What is my duty? Millennials and Gen Z have lived through many harsh times from 9/11 to COVID-19, we have seen threats to our financial security, physical health, and our nation's safety. While we have made it through these rough times the struggles are not over; there is more road ahead. So as Millenials and Gen Z become more integrated into the work and political aspect of society what are the many challenges that need to be addressed? While I do agree with the fact that older generations have taken action and implemented programs that my generation now has to fix, I also want to highlight the many benefits that older generations lived by that seem to be lost in today’s youth. One such topic is the idea to “live by your means”, people in Gen Z especially tend to always be seeking more than what they really need. Fast Fashion is a relatively new phenomenon that drives much of the consumer spending done by younger generations. As social media has become more prevalent in our day-to-day lives it has only further driven the consumerist desire to stay on par with the latest fashion and style trends. Websites like Shein and Temu have made it exceptionally easy to get trendy clothes and accessories at an affordable price, but what are the ramifications? Fast fashion has a huge negative environmental impact; from the sheer manpower it takes to produce the quantities desired at the start of a trend, to the billions of pounds in merchandise that goes straight to landfills at the end of a trend; the cycle of fast fashion takes its toll to say the least. On the financial side of the spectrum, a majority of these products are made in foreign countries, which is why they are so cheap; since sites like Shien and Temu have units ranging from 20 cents to $20, it’s unlikely that one purchase will exceed $300, so the imported goods are not taxed with duty fees, meaning that the U.S is losing millions in order to bring in products that get $0 tax or revenue for the government. I bring this to the reader's attention to highlight the fact that the U.S is currently facing high inflation rates; imports, like those from Shien and Temu are a major contributor to this. A solution to the plague of modern day fast fashion is to buy local and support small businesses. Buying overseas leads to companies in the U.S having to make cuts and even shutting down all together. This is just one example of a problem my generation is tasked with solving, but the list goes on. Another struggle we are faced with is finding a solution for our country's financial troubles; the 3 big contributors to the current economic state are high inflation, slowed economic growth and unfair pay. Our current economic growth in the U.S is slowing due to a record number of unions on strike, what are they on strike for…livable wages! A common misconception is that an increase in pay will increase inflation, which isn’t true. Wage changes can be a factor of inflation, but it’s not the sole cause. So a short and sweet solution would be to increase workers compensation which would end many of the strikes, such as UAW and Hollywood, thus sparking up economic growth. This growth would stimulate more jobs in multiple industries causing unemployment and inflation rates to go down. I realize the economy is more complicated than a paragraph solution but change cannot happen without a solid idea to take root in. Though there are many fires “both metaphorically and literally” that need putting out in our world, I don't believe the idea that baby boomers and Gen X “created this mess”. I feel that each generation is faced with their own struggles and deals with them the best they can. From wars to desegregation baby boomers had to overcome numerous challenges and though the times and problems are different one thing remains the same, a new generation must come forth to meet the adversities of the world. So as a member of this new generation I vow to take a stand against the hardships that come my way and to always do what’s best not only for myself, but for my country! That is my duty

My mother was a kind and doting figure in the public eye, but at home, I was always walking on eggshells. Opening the door to our house felt like a game of Russian Rulet, but in my version, there are 5 bullets instead of 1. A drunken stupor, in a blind fit of rage, sobbing relentlessly, stressed from her day, or simply a lifeless husk on the couch. Occasionally I’d get the empty chamber. One way she released her pent-up emotions was by tearing me down emotionally and physically. Constantly battling my own struggle with depression, chronic anxiety pains, and suicidal thoughts, I had no energy left to combat my mother and her alcoholic tendencies: I took whatever she threw my way. Throughout high school, I continued to take her abuse and criticism which made my depression and insecurities worse. At the height of my mental health struggle, I would hide out in my room not even leaving to eat. I felt so worthless and unloved that I didn't see the point in going on with my life. This downward spiral continued into my junior year until I started going to therapy. Mary, my therapist, was like the shepard I didn’t know I needed; I felt lost beyond the point of return until she guided me through the years of pain and anguish to a place of self-love and acceptance. I began to see myself as a person who is worthy of love, and I began to understand the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. After much deliberation and help from Mary, I decided to move out of my mother's house; it was the most liberating and gut-wrenching thing I have ever done. It’s been over a year since the event transpired, and so much has changed, but not just for me. My mom was angry with me for months, refusing to speak to me and even moving cities. I thought we were never going to speak again but after almost a year we reconnected and she told me all the things she's done to turn her life around: stopped drinking, joined a 12-step program, started going to therapy, and got medicated for her depression. In a tranquil state I calmly told her that I had never been more proud, she cried in a way I’d never seen before. They weren't tears of sorrow, anger or joy, they were tears of relief, relief that I saw who she had become and embraced her, despite everything that had happened. My mother and I have battled through depression and anxiety for years, and still do. We didn't love ourselves so we had no love left for each other. It was not an easy journey by any means but I believe that everyone on this earth has a lesson to give; the relationship with my mom has taught me how to love myself, even when no one else will, and that forgiveness is the most powerful gift one can give. I don't know what the next chapter of my life has in store but what I can say for certain is that as long as I accept myself and continue to see the world through empathetic eyes, everything will be ok in the end.

To serve, to protect and above all to put family first; these were the ideals demonstrated by my late great-grandfather John Gorman (grandpa Johnny), who served in WWII. My great-grandfather was an inspiration to all and taught me that serving my community is the greatest gift I can give. I seek to keep his memory alive by imbuing the values he cherished most into my daily life. Physical health was a cornerstone for my great-grandpa; between golf and riding his bike, he was always moving. Watching my 90-year-old grandpa swing a club like it was a Pixy Stick pushed me to stay fit. I found solace in running and devoted myself to the sport for 10 years. In my junior and senior years of high school, I became the captain of my cross-country team. My mantra was to lead by example: be the first one to arrive and last to leave, never skimp on the warm-up or cool down, and always push my teammates toward success. As a war vet, Grandpa Jonny always had all kinds of stories to recount, but my favorite story of his wasn't about the war. When America was still a segregated nation my grandpa coached a racially inclusive team softball team, one of the only ones at the time. He was an advocate for the black women on his team and would speak out against establishments that chose to belittle the women just because of their skin color. In my own right, I followed in his footsteps of being a champion for change by becoming the president of my high school's chapter's American Sign Language Honors Society. I partnered with my school and the city to create projects intent on educating the public about the Deaf community. In doing so I have not only been able to strengthen my knowledge of the Deaf community, I have helped others broaden their perspective about the Deaf and who they are. Just as my grandpa Johnny was determined to serve his country in a time of need, I keep my eyes open to any opportunity where I can help others. Ever heard of Hippotherapy: the use of horseback riding as a rehabilitation treatment? Well I hadn't until just a few months ago when a local PT from a l hippo clinic reached out for help I agreed without a second thought. It's been 3 months and I’ve helped the non-profit raise over $17,000 through media marketing; I’m also a regular volunteer at the clinic, working with patients to strengthen their hip strength and assist neurodivergent riders in occupational therapy methods. The ability to give back brings me more joy than words can express, that’s why I am pursuing a physical therapy degree. The human body is an amazing instrument, and as a physical therapist, I will have the knowledge and skill set needed to help people heal and maintain their instruments. As an athlete, I have personal experience with injury and rehab and the physical therapist I worked with not only aided in my physical recovery but also elevated my emotional state. This is the type of growth I want to inspire in the people I work with, the healing of both mind and body! As I continue my personal and academic pursuits I will bear in mind the lessons my great-grandfather taught me: have the strength to stand up for what you believe in, the kindness to give back to others, and compassion to see the beauty in all walks of life–this is what leadership means to me.

Distant calls of an Eastern bluebird rouse me from slumber; I open my eyes to the sight of hazed sun rays basking the walls of my room, the scent of morning dew faintly lingers as the forest floor begins to stir. I open the door of my second-story balcony and marvel at the spectacle of the Smoky Mountains. This is my dream house. Ever since I was a kid, I loved exploring nature; collecting different flora and examining them under a microscope, climbing trees, or going on nature hikes– nature has always been a pivotal part of who I am. That Is why I would have my house in the Smoky Mountains. Every day would be a new opportunity to connect with Mother Nature. After taking in the sights and smells of the morning I would go downstairs to the kitchen and boil water for morning tea; I would then proceed to the rooftop greenhouse to pick the produce I would eat for the day. Because this is a dream house, the garden can grow any plant (regardless of the conditions it would normally require to grow). Other rooms my dream house would consist of are a room filled floor to ceiling with books, an exercise studio with space and equipment to practice my aerial arts, dance, and train calisthenics, and lastly, a meditation space to practice my yoga and meditation. Each of these rooms has a functional purpose: to grow/maintain my mind, body, and spirit, which is an intention I strive to live by every day. Outside of indoor activities, each day would be a new adventure outdoors! Go down to a river and follow the path it flows, bird watching from a distance, rock hunting, tree climbing, and simply walking are just a few of the pursuits I would take in exploring the world around me. This serene scene I’ve depicted is not only my idea of a dream house but my goal for a dream life: to be connected with my innermost self and nature–that is my dream house.

To live In accordance with my soul's need, not my heart's greed; remembering that yesterday's toil is the fuel for today's success.

As an avid reader, I enjoy a wide array of topics, which is why it took some time for me to decide what book to choose. I felt compelled to relay the existential wonders of "The Alchemist” yet the beautifully cross-cultural comparison in “The Way Of The Samurai” is something I’d love to share. But then I reread this essay's prompt–a book "everyone" would have to read: the choice was clear. “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hays. If everyone in the world had to read a book this would unequivocally be the best pick! My therapist first introduced this book to me 3 months after I left my mother, an abusive alcoholic. I thought the transition to living with my father would be easy, but those 3 months proved me wrong. My mental health was in a downward spiral, and despite all the sessions with my therapist nothing seemed to be working; I knew something had to change. That’s when I started the book. The overarching theme of “You Can Heal Your Life” is self-love (a concept that was foreign to me). My therapist and I had talked about the subject before, but I never sat down and tried to understand what that meant and how it applied to my life: the book changed that. Each chapter discusses a common struggle people face in the real world and connects it back to a lack of confidence and self-love. She expressed that, in life, we don't need all the answers, we just have to trust the process and know that in the end, everything will be okay. At first, I was very skeptical of these ideas; putting faith in beliefs that weren’t concrete, and telling myself that I unconditionally loved who I was and what I’d been through, it felt wrong. But I did it nonetheless. For a while I felt as if I was drowning, fighting for each breath; with this book, I learned to relax and stop fighting the water, floating in a state of bliss. That's why I'd make everyone in the world read this book: for those who are going through a tough time, are out of touch with themselves, or just want to grow as a person! Louise Hay gives readers the tools to rebuild their self-image and see the beauty in every moment life has to offer.

My mother was a kind and doting figure in the public eye, but at home, I was always walking on eggshells. In my teenage years, as her state became worse, I learned to shut off my emotions and was able to coexist with her inconsistent behaviors. That is until my 9th-grade year. I had asked my mom if I could get some new shoes for cross country and she replied in a snide way “well why don't you ask your dad, it's not like he pays for anything”, which was not an accurate statement. So I called my dad and verbatim said what she told me: he was not happy. He confronted my mother about the comment and she lied. Now on the outside this might seem a bit wrong of her but in the end not that big a deal, but to me, it was a big deal. This was the woman who had scolded me, grounded me, and hit me over even the smallest of white lies, telling me that lying was the sin of all sins; and there she was, lying. When she got off the phone she was enraged! Yelling “Why did you lie, why did you lie!” Confused and hurt, I listened in shock as she berated me. She proceeded to yell and cuss me out alongside my stepdad as they both demanded I admit that I lied, but I refused because that would be a lie. 2 hours later I sat with a tear-streaked face as I chopply inhaled snot in between exasperated breaths. My mother was holding her phone up to my face with my dad on the other end. “Apologize” she kept yelling. With no fight left in me, my spirit broke and I gave in to her request. I barely slept a wink that night, my throat was knotted with all the words I wanted to say but couldn't and my head throbbed as I tried to wrap my mind around what had transpired. It was the Overture of my descent into a gaping black hole. Her fear of my dad is greater than her love for me. This is the thought that consumed me every day. I started to isolate myself by staying in my room all day; I couldn't stand to be near her. I would only come down to bring food up to my room, she picked up on this and said I couldn't eat in my room anymore. So I stopped eating. I stopped eating, stopped talking, stopped caring. As I let go of these thoughts and needs, a new one crept into my mind: let go. Let go. It got louder and more frequent with each passing day. I started to think about the various ways I could let go; a leap of faith, a sharp and quick thrust, or maybe a string on a tree. One day I needed to talk to a counselor about a scheduling matter, and as I started talking with him I felt relaxed and in this easied state I told him my thoughts about letting go. At the time I was crying for him to not call my parents, but now that I look back it’s the best decision I ever made. I started going to therapy and worked up the courage to move in with my dad full-time. Since I made this change I have been able to shift my mindset from reasons why should let go to the beauty life has to offer.

Lightheaded, clicking knees, and butterflies in my stomach, all things I normally feel in high places; yet as I stood on the 30-foot platform my whole body was teeming with excitement. I leaned forward on the platform and grabbed hold of the bar, it fell naturally in my grasp. My weight was pressed forward as the instructor held tightly to the harness around my waist: patiently awaiting his command. On the ready, my legs loaded like a spring, my eyes became laser-focused, and my breath mimicked the calm back and forth of a low tide. When I was given the single my legs ascended allowing my body to lift and be momentarily suspended before gravity pulled me down and I went flying through the air. I was like a baby humpback whale, when they’re born they don't know they can swim, they just do; I didn’t know how to fly on a trapeze rig, but I did it, and I never wanted to come down! This is my passion, I want to become a contemporary circus artist; traveling the world, and bringing joy and laughter to people from all walks of life! I want to inspire others to go out and achieve their wildest dreams while I pursue mine! In elementary/middle school performing played a big role in my extracurricular life; whether it was theater camp or show choir I loved being up on stage. As high school started I began to lose touch with the performance side of myself. I became bogged down with my GPA, cross country/track (which are year-round sports), and maintaining healthy friendships. Now, 4 years later the flame of performing is reignited in my soul and I never want it to go out! So to achieve this goal I will be attending the University of North Texas to pursue the academic aspect of my career by getting a degree in Kinesiology with a specialization in biomechanics. This will not only help my self-awareness and knowledge as a circus artist and a circus/ gymnastics instructor. I have been teaching gymnastics since 2021 and want to continue growing my skills as a coach; my favorite part of the job is the privilege I have to make a positive influence in a young athlete's life! There is no greater feeling than watching my students progress through techniques! While attending college I will work towards the physical venture by training at my current circus school, getting a minor in dance at UNT( a school with a nationally recognized dance program), and training in gymnastics! I started training in gymnastics back in 2022 and just recently began to incorporate circus-specific classes! My multifaceted dream is a lot to look at, even for me, but a euphemism that keeps me grounded is: “How do you eat an elephant” “One bite at a time”. I will continue to coach others, hone my performance skills, and grow my knowledge and understanding of the human body. Life is short—and that's the beauty of it; so with my finite time on this planet, I intend to make every moment count!

A procession of 45 adults and 3 large moving U-hauls filled with anything a kid could dream up, and led by none other than Santa Clause. This was my last volunteering event of the semester, my family was thrilled that I was helping my community for the holiday season—I didn’t share their enthusiasm. I felt cold, and tired, and wanted nothing more than to go home and enjoy my Christmas break. Only three hours, I kept repeating to myself. The truck I was stationed in came to a stop at the community's epicenter and as the door flew open, A mass of hands and a slew of desperation and excitement came hurling at me. Everyone in the truck began giving out Barbies, toy trucks and other goodies while simultaneously trying to stop parents from storming the truck. I was entranced by the sight of children wearing just sandals and shorts jumping with glee, over the first toy they’d ever received for Christmas. Those hours I volunteered flew by like minutes, and by the end of it something in me felt different, It was a feeling of warmth and compassion as I’d never experienced before! Volunteering had always felt like a chore, but after that December day of my 7th-grade year, I felt a new passion to help others and a desire to give back to my community. Since that initial experience I have joined many organizations to give back to my school and community and the organization that has brought me the most enjoyment and personal growth over the past few years has been the American Sign Language Honors Society. I started taking sign language during my freshman year and fell in love with the community and culture instantly! I admire how the group embodies a strong sense of collectivism, which contrasts with the individualistic culture of most Americans. This Language is more than just a means of communication, it is a connection for Deaf people from all over the world! After 4 years of learning about ASL and the Deaf community, the biggest eye-opener has been the lack of knowledge, care, and respect hearing populations tend to have towards marginalized groups, such as the Deaf. In my Junior year, I applied and became the organization's historian, in charge of documentation and helping plan events. This year I am the president of the organization; I have not only gained leadership experience but also an understanding of how best to serve the community. For me, this has meant providing my peers and community members with knowledge on evident aspects of Deaf culture, like: “can Deaf people drive?”, “do Deaf people have real jobs?”, “can Deaf people hear?” These are all questions I’ve been asked before and after being asked time and again the same questions I realized there had to be a better way to explain these questions rather than waiting for someone to come and ask me. So the way I have explained these questions and many more is through posters that the organization members have made and put around schools that explain Deaf history, figures, and historical events. We also host several outside-of-school events to help teach others signs and broaden people's knowledge about Deaf culture. In short, being a part of the ASL Honors Society has helped show me how to be an advocate and how I can help others have an open mind and kind heart towards any disabled or marginalized group. I've loved being a part of this organization and I can't wait to foster my passion for the language/culture in college and beyond!

I want to be a circus artist. When I tell people this I am met with confused looks and shaded remarks: why would you want to do that? And the answer is so simple yet it never seems to suffice. I want to be a circus artist because it’s what I love! Growing up my mom and I didn't have much. Week to week my mom had her nose to the grindstone to make sure that I was taken care of, but she never left much room for herself. Coming home late and rising before dawn took its toll; she tried her best to put on a good show for me at home but I’ve always been able to tell how my mother is truly feeling. Despite the adversities she and I faced when I was growing up, there was always one time of year when the meticulous tasks of daily life seemed to melt away; this exciting time of year was the end of summer for my theater performance. My mom would work hard to scrounge up enough money to put me through a week of the Irving Arts Center Theater Arts Camp. This camp was the catalyst for my love of performing; the day would start with working on visual mediums( writing, painting, weaving, etc) and the latter portion would be writing and rehearsing a play that would be performed at the end of the week. The plays we wrote were short, about 15-20 minutes, and even so the adrenaline rush I felt when I walked on stage was like nothing else. Each year I did a show was always a blast, but the real highlight of it all was seeing my mom's face at the end of the show. The smile she would give me was different, not like the ones where she was trying to cover up her pain and anxiety, it was genuine. That brief 15 minutes brought: life back into her eyes, laughter in her voice, and warmth to her soul. That is why I want to be a circus artist; I want to bring life and joy to the lives of others! I want to inspire people to go beyond their expectations and achieve their wildest dreams! To attain this goal I plan on going to college and pursuing an education in physical sciences (Kinesiology, biomimicry, dance, and more) while continuing my training in circus skills outside of class. I want to travel the world and perform in shows, while also teaching the art of Circus; to further this aspect of my goal, I am currently teaching gymnastics and taking different languages so I can make an impact no matter what language someone speaks. My passion is a lofty one but the most important lesson I learned from watching my mom all those years was: never to give up on what you love. She worked day in and day out to take care of what she loved, me. I intend to do the same, working hard so I can leave my mark on the world. So whether it's getting out of poverty or getting into the circus, every dream has the potential to be a reality! I’ve always lived conservatively, but I refuse to continue living that way! I’ve only got one life, so I intend to make every moment count!

For years when people would ask me the question, “What do you want to be when you’re older?” I felt like a deer in headlights; looking at a daunting unknown unsure what direction I should go in. As a kid, my answer to this question moved around as much as I did; I was too worried about fitting in at a new school to think about what I wanted to do with my life or who I wanted to be. How was I supposed to know what I wanted to do in over a decade when I didn't even know what I’d want a month from then? This was much of what I felt throughout elementary school but in middle school, the moving fever that my family had been burning with for years began to subside. Finally settling into one place and one routine I was able to start focusing more on who I wanted to be… but I couldn't figure it out in middle school either. From wanting to be a trainer, to a physical therapist, to a botanist my career aspirations were all over the place. Meanwhile, I had friends who’d known what they wanted to do for 5 years straight, this made me feel even more pressure! So at the start of high school I began to feel behind, like I should have had my whole life figured out: a path set in stone. Even so, I decided that I wouldn't force myself onto a path that didn't feel quite right; I wanted to go with the flow and see where life would take me. I continued to go through high school with this mentality, until May 2022, the end of my Junior year. My mom, grandmother and I took a trip to Las Vegas to see the acclaimed Micheal Buble. This was the main reason for the trip but we had some fun tourist attractions planned as well, one of which was seeing the world-renowned Cirque Du Solie show “O”. From the aerial artist maneuvering about an apparatus to the one-of-a-kind hydraulic stage, every moment was —breathtaking. At the time I couldn’t put it into words, but I walked out of the theater ignited by the prospects of a world I’d never known. When we got back from the hotel room, on the plane ride back, laying in my bed at home, all I could think about was the wonders I’d seen in Vegas. I researched all I could on Cirque Du Solie trying to understand what was so alluring about it; I felt like Alice in Wonderland, I fell into a new and strange world I never dreamed possible. As my research on the topic continued I began to realize that I had finally found the answer that had plagued me for years. I want to be a circus artist. To achieve this dream, I enrolled myself in a beginner tumbling class(I’m now intermediate tumbling) and one of the best quality circus rigs in south central U.S, “The Dallas Circus Center”. Once in college, I will pursue my degree in Kinesiology to gain knowledge that will help me as a performer, and (when I’m no longer physically able to perform) I can use this degree to help me as a circus coach! I know my dream is audacious but…I’ve only got one life, so I intend to make every moment count!

Growing up my parents weren't strict with house rules, however, there was one mantra that both of them expected me to live by—I am honest. If they caught me lying the consequences were swift and befitting; from manual labor to a 3-page essay on why lying is wrong my parents did not take the act of being dishonest lightly. As a kid, I would roll my eyes and cross my arms at the “overreaction about a harmless white lie”. Fast forward to the present, I am so thankful for my parents' constant discipline and guidance about being an honest person. The Iron Fist that they used is embedded in my soul and is my guiding star in the many decisions I am faced with every day. For example, when I first got my driver's license at 16 there were 3 rules I had to follow until I turned 18: 1) no more than one passenger in the car, unless they were family, 2) no Bluetooth devices could be hooked up to my car, and 3) no driving between midnight and five AM. My friends told me I was crazy for not playing music from my phone, they would say things like “It’s so easy” or “You’ll never get caught”; despite their persistence, I did not waver. Another example is sometimes after cross country practices the girl's team would want to go and get breakfast and multiple underclassmen would try to carpool in my car, I would simply tell them it was against the law and I wouldn't want them or myself to get in trouble. This was usually met with annoyance and judgment but I did not let their discontent sway my decision. That is Integrity, doing what's right in the face of adversity. Being honest with myself and others has allowed me to establish clear boundaries and stick to my values. The easy way isn't always the right way, but the more you follow the right path the easier it becomes.

“I can't do it… I can’t do it… I can’t do it.” We've all heard this before; it's that little voice that lives rent-free in the back of your mind, always trying to knock you down a peg. One day I was listening to a podcast and the keynote speaker said something that resonated with me: “When we talk negatively to ourselves we are mirroring the way our parents would talk to us as a child.” As time went on I began to realize who my inner voice truly was. My mother was a kind and doting figure in the public eye, but at home, I was always walking on eggshells. Opening the door to our house felt like a game of Russian Rulet, but in my version, there are 5 bullets instead of 1. A drunken stupor, in a blind fit of rage, sobbing relentlessly, stressed from her day, or simply a lifeless husk on her phone. Occasionally I’d get the empty chamber. One way she released her pent-up emotion was by judging everything I did or wanted to try; whether it was wanting to French, or trying to upcycle, my mother always knew how to put down my aspirations. In my teenage years, as her state worsened, I learned to shut off my emotions and was able to coexist with her inconsistent behaviors. However, it became increasingly difficult to live with my mother, and her untamed state proved insurmountable in May of 2022. I was in Vegas with my mother and grandmother. On the final night of our trip, my mother had drunk her weight in alcohol, In doing so we almost missed the show we’d flown to Vegas for. When my grandma confronted her about the negligent behavior. My mom then lashed out at her for over 2 hours, until, like a child, she wore herself out and fell asleep; I didn't sleep that night, I couldn't, but by morning I knew what I needed to do. I prepared for my plan all summer, and finally when the day came(the week school was starting). I told my mother I was going to live with my father full-time. Her reaction was exactly as I predicted, she took my car and phone, and overnight my college fund was gone… and so was she. Emotionally I was affected more than I thought I would be and I fell into a depressive state for months. My mom had slowly chipped away at what little self-worth I already had and constantly treated me like a burden—but somehow I missed her...? I buried myself in a hole of regret and hate for what I had done: the voice in my head had grown so much that my brain felt like a lump of lead with all that negative self talk slowly solidifying. It wasn't easy but after months of therapy and self-help, I started to feel a sense of freedom and confidence I didn't think possible. It’s been almost a year since the event transpired, and I've never felt more at ease. I’ve stopped listening to the little voice in the back of my head and started following my heart, wherever it takes me. This mental freedom has not only allowed me to accept who I am, but it has also led me down the avenue I wish to pursue myself. I want to be a contemporary circus artist; bringing laughter and joy to the lives of others while inspiring people to go beyond their expectations and achieve their wildest dreams—this is where my passion lies! This past year I have taken decisive action to achieve this dream; I enrolled myself in a beginner tumbling class(I’m now in intermediate), and I began training at a local circus school that helps me focus on the specific acts/skills I’m looking to pursue. I plan to further my endeavors in college by getting an education in physical sciences (Kinesiology, biomimicry, dance, and more) while continuing my training in circus skills outside of class. With the profession I have chosen there are opportunities as an athlete and coach worldwide and I want to travel and perform in shows across the globe. To further this aspect of my goal I am taking French over the summer and plan to take other languages throughout college and beyond, such as Italian, German, Russian, etc. To work on my aspiration of one day becoming a coach for a circus/gymnastics, I am currently teaching gymnastics ages 3-13, from beginner to competitive. “You can do anything you put your mind to” is the affirmation I live by now! In the past the voice that once raged in my head like a fire would have burned my ambitions creating dark, smoky clouds of self-doubt; but now that monstrous flame that used to consume every crevice of my brain has dwindled to a gentle candlelight, giving way to a calm stream that flows through my mind and body filling up my conscious with tranquility. My career aspiration is a lofty one but if this past year has taught me anything it’s that: life will always give me a reason to quit/ say no/ back down/ or give up, but by going beyond the expectations of my circumstances I can raise the bar and create new opportunities I would have never dreamed of!

A procession of 45 adults and 3 large moving U-hauls filled with anything a kid could dream up, and led by none other than Santa Clause. This was my last volunteering event of the semester, my family was thrilled that I was helping my community for the holiday season—I didn’t share their enthusiasm. I felt cold, and tired, and wanted nothing more than to go home and enjoy my Christmas break. Only three hours, I kept repeating to myself. The truck I was stationed in came to a stop at the community's epicenter and as the door flew open, A mass of hands and a slew of desperation and excitement came hurling at me. Everyone in the truck began giving out Barbies, toy trucks and other goodies while simultaneously trying to stop parents from storming the truck. I was entranced by the sight of children wearing just sandals and shorts jumping with glee, over the first toy they’d ever received for Christmas. Those hours I volunteered flew by like minutes, and by the end of it something in me felt different, It was a feeling of warmth and compassion as I’d never experienced before! Volunteering had always felt like a chore, but after that December day of my 7th-grade year, I felt a new passion to help others and a desire to give back to my community. Since that initial experience I have joined many organizations to give back to my school and community and the organization that has brought me the most enjoyment and personal growth over the past few years has been the American Sign Language Honors Society. I started taking sign language during my freshman year and fell in love with the community and culture instantly! I admire how the group embodies a strong sense of collectivism, which contrasts with the individualistic culture of most Americans. This Language is more than just a means of communication, it is a connection for Deaf people from all over the world! After 4 years of learning about ASL and the Deaf community, the biggest eye-opener has been the lack of knowledge, care, and respect hearing populations tend to have towards marginalized groups, such as the Deaf. In my Junior year, I applied and became the organization's historian, in charge of documentation and helping plan events. This year I am the president of the organization; I have not only gained leadership experience but also an understanding of how best to serve the community. For me, this has meant providing my peers and community members with knowledge on evident aspects of Deaf culture, like: “can Deaf people drive?”, “do Deaf people have real jobs?”, “can Deaf people hear?” These are all questions I’ve been asked before and after being asked time and again the same questions I realized there had to be a better way to explain these questions rather than waiting for someone to come and ask me. So the way I have explained these questions and many more is through posters that the organization members have made and put around schools that explain Deaf history, figures, and historical events. We also host several outside-of-school events to help teach others signs and broaden people's knowledge about Deaf culture. In short, being a part of the ASL Honors Society has helped show me how to be an advocate and how I can help others have an open mind and kind heart towards any disabled or marginalized group. I've loved being a part of this organization and I can't wait to foster my passion for the language/culture in college and beyond!

“I can't do it… I can’t do it… I can’t do it.” We've all heard this before; it's that little voice that lives rent-free in the back of your mind, always trying to knock you down a peg. One day I was listening to a podcast and the keynote speaker said something that resonated with me: “When we talk negatively to ourselves we are mirroring the way our parents would talk to us as a child.” As time went on from the first time I listened to this podcast I began to realize who my inner voice truly was. My mother was a kind and doting figure in the public eye, but at home, I was always walking on eggshells. Opening the door to our house felt like a game of Russian Rulet, but in my version, there are 5 bullets instead of 1. A drunken stupor, in a blind fit of rage, sobbing relentlessly, stressed from watching my siblings all day, or simply a lifeless husk on her phone. Occasionally I’d get the empty chamber. One way she released her pent-up emotion was by judging everything I did or wanted to try; whether it was wanting to French, or trying to upcycle, my mother always knew how to put down my aspirations. In my teenage years, as her state became worse, I learned to shut off my emotions and was able to coexist with her inconsistent behaviors. However, it became increasingly difficult to flow with my mothers' emotions, and her untamed state proved insurmountable in May of 2022. I was in Vegas with my mother and grandmother. On the final night, my mother had drunk her weight in alcohol. In doing so we almost missed the show we’d flown to Vegas to see. When my grandma confronted her about the negligent behavior. My mom then lashed out at her for over 2 hours, until, like a child, she wore herself out. I didn't sleep that night, I couldn't, but by morning I knew what I needed to do. I prepared for my plan all summer, and finally when the day came(the week school was starting). I told my mother I was going to live with my father full-time. Her reaction was exactly as I predicted, she took my car, and phone, and overnight my college fund was gone… and so was she. Emotionally I was affected more than I thought I would be, but in the end, I felt a sense of freedom and confidence I didn't think possible. My passive flowing current had finally taken control and began to create a new path. It’s been almost a year since the event transpired, and I've never felt more in control. I’ve stopped listening to the little voice in the back of my head and started following my heart, wherever it takes me. This mental freedom has not only allowed me to accept who I am, but it has also led me down the path I wish to pursue myself. This past school year I have taken decisive action to achieve my dream, of becoming a circus artist. I enrolled myself in a beginner tumbling class(I’m now intermediate tumbling) and at a local circus school. Once in college, I will pursue my degree in Kinesiology while I take classes to train my body for the performance aspect of my endeavors. I’ve always lived conservatively, but I refuse to continue living that way! I know my dream is audacious but…I’ve only got one life, so I intend to make every moment count!

Freshman year is a new and exciting time to grow as an individual and build new relationships! My freshman experience revolved around cross country. This sport is where I focused most of my time and energy, it’s also where I met my two best friends at the time Lilla and Liam. We were like three peas in a pod: hang out during practices, texted at school, and got together on the weekends. It felt like my Freshman year was set to be filled with fun times and laughs. Then…On a Friday after school, I got a call from Lilla, she told me that Liam had outed her and myself to the entire boys' cross country team. Those simple words marked the start of endless taunting and belittlement from guys on the cross-country team. Every day during and after practice they made inappropriate jokes and dared us to do inappropriate things… to each other. It was humiliating and the little confidence I had built up for myself came crashing down. After a month of this torture, our coaches finally stepped in and punished the boys who had been making fun of us—but the damage was already done. After that going to cross country felt like a chore, and worse the whole incident not only caused Liam and me to stop being friends it created a lot of tension between me and Lilla. It took me months to recover and mend my self-worth; and when I was in a better head space, it dawned on me, I was able to recover but how many others who were in the same position I was… didn't. My growth from the experience made me realize that I had to take action, I didn’t want anyone else to go through the same criticisms I had to endure; so I focused on two goals to achieve this. First I befriended all of the new people on the team, every year, boy or girl I made sure that everyone felt safe. My passion for supporting my teammates led me to be team captain in my junior and senior years. Second, I wanted to promote acceptance throughout my school so I joined our school's GSA club. GSA is a safe space filled with caring, open-minded people who have similar goals and ambitions as me. This club has allowed me the opportunity to uplift the individuals around me who struggle with who they are and who they want to be. In short, the experience from my freshman year was far from enjoyable, and if I could go back and change it… I wouldn't. Before freshman year I was self-centered and worried about surface-level issues of my day-to-day life. This experience opened my eyes to the harsh realities people in the LGBTQIA+ are faced with. This realization made me go beyond my comfort zone so that I could start putting others first and thinking of ways my actions could best serve my team, school, and community. When I was looking for a college that I could call home for the next 4 years I knew UNT would be the perfect fit. With several resources and LGBTQIA+ organizations on campus, this school is where I intend to pursue my career in kinesiology while continuing to build friendships and uplift my peers.

I want to be a circus artist. When I tell people this I am met with confused looks and shaded remarks: why would you want to do that? And the answer is so simple yet it never seems to suffice. I want to be a circus artist because it’s what I love! Growing up my mom and I didn't have much. Week to week my mom had her nose to the grindstone to make sure that I was taken care of, but she never left much room for herself. Coming home late and rising before dawn took its toll; she tried her best to put on a good show for me at home but I’ve always been able to tell how my mother is truly feeling. Despite the adversities she and I faced when I was growing up, there was always one time of year when the meticulous tasks of daily life seemed to melt away; this exciting time of year was the end of summer for my theater performance. My mom would work hard to scrounge up enough money to put me through a week of the Irving Arts Center Theater Arts Camp. This camp was the catalyst for my love of performing; the day would start with working on visual mediums( writing, painting, weaving, etc) and the latter portion would be writing and rehearsing a play that would be performed at the end of the week. The plays we wrote were short, about 15-20 minutes, and even so the adrenaline rush I felt when I walked on stage was like nothing else. Each year I did a show was always a blast, but the real highlight of it all was seeing my mom's face at the end of the show. The smile she would give me was different, not like the ones where she was trying to cover up her pain and anxiety, it was genuine. That brief 15 minutes brought: life back into her eyes, laughter in her voice, and warmth to her soul. That is why I want to be a circus artist; I want to bring life and joy to the lives of others! I want to inspire people to go beyond their expectations and achieve their wildest dreams! To attain this goal I plan on going to college and pursuing an education in physical sciences (Kinesiology, biomimicry, dance, and more) while continuing my training in circus skills outside of class. I want to travel the world and perform in shows, while also teaching the art of Circus; to further this aspect of my goal, I am currently teaching gymnastics and taking different languages so I can make an impact no matter what language someone speaks. My passion is a lofty one but the most important lesson I learned from watching my mom all those years was: never to give up on what you love. She worked day in and day out to take care of what she loved, me. I intend to do the same, working hard so I can leave my mark on the world. So whether it's getting out of poverty or getting into the circus, every dream has the potential to be a reality!

Freshman Year… a myriad of hormones, awkward encounters, and beginning the journey into young adulthood and I was no exception. People I’d been best friends with in middle school now blended in with stamped strangers in the halls; without peers to confide in, my mind was succumbing to intense habitual anxiety. This anxiety, combined with the stress to maintain good grades, led to intense stomach cramps and bloating. Some days the pain would be so sharp I would stay in the restroom for an entire class period, griping my stomach, desperate for the pain to cease. In an early, desperate attempt, I would go all day eating breakfast a small snack for lunch, and maybe dinner if my hunger was so insurmountable that I couldn't suppress it. As a cross-country runner, this diet was less than substantial and my action began to take drastic tolls on my body. My physical and mental health continued to decline through the fall semester; new friendships began to emerge but even so I felt that no one would understand what I was experiencing, so I locked my pain in a box and threw away the key. I made it a priority to keep all conversations at a surface level, especially with my family. The fear that people would see how weak I was added to my already overflowing anxiety. As September led into October and my emotions remained unchanged, however, a new idea encroached the crease of my mind, spreading like ivy—” what if”. What if I died, what if I killed myself, what if I thrust a kitchen knife through my thoracic rib cage piercing my heart? By October's end, my mind was overgrown, every thought, every day, like an itch I had to scratch…what if. During that lunch on that final week of October the girl I sat with, whom I hardly spoke a word to, gave me a fortune. Reluctant to open It in front of her I waited until I was taking my daily 30 min trip to the restroom: I carefully cracked open the delicate shell and unheld the small paper contents which read, ”share your word with those around you.” so I did. Six simple words are what changed my perspective on life. The first person I shared my words with was my school counselor. Though it was difficult once I had poured out the months of repressed stress, I felt lighter, a weightlessness id never known. It felt good. After the counselor I shared my words with my mom and dad, then the therapist, and I eventually built up the courage to share my words with my friends and teachers. By the start of the second semester, I was on a metamorphic journey. I had unlocked my box of concealment and was unburdening my mind. Fast forward to the present, my senior year, and the itch that once plagued my mind has been vanquished. Today I stand tall, confident in who I am, confiding in people around me, and a cultivator of my own well-being. To maintain a balanced lifestyle for my mind: I journal my intentions in the morning and recite my gratitude at night; I read, to broaden my insight and world perspective. To maintain a balanced body I: begin my day with a workout and end with stretching to decompress; I take pride in the nourishment of my body, focusing on clean eating and herbal remedies. In life, it can be easy to let negativity overgrow your thought, but by staying present-minded and sharing with others life itches will fade away.

Entertainment Engineering— ever heard of it? Cirque Du Soleil, Disney World, & Broadway are just a few places where Entertainment Engineers use their skills to make fantasy a reality. For years when people would ask me the question, “What do you want to be when you’re older?” I felt like a deer in headlights; looking at a daunting unknown unsure what direction I should move in. That paralyzing feeling about my future came to a halt in May of 2022 in Las Vegas. The trip to Vegas was with my mother & grandmother to see the acclaimed Michael Bublé. Of all the amazement's Vegas had to offer, what truly dazzled me was an impromptu visit to the Cirque Due Soleil show “O”… From the aerial artist maneuvering about an apparatus, to the one of a kind hydraulic-stage, every moment was —breathtaking. At the time I couldn’t put it into words, but I walked out of the theater ignited by the prospects of a world I’d never known. I not only desire to engineer the stages that great athletes will perform on, I dream to be one of those athletes. I got back From Vegas & immediately took action towards my new found passion: I enrolled myself in a beginner tumbling class(I’m now in intermediate tumbling), & in my school Engineering Science course. Once in college I will pursue several engineering/art credits, and outside of college I will take classes to train my body for the performance aspect of my endeavors. I reflected since that night in Vegas, & I found the words to describe my feelings from that night: I’ve always lived conservatively, but I refuse to continue living that way! I know my dream is audacious but…I’ve only got one life, so I intend to make every moment count!