Music has not changed my life. Music has given me life. It is the cornerstone of who and what I am today. From the moment I could comprehend music as a child. I was captivated by it. Whether riding in the car listening to Sesame Street CDs, watching Little Einsteins, and singing along to the theme song. The music that filled the air at my family's church sparked the desire to make music an integral part of my life in the future. The experience I gained playing on my 6th-grade public school's band and chorus further strengthened this passion. I began learning to play the tuba and thereafter took bass guitar lessons. As time proceeded, I added the drums for the school's jazz band and taught myself to play guitar in my spare time. I had a traumatic brain injury as a teenager and didn't give up on my music. It was my rock while I recovered. At first, the injury didn't seem too bad, but over time I realized the large impact on my life. I was lucky that my motor function wasn't seriously impaired, but my cognitive ability to function academically and express my emotions had been hurt. I was frustrated. I used music to help me in different ways. When stressed, I would listen to music or pick up my guitar and play. When frustrated I would grab my sticks and blast some beats on my drums. Music helped me healthily express my emotions and grow towards being able to do so verbally. I am thankful for music, prayers, and hard work, in my recovery from my injury. My TBI as tragic as the event was made me focus on the important aspects of life. I have a different perspective on life than my peers. I live for the now and plan for my future. Music healed me and opened the doors for a career I'll enjoy. Creating new songs that reach into the depths to express feelings that may help others cope with health problems and give hope. I'll be able to support myself and my family when the time comes for marriage and having children. Music is a gift I can give to my children and grandchildren and the many generations after them. Music healed me spiritually, physically, and mentally. Music gave me hope to face the moment at hand. I will continue to live by the words on my high school graduation mortarboard, " when words fail, music speaks."

My parents have always let me try new things and encouraged me, whether I have a talent or success in the new things I've tried. I played many sports when I was younger, which I did well at, but they were not something I desired within my heart. I played lacrosse, soccer, baseball, hockey, basketball, I even rode horses. All things my parents came to watch, enjoy, and cheer me on at. They equally encouraged me with my music. We always had music playing, and mom and I would sing when I was little, whether it was the Christian kids’ songs or the Sesame Street CD in the car or just the radio. I would bang on things to make different noises. They didn't tell me that it was too loud or to stop making noise, they would say, 'Hey, that sounds good, can you make that into a song?' They encouraged me to be better at music, even though I was a toddler. I don't remember this, but these are the stories that they've told me repeatedly. And as I grew, my desire for music outweighed any desire for sports. But because I was able to try all these different things and was encouraged for each one of them equally. I was able to choose and follow my dreams from when I was very young. Music has opened the doors have a career that I know I'll enjoy, and along with that, I'll be able to support myself and my family when the time comes for marriage and having children. Another thing that has helped shape me into the person that I am now is my traumatic brain injury. I still have times of why this happened to me. I always try to look at it from a positive side. I am more creative because of the head injury. I know that sounds odd, but I think it changed my outlook on life, and that's why I have more creativity. Also gives me a different perspective of life than just a different point of view. I look at some of my classmates at college, and sometimes they're in their little world, and they don't understand how their actions impact other people. And it's not as though they're not caring about other people, or that I care more for other people. It's that they don't understand that certain things in life matter more than what they're focusing on. And I can see myself differently, I don't get hung up on something, and I understand that there's a bigger picture of life. I have firsthand knowledge of how, in a split second, your life can change forever. You must change your way of thinking to make it through the day, which is something I learned from my traumatic brain injury. It's helped me overcome difficulties. Help me to strategize my day, and that in turn has helped me set goals and have a sense of order in my life. Before my TBI, I kind of let my life flit about, not being as focused or as goal-driven. Using my degree and my health history, I will impact the world, or at least my small part of it. Creating new songs, reaching into the depths to express feelings that can help others cope with health problems, as I had on my high school mortarboard, " when words fail, music speaks," this is how I will have a positive impact on the world.

Jake was a thorn in my side at times while we grew up. He and I learned skills side by side in Cub Scouts and later in Boy Scouts. When I started to attend public school he was one of the groups of people I had as instant friends from my time in scouts. I was shocked when I learned he had committed suicide. As many did after his death we went through our last conversations word by word. Did a text message seem odd? What did I miss? Jake was always what everyone considered the life of the party. He had the best jokes, the funniest faces, and the loudest laugh. What made him hurt so bad? why did he turn to drinking? Why didn't he see how valuable he was to so many people? The questions I wanted to know the answers to. He had a successful business and a loving girlfriend. His relationship with his mom was a bit rocky. nothing that was super red flag stuff. What did I miss? Our mutual friends and I gathered to reminisce about our time with him. We found that when he was joking he did leave hints things weren't right with him. Jake was always making jokes we didn't pay attention to those small things. UGH! I could use the excuse I am at college miles away. Snapchat and other social media kept us connected here and there. Still, the question lurks, what did I miss? Since Jake's death, I do listen better and read as they say 'between the lines' of messages from my friends and family. Is anyone showing through social media more drinking or drug use? Did they start drinking or using drugs when before they were abstinent? Are they not wanting to hang out with friends? I have realized that I need to curb my desire to drink excessively if I am stressed. I have always turned to music, and have added working out. The endorphins I get from the workouts I have found myself in a better mental health place. I talk with a trusted friend or professor when I feel overwhelmed with life's circumstances. I reach out to my parents. I do not expect them to 'fix' anything for me. They know me best and always have my best interests in perspective. I pray that Jake remembered the Jesus he learned about in Cub Scouts in his last moments. What I will miss is my childhood friend.

I have overcome several hurdles while pursuing my degree. The first one was recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and brain bleed in May 2019 during my 10th-grade year, I hit my head badly skateboarding. After this injury, music helped me with my recovery and offered me a healthy way to cope with the emotional trauma that came with it. Although not suffer from any substantial reductions in my motor functions, my cognitive ability to function at a high level academically and properly express myself emotionally had greatly fallen off. I used music to help me in many different ways. When I was feeling stressed, I would listen to some music or pick up my guitar and just play. If I was feeling frustrated or angry I would practice some blast beats on my drums or play some punk rock on my electric guitar. Music helped me to express my emotions healthily and grow towards being able to do so verbally. My freshman year of college. I did not adapt very well to organizing my daily needs. I tried to do it all alone and failed miserably. I decided to make my sophomore year better. I succeeded again and made the Dean’s Honor list for my school. Another outlet that helped my recovery was playing golf on my high school JV and Varsity golf teams. After graduation, I played in a charity event to benefit the local outreach of a community center in a small town near home. I play with my family, and it gives us quality time together. I have introduced several college classmates to the game, and we will go out and play a round when time permits us to leave campus. My skills have greatly improved from those early days. My dad and I spent the day together at Oak Hill County Club in Rochester NY to watch our favorite players compete in the PGA Open. I studied each player looking for ways to improve my own game, applying those ideas is taking a bit longer. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event that my dad and I can reminisce about for many years. Coming to the end of my high school career I knew I wanted to pursue music at a collegiate level. I knew that I needed to have a stable job that would support a family coming out of college. I didn't want to put all my chips on being an educator or performer and thought being a music industry major would be a safer bet to a stable job following college. Entering my senior year of college fall of 24', I made the right choice. I have a profound love for working with live music and find it a privilege I have the opportunity to make money doing what I love. My long-term professional goals would be to work for a larger venue as their house audio engineer, travel working for a company as an audio engineer, and or work for a band as their audio engineer. Although I am already being hired by bands to play bass guitar, I hope that opportunity can only grow, and can continue to work with various bands in both the live and studio setting no matter the instrument. If my post-college career requires traveling, I will have a passion I can take with me that has a dual role. A fun-filled hobby and a great stress reliever from daily woes.

Music can be seen in so many elements of life. Even if the genres or styles of music are different, music is something most everyone can use to connect with others. Whether it's used in your culture, religion, or simply as you drive to work or wash the dishes, music is utilized everywhere by all people. I am no exception to the impact music has on life. I have always been infatuated by music, in utero, I would kick in time to music that my mom was listening to. My mom joked “this baby is going to be a drummer”. I remember hearing the music at my family's church and knowing from a young age I wanted to make it a part of my life. Moving to public school in my 6th grade year I now had the opportunity to join band and chorus. I started playing tuba and shortly after began taking lessons for bass guitar. Later on, I also started playing drums for our jazz band and learned guitar on my own time. Unfortunately, in May of 2019 during my 10th grade year, I hit my head badly skateboarding and suffered a traumatic brain injury. After this injury music helped me with my recovery and offered me a healthy way to cope with the emotional trauma that came with it. Although not suffering from any substantial reductions in my motor functions, my cognitive ability to function at a high level academically and properly express myself emotionally had greatly fallen off. I used music to help me in many different ways. When I was feeling stressed, I would listen to some music or pick up my guitar and just play. If I was feeling frustrated or angry I would practice some blast beats on my drums or play some punk rock on my electric guitar. Music helped me to express my emotions in a healthy way and grow towards being able to do so verbally. Coming to the end of my high school career I knew I wanted to pursue music at a collegiate level. With that in mind I also knew that I needed to have a stable job I could support a family with coming out of college. I didn't want to put all my chips on being an educator or performer and thought being a music industry major would be a safer bet to a stable job following college. Now entering my senior year of college fall of 24', I definitely made the right choice. I have a profound love for working with live music and find it a privilege I have the opportunity to make money doing what I love. My long-term professional goals would be to work for a larger venue as their house audio engineer, travel working for a company as an audio engineer, and or working for a band as their audio engineer. Although I am already being hired by bands to play bass guitar, I hope that opportunity can only grow, and I can continue to work with various bands in both the live and studio setting no matter the instrument.

Music can be seen in so many elements of life. Even if the genres or styles of music are different, music is something most everyone can use to connect with others. Whether it's used in your culture, religion, or simply as you drive to work or wash the dishes, music is utilized everywhere by all people. I am no exception to the impact music has on life. I have always been infatuated by music. I remember hearing the music at my family's church and knowing from a young age I wanted to make it a part of my life. Moving to public school in my 6th grade year I now had the opportunity to join band and chorus. I started playing tuba and shortly after began taking lessons for bass guitar. Later on, I also started playing drums for our jazz band and learned guitar on my own time. Unfortunately, in May of 2019 during my 10th grade year, I hit my head badly skateboarding and suffered a traumatic brain injury. After this injury music helped me with my recovery and offered me a healthy way to cope with the emotional trauma that came with it. Although not suffering from any substantial reductions in my motor functions, my cognitive ability to function at a high level academically and properly express myself emotionally had greatly fallen off. I used music to help me in many different ways. When I was feeling stressed, I would listen to some music or pick up my guitar and just play. If I was feeling frustrated or angry I would practice some blast beats on my drums or play some punk rock on my electric guitar. Music helped me to express my emotions in a healthy way and grow towards being able to do so verbally. Coming to the end of my high school career I knew I wanted to pursue music at a collegiate level. With that in mind I also knew that I needed to have a stable job I could support a family with coming out of college. I didn't want to put all my chips on being an educator or performer and thought being a music industry major would be a safer bet to a stable job following college. Now entering my senior year of college fall of 24', I definitely made the right choice. I have a profound love for working with live music and find it a privilege I have the opportunity to make money doing what I love. My long-term professional goals would be to work for a larger venue as their house audio engineer, travel working for a company as an audio engineer, and or working for a band as their audio engineer. Although I am already being hired by bands to play bass guitar, I hope that opportunity can only grow, and I can continue to work with various bands in both the live and studio setting no matter the instrument. Having reduced ​loan amounts to incur for college will help me in being fiscally sound after college. My focus can be about creating a vibrant music scene and less about financial woes.

I have overcome several hurdles while pursuing my degree. The first one was recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and brain bleed in May 2019. I persisted in finishing my school year while fighting headaches and processing delays. I had vestibular therapy over the summer. In my junior year of high school COVID happened and I was still having difficulty with using a computer for a long period. I worked to use a computer and finish my school assignments. One of the last difficulties I encountered was my freshman year of college. I did not adapt very well to organizing my daily needs. I tried to do it all alone and failed miserably. I decided to make my sophomore year better. I succeeded again in the spring and fall (Junior year) of 2023, I achieved being on the Dean’s Honor list (GPS 3.75- 3.99). Music Industry is my major of choice. As a musician, I decided I needed a degree that I could use in many areas. I was not going to rely on becoming famous to pay my bills and raise a family. I started my music career by kicking in time to the music while I was in utero, my mom said I was destined to be a musician. I learned to play several instruments and always want to learn more. I also alpine ski, skateboard, and hike with my dog. I show my antique tractors at local shows. I am part of my church’s worship band and act for the vacation Bible school skits. I am one of the leaders of Joshua Band the worship band for my university’s chapel services for students, this is an invitation-only leadership role. I am a member of the university’s wind ensemble, orchestra, and jazz ensemble and play in the KOIN student ministry. I am the lead tech person for several KOIN worship teams. I plan to work in either recording or as a sound engineer at a music venue or church. Music is a universal language, ideas can be shared as it has been done for centuries. Ethnic, cultural, and humanitarian efforts can be addressed in a non-judgmental avenue. Socially music reaches people with a message of hope, encouragement & comfort, especially in a time of turmoil. Music although it can be perceived as political, and used that way in the past, especially in the United States dramatically during the Vietnam conflict, music can bring political change with nonviolence. Music reaches across cultures. I am drawn to reggae-type music. This is not the culture I was raised in. Listening to and enjoying music from other cultures and eras breaks down the barriers that have been raised by unawareness or lack of education about other people’s heritages or lifespans. My degree requires proficiency in multiple types of music history. I can then implement this knowledge into my music recording. Helping others of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds in recording and not having a preconceived and uneducated prejudice about them. Being globally aware is how everyone should be, I am fortunate to be able to use music and my education to become just that. Leaving university with a small amount of loan debt will make achieving my dream a reality with the assistance of this scholarship.

I have overcome several hurdles while pursuing my degree. The first one was recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and brain bleed in May 2019. I persisted in finishing my school year while fighting headaches and processing delays. I had vestibular therapy over the summer. In my junior year of high school COVID happened and I was still having difficulty with using a computer for a long period. I worked to use a computer and finish my school assignments. One of the last difficulties I encountered was my freshman year of college. I did not adapt very well to organizing my daily needs. I tried to do it all alone and failed miserably. I decided to make my sophomore year better. I succeeded again in the spring and fall (Junior year 2023) of 2023, I achieved being on the Dean’s Honor list (GPS 3.75- 3.99). Music Industry is my major of choice. As a musician, I decided I needed a degree that I could use in many areas. I was not going to rely on becoming famous to pay my bills and raise a family. I started my music career by kicking in time to the music while I was in utero, my mom said I was destined to be a musician. I learned to play several instruments and always want to learn more. I also alpine ski, skateboard, and hike with my dog. I show my antique tractors at local shows. I am part of my church’s worship band and act for the vacation Bible school skits. I am one of the leaders of Joshua Band the worship band for my university’s chapel services for students, this is an invitation-only leadership role. I am a member of the university’s wind ensemble, orchestra, and jazz ensemble and play in the KOIN student ministry. I am the lead tech person for several KOIN worship teams. I plan to work in either recording or as a sound engineer at a music venue or church. Music is a universal language, ideas can be shared as it has been done for centuries. Ethnic, cultural, and humanitarian efforts can be addressed in a non-judgmental avenue. Socially music reaches people with a message of hope, encouragement & comfort, especially in a time of turmoil. Music reaches across cultures. Listening to and enjoying music from other cultures and eras breaks down the barriers that have been raised by unawareness or lack of education about other people’s heritages or lifespans. My degree requires proficiency in multiple types of music history. I can then implement this knowledge into my music recording. Helping others of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds in recording and not having a preconceived and uneducated prejudice about them. Being globally aware is how everyone should be, I am fortunate to be able to use music and my education to become just that. I see a church as a public service place. A church provides many ways to help the community. My church has a food pantry it supports. For those that need home repairs, there is a benevolence fund and workers to do the work with the required skills. A place for counseling and help with addictions. My church is a hospital for the hurting and is filled with people like myself ready to help those who need assistance. Using music to bring those within the walls of the building together as one is a task that with my education I will be able to achieve.

I have overcome several hurdles while pursuing my degree. The first one was recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and brain bleed in May 2019. I persisted in finishing my school year while fighting headaches and processing delays. I had vestibular therapy over the summer. In junior year COVID happened and I was still having difficulty with using a computer for a long period. I worked to use a computer and finish my school assignments. One of the last difficulties I encountered was my freshman year of college. I did not adapt very well to organizing my daily needs. I tried to do it all alone and failed miserably. I decided to make my sophomore year better. I succeeded again in the spring and fall(Junior year) of 2023, I achieved being on the Dean’s Honor list (GPS 3.75- 3.99). Music Industry is my major of choice. As a musician, I decided I needed a degree that I could use in many areas. I was not going to rely on becoming famous to pay my bills and raise a family. I started my music career by kicking in time to the music while I was in utero, my mom said I was destined to be a musician. I learned to play several instruments and always want to learn more. I also alpine ski, skateboard, and hike with my dog. I show my antique tractors at local shows. I am part of my church’s worship band and act for the vacation Bible school skits. I am one of the leaders of Joshua Band the worship band for my university’s chapel services for students, this is an invitation-only leadership role. I am a member of the university’s wind ensemble, orchestra, and jazz ensemble and play in the KOIN student ministry. I am the lead tech person for several KOIN worship teams. I plan to work in either recording or as a sound engineer at a music venue or church. Music is a universal language, ideas can be shared as it has been done for centuries. Ethnic, cultural, and humanitarian efforts can be addressed in a non-judgmental avenue. Socially music reaches people with a message of hope, encouragement & comfort, especially in a time of turmoil. Music although it can be perceived as political, and used that way in the past, especially in the United States dramatically during the Vietnam conflict, music can bring political change with nonviolence. Music reaches across cultures. I am drawn to reggae-type music. This is not the culture I was raised in. Listening to and enjoying music from other cultures and eras breaks down the barriers that have been raised by unawareness or lack of education about other people’s heritages or lifespans. My degree requires proficiency in multiple types of music history. I can then implement this knowledge into my music recording. Helping others of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds in recording and not having a preconceived and uneducated prejudice about them. Being globally aware is how everyone should be, I am fortunate to be able to use music and my education to become just that. Leaving university with a small amount of loan debt will make achieving my dream a reality with the assistance of this scholarship.

Imagine looking out into the crowd and seeing many smiling faces looking back at you. That feeling is what I have experienced many times as I sang to members of my community that came to support my local ROTARY club. The joyfulness of the spectators' experience gives inspiration for me to continue to sing. My desire to be a music performer has allowed me to volunteer in my community alongside the ROTARY. During COVID, my high school jazz band provided entertainment for the music in the park summer series. One of the organizers knew of my musical talents and asked me and my friends to be the opening act for other performers. I am in my third summer of playing instruments and singing, and the inspiration from the crowd spurns me forward. How does being a music performer begin to influence change in their community? Many of the people attending the programs are not in my age demographic. My volunteering started when I was sixteen. Those attending were in the sixty-plus-year age group. I became approachable to many that normally would not talk to a teenage boy. The ROTARY coordinator relayed back to me that because I was able to initiate a conversation with these adults they felt comfortable being near me. This in turn makes me a role model for my peers to be approachable as well. I am creating change in how each of these groups reevaluates how they see the other group. Even in my small hometown, there is a disconnect between age groups. Some of those in the older generations think teenagers are disrespectful and are not able to have an intelligent conversations. Those in my age group think that no one trusts them and that older people just want to talk politics. Then there is the group my parents belong to that is sandwiched in between. My peers can relate better with them because they see them as parents. This new level of openness and the beginning of trust between the older group and the younger group was not what I thought would happen when I sang my first song. I was not planning to influence my community into creating new relationships with people that they saw as different. I began to perform because of my desire to allow others to enjoy music and the freedom it can give you. The bonus to give back to my community with an avenue that I enjoy is a dream come true.

My traumatic brain injury has changed my outlook on life and my education. The TBI gives me a different perspective of life not just a different point of view. I look at some of my classmates at college and sometimes they're in their little world and they don't understand how the world is bigger than what they see. That although having your life on track is important, you need to stop and reflect on the world around you. My TBI not only makes me strategize my day and set goals to have a sense of order in my life but has helped me look at the bigger picture of life around me. After my first year of college and three years of post-Traumatic Brain Injury, I find that things are easier for me. The work is harder sometimes but because of the way classes are set up and the freedom I have I'm better able to concentrate and focus on my classes. In high school the class period was short, I would just be getting into understanding something, and the class would end, and you'd go on to the next period. Having the larger blocks of time for class I'm able to absorb more information and a deeper understanding of what the professor is trying to convey to the class. I like that the professors are more involved with me as a person. Maybe because they have smaller classes, and they are not as stressed as a public-school teacher. The blocks of classes make it easier to set aside time for studying. I am thriving because of the way that the classes are set up, I like them better than high school. So, I'm thinking that the college setting is better for me after my traumatic brain injury. This is a pleasant surprise for me to be able to succeed in a world that was very much unknown and petrifying to me just a year ago.

Mom emboldened me to be creative from my conception. I began kicking in rhythm to worship music while in utero. Ever since that moment, she has encouraged me to be a follower of Jesus and a musician. I have watched videos of me as a toddler singing songs that I had made up. Mom would write them down for me at my insistence. She is a sentimental person and has them packed away. Hoping that one day I may use one of those first songs as a starting platform of an original worship song. As an elementary and middle school kid, she would help me get ready for trying out for church and school plays and musicals. Helping to decide audition songs and then learning lines and songs for the actual production. She states she has no musical ability other than turning on and off the radio, she is glad that I have been blessed with musical talent and was able to be my chauffeur during this time. Fast forward to my teen years. I went from singing harmony with the worship team to playing bass guitar and drums for my church. I organize worship at my home church when I am on school breaks. Separate from church, I have been the opening act for fundraising events for our local ROTARY and the local high school’s IB CAS (International Baccalaureate Creativity Activity Service) events, this has helped me hone my live performance skills. At the events, my parents were sitting in the front row cheering me on. I had a season of prodigal times, mom loved me unconditionally and still encouraged me to follow God and focus on my music. Many parents yell and lecture their kids if they do wrong. My mom told me she was disappointed with my choices because I am capable of so much more. She was upfront about her displeasure with my actions and wanted me to turn away from the sin I was participating in. Knowing that she loved me at the sinful place I was, helped me get through the times of doubt and darkness. I am attending Houghton College a Christian school. I age to be a teammate of two different worship bands for KOIN, the student-led worship on Sunday nights. My major is music production, part of my degree requires me to do the sound for our tri-weekly chapel services. I also participate in the wind ensemble, refining my skills for playing my tuba. I am cultivating a deeper relationship with Jesus through my college education. As I matured my mom has stood by me in God-glorifying times and during what some may call my prodigal son times. She gave me information and allowed me to find my faith in God. I found it easy to follow her example because she is a Godly woman. The person she is at church on Sunday is the mom she is all week long. I am truly blessed to have her as an encouraging, faith-filled, living, and breathing example to exemplify. A phrase she has encouraged me with my entire life is Honor God. I heard this each night after we would do bedtime prayers and when I would leave to go be with friends or back to school.

Honor God. My mom tells me this every time we say goodbye and I head back to college. In all honesty she has been saying this to me my whole life. These two words are very much the basis of what I should be striving for. I have not always or maybe even today followed those words. I do know without them I would have no compass of what direction my life should go. If I am truly honoring him then whatever I am doing is the right thing to do. There is no need to second guess my decision or defend why I am doing what I chose. It may be more difficult to do or not popular in this time. I have to keep my eye on the long term eternal side of the equation. Do I want instant gratification and recognition or do I want to hear the words from Jesus “well done” in heaven? I am not saying that honoring God is always difficult. Playing in a worship band brings honor to God, I do get earthly recognition for this. Playing my guitar and singing is fun and enjoyable. It isn’t hard or unpopular to those that surround me. I can play secular music and still have my life as an example of someone that tries to be obey their parents and heed the words of wisdom they say of “honor God.”

1. Winning this scholarship would be so very helpful with my plan to use the winnings to play the lottery and parlay those winnings into a retirement account. I believe this path would be quicker and easier than actually having to study and then work in a possible dead end job for the rest of my life. 2. My career goals are to be a famous and independently wealthy musician. So academically it might be helpful to study something related to music and business. 3. The biggest obstacle I have had to overcome is myself. I constantly get in my own way while working towards my goals. If I wasn’t slowing myself down I would be so much further ahead on my checklist.

One of the positive things that came from the COVID pandemic is everyone turned back to the simple things in life. Things like family, friends and nature. Instead of rushing from task to task or event to event, the pandemic forced us to do only the basic things of life. In-turn we had a time of respite from our busy lives filled with unnecessary stress, activities and “stuff”. Instead of being bored or frazzled by life coming to a standstill I embraced the stillness. I had time for my hobbies, hanging out with friends and family and to just be motionless. Whether I was strumming one of my guitars or finding a new rhythm on the drum set, I had renewed focus without interruption. This kind of time is every musicians dream! Dinner with the entire family at the dining room table. We hadn’t done this since the last holiday. Now it became a staple. We had time to try new recipes and have great conversations with each other. Instead of staying up late Snap-chatting and texting friends, we could actually be with each other during the day. No sport practices or other after school activities. We spent time hiking, fishing, sitting at the park listening to or making music. It was like being in elementary school again. We renewed our friendships during this time together. The pandemic stopped our former lives and brought us back to what we now can appreciate as the simple pleasures of life, that were becoming distant memories.

I found my joy in music early in my life. In utero, I would kick in time to music that my mom was listening to. My mom joked “this baby is going to be a drummer”. A drummer leads the band with the tempo. So I might venture to say I was born to be a leader. At Calvary Chapel Christian School is where I found my joy in music singing in the school choir. At Bloomfield School, I had been selected to join all-county every year it was available to me. From 6th-10th grade I became more indulged in music, learning six main musical talents and improving in them all. I learned Bb tuba, bass guitar, aux percussion, drum-set, acoustic guitar, and continued my love for singing. I was accepted to my top choice school Houghton College. Their astonishing Greatbatch School of music program will help me pursue my music talents further into life. With the help of this scholarship, I can go from a soloist to a well-rounded musician with a greater depth of knowledge in music. Music is not only my passion but has also been great therapy for me since my Traumatic Brain Injury. Playing music helps me to calm myself and has helped me to train my brain back to its full potential. I had made some poor choices in my life several years ago, my parents stood with me and did what they could to help me get back onto the straight and narrow. Neil Young is one of the artists my dad likes. Once I read the lyrics, I knew that the song “Old Man" was the one to sing to thank my dad. His desire for me to succeed and follow his teachings is reflected in Mr. Young’s words. The words are prophetic because my dad desires for me to be all that I can be and overcome past transgressions just like he did. I would practice when dad was not home, I wanted the first time he heard me sing “Old Man” to be without blemish. The night I sang it for him in our living room, brought tears to his eyes. The hug he gave me after is a moment that I will never forget. Music has also implemented me to be a leader. I started out being a little kid being excited to be on the worship platform playing bass guitar. I now am a leader of a worship team at church. Not only do I get to organize and lead others. I can use my God-given talent to praise him and help the congregation to do the same thing. At Houghton College, I am in two different worship bands. One has great leadership and the other one I am helping the leader become a better leader. In the group where the leadership is not strong, I find myself giving suggestions in a non-aggressive way. I want to help the person become a stronger leader, one that others desire to follow. With my degree in hand, I will be still involved with a church. It may be on the worship team or working the soundboard and lights or maybe I will find myself working in the mission field. Each Day I am reminded because I never gave up while I was recovering from my TBI or with practicing my instrument I have became a stronger leader and a better person.

An unlikely artist for an eighteen-year-old to like is Bob Marley, a Reggae artist that has influenced me to try new music. The rhythm of his music relaxes you and makes you become mindful of your thoughts. Then his song lyrics grab you and spiral you into a hidden depth of your life. I can't always explain what I am thinking to others, but my thoughts have a depth that I share with those that I trust. .

What have I learned from living daily with a TBI? Being the world to my dog is sometimes the easiest part of my life. Maggie Pi, my dog, is happy just being near me and having me pet her. When I was first recovering from my traumatic brain injury (TBI), Maggie was by my side. May 9, 2019, my life was on autopilot. Each day I would get up, go to school, hang out with friends and do homework. Sundays I would go to church and play with the worship team. The day I crashed on my skateboard my perspective and plans changed. I have gotten back on my board; I now wear a helmet and do enjoy skateboarding as much as I did before “the fall”. I do limit big risks unlike before my calamity. What do I live with each day post TBI? Keeping thoughts in order and implementing an action plan, remember the order that I decided. Starting a project to get interrupted and not being able to recollect what step was next. Having a conversation and losing the ability to choose the right words. The fear of hitting my head again and having another brain bleed is at the forefront of almost every decision I make. Should I hike down this steep rocky trail? Will I fall? I dropped something on the floor, and it rolled under the table. Is anyone looking as I hold one hand on my head? On the possibility I do not clear the table as I get up off the floor. My friend is innocently swinging a coat as they walk next to me. I have thoughts of what is in the pockets. Is it something hard? What if I get too close and I get hit? Things as simple as ducking through tall doorways for fear of clipping the top of my head, even though I could not wish to be that tall. How have I made a new normal for my life? I used music to heal after my accident. I did not lose my skills but having to remember how to place my fingers on strings, holding drumsticks, pressing valves or moving my feet on pedals took retraining of what before were effortless thoughts and movements. This retraining of my brain for music helped me with school. What good things have come to light with my life altering injury? I have learned that I need to speak openly about my feelings. Telling people, I am frustrated and need time to regroup. Not taking for granted the unconditional love my parents have for me. Understanding the limitations that people with more chronic or life-threatening conditions than myself work through each day, my life seems not so difficult. College has been a place to grow as a person and a musician. This scholarship would give me less stress about paying for school and I would be able to fully focus on my work. The former me is still inside, stuck not able to break through this invisible wall that has put my life on pause. I have days when the world is open, and nothing can stop me. I have days of being in a pit, drowning in my own thoughts of regrets of the accident that really did change my life forever. Each day I pray that the former me can come back, I miss that person very much. Until then I try to be the best me for the moment of time I am undergoing now.