Growing up was a journey within itself, to becoming who I am today. My life growing up, I would have to say, doesn’t necessarily fit in the category of the norm. But I have realized that though most have not and could not relate to the life I have lived, there is some people out there still searching, still looking for someone that can help them get past the darkness that haunt them. There are people out there living with non-family and family secrets, that to this day they have not spoken of. As I strive to becoming a counselor, those are the people that I wish to reach. The people that are struggling in life with secrets that need to be let out, so that they can move forward in their life without feelings of embarrassment, grief, sadness, depression, guilt, shame, hurt, and pain that has plagued them for so many years from the trauma that has left them broken and lost.
The dynamics that I was born in was the tail end of my parents’ marriage. I am the second to the youngest of nine children. The first five oldest children were for the most part already moved out, by the time I came around. Neither one of my parents finished college or any of my siblings. My parents separated when I was seven years old and their divorce finalized when my two brothers and I were dropped off in the middle of the night in a parking lot in Stockton, California by my dad. He decided that he did not want the responsibility to take care of us, so he abandoned us. My mother was an alcoholic, who drank from the time she woke up, till the time she went to bed. She also took prescription medications to help with the pain that she felt, due to a car accident that left her disabled.
When I went to live with my mother full-time, my mother had remarried an inmate who was charged with murder. So, I learned a lot about the prison system as a child, through family visits. I never felt comfortable as a child because I never knew who I could trust. When I was in the 7th grade, my mother decided that she needed more help at home, so she took me out of school and decided to homeschool me. I did not graduate high school. I dropped out of the 10th grade. When I was 17 years old, my mother decided to put me in college, which is where I discovered that I could be more then where I came from.
I started college when I was 17 years old at the local community college in Stockton, California in 1998 and I graduated with my Associates Degree on May of 2000 with honors. During that time, my mother was struggling with her health, but wasn’t completely sure what was happening with her. When I was 23 years old my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. I came back home to take care of my mother and help her the best I could. As I was taking care of my mother, I was trying to finish my education in Child Development. My father died of kidney failure suddenly and my mother died almost a year later of lymphoma and leukemia. Through the time of taking care of my other I learned resilient, determination, compassion, forgiveness, and true meaning of love. Taking care of my mother as she slowing passed away was a truly hard experience to go through, but I do not regret it. I believe that it has made me who I am today.
As of today, I am a mother of three wonderful children, that I am homeschooling, and I have been married for the past 15 years. I feel like I am at a point in time in my life where I would like to finish my schooling. Prior to marriage, I worked as a preschool teacher in California and was in the process of finishing my B.A. degree in Child Development. But then, I got married and we started having children. So, my focus shifted towards raising my children.
During our marriage, I have owned my own companies, volunteered, and worked for different women shelters. Through my life, I have seen things that have truly resonated with me and I would like to be a positive motivation for individuals who have gone through things that are really tough to go through on their own. I have a passion to help people see the world in a different light. Giving individuals tools to manage and take control of a life that they lost, would be something that I could be proud of.
In turn, I am motivated to finish my degree in trauma counseling. I still love to teach so I think the combination with a Bachelor in Educational Studies and then my Masters in Trauma Counseling is a great fit for my educational goals. After my Masters in Trauma Counseling, I would like to pursue my Doctor of Philosophy in Counseling Education and Supervision.
I believe that I would be a great candidate to be considered for this scholarship because I am motivated, determined, and who is focused on accomplishing my goals. I also have three children who are watching me and I want my children to not only be proud of who their mother is, but what I am planning to accomplish. When my children can see where I have come from and what I chose to do with my life, I want them to be inspired and strive to aim higher in their own lives. Thank you for your time.