November of 2019, my mother, brother, and I had to leave our family home because of my dad and his vicious alcoholism. At around 12:30 AM, I was woken up by the sounds of an ambulance and cops outside of my home. My dad had gotten in very serious trouble with his friends, and that was the last straw for my mom.
We packed as much as we could and left to stay at my friend’s house. With two families living in one house, it was difficult feeling like you were always in the way. With my friend’s sisters away at college, my brother and I stayed in their rooms while my mom stayed in the basement. We were fortunate enough to have a place to stay in this awkward and confusing time.
Leaving my childhood home because of my father had created a new reality for me. I was living with my best friend, which was fun at times, but I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. We ended up staying for four months while my mom saved enough money to support us on her own. It was an excruciatingly depressing time for my family. My father, as per usual was up to his antics and in denial about us leaving. His alcoholism had increased to the point where in June of 2020, he was diagnosed with cirrhosis.
With him being in the hospital, my brother and I had a lot to figure out mentally and emotionally. A man who had caused our whole family immense pain, took away our innocence, and who was also our father, was now in the hospital dying. The end of July, beginning of August, my father had done hospice in our apartment. He lived for a little more than two weeks and passed away on August 15th. Watching him slowly pass had hurt tremendously. He lost his color, he turned yellow, lost his hair, and couldn’t speak. It felt like he disintegrated right in front of me. He died with his two best friends reading his favorite bible verses by his side.
From this experience, I learned how to stay strong and resilient in troubling times. All while this was happening (2019-2020), I was a junior in high school. I was taking three AP classes that were computer science, biology, and english, as well as pre-calc honors all while maintaining a 3.8 GPA. As well as committing to Widener University to play softball and earning a presidential scholarship a few weeks before my father passed.
I learned the importance of pushing through anything that happens in life, good or bad. Resilience is an amazing characteristic I was able to acquire during a depressing and confusing time in my life. Of course it’s a tragic event, and the grieving process is important to feel fully and work through, but with the help of family and friends, anything is possible. Of course in the future, I can always look back on this moment and remember the good times I had with my dad, but also recognize that I am a strong, independent woman and can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I would never wish this experience on someone else, but I am grateful for it, and I know my dad is in a happier place, looking down on me. He is proud of me and family and despite everything he has put us through, I miss him everyday.