking. Fresh air and sunshine on my face outside all year round are often all I need to boost my mood and center myself. My favorite is camping at Red River Gorge in Kentucky for a whole weekend.
Volunteering is also good for my mental wellness. I adore animals and volunteering for an animal rescue fills my heart. It’s difficult to feel down while holding and loving a litter of tiny kittens. I feel good making a difference and helping these homeless animals. I also enjoy volunteering for several other groups in my community such as Hoxworth Blood Center, organizing blood drives, volunteering for Trust for Life to increase awareness of organ donation, and hosting an organ donation drive in my community, I also have organized a community food collection drive for food insecure kids in my community. Giving back is uplifting in and of itself and knowing you are helping others in need is a wonderful feeling.
Mental wellness is so very important as it has a role in every aspect of life. I am grateful for my mental and physical wellness, but I do not take them for granted. I plan to continue to be a voice for those struggling with their mental illness and use my personal experience to be a support for friends who may experience similar situations. I am grateful for opportunities, such as this scholarship, that put a spotlight on mental illness and help to become a voice for those struggling and those who have gone before us.