My mother and father have been two significant main characters in my life; they are the combining forces that influenced my evolving character of Elena Abdur-Rashid. I obtained my kind-hearted and giving spirit from my mother along with her independent and determined "I-can-do-it-myself" personality. She taught me that my mind is my greatest obstacle and never surrender to what could have been, always strive for what has yet to come. On my father's side, I embody his quizzical, skeptical, and curious mind. He encouraged my questioning of the dysfunction and legitimacy of general society, social constructs, and so-called "stressors." It was difficult to comprehend why each day felt narrated by a constant presence whispering, "You are on a journey to obtain the rest of your life." Adults would ask the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Which always conjured an intense feeling of uncertainty and weighted my shoulders with invisible pressure. I felt like one of the few people who were unconsumed by society's normalized chaotic and competitive nature. I am currently studying the art of stage production at Columbia College Chicago. I have the academic goal of earning a bachelor's art degree in Theatre with a concentration in Playwriting. Attaining this degree will encourage me to push the boundaries of what a live production can offer its audience, not just to watch a story unfold but for one to see themselves playing the role of a character. My career goal is to become a renowned playwriter that showcases the egoic mind and its delusional thought patterns. The side effect is to award the audience an understanding that they can obtain anything they truly want by overcoming the pain body, deep-rooted fears, and aligning with the universe's purpose; to awaken humanity from its mind-made delusion. The scripts I am developing will expose the insanity of the human mind by portraying how humanity is stuck in a fictional world we call 'society.' Each performance aims to spread awareness of what it means to live as one's true self. Each scene will serve as a comical and dramatic undertone to the ego's need for validation and spark the uphill climb to spiritual freedom and self-actualization. Audience members can resonate with familiar styles of dialogue, tone of voice, moments of unresolved pain, and unnecessary mind-induced suffering. The play will expose the ego's need to exist in a trance of "me vs. them," when life is what we create with the power of thought, action, or lack thereof. My overall purpose with developing this stage performance is to capture the general progression of compulsive thoughts, like how simple discussions turn into raging arguments, how a compliment can translate into an insult, or how one's childhood plays a significant role in a person's eventual development. I am deeply disturbed and concerned for the future of humanity, and I am not willing to accept that change is impossible. Real change begins within; by recognizing the false self and allowing self-inquiry to understand the profound dissatisfaction of the "I."

My mother and father have been two significant main characters in my life. My mom ingrained in my mind to never rely on anyone for anything that I can obtain for myself, but not forget that I can ask for help and accept offered assistance. I embody my mother's kind-hearted spirit and determination to move forward and keep faith even when my mind tries to convince me that failure is the only outcome. Her words of wisdom for the relationships I will have in the future were to guard my heart against compulsive infatuation and never give up more than I receive, whether friend or romantic partner. From my father, I gained his skeptical and curious mind. He taught me to question everything and trust no one until they prove themselves through action. I should not accept any information as the truth; I have to understand and define what exists for myself. When someone speaks, the words they spew are only sound without effort to confirm its solidity. My father's advice for life was never to let myself get in the way of reaching my highest potential, even to go beyond that. The key to success is staying true to who I am and what I stand for without ever apologizing for it. I am my most considerable influence because I am responsible for my choices, the thoughts I allow my reality to create, and the amount of time and practice I contribute towards my passion and goals. I am constantly functioning in a state of persistent self-improvement; I approach each day as a chance to grow, learn, and experience more than the previous. I am also aware that the energy I put into this universe will revisit me in the future, thus discovering that the greatest fulfillment is being a powerhouse of positivity for others to absorb. The innovation I am dedicated to will push the boundaries of what a live production can offer its audience; not to watch a story unfold but to see themselves playing the role of a character. I am developing scripts that will enlighten its viewers to the insanity of the human mind. The production will portray a fictional world called 'society,' and its characters will project automated assumptions created by the mind. The impact of the live presentation will likely spread awareness of what it means to live as one's true self. It will serve as a comical and dramatic undertone to the awakening of spiritual freedom and self-actualization. My concern for humanity's well-being and sense of responsibility to be a catalyst for change drives my artistic gift. The purpose of each scene is for audience members to resonate with familiar dialogue, tone of voice, moments of unresolved pain, and unnecessary self-induced suffering caused by the mind. The play will reveal the ego's great need to live in a trance of "me vs. them," when the fact is we live under the same roof of the universe with a personalized purpose for why we are alive. The only thing stopping us from reaching our full potential is the mind itself.

Everything in this life is an art form, whether accounting, debating, gardening, teaching, etc., everyone is an artist deep down. To be an artist means having the burning passion for creating something, whether that person is or is not yet aware of their destiny to produce. As an artist, I have struggled to claim my unique artistic abilities by invalidating my art style and praising those who create what I wished I could have. I was not sure if I knew how to paint, draw, or write. I just knew I wanted to make something out of the materials at hand. What inspired me to paint was the need to have a creative outlet to release unresolved emotion and finally realizing there is more to life than binge-watching and dead-end jobs. In the first week, I practiced understanding how to generate different brush strokes and color combinations on professional acyclic paper. A few days later, I purchased my first bundle of canvases. I remember feeling like a true artist as if I knew I was supposed to be painting all along after years of downplaying my artistic talents. I was driven by the captivating trance of timelessness, a sense of tranquility, the loss of ego, and the strong feeling of accomplishment after completing a painting. After painting every day for two to three weeks, I noticed a reoccurring theme in each abstract painting that only I could interpret; red and orange represented anger or constraint, green was symbolic for new future beginnings, blue usually meant sadness, and yellow represented excitement or caution. My mind constructed disturbing images of suppressed emotional pain that triggered the realization of what was causing my daily suffering during that period of time. Mind you, when I paint, I try my best to let go of any expectation of a result, I let my mind run empty, and my instinct takes flight. I choose the first brush and color my mind screams at, or hands jump to and let my emotions paint the blank space provided. I was truly heartbroken yet relieved to know I let myself hurt to such an extreme level but with purpose. The emotional turmoil became the creative inspiration for positive change for my health and wellbeing and provided specific depictions of what to work on within myself. With my experience of art as a self-reflective therapy, I plan to educate myself and others on the life-changing benefits of painting. I envision myself sitting down one-to-one or with a small group of young or older men and women who have struggled with understanding why they feel the way they do. My goal for each person is that they leave with a better understanding of who they are, art to remind them of who they are not, and a day-to-day routine plan they will create themselves to follow in an effort to make positive, gradual change. I truly believe that painting with one's instinct rather than mind will reveal shocking and relevant information about a person's life situations and their own capabilities of being an artist.