It's 9:00pm and all three of my kids are asleep. Motherhood is so weird. I look forward to my alone time so deeply and then end up looking at pictures of them, making school snacks for tomorrow, or finding myself sitting down at my desk typing about them. I'm exhausted - as in my feet hurt and my brain hurts exhausted. My Bristol Kate, Aubrey and Tristan are the tiny loves of my life and I've never been more alive or inspired. They make the sky bluer, dandelions become treasures, blankets become forts, ice cream a food group, belly laughs a normal happening, and 10,000 steps a day a normal goal to reach. But as I drop balls in trying to juggle all that is placed on me, I am grateful for the forgiveness and kindness that my kids give me and my employer. As it doesn't matter what is on the schedule; a sick kid needs mommy. And there's no pay for that. I work in dental. I am on my feet 100% of my day and if an emergency comes in at the end, I am the last one to pick up my kids from After-School care. I keep lollipops in my glove box, because they hate being last. We cut a deal. The last kids picked up always get a lollipop. Kids are so great when they are beautifully naive. It's stupid hard and so many moving pieces, but I can cure most wounds with snuggles and a lollipop. I don't make much money being a dental assistant and now that I find myself on a single income and having my kids in my full custody, there isn't enough energy, money or time in my day. But man, there is so much love. It's absolutely terrifying to return to school with a job and three little ones, but I have created a path and now I'm walking it with everything I have. I am pursing a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration and Human Resource Management. I know now that while my days are incredibly full, motherhood drives me to pursue better and show my little family strength is bigger than we are. Caregiving is painfully hard, but it inspires me unlike anything I've ever come up against. I am leveling up to a career from a job while reaching for stability and larger income brackets. My kids may be on free school lunches, but they don't know it. And I pray they will never know it. What they will remember was that Mommy went back to school and did homework alongside them in the evenings. That we may eat more macaroni and cheese in the coming semesters, but we will finish our goals. I may be the only one in my class doing my studies in a blanket fort with a 1st grader, but it has shaped me into who I am. And I am strong, shockingly more capable than I knew. I am a mommy and future Human Resource graduate who has cried so many tears over my shortcomings and inability to do it all. But as time marches on, they will grow up, I will graduate, and I can honestly say that I was there. Really there. I didn't miss this. We did it, with a whole bunch of grace and lollipops.