I wish I could say that I had a teacher who changed my life or perspective on school, but no, that is the reason I am going to become one. I never initially had the idea of wanting to walk into a classroom again. Still, somehow I am in my third year of undergrad, majoring in education and liberal studies, and have come a long way on my journey with school. Throughout my life, I have struggled with school, learning, and falling behind, and I learned that I was missing something. All I truly wanted was a teacher who could say, "Hey, I know what you are going through," "It's okay, don't worry, you will catch up." Even if it was just a lie, I was always searching for a teacher who was just like me. Anyone who struggled and could be the superhero to my story and save me. Teach me all the things my classmates could do so easily and believe in me, have high expectations for me even if they seemed so far away. Not limit me and not push me away just because it seems too hard for me. At a time when I myself didn't understand what was going on and had no idea why I was the way I was- unteachable, struggling, and couldn't even learn the English language. But I always kept searching and waiting for that teacher; I would even ask myself what I would do if I were in their shoes. What I would teach myself. Wanting to miss recess just so I could learn anything at all because I had no one in my home who could help me with my homework and was told just to practice, practice, and practice, but if I can't even learn, how am I going to teach myself? Somehow being in those small classrooms with students like me led me to graduate high school with honers and then into community college, which I managed to somehow become a student at the University of California, Riverside, I hear my classmates' stories and their wonderful experiences with school, and all I can think is, "Did those who had a bad experience not make it this far?" "Why am I here?" I am going into teaching to become a teacher students can relate to and to tell my own story; if even just one student can hear my story and my experiences. I hope they will finally find the teacher I was looking for so hard.

I was first introduced to special education by my brother with Down syndrome. Now he has graduated in 2023 and attends a continuation school until he is 22. He is in good health, but I would say that, compared to his classmates, his social and communication skills are quite low. He speaks in about 2- to 3-word sentences, so sometimes it's like a puzzle to understand what he is trying to explain, but I'm proud to say that I always find a way, if not verbally, to understand his needs. My parents joke that I'm like his mother, since I understand him best. If he can't say it in Spanish, he says it in English, which my parents can't understand. During COVID, I had to be most involved in his schooling. In the mail, a big box of worksheets arrived, which I had to divide to best fit our schedule, which I made to fit best how I wanted to teach him. At first, he didn't want to and just wanted to be on his tablet, but as time went on, we set a specific time I coordinated so I could get his schoolwork done while I had class as well. At that time he was in middle school, and I was in high school. To be honest, it was not easy. Sometimes I felt like we were starting from zero, and other times he would get the hang of something only to find it completely new the next day. I wanted to stop, but I knew I couldn't because he is my brother. I want the best for him, and I want him to learn more than anything. So I did. After the box filled with worksheets was completely empty, I'm proud to say that I know he learned something; it might not have been everything, but I taught him- I, I taught my brother. After that time, that was when I learned I had to do something with teaching. I always had a strong connection with children with disabilities and have always connected with family, like my cousin who is the same age as me and says I'm her best friend. But there was a reason why I couldn't do it. I always had anxiety and fear towards school because I myself was inside the special education/ IEP world my whole K-12. And I hated it; I couldn't learn, and I always thought of myself as unteachable and would even cry and hit myself on the head when I was young because nothing could stick, which, a lot of the time, I spent teaching my brother. I thought of those moments when my parents were in the same position with me. I never thought I could become anything, pursue higher education, and was just told about getting a job afterward. I would also wonder if I was the only one in my class with these dreams, or if others kept them to themselves. I never thought the classroom was somewhere I would like to be in; I got good grades, excellent. But why was I never able to escape this world of seeing the same faces in all of my classes? I wanted to explore and do things beyond what I thought I could. But there was a problem: I was stuck and could never get out of it until I graduated high school, which my proud mom and dad got to see their daughter graduate, the first graduate out of the two oldest sons who didn't graduate from high school, with honors, in white. I was always in clubs, in AVID, which is for students with aspirations and readiness for college and careers, and I took college courses while in high school. My reading, writing, and math weren't the best; what I call below average, but I always would find ways to keep up with my classmates in AVID and would, at the same time, hide myself because I didn't want others to find out what I was incapable of achieving. I felt like I also wasn't being challenged in my classes, but my low test scores proved otherwise. My mother wanted me to continue schooling, but I couldn't, for fear of what if I can't do it? But still, I did and went to community college, where I got my two years free since I was in a program that required us to maintain a high GPA, and along with that we got easy access to counselors and book vouchers. During my time there, I spoke to my counselor, who gave me the options for majors. Since I wanted to work with children and teaching, elementary education was one of my options, but I was hesitant because elementary school was my most difficult year. I ultimately decided to pick that major, and for my first class, I was in a classroom, and I was an aide for a second-grade class. I always had a fear of being in a classroom, but now I remembered how much I loved the environment. After that experience, I decided I wanted to be a teacher, but not just any teacher, but a special education teacher. For my brother, for my younger self, and for whoever I ever have as a student who doubts their abilities or thinks they can't do something because they lack or are too scared to do it, I want to say. "Hey I know where you are coming from, I was just like you." Because that was all I wanted to hear my whole K-12 schooling.

Recently, I came across some old DVDs from my childhood. They were from when I was in about the 3rd or 4th grade with two of my cousins. My mom was filming, and we were playing a board game, all three of us on the floor. My mom told me to say hi to the camera, so I did. Then she mentioned one of my cousins, saying, “Ella también habla inglés.” They began a full conversation in English, which I did not like. I got up and said, “No me gusta como hablan, me gusta como hablo yo,” and ran to my parents’ room, where I cried on their bed. I used the story to introduce how much language affected and shaped my identity. My name is Elidia Aguilar, and I was born and raised in Riverside, California, but it wasn't until middle school that I fully learned English. I used to despise English because it felt impossible to learn. The reason why I chose this story from my childhood is that it shows how much I despised being the only one unable to understand English. I was the last in my grade of Spanish-speaking students to become fluent, and it took me years longer to learn how to read and write at a basic level, which did not happen until high school. My parents' highest education is elementary, which they weren’t able to finish to provide for their families, and I am the middle child of four, with two older brothers who didn’t finish high school and a younger brother with Down syndrome who is now beginning adult school. As a first-generation Mexican American, my passion comes from how far I've come from a little girl struggling to read and write to a woman pursuing her degree. I understand the challenges of coming from a different background because adjusting to a system where we are expected to fit in is not easy. I understand how inequality in education leads to big gaps in academic performance, resources, and access to higher education, especially for students of color and those from low-income families. Many face barriers, like underfunded schools, limited resources for educators, and a lack of culturally appropriate support. Due to my own struggles in school, I understand how language and cultural differences can make learning more challenging when students lack a clear understanding or good support. I believe that all children deserve equal opportunities for success, and I aim to work in the Inland Empire to provide them with the necessary resources and support to reach their full potential.

Very recently, I found some old DVDs from my childhood. They were from when I was in about 3rd or 4th grade with two of my cousins. My mom was filming, and we were playing a board game, all three of us on the floor. My mom told me to say hi to the camera, so I did. Then she mentioned something to one of my cousins, saying, “Ella también habla inglés.” They began a full conversation in English, which I did not like. I got up and said, “No me gusta como hablan, me gusta como hablo yo,” and ran to my parents’ room, where I laid on their bed and cried. I was born and raised in Riverside, California, but it took me until middle school to fully learn English. I was the last in my grade to speak fluently, and it took years longer to learn how to read and write at a basic elementary level. That did not happen until high school. I used to despise English because of how impossible it felt to learn. Father and mother never finished their education, each only reaching elementary school. But they tried very hard to teach me English. I remember sitting at the dining table with my mother and a Highlights magazine she ordered through the mail. I could never actually read them. I looked at the pictures and did crossword puzzles by matching the answers to the number of letters in each box. Many times I cried from frustration. My parents do not know how to read in English, but at the time they still knew more than I did. Yet they never stopped trying to help me. I have many memories of crying in school, sinking feeling during “popcorn reading” and asking to go to the bathroom just to avoid it. That fear never really went away. Graduating high school with honors is one of my proudest accomplishments because I was always behind in school. Now I have finished community college and am entering the University of California, Riverside to become an elementary school teacher. Never did I think I would want to go to the very place I once feared. I wish I had a teacher who understood me, one who would not just put me aside with work I already knew how to do and not challenge me to learn what the rest of the class was learning. I want to be that teacher for other students. I will become the first in my family to pursue higher education. I am the middle child, with two older brothers who never finished high school and a younger brother with Down syndrome who just entered adult school. My mom has always told me something that still motivates me. In high school, I had an IEP, which stands for Individualized Education Program for students who need specialized instruction. Every year, my mom attended meetings about my education, and the woman in charge once told her, “Todo lo que ella haga en la vida lo hará bien.” My mom repeats that to me every time I accomplish something. As a first-generation Mexican American student, my passion comes from knowing how far I have come, from a little girl crying because she could not read a word to a woman about to earn her degree. I carry my family’s sacrifices, my parents’ dedication, and my own determination into everything I do. This degree will not just be mine. It will be proof to my family, my community, and my future students that with hard work, nothing is impossible.

The people who inspire me are my parents. They have always supported me in my education journey and have driven me to work harder. Neither my father nor my mother finished school; the highest level of education was elementary, which they didn’t even finish. I was the first in my family to graduate from high school and go to college, the youngest of 2 brothers who didn’t finish school. I also have a younger brother who is a senior in high school and has Down Syndrome. I always do my best to help and work with him when I can, because even though he is in high school, academically, he is at an elementary level. Knowing that I will be the first generation in my family to pursue higher education drives me to work even harder. My name is Elidia Aguilar, and I currenlty at RCC to get my associate's degree to transfer to a University of California, Riverside and become an elementary teacher. I'm about at my second year of college.The reason that I want to become a teacher is that, for me, school was tough, and I did not like going to school in elementary, the main reason being that I didn't understand English, which led me to not being able to communicate with the teacher and my classmates. I always wished I could read and write like the other kids, but I needed to catch up in all subjects. All I wanted was for a teacher to teach me everything the others already understood, but that wasn’t the case. I would get different assignments to complete that were more my level, which made me even further behind because I wasn’t getting pushed into learning what others were learning, and I felt like I was divided from the class. That is why I want to become a teacher. I want to help students even when they don't understand something or are unable to communicate with each other. I want to do everything possible to help them learn and not make them feel divided from the class, but teach them the material that will help them thrive. I want to become a teacher who truly listens and treats everyone equally. Not only that, but I want to give students everything that I want in a teacher. I struggled a lot in school, and there was always a language barrier between me and the teachers. I always felt divided from others; when given an assignment, I was never given the same work because it would be too “hard for me,” and I couldn’t understand why that was. When teachers thought they were helping me, in reality, I was falling further behind. I want to treat everyone equally, even if there are language barriers. My mother works at a company, and she gets more and more hurt in her hands and feet. My father works in construction. Every day, I see them so tired. They both tell me, “Consigue un trabajo donde tu vida no esté en riesgo, y, lo más importante, un trabajo que disfrutes.” Get a job where your life isn't at risk and, most importantly, a job you enjoy. And that is precisely what I am going to do.

I am 19 years old and am attending Riverside City College, where I plan to transfer to the University of California, Riverside. Throughout my years in school, I have faced many challenges in my education. It would be difficult to name just one because each obstacle has shaped my journey in my education. Growing up, I only knew Spanish, and learning English was incredibly difficult. I wasn’t alone in this struggle, especially in kindergarten, but I fell increasingly behind as the years went on. At one point, I thought I would never catch up, which made me not very fond of school. I would cry and beg my mother not to take me. Since neither my father nor my mother finished school, the highest level of education was elementary, which they didn’t even finish. I was the first in my family to graduate from high school and go to college, the youngest of 2 brothers who didn’t finish school. I also have a younger brother who is a senior in high school and has Down Syndrome. I always do my best to help and work with him when I can because, even though he is in high school, academically, he is at an elementary level. Knowing I will be the first generation in my family to pursue higher education drives me to work even harder. Elementary school was particularly tough since I couldn’t read, write, or do the things that seemed to come so easily to other classmates. This left me feeling isolated, and I was placed in groups with others who were also struggling to keep up, but nothing worked. Despite these setbacks, when I entered middle school, I decided I wouldn’t give up. I worked hard daily, pushing myself even when I was scared others might notice how far behind I was. I joined AVID and ASB in middle and high school, which helped me gain confidence and taught me the importance of perseverance. Ultimately, I overcame my educational challenges; still, I'm not perfect, and I learn more every day. Not only did I finish high school with honors, but I also became the first of my two older siblings to graduate. Now, I am determined to pursue a career and go to college. My struggles taught me that everyone learns at their own pace, but we can achieve great things with dedication and effort.  This is why I want to become an elementary teacher. I know how hard and frustrating it can be to face language barriers or to feel like you're falling too far behind. My experiences have shaped my academic achievement by teaching me the value of hard work and setting goals for myself. I want to help other students know they aren't alone and are facing similar struggles to realize they can succeed and enjoy school. I want to work in education as an elementary teacher, working with little kids and helping them grow in their learning. I plan to graduate with an associate's degree at RCC and transfer to a four-year school like UCR. I struggled in school growing up, but they all taught me that everyone learns at their own pace and that we can achieve great things with dedication and effort.  Overall, being Hispanic has affected me significantly because it has driven me to work harder and allowed me to grow as a person. I know we Hispanics had similar stories, but it's what we make out of our stories and build.

My name is Elidia Aguilar, and I am going to RCC to get my associate's degree to transfer to a university and become an elementary teacher. I'm about at my second year of college. My goal in school is to pass all my classes with good grades and graduate one day to become a teacher. The reason that I want to become a teacher is that, for me, school was tough, and I did not like going to school in elementary, the main reason being that I didn't understand English, which led me to not being able to communicate with the teacher and my classmates. I always wished I could read and write like the other kids, but I needed to catch up in all subjects. All I wanted was for a teacher to teach me everything the others already understood, but that wasn’t the case. I would get different assignments to complete that were more my level, which made me even further behind because I wasn’t getting pushed into learning what others were learning, and I felt like I was divided from the class. That is why I want to become a teacher. I want to help students even when they don't understand something or are unable to communicate with each other. I want to do everything possible to help them learn and not make them feel divided from the class, but teach them the material that will help them thrive.   I want to become a teacher who truly listens and treats everyone equally. Not only that, but I want to give students everything that I want in a teacher. I struggled a lot in school, and there was always a language barrier between me and the teachers. I always felt divided from others; when given an assignment, I was never given the same work because it would be too “hard for me,” and I couldn’t understand why that was. When teachers thought they were helping me, in reality, I was falling further behind. I want to treat everyone equally, even if there are language barriers. My mother works at a company, and she gets more and more hurt in her hands and feet. My father works in construction. Every day, I see them so tired. They both tell me, “Consigue un trabajo donde tu vida no esté en riesgo, y, lo más importante, un trabajo que disfrutes.” Get a job where your life isn't at risk and, most importantly, a job you enjoy. And that is precisely what I am going to do. The people who inspire me are my parents. They have always supported me in my education journey and have driven me to work harder. Neither my father nor my mother finished school; the highest level of education was elementary, which they didn’t even finish. I was the first in my family to graduate from high school and go to college, the youngest of 2 brothers who didn’t finish school. I also have a younger brother who is a senior in high school and has Down Syndrome. I always do my best to help and work with him when I can, because even though he is in high school, academically, he is at an elementary level. Knowing that I will be the first generation in my family to pursue higher education drives me to work even harder.

Throughout my life, I have always been told to take care of my brother with Down syndrome, whether they are here or not, knowing that I only ever had one goal, which is to work hard to give him everything he ever wanted. I hope to get an education in working with children and be able to become an elementary teacher. I am the first in my family to finish high school and pursue higher education; I come from a family of a mother, father, and three brothers, two oldest of whom never finished high school, and a younger brother with Down syndrome. Neither my mother nor my father ever finished elementary school, and that is because they had to work from a young age to earn money for the house in Mexico. Throughout my life, I never thought pursuing higher education was something I would have been interested in doing. But here I am writing this essay after just finishing my 2nd semester of community college, hoping to transfer to a university. There are many reasons why I never thought I would want to keep going to school even after high school. The main one was that I was never good at school growing up; I entered school only knowing Spanish, and learning English was the hardest. I wasn't the only one like this but became the only one as the years passed. Causing me to be behind in school. I didn't know how to read or write, and I never did the homework because I didn't understand anything. But I always wished someone could stay with me during recess and teach me everything that I could never understand but came so easily to the other students. My mother tried to help me with my homework, but there was no hope because neither she nor I understood anything. However, she tried her best. Entering middle school was when I gave it my all and started to work harder. In high school, I graduated with honors. At times, I struggle, but I work my hardest to give it my all and achieve what I want. Now that I'm no longer in that situation, I want to help those like me who are struggling in school and want to help them meet their goals. I have learned in years of school that everyone learns differently and at their own pace. Even though I had a bad experience in school and thought I never wanted to be back, I want to become an elementary teacher and help those struggling.

Throughout life, I have always been told to take care of my brother and watch him when my mother was busy, and I always understood why; it was because my brother is different from others. My brother is currently 17 years old, and I have been told to take care of him and help him all my life. My brother has Down syndrome, but when you take a look at him, he looks "normal," not someone who still is unable to read, write, or be able to have an entire conversation. However, it is important to know that just because someone has a disability does not mean that they have limits; they are very capable of doing many things, but it might just take longer for them. Now that I am older, I understand that every special needs child is different. During COVID, I set up my brother's computer to join his classes while doing my own schoolwork. When my class finished, I would sit next to him and watch how the class functioned. I would learn more about the students each day, along with the teachers and how they would communicate with the students in a way that was custom to them. How they would communicate with everyone made them a safe environment. Since my brother never participated or turned on his camera because he was shy, the teachers and I started to communicate and found a way to help him. He would get a stack of worksheets through the mail that would be used throughout the year, and I would have to help him complete them all, which was really difficult because I had to come up with a way to teach him something in a way that he could understand and could break it down for him. Even though I am still learning, an important method of teaching special education is understanding that each child is different and capable of many things that a child who isn't in special education can do too. Along with my brother, who is special needs, I also have a cousin who also has Down syndrome but is different from my brother in her learning levels and communication, which are much lower. I always talk to her at family gatherings, where I notice that I have to use a lower vocabulary and include hand signals to help her understand. Throughout all of these special education people that I have come across, I have noticed that everyone is different and can't teach them a certain way because it may not work for them, but it may work for others. One thing may work for them, but we need to be patient enough because it could take them longer to understand sometimes, and they could also forget what they have already been taught the next day, which is why we just have to be very patient with them and reteach it to them again. This is what is currently happening with my brother where I'm currently teaching him how to count money, and when he understands something one day, the next day, he forgets it completely, and I have to reteach it again, which is frustrating but I know that's when he is able to count money I'm going to be really proud of him, and I know that all the work will pay off. I want to teach special education because I love people with special needs like my brother, and I want to give him all the resources to teach. Since I was able to see how a classroom teaching special ed was managed, I wanted to learn more. Now, I'm in a community college, hoping to transfer to a university and wanting to teach special education in elementary for kids just like my brother.