My name is Elizabeth Rataj, and I am an artist. Since I discovered my passion for photography, I have tried to find new ways to make something that will leave a lasting mark, and about a year ago I had an idea. Just before I began to find my artistic voice, I was a soccer player, and I was a very good player at that. I had been involved in the sport since I started walking, and I even had dreams of becoming a professional soccer player. Even though I wanted to achieve those dreams so badly, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was one of the only girls in my class who played soccer, but most of the guys I knew took it seriously and were naturally good. I was so jealous. All I cared about was being the best in a male-dominated field because I grew up in a male-dominated world. After I turned 14, I realized that I never really enjoyed soccer the way that the boys did. They were passionate about the sport, while I was passionate about being better than them. I then made the decision to walk away, and at the time it felt like I was betraying all women across the world, but later I figured out that I would have been betraying them if I had become something that I wasn't truly meant to become. Fast forward to my senior year of high school... I had made peace with my passion for art a couple of years prior, and I needed an idea for a portfolio. It couldn't just consist of random pieces; all the photos had to answer a question, but I couldn't decide what that question was until I remembered how I felt leaving soccer and that is when I knew that I could make an impact with my art. I decided that my sustained investigation would be "How can I turn my favorite female historical figures into art?" I gathered information about different women throughout history, whether they were queens, saints, activists, athletes, writers, scientists, or mothers. I wanted these women to be examples to all girls who went through or are currently going through what I did. I wanted my message to be that we as women do not have to be more successful than men in order to be successful. This is a portfolio that I will be adding pieces to until the day I die, because as long as the world does not run out of women, I will not run out of ideas. Society needs art because it is what differentiates us for the better, and I believe that one day my portfolio will speak to a girl like me, even if it doesn't speak to the boys who beat me out for the 6A soccer team. The reality is that not all art is for everyone, but that is the beautiful thing about it. When you are in museum, and only one out of the thousands of pieces there speaks to you, that piece will have a lasting impact. Art is meant to be enjoyed by all, and it can only do so when different fractions of it speak to different groups of people.

I enjoy reading thoroughly. Over the past 4 years, I have read around 100 books. Most were entertaining, and some taught me a few things, but only one inspired me to be who I am now. I read "Left to Tell" by Imaculee Ilibagiza, a non-fiction story about her horrific experience in the Rwandan genocide. Imaculee grew up Tutsi, while most of the people in Rwanda were Hutu, so she had always experienced a sort of isolation and at many times prejudice for existing. Many Hutus viewed themselves as superior to the Tutsis, and their hatred was fueled by the media every day. One tragic day, President Juvenal Habyarimana of Rwanda was killed when his plane was shot down, and thus began the appalling ethnic genocide of the Tutsi population. Imaculee hid at the local pastor's house. Pastor Murinzi let her hide in the bathroom, risking his own life. She hid there with a few other Tutsi women, and they all stayed in the small cramped bathroom for three months with little to nothing to eat, becoming skinnier and weaker with each passing day. Occasionally, Hutu extremists would arrive at the pastor's house looking for new blood. Throughout this time, Imaculee prayed, asking God to forgive her for her hatred of the Hutu extremists, while also feeling comforted by his presence, and knowing that she will be okay whether she makes it out of the massacre alive or whether she goes to heaven. Growing up Catholic she always had a strong faith in the Lord, and that faith helped her while she was going through hell on Earth. Not only did she have faith, but she had hope. She planned to study and become fluent in English during her time in the bathroom. She read the Bible and used some English dictionaries the pastor gave her while in the bathroom, and she studied hard. She planned on using these skills to one day work at the UN to restore peace. She also began to envision a soldier that would come and save her, because imagining certain events and wishing them to happen can increase the likelihood of them becoming true, and the mysterious soldier ended up looking very similar to Imaculee's future husband. She relied on God to get her through the atrocity of the Rwandan genocide. After 91 days, the pastor and some of his sons helped her and the other women in the bathroom escape to a French camp where she reunited with a couple of old friends, who informed her of her parents and two brothers' deaths. She was devastated, but she survived. Despite the tragedy she faced, she remained faithful and hopeful. She put all of her trust in God, and He allowed her to be at peace amidst the chaos, and that is what I have taken away from this book. Before reading this book, I had struggled with my faith in God and I hesitated to put my trust in Him after going through a debilitating depression, but I learned that God doesn't create these situations. He works with you through them, and He allows you to use them as an opportunity to reach out to Him. My goal in life is to never lose faith in Him no matter what happens because life is unfortunate with Him, but it is hopeless without Him, and without hope, life stays unfortunate.

As someone who has read and watched "The Hunger Games," "Harry Potter," "Little Women," "The Lord of the Rings," "The Silence of the Lambs," and so many more, "Matilda" a book written by Roald Dahl and a movie directed by Danny DeVito, is by far my favorite book to film adaptation. "Matilda" has always had a special place in my heart. I was in 4th grade when I read the book, and I was in 6th grade when I watched the movie. I have a deep appreciation for Matilda's relationship with Miss Honey, and even though the audience is primarily children, both the book and the film brilliantly touch on the topic of emotional and mental abuse, which is something that both characters suffered through. Matilda's incredible emotional intelligence allowed her to be aware of her parents' negligence, and resent them for it. The concept of children punishing their parents seems unreal, but Matilda is unreal too, and this detail allows the reader to view Matilda as an equal to her parents, even though she is just a small child. The film presents this very well with Mara Wilson, Matilda's actor. Throughout the movie, she speaks to the adults in her life in a calm and collected manner, while her parents and Miss Trunchbull react emotionally and Miss Honey responds with the same contentment, which is an aspect in the book but is made more obvious in the film. Movies based on books tend to leave out crucial details and characters. For example in "The Hunger Games," Madge's character is completely left out as well as the scene where Katniss is given bread from District 11. The movies rarely touch on Finnick's experience as a sex symbol and the Capitol's sexual exploitation of young children. In "The Help," Minny's abusive husband is barely included, Constantine's daughter having light skin was changed into something completely different with even her name being changed, and Louvenia and Robert Brown aren't ever mentioned. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Matilda is my favorite book to film adaptation because they don't leave such important aspects of the story out. The film gives even more details than the book in some areas such as Miss Honey's childhood as an orphan and victim of severe trauma at the hands of Miss Trunchbull, as well as Harry Wormwood's career as a criminal who buys stolen car parts, and then uses them to make cheap and easily destructible vehicles that he sells for outrageous prices. "Matilda" is a brilliant book, and the film adaptation is the first movie I watched that I ended up enjoying just as much as the book.

I have been listening to Billie Eilish since I was in 6th grade, and I am so incredibly proud of how far she has come since then. I always admired her unique soft voice. It added an aspect to her music that calmed me, which is why she was and is one of my favorite artists of all time. My all-time favorite song by Billie Eilish is "Happier Than Ever". I have always known of this song, but I didn't listen to it until I found myself in a difficult relationship where I was being constantly mistreated. Listening to the song for the first time made me realize how similar I was feeling to the narrator, and it was my sign to leave as fast as I could, and I did. Afterward, I kept most of the details to myself out of shame, hence the lyrics "And I don't talk sh*t about you on the internet, never told anyone anything bad, 'cause that sh*t's embarrassing, you were my everything, and all that you did was make me f*ckin' sad. "Happier Than Ever" is a beautiful expression of anger, and although anger shouldn't linger it is still an important emotion to have, and this song helped me through that phase. My second favorite song is "when the party's over". It was one of those songs that I never knew the lyrics to, but I listened to it all the time. Every time I hear it, I am taken back to Christmas of 2019, a time when I would play it on repeat. Everything then felt so simple and comfortable, a lot like that song. It will forever be a very important part of my childhood and my life, even if I never personally related to it. My final song is "idontwannabeyouanymore." This is my third favorite song by Billie Eilish, and my fifth favorite song ever. I and many other women in this world have struggled with body image. It is a very disheartening feeling looking in the mirror and wishing you were different. It has been pushed onto us that we cannot be loved if we have stomach rolls, long noses, or crooked teeth, and Billie Eilish captures that feeling perfectly in this song. I will forever be grateful for Billie Eilish and her music. She has made a mark in the music industry and a mark on me as well. I hope she continues to create.

I am a photographer and my lifelong project is to create as many portraits as possible that represent my favorite women in history, whether they are scientists, artists, writers, saints, athletes, queens, or mothers. I want to create art that depicts leaders. As a photographer, I work with people who are willing to model and pose for my projects, and in doing so I cannot just tell them what to do and give them orders. I give them criticism and praise, and I allow them to give me those as well. My job as a leader is to collaborate because we are equals who are both participating in this project, and it is my responsibility to acknowledge that. While my relationship with the woman I am celebrating with these photos is important, the model's relationship with her is important as well, because she is the face of the photo. I trust her to know how to represent this woman in history in a way that both of us agree with. I have photographed Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Lady Diana Spencer, Mary Shelley, Marilyn Monroe, and several others, and something important that I always consider when I choose a model is "Who not only exhibits her physical features, but her personality and her drive as well?" I have never gone wrong with this question, because the women who I have chosen to lead are leaders themselves, and that is why we can work so easily together. I would not be a leader if I did not allow myself to be led by others as well. Queen Elizabeth I is a queen, which is obvious given her title. She led her country just like how Lane, her model, leads her house as the oldest daughter of six. Joan of Arc is a saint, who led the French military and inspired her soldiers to be courageous. Rainn, her model, inspired our soccer teammates to be courageous on the field, or the battlefield as I like to say. Lady Diana Spencer is the people's princess, who demonstrated kindness to the people of her country. Megan, her model, was a popular classmate of mine, who demonstrated kindness not only to me but to our entire class. Mary Shelley is a writer who created a work criticizing ambition and the power of technology. Abigail, her model, criticized the technology of today because she was inspired by Mary Shelley herself. Marilyn Monroe was a smart lady who was not only beautiful, but she found every woman to be beautiful as well. Laura, her model, is one of the most intelligent people I know, and she is intelligent enough to be the beauty in everything in everyone, just like Monroe. I will move forward with this portfolio for the rest of my life, and I will continue to lead in this exact way. Even when it comes to photos that will not go into this specific portfolio, I will look at the character of my photos and choose people to work with based on how they view the artwork they are representing. A leader recognizes other leaders.

I had been attending art classes since I was in second grade, and there was always something very freeing about that hour and a half I spent every day creating. As I moved forward with photography in high school, I began feeling overwhelmed with that class's challenges. It wasn’t like second grade at all and it wasn’t just another elective that would get me an easy A, which was a rude awakening. My photography teacher, Mrs Robbins, noticed this, and she criticized me for it. I would always make excuses for why I had to turn in assignments late or didn’t try as hard as I should have on my last project. I would simply lay the blame on everything and everyone but myself. One day during my sophomore year of high school, Mrs Robbins assigned us a project, and it wasn’t exactly an art project. We had to put together presentations about various photographers. I have always been good at research and presentations, so I took it as an opportunity to prove that I was a good student. I practiced my speech and I made my slideshow look amazing, paying attention to every last detail. When the time came for me to present I did it and knocked it out of the park. I know that I did because later that day Mrs Robbins approached me after school, and told me she was impressed with my slideshow, and my self-esteem skyrocketed. I took Photo 4 in my junior year, and I went over some of my artwork with Mrs Robbins. She picked out four pieces for me to submit for the scholastic art and writing competition. After waiting for a few months I got the results back, and I had won two honorable mentions and one silver key. I felt incredibly accomplished that I had been recognized by such a prestigious competition. I was proud of myself, and Mrs Robbins was very proud of me as well. I took AP Art and Design during my senior year of high school. I created a portfolio of my favorite women in history, and I was stressed out beyond belief. Half of the pieces I made were not strong enough for Mrs Robbins, and I started falling behind. I continued to create work, and some of my pieces were good, but others did not meet the standard, but no matter how frustrated I was, I never blamed Mrs Robbins, because I trusted her. By the end of the year I had created 34 pieces, and 15 of them were to be selected for my final portfolio. As Mrs. Robbins reviewed everything with me, I came across several beautiful pieces that I never would have created if Mrs. Robbins hadn’t pushed me so hard. Once we had compiled all 15 pieces, we submitted them, and as we got closer to the end of the year, I couldn’t help the amount of gratitude that I felt toward Mrs Robbins. We got off to a rocky start, but by the time I graduated, she was my favorite teacher, because she had faith in me even in moments where it was probably very hard to. I got a 4 on my AP portfolio, and I got an additional gold key and honorable mention from scholastic art and writing. I will forever credit her. I am going to St Edward's to pursue a degree in photography, and my goal is to continue to add work to the portfolio I started in high school until I die because as long as the world doesn't run out of women, I will not run out of ideas, and I plan to open a studio to have a space where I can accomplish that. Every penny that I make or save will go toward that studio. When I tell people that I want to be a photographer, they usually think about wedding photography or school pictures. I want to bring creativity back into this field and create artwork that will shock, inspire, and persuade. I hope to make photography an art again. When I visit art museums, I see plenty of paintings and sculptures, as well as many black and white photographs, and they are all incredibly beautiful and moving, but there never seems to be enough representation when it comes to the photography community. I want to change that. I have joined my county's art guild where I will submit my artwork and showcase it in different exhibits, and after I open my studio and add enough photographs to my portfolio I will create my own showcases and sell my art to people who have the same appreciation for photography as I do. Art is not a money-making field that everyone can be successful in, but I am an artist, and I believe that I will succeed.

I want to be a photographer, but not a wedding or school picture photographer. I want to make artwork that will inspire, shock, and persuade people, and I know exactly what I want to create. Just before I began to find my artistic voice, I was a soccer player, and I even had dreams of playing professionally. Even though I wanted to achieve those dreams so badly, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was one of the only girls in my class who played soccer, but most of the guys I knew took it seriously and were naturally good. I wanted to be better than them, because who am I as a woman if I can't compete with men? I practiced so I could show them that they weren't better than me, even though none of them made that claim in the first place. All I cared about was being the best in a male-dominated field because I grew up in a male-dominated world. I soon realized that I never really enjoyed soccer the way that the boys did. They were passionate about the sport, while I was passionate about being better than them. I then made the decision to walk away, and at the time it felt like I was betraying women as a whole, but later I figured out that I would have been betraying them if I had become something that I wasn't truly meant to become. I took photography as an elective in high school, and at first, I did it for an easy A, but it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. Photography was something that I enjoyed. I would take my camera everywhere I went, and a couple of random photos I have taken just from walking around ended up winning awards. It took me ten years to realize that I didn't have a future in soccer, and it took me 6 months to realize that I had a future in photography. I knew that it was what I wanted to do with my life because I have always had a great fascination with my surroundings. I would look at the church near my school and wonder how it only took three years to build it, I would eat at a restaurant and wonder why the food there was so much better than the food at home, or I would have a conversation with another person and wonder about their life and how there are almost 8 billion of these complex beings all across the world with their own stories and feelings. I have always been interested in reality, and with photography, I can capture it. During my senior year of high school, I needed to come up with a portfolio. I thought about what I went through when I gave up soccer, and I realized that I didn't want other young girls to feel the same, so I decided that my sustained investigation would be turning my favorite women in history into artwork. I gathered research on as many women as I could think of whether they were queens, writers, scientists, athletes, saints, or mothers. I wanted to depict successful women, and a woman doesn't have to be more successful than a man to be successful. This is a portfolio that I will be adding pieces to until the day I die, because as long as the world does not run out of women, I will not run out of ideas.

"Nothing will go wrong," I thought as I started my first day of freshman year. I took all of my classes online for the first semester and I thought it would be so easy. I ended up having to drop Honors Bio because I was failing, I quit my school soccer team after the other girls made me want to quit the entire sport that I had been playing for 10 years, I got a crush on a boy and then I found out he wanted to be a priest. I wasn't used to so much disappointment in one year, so I felt like I lost everything. Everything went wrong. "Everything will go wrong," I thought as I started my first day of sophomore year. I started the year out with barely any friends and crippling anxiety. I thought I was going to die. I ended up making friends, I started dating someone, I went to therapy, and I was happy. After Christmas break, I had a falling out with one of my friends, another one of them moved away, my best friend stopped calling me after she got a boyfriend, and to make matters worse my own boyfriend and I broke up, but then I discovered a passion for photography and art. Things were a little rough, but in the ocean, rough waters go up and down, and I would rather be up and down than just down. Some things went wrong, but I didn't lose everything. "Some things will go wrong, but that's okay," I thought as I started my first day of junior year. My best friend was still ignoring me for her boyfriend and my Physics class was making me spiral, but I had made a new friend in one of my classes. By the second semester, my best friend and I talked everything out and we were okay, I had made several new senior friends, and I won three scholastic art and writing awards for my photography. During Spring Break I went to Paris and Rome on a school trip with my friends, and that entire trip could make up a whole different 500-word essay. My friend and I had a falling out in the middle of the trip, my best friend's ex asked her out again, and I had a panic attack and threw up when we went to see the Spanish steps. On the bright side, I took one of my favorite photos from atop those steps. By the last day of that trip, I had talked things out with my friend, and my best friend told me she was not going to date her ex again. Unfortunately by the end of the year, I had found out the truth about most of my friends, but my best friend still stuck by me. Everything went wrong, but I was okay. "Everything will go wrong, but I'll be okay," I thought as I started my first day of senior year. I had three real friends, two of whom were in college, my AP English class was taking my will to live, and the friend who betrayed me and turned my friends against me was living his best life, but by Christmas break all of my friends realized his true intentions and I was able to get them back, and I had an A in English. Of course, after a few months, I made the decision to stop being friends with them anyway, because if they were true friends they never would have left me in the first place, but I still had my best friend, and we were okay. I was okay. "I'll be okay," I tell myself as I prepare for my freshman year.

I am a photographer, and I specialize in portraiture. My lifelong project is to create as many portraits as possible that represent my favorite women in history, whether they are scientists, artists, writers, saints, athletes, queens, or mothers. I want to create art that depicts leaders. As a photographer, I work with people who are willing to model and pose for my projects, and in doing so I cannot just tell them what to do and give them orders. I give them criticism and praise, and I allow them to give me those as well. My job as a leader is to collaborate because we are equals who are both participating in this project, and it is my responsibility to acknowledge that. While my relationship with the woman I am celebrating with these photos is important, the model's relationship with her is important as well, because she is the face of the photo. I trust her to know how to represent this woman in history in a way that both of us agree with. I have photographed Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Lady Diana Spencer, Mary Shelley, Marilyn Monroe, and several others, and something important that I always consider when I choose a model is "Who not only exhibits her physical features, but her personality and her drive as well?" I have never gone wrong with this question, because the women who I have chosen to lead are leaders themselves, and that is why we can work so easily together. I would not be a leader if I did not allow myself to be led by others as well. Queen Elizabeth I is a queen, which is obvious given her title. She led her country just like how Lane, her model, leads her house as the oldest daughter of six. Joan of Arc is a saint, who led the French military and inspired her soldiers to be courageous. Rainn, her model, inspired our soccer teammates to be courageous on the field, or the battlefield as I like to say. Lady Diana Spencer is the people's princess, who demonstrated kindness to the people of her country. Megan, her model, was a popular classmate of mine, who demonstrated kindness not only to me but to our entire class. Mary Shelley is a writer who created a work criticizing ambition and the power of technology. Abigail, her model, criticized the technology of today because she was inspired by Mary Shelley herself. Marilyn Monroe was a smart lady who was not only beautiful, but she found every woman to be beautiful as well. Laura, her model, is one of the most intelligent people I know, and she is intelligent enough to be the beauty in everything in everyone, just like Monroe. A leader recognizes other leaders.

This scholarship will help me greatly, because every penny I earn from scholarship winnings will go toward my tuition, and the money that was going to go toward my tuition will instead go into a photography studio that I hope to complete while I am still in school. I am working on a lifelong project, and this studio will help me with that. During my senior year of high school, I needed an idea for a portfolio. It couldn't just consist of random pieces; all the photos had to answer a specific question. I decided that my sustained investigation would be "How can I turn my favorite female historical figures into art?" I gathered information about different women throughout history, whether they were queens, saints, activists, athletes, writers, scientists, or mothers. I have successfully depicted women like Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Lady Diana Spencer, Mary Shelley, Sylvia Plath, Helen Rubinstein, Marilyn Monroe, Alexandra Scott, Elizabeth de Mowbray, and Mary Jackson. I have created 10 pieces so far, and a photography studio will help me create even more because as long as the world doesn't run out of women, I will not run out of ideas. The $500 that I would be saving if I was awarded this scholarship could buy me plenty of props and backdrops, as well as some subscriptions to Adobe Creative Cloud apps such as Photoshop and Bridge. The money that isn't going toward my education will go toward my art, and every cent counts. I hope to make an impact on the photography industry by adding some creativity and self-expression back into the field, and I also hope that I can use my work to inspire women and young girls to be whatever they want to be because while I was becoming an artist I was in the middle of giving up a passion of mine, which was soccer. I felt guilty for giving up on it, and I felt like I was failing women all over the world. I thought I had to prove myself as a woman in a male-dominated field because I was a woman in a male-dominated world, and I don't want other girls to feel like that, because the truth is that I would have been failing women if I had forced myself to do something with my life that I wasn't truly called to do. I am an artist.

During my senior year of high school, I took AP 2D Art and Design. I needed to create fifteen different pieces of art that answered my chosen sustained investigation. I decided that my investigation would be "How can I take my favorite women in history and transform their stories, accomplishments, tragedies, and martyrdoms into art?" I started the class feeling very confident with my abilities, but I was in for a very rude awakening. My first three projects were Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, and Lady Diana Spencer. They were all a breeze and by this point, I was feeling good about my portfolio. My fourth piece is when things took a turn. I wanted to create a piece about Cleopatra, and the idea that I had in mind was so much harder to execute than I had originally thought. That was when I started falling behind. My fifth through ninth projects were also a little rough. There was potential in all of them, but I just wasn't finished with them; something was missing from each of them. By this point, we were about to start spring break. I had two months to create six entire projects, finish three of them, and redo three of them as well. Before we got out for break my teacher pulled me aside, and the very first thing she said was "Elizabeth...I am worried." I was worried too. I was already losing faith in myself as an artist and I didn't know what I was going to do. I was even considering dropping the class, but my teacher and I talked for fifteen minutes and we devised a plan. I needed to create five new projects over the break so I could get back on track. I knew that if I did this I would not be able to enjoy my break, but I was committed, so I got out my sketchbook and I planned my entire break. I researched Mary Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, Eliza Hamilton, Pocahontas, and Helen Rubinstein. I contacted models and I ordered props. I saw myself as a leader when I talked to all of the women who modeled for me and I told them what I wanted in the pieces they would be participating in. I guided them and I let them guide me as well. I realized during this time that being a leader wasn't just giving orders, it was collaborating and communicating, and because I was able to do that, I finished all five projects successfully, and I felt like I finally had room to breathe. After the break, I remembered how well I worked with those models, and I continued to do that with the next ones. By the end of the year, I had completed all of my projects and submitted them, and then I reached out to the amazing women who modeled for me and asked them for feedback. I talked to them about things I did to help them, as well as things that I could have done to help them but didn't. I noticed a major difference in feedback between the ones who modeled for me before and the ones during and after spring break. I learned what leadership was from the people I was leading, and that is how all good leaders should be. These women helped me get a score of 4 on my portfolio, and I would not be a good leader if I did not acknowledge their importance in my score, as well as my growth as an artist.

My truth is limited by uncertainty. It is temporary and changes over time, and it is at its strongest when influenced by God's truth. My truth is simply not The truth, and these are the differences between me and God. Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice." When I am at my lowest, I often do what seems right to me and what feels most comfortable. However, in reality, I may be clueless, choosing to believe only what I want to about God's word. My truth often leaves me confused, while God is not confused. I know that two plus two is four, and I know that "Frankenstein" was written by Mary Shelley, but I don't know how evil originated, and I don't know exactly how man was created. I don't fully know The truth, and I don't fully know God's truth. Isaiah 40:8 says, "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God endures forever." God's truth is permanent and eternal, whereas my truth is constantly changing based on the context of what has come and gone in my life. I am like a flower that was outlined in the previous verse, a flower that falls. It is perfectly natural for a flower to stop growing and eventually droop and wither away, just as it is natural for me to change as well, but it is not natural for God to change. If God doesn't change, neither does His word. I have formed several opinions over the same topics because I was never able to find an entirely correct answer, and sometimes it is impossible to because only God knows. John 17:17 says, "Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth." Although I will never fully know God's truth during this lifetime, what I do know about it shapes me. Everything that God says about love makes me holy, everything he says about faith makes me holy, and everything he says about hope makes me holy as well. God influences me, but I do not influence God. God's truth is The truth. It is never changing and isn't influenced by anything. Psalm 100:5 says, "For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations." My truth is limited by my humanity, while God's truth is limited by nothing.

I had been going to art classes since I was in second grade, and there was always something very freeing about that hour and a half-I spent every day creating. As I moved forward with photography in high school, I began feeling very overwhelmed with the challenges of that class. It wasn’t like second grade at all and it wasn’t just another elective that would get me an easy A, which was a rude awakening. My photography teacher, Mrs Robbins, noticed this, and she criticized me for it. I would always make excuses for why I had to turn in assignments late, or why I didn’t try as hard as I should have on my last project. I would simply lay the blame on everything and everyone but myself. One day during my sophomore year of high school, Mrs Robbins assigned us a project, and it wasn’t exactly an art project. We had to put together presentations about various photographers, and I have always been good at research and presentations, so I took it as an opportunity to prove that I was a good student. I practiced my speech and I made my slideshow look amazing, paying attention to every last detail. When the time came for me to present, I did it, and I knocked it out of the park. I know that I did because later that day Mrs Robbins approached me after school and told me that she was impressed with my slideshow, and my self-esteem skyrocketed. I took Photo 4 in my junior year, and I went over some of my artwork with Mrs Robbins. She picked out four pieces for me to submit for the scholastic art and writing competition. After waiting for a few months I got the results back, and I had won two honorable mentions and one silver key. I felt incredibly accomplished that I had been recognized by such a prestigious competition. I was proud of myself, and Mrs Robbins was very proud of me as well. I took AP Art and Design during my senior year of high school. I created a portfolio of my favorite women in history, and I was stressed out beyond belief. Half of the pieces I made were not strong enough for Mrs Robbins, and I felt myself falling behind. I continued to create work, and some of my pieces were good, but others did not meet the standard, but no matter how frustrated I was, I never blamed Mrs Robbins, because I trusted her. By the end of the year I had created 34 pieces, and 15 of them were to be selected for my final portfolio. As Mrs. Robbins reviewed everything with me, I came across several beautiful pieces that I never would have created if Mrs. Robbins hadn’t pushed me so hard. Once we had compiled all 15 pieces, we submitted them, and as we got closer to end of the year, I couldn’t help the amount of gratitude that I felt toward Mrs Robbins. We got off to a rocky start, but by the time I graduated she was my favorite teacher, because she had faith in me even in moments where it was probably very hard to. I got a 4 on my AP portfolio, and I got an additional gold key and honorable mention from scholastic art and writing. I will forever credit her.

I am going to major in photography at St Edward's University, and to some people, photography might not seem like a very empowering field like medicine and law are, but I completely disagree. Just before I began to find my artistic voice, I was a soccer player, and I was a very outstanding player at that. I had been involved in the sport since I started walking, and I even had dreams of becoming a professional soccer player, but I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was one of the only girls in my class who played soccer, but most of the guys I knew took it seriously and were naturally good. I wanted to be better than them so badly, and I practiced so I could show them that they weren't better than me, even though none of them made that claim in the first place. All I cared about was being the best in a male-dominated field because I grew up in a male-dominated world. After I turned 14, I realized that I never really enjoyed soccer the way that the boys did. They were passionate about the sport, while I was passionate about being better than them. I then made the decision to walk away, and at the time it felt like I was betraying women as a whole, but later I figured out that I would have been betraying them if I had become something that I wasn't truly meant to become, as I had always enjoyed my art classes more than I did soccer practice. The gender disparity I have experienced has always come from myself. I spent every waking hour exhausting myself trying to prove how much better I am than men, and then when I came in second, I felt like a failure, because who am I as a woman if I don't give all of my mind to men who are better than me at a few things? That is the kind of mindset that I have seen in a lot of women and girls who have been surrounded by men all their lives or who work in male-dominated fields. During my senior year of high school, I needed an idea for a portfolio. It couldn't just consist of random pieces; all the photos had to answer a question, but I couldn't decide what that question was until I remembered how I felt leaving soccer. I decided that my sustained investigation would be "How can I turn my favorite female historical figures into art?" I gathered information about different women throughout history, whether they were queens, saints, activists, athletes, writers, scientists, or mothers. I wanted these women to be examples to all girls who went through or are currently going through what I did when I stopped playing soccer. I wanted my message to be that we as women do not have to be more successful than some random men in our lives to be successful. I as a female artist, am just as successful as a male soccer player, and if I stuck to what I wasn't meant to do, I would have been less successful than all of the men who were meant to do it. I want to make a lasting impact on women and the entire world with my career, so this is a portfolio that I will be adding pieces to until the day I die, because as long as the world does not run out of women, I will not run out of ideas.

I am a photographer and an artist and have been for a few years. Since I discovered my passion for this creative field, I have tried to find new ways to make something that will leave a lasting mark, and about a year ago I had an idea. Just before I began to find my artistic voice, I was a soccer player, and I was a very outstanding player at that. I had been involved in the sport since I started walking, and I even had dreams of becoming a professional soccer player, even though I wanted to achieve that dream so badly, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was one of the only girls in my class who played soccer, but most of the guys I knew took it seriously and were naturally good. I wanted to be better than them so badly, and I practiced so I could show them that they weren't better than me, even though none of them made that claim in the first place. All I cared about was being the best in a male-dominated field because I grew up in a male-dominated world, even though I would always look forward to my art classes more than I did soccer practice. After I turned 14, I realized that I never really enjoyed soccer the way that the boys did. They were passionate about the sport, while I was passionate about being better than them. I then made the decision to walk away, and at the time it felt like I was betraying women as a whole, but later I figured out that I would have been betraying them if I had become something that I wasn't truly meant to become because I always knew that I was an artist. Fast forward to my senior year of high school... I had made peace with my true calling, and I needed an idea for a portfolio. It couldn't just consist of random pieces; all the photos had to answer a question, but I couldn't decide what that question was until I remembered how I felt leaving soccer and that is when I knew that I could make an impact with my art. I decided that my sustained investigation would be "How can I turn my favorite female historical figures into art?" I gathered information about different women throughout history, whether they were queens, saints, activists, athletes, writers, scientists, or mothers. I wanted these women to be examples to all girls who went through or are currently going through what I did. I wanted my message to be that we as women do not have to be more successful than men to be successful. This is a portfolio that I will be adding pieces to until the day I die, because as long as the world does not run out of women, I will not run out of ideas.

I was never super interested in reading until I found BookTok. The creators posting about their favorite books inspired me to start diving into them more. My all time favorite book that I found through BookTok is “This is Our Story,” a perfect starter to my ideal bookshelf. It is a book about a girl and her relationship with a group of boys who went hunting one morning, but one of them was found shot dead by his own friend, but no one knew who did it. The book was a beautiful combination of mystery and romance without there being any smut, and because of that, I believe it has impacted the community in a very positive way. Booktok has a reputation for being smutty and pornographic, which is disappointingly true, but this book redeems it, and even though it is not as well known, it is still perfect. Another one of my favorites that I would add to the shelf is “Dead and Buried,” a book about a girl who fell down the stairs in her own home, but it started to get around that she was pushed, turning the book into a murder mystery. Like “Dead and Buried” there is romance, but no smut, which is why it also helps to redeem BookTok. The fact that it is also a murder mystery is great because it gives the community diversity other than fantasy and romance. “The Hate U Give” is also an incredible book. I don’t typically enjoy reading books that aren’t mystery but this is filled with emotion and drama, and it tells a story about real world issues, which is something that not a lot of authors have the guts to write about. Although this did not become popular because of BookTok, I heard about it through BookTok. It is about a black girl who watched her friend get shot and killed by a police officer, and how it impacted her community and her relationships, as well as the idea of social justice. “The Hate U Give” is the perfect addition to the bookshelf, and the perfect addition to the diversity and social justice aspect of BookTok. I read part of “The Outsiders” in 7th grade for a book report, but I thought it was boring. Four years later I saw a creator on BookTok recommend it, and I thought I would give it another try, and I am so glad I did. I read it in the span of two hours because I could not put it down. This book impacts the BookTok community in an amazing way because it’s not another cliche book about a female character finding love. It is about a group of boys united in their troubles, which is not something you always see in a book.

When playing Minecraft, I absolutely love to build. I have built igloos, cottages, modern houses, libraries, skyscrapers, farms, and a giant town hall building for a realm with my friends, and I did it all on survival. I love building because I am an artistic and creative person. On Minecraft, there are no rules, so I can just build whatever I want whenever I want. After I finish building, there is a certain satisfaction seeing my final piece, and that satisfaction grows every time I complete new builds for my little towns. When I log on to the game I begin to look at the blocks around me and think about how I can build with them. Over the past few years I have developed several new techniques and blue prints. One of my houses had waterfalls instead of windows, another one was a giant cave in a mountain, one was underwater, and another one was a giant skyscraper. Building is one of my favorite hobbies. During my free time, I’ll turn on modern family or get my AirPods to listen to music, and while I’m doing that I’ll log on to Minecraft and I’ll go where my mind takes me.

"Rewind" is by far my favorite song on Charli's brat album. I believe that it perfectly captures what nostalgia feels like. Sometimes I'll be in my car or alone in my room and I'll think of songs I used to listen to and movies that I used to watch during Christmas in 2019 or during fall in 2021. Whenever I play these songs it takes me back or "rewinds" to a much simpler time, and it makes me feel like I'm at home. The song "Rewind" is also very relatable as a girl. Charli demonstrates the effect of insecurities, and how common it is to wish that we could go back to a time where we weren't worried about what we're eating or counting calories. There is a certain innocence that we lose as we get older, and whenever I think about how life was like when I was just a little girl, I am sometimes able to travel back to that period for just a little bit whenever I smell or hear something from my childhood. Whenever I do that, I am able to get that innocence back for a brief period of time, and I absolutely believe that was one of the messages of this song.

My all time favorite game on Nintendo is Mario Kart. Before I got my first Nintendo switch, I would play the old version of Mario Kart with my family. One night, my little siblings were asleep, so my brother, my parents, and I all decided to play a game. I wanted to play Sorry, but my mom had another idea. She got out an old video game console and put Mario Kart in it. I complained at first because I didn't like video games that much at the time. We only had two controllers, so we decided that it would be girls vs boys, because for some reason that's how we always did things. That game was a turning point for me. I was so skilled at it that I couldn't believe it. My mom and I beat my brother and my dad in all four rounds and it was incredible. Looking back, my mom very obviously did most of the work, because she was the one holding my fingers down on the buttons, but I will never forget the pride that I felt that night. Since then, every single time we had a family game night, I always suggested Mario Kart, and when my brother and I got a Nintendo switch for Christmas, we played on it all the time. I still play to this day.

I would choose Eleven because her powers are completely essential if we want a chance at defeating the supernatural threat. She is the most valuable player of the group and while she is using her powers it is everyone else’s job to protect her while she is using all of that energy. Another person I would choose is Max, because she and Eleven are best friends and she would absolutely protect her at all costs. She is fearless, and even though Eleven is powerful, she is obviously scared whenever she fights. That is why Max is the perfect addition to the group The final person that I would choose is Joyce. Joyce is a mother, and she went through so much in season one with Will, and she would do everything to make sure that Eleven and Max would survive to come back home to their mothers. Eleven, Max, and Joyce would all be amazing against a supernatural threat. With Eleven’s powers, Max’s fearlessness, and Joyce’s maternal instinct, they can all protect each other. They all carry a sort of strength that most of the male characters in Stranger Things just do not carry, and although Nancy is very strong, she loses to Joyce.

“I don’t get angry when I’m pissed, I’m the eternal optimist” is a lyric from “all-american bitch by Olivia Rodrigo. It resonates with me so much because for so many of my teenage years I have always been held to a very high standard as the oldest daughter in my family. I had so much pent up anger and emotions but was never allowed to express it because I could not let my siblings who look up to me see me like that. It became very hard to not completely blow up because the more pent up anger I had, the harder it got to hide it. It got to the point where it affected my relationships with other people because of how irritable I was. Whenever I got like that I had to calm myself down and I always needed to look at the positive sides of things, hence the lyric “I’m the eternal optimist.” Not only did I feel this responsibility as a big sister, but I felt it as a woman. Throughout high school I noticed that the guys in my class could throw fits and be rude with no consequences, and I could never express that part of myself because then people would look at me as a bitch. I also found myself giving them the benefit of the doubt more often than I should have, when I was not given that luxury at all. I told myself “Oh they’re probably just having a bad day” or “Maybe they’re going through something.” I found myself getting tested many times, and I realized that I needed to find an outlet for all of this without being judged. I went to my school counselor and she just let me scream into a pillow in her office. I would visit her frequently and I could talk to her about all of my pent up emotions, and I no longer felt so closed off. Being around people soon became much more pleasant, and being optimistic became so much easier. For the longest time I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders because I was just always pissed, and I could never get angry. I always had to be optimistic and understanding to the point where I was completely and utterly exhausted, and that is something that I am sure a perfect all American bitch like Olivia Rodrigo could relate to.

“Bad Blood” would be on the soundtrack because this year has been very rough for my friendships. I experienced a betrayal from one of my friends and the others didn’t have my back like they had his. A lot of drama circled this and now whenever I listen to “Bad Blood” I think of the bad blood I have with the people that I have known for years and who I thought were my friends. The lyrics “Don’t think it’s in the past, these battle wounds they last and they last” resonated with me because after my friends admitted to everything they did, they expected me to forgive them and to ignore the wounds that they gave me. This song represents the anger that I felt in the whole situation, and it is still so meaningful to me even though it is an expression of anger. “Now That We Don’t Talk” is also in the soundtrack because after falling out with my friends, there were so many behaviors and beliefs that they exhibited, and I had to pretend that I was okay with them. It was so refreshing to finally tell someone how problematic they were after we fell out and I could finally process how bad everything truly was, and how terribly they treated me and my best friend. When Swift said “I don’t have to pretend I like acid rock…” I was singing along but instead saying “I don’t have to pretend I like being bullied every day…”. “I Wish You Would” would be a very important addition as well. After I went through all of my friendship breakups I began to think about what I wished they all did differently, and what I would have done differently as well. It was very hard for me to completely let go and I found myself missing the fake versions of my friends that I made up in my mind. These were the versions of them that apologized, and that had my back. I wish they would. “Clean” would be on the soundtrack as well because although this has been a rough year, I did not let that stop me from relapsing. I have struggled with addiction and every time I reach a milestone I play this song as a reminder that it gets easier and that I am not alone in this. I am now 18 months clean and I am forever grateful for this song.

When I was in 7th grade, I listened to “Why” for the first time and I immediately fell in love with Sabrina Carpenter. I loved her music so much that I even watched Girl Meets World after listening to her Eyes Wide Open album for the first time. As I explored her music I began to listen to “Thumbs”, “Shadows”, “Why”, “Seamless”, and “Mona Lisa” on repeat. After 2019 I was disappointed that she didn’t release more albums, and when controversy circled her and Olivia Rodrigo I started to feel embarrassed that I was a fan of hers, and I started to hide even more when she released “Skin,” but soon after she released “because I liked a boy” in her new album and I was no longer embarrassed. After she released some more albums, she became more popular, and I loved it. I have been a fan of hers since 2017 and it gave me so much hope when other people started to like her too. Her music got me through a lot of tough times in middle school, and it wasn’t the lyrics or the deep meanings but it was the vibes and the character. I still listen to a lot of her old music and it brings back so many memories. I have always loved Sabrina Carpenter and I forever will.

When I first heard the lyrics to “Pink Pony Club” I immediately started to tear up at the emotion in Roan’s voice. It really touched me and I related to it, not because I am a stripper at a club disappointing my family, but because I want to give myself the freedom that the woman in the song gives herself, and when Chappell sings “God, what have you done!” depicting a mother seeing her daughter dancing on the stage, it resonated with me because that is how I feel every single time I do something that my Christian relatives wouldn’t exactly approve of, and that I’m not even sure I approve of myself, so that lyric was definitely my favorite and it’s the one that made me cry when I listened to the song. As Chappell continues her career, I will listen to all of her songs and I will go to her concerts. As a bi girl from the South she is one of my favorite artists and her music resonates with me very deeply. Girl in Red used to be my favorite queer artist, but there is a drug in Roan’s music. It is lively and poetic in a way that songs by other artists are not.

I am cheering for Crystal Dunn. I have loved watching her play soccer and I am very excited to see her in the Olympics this year. I have played soccer since I was 5 years old, and out of all the positions I have played I have loved being a forward, which is Dunn’s position in the Olympics, despite being a defender for most of her career. I was so excited to see that she would be playing my position. The last time she was in a goal scoring position was around 10 years ago. I was 9 years old and I was watching the USWNT play against Haiti, and I witnessed Dunn score her first goal. That was the moment that I knew she was going to be one of my favorite players. Crystal Dunn, Alex Morgan, Abby Wambach, and Hope Solo are all a very important part of my childhood. They are all my heroes, but Dunn is the only one on the roster for the Olympics. I will be watching every game, and I will be watching Dunn. I cannot wait to see how she will play as a forward and a striker, and I look forward to seeing her score some goals, something she can’t really do as a defender.

Hearts August April Spain Timeless Magical Cursed May England Mystic Winter Lover Mean Summer Enchanted Paranormal Queen of: Hearts, Spain, England, Mean Songs by Taylor Swift: August, Timeless, Lover, Enchanted Girls names related to the yearly calendar: April, May, Winter, Summer Otherworldly: Magical, Cursed, Mystic, Paranormal I have created games like these before, and I always just think of a random thing, person, or place for the first word. I immediately thought of my AP Art portfolio about women in history, and that is where I got the idea for the “Queen of” category. The Queen of Hearts is a character in Alice in Wonderland. The Queens of Spain and England are/were rulers of their countries. “Queen of Mean” is a song in the popular movie Descendants 3. I knew that the word “Mean” would be confusing, because it is also a Taylor Swift song, which is another category. August, Timeless, Lover, and Enchanted are all songs by Taylor Swift. I knew that August would be confusing because April and May are in another category, and Enchanted would be confusing because it is synonymous with magical, cursed, mystic, and paranormal (all words in a separate category). I came up with this idea when I thought of the word “Mean” for the “Queen of” category. April, May, Winter, and Summer are all girls names related to the yearly calendar. I knew that it would confuse people since “August” is also on the list and it is a month like April and May are. I came up with this idea when I thought of “August” for the Taylor Swift category. The last category is words that are synonymous with “otherworldly.” Those words are Magical, Cursed, Mystic, and Paranormal. I came up with this category after thinking of “Enchanted” which is a word that belongs to the Taylor Swift category.

I have been an artist and a photographer for about four years, and as I was learning and growing I started to develop some ideas for a portfolio. I didn’t want to have one just for a college application or a job; I wanted it for myself, so I could have something that reflects my mind in ways that a mirror can’t. When I first started to pursue the arts, I was in the middle of giving up a dream of mine, which was to play professional soccer. I had always felt more called to male dominated fields, because I felt as though I had to prove myself to a male dominated world. That is why it was difficult for me to let go of something I was once very passionate about, but I had grown out of it and there was nothing I could do but walk away on good terms with the sport. As I thought about this pivotal moment in my life, I considered my reasons behind why I was so disappointed in myself for leaving. I felt like I was failing women all across the world because I gave up on something that the boys in my class would never have given up on, but I actually would have been failing them if I had forced myself do to something with my future that I wasn’t called to do. I soon found what I wanted in a portfolio. I wanted to showcase all different women and their stories, their accomplishments, their martyrdoms, and their impacts on the world. I researched women all throughout history and considered all of the different types of lives they led, whether they were queens who ruled their countries, mothers who ruled their homes, writers, scientists or saints. This is a portfolio that I have started to create, and that I will continue to create until I die. I want my art to be a message to all girls and women, that they don’t owe anyone their lives or careers, and that if they are called to work in STEM, they can do that, or if they want to pursue the arts, then they can do that as well. Maybe they want to be athletes, and if they want to then they absolutely can. Our lives as women aren’t about being more successful than men. They are about being successful.

I struggled with creativity in middle school, meaning that I knew I was creative but didn’t want to be just another person taking art as an elective because that was the only option. I was a very athletic girl and part of me felt like if I gave up my dream of playing professional soccer instead of having a career in the arts, I would be failing myself and failing women as a whole. When the pandemic hit I began to experiment with different art styles and even practiced art therapy to help me get through that tough time in my life, and the more I practiced art, the less I practiced soccer. I began taking photography as an elective in high school, shortly after I had decided to not move forward with a career in soccer. I parted on good terms with the sport, I had just outgrown it, and I realized that skills are skills, and women in the arts are no less skilled than women in sports, or women in STEM. I would not be failing the women all across the world by becoming an artist, I would be failing them by not doing something I was truly passionate about. In light of this, I wanted to create a portfolio representing many different women, varying in ethnicity, age, accomplishments, and stories. I immediately thought of some remarkable women in history, and I decided that for my AP Art portfolio, I would celebrate these people and their accomplishments that no one learned about. Not only did I want to remind myself that I don’t have to compromise myself to prove a point, but I wanted to remind every single person who has seen my work that as well. It is important to me that I move forward with this portfolio. I plan to create even more portfolios to add to my work, further highlighting the stories of as many female historical figures as possible. Each piece that I have created, and will create in the future has a specific story, that will then cater to a much bigger moral. It is a work that I wish to continue for the rest of my life, because as long as the world doesn’t run out of women, I will not run out of ideas. Because of all of the technological advancements that have been created in the recent years, it will be easy to create art, but it will be harder for me to keep my sense of imagination. Despite that, I will use the technology to the best of my ability and I will do so with integrity. I plan to use these new tools for research, not only on history but on photography. I will use it to sharpen my skills and explore new ways to create. My ideas are my own, and I will not compromise them by using artificial intelligence in the wrong way, but facts are facts, and there are so many ways that I can learn without cheating.