I have developed a passion for poetry because it has been my anchor bringing me back from dark mental places. As a child, even sometimes now, I feel like my anxiety and anger can get the best of me. Sometimes, I feel like a baking soda volcano: ready to erupt with one small push. Like many other people, my time in COVID isolation contributed heavily to a poor mental state. I was constantly anxious and was losing sleep over my anxiety. I had super low self-esteem, poor stress management, and emotional outbursts. It wasn't until after I found a therapist my freshman year of high school that my self image started to change. My therapist originally specialized in art therapy and in our early sessions she would discuss how self expression can help self-esteem and self-efficacy. As a practice outside of my sessions, I would turn to writing poetry to help with my overwhelming thoughts. Being able to write my frustrations out on paper and turn it into melodic poems felt like the best stress relief possible. In my sophomore year, I took the initiative to join my school's poetry club and every week I would write poems with a group of students. Poetry club has been a safe place for me to express myself and learn to create an art that I am proud of. Writing poetry has helped ground me and allowed me to center myself in the principles of letting things be. Poetry has also helped me make sense of an ever changing country and world; it has helped me understand the stressful, confusing present. Most importantly, poetry has given me the gift of a creative outlet and an outlet for my emotions. When I go to my college in the fall, I plan on studying English as one of my majors. Even though I plan to explore creative prose writing and journalism while I am in college, I plan to continue to write my poems and hopefully find a new community of writers. I want to continue to have my best friend, poetry, with me while I am entering a new stage of life. Poetry can truly be found everywhere--I'm a firm believer in the idea that anything can be a poem. Poetry is so diverse and it's a bit of a naughty form of writing because the rules are very indirect. Songs, sonnets, haiku, or whatever the form is, I can guarantee I have been moved by the works of a poet. Poets ranging from Sandra Cisneros to Emily Dickinson to Patti Smith, even to Taylor Swift have inspired me one way or another. No matter where inspire stems, poetry has the power to inspire and transform. Poetry has enhanced my life by giving me a place to feel emotion and process the roller coaster of adolescence.

It's hard being a ten year old and not knowing why I feel a pit in my stomach every time I would play in one of my softball games. It's even harder not knowing why I felt a tightness in my throat, tears welling up in my eyes while I watched the softball game from the outfield. The worst part is when I would strike out and I felt like the sky was closing in on me. As a result, my anger burst out of me like a loaded gun with no safety on. I'd yell out angrily at the pitcher or the world because I was a ten year old loaded gun that needs to "watch her temper" and should not be playing sports--my coaches were done with trying to tame your tumultuous outbursts. Since I lost my temper in sports, my school recommended that I go to therapy, which was not a good passage into the therapy experience. I felt like I was being punished, and not like the school cared about my well being. My first therapist, Dr. T, was very formal and wanted to talk about how things made me feel. Every chat I had with Dr.T felt awfully formulaic and impersonal. I felt like an issue and not a person which made me loathe therapy. I figured out through Dr.T that I had anxiety which contributed to the "anger issues." However, sitting on the couch in Dr. T's office felt as therapeutic as a visit to the principal's office would to a delinquent child. I quit therapy during COVID because my therapist wasn't offering online sessions. Like many other people, my time in isolation contributed heavily to a poor mental state. I was constantly anxious and was losing sleep over my anxiety. I had super low self-esteem, poor stress management, and emotional outbursts. It wasn't until after I found my new therapist my freshman year of high school that my self image started to change. My therapist originally specialized in art therapy and in our early sessions she would discuss how self expression can help self-esteem and self-efficacy. As a practice outside of my sessions, I would turn to writing poetry to help with my overwhelming thoughts. Being able to write my frustrations out on paper and turn it into melodic poems felt like the best stress relief possible. When my pen hit the paper of a notebook, my thoughts were shifted into my work. I thought about expressing my feelings, memories, and stress into something that can be enjoyed by others. In my sophomore year, I took the initiative to join my school's poetry club and every week I would write poems with a group of students. Poetry club has been a safe place for me to express myself and learn to create an art that I am proud of. Writing poetry has helped ground me and center myself in the principles of humanistic therapy by allowing myself unconditional positive regard. Poetry has also helped me make sense of an ever changing country and world; it has helped me understand the stressful, confusing present. The work that I have submitted is a collection of poems that I have written while under periods of immense stress, frustration, and grief. They were written as a way for me to try and understand the confusing political society in which we live, but also to make sense of my emotions. These poems were a way to let out the anger, sadness, and anxiety to turn it into something productive that I could share with my community.