50th. That's where West Virginia ranks in education. 50th place. The least educated state. Montani Semper Liberi... sed indocti. I'm a born and raised Mountaineer myself. Anyone from here knows the saying is true -- West Virginia really is almost heaven. Rolling hills, sprawling fields, the highest mountains seen from the lowest valleys, pepperoni rolls, moth man, backroad drives, holler living, Tudor's/Gino's lunches, late night Sheetz meets, hospitality that even the most southern of states can't hold a candle to... the list goes on. My home is everything to me and I feel an inexplicable connection to these mountains like no other... but that one thing we're missing eats me alive. How did we get so uneducated? I understand the history that set us so behind our brother and sisters in other states. We had been a pretty isolated state for much of our birth and lagged behind in technological advancement as a result. We historically have been disadvantaged and continue to be, also leading the nation alongside other states in poverty, public health, teen birth rates, drug abuse and more... All of our woes come back to education. Our people have not been given access to the tools necessary to make better choices for our health and happiness. As a classroom aide in one of the better public education systems the state offers, I have seen a lot of concerning indicators of where our kids are in their journey. From dwindling test scores marking sub 10% proficiency in math and reading, to children unable to read words like democracy and representative... we are in a crisis. Obviously Appalachians know our Mountaineer esprit de corps and see the value of our small town way of life, but quality educators from other states are not incentivized to come to our state and young graduates here aren't incentivized to go into education due to stagnant outside investment into our state, dwindling wages, and a crippled education system told to "do less with more." Regardless of the challenges, I want to be a mathematics teacher. My experience as an aide has helped me find my calling. My state needs help and I need to be the one to fix it. I need to be the teacher that helps even just one kid finally have their "ah hah!" moment with numbers. I know one person alone cannot change a system that isn't functioning anymore, I know I can't fix the conditions outside my control that effect student outcomes, but I can do my best to meet our kids where they're at and give them the tools they need to see a better, brighter future, even if the effect is marginal. Cycles can only end when someone is daring enough to rise to the challenge. Lucky for West Virginia, I'm the right girl up for the job.

I want you to think back to a time when you had a teacher you just couldn't stand. What were they like? What did they do that left such a sour taste in your mouth? Were they polite, but had habits that just irked you, or were they truly mean? I can think of a handful of such teachers. One was my history teacher in my 7th grade year. This teacher can be described by one word: egotistical. He was extremely cocky, and seemed to take pleasure in picking on us small fries. He never picked on me, lucky for him, but it got under my skin hearing him make comments about my peers. Another teacher was my geometry teacher in 10th grade. Don't get me wrong, he was very kind and laid back... the problem was he was TOO laid back. I didn't learn a single lick of geometry, no exaggeration. The entire semester was spent playing on our phones and talking about the teacher's personal life... Needless to say, he was swiftly removed from the school by the following school year. Clearly, teachers like these can leave a lasting impression. It makes sense, seeing as these are the mentors you're supposed to look up to during your most formative years. I feel as if my examples are relatively tame, as I have heard of countless interactions where teachers seriously harm students via their words, such as expressing racist, homophobic, or transphobic rhetoric among many others. But, for every teacher like the ones I described above, there's 10 truly good hearted people who joined the education field for all the right reasons. There's some teachers who have profoundly changed my life and created debts I will never be able to repay. The first who comes to mind is Señora Rosario, my high school Spanish teacher. I had a lot of problems at home during my time in her class and it made me very unapproachable, volatile, and emotional. I experienced a bout of suicidal ideation and felt very alone. Señora Rosario didn't match my anger, however. She offered me kindness, patience, understanding, and more importantly, help. She advocated for me when I couldn't find the words to advocate for myself. She took the time to understand me instead of return my ire tenfold. I would be remiss to not mention Ms. Ruppert. She was my English teacher for OVER 3/4ths of my high school career. She was just the best, she challenged me and pushed me in ways that shaped me into the young adult I am today. She lifted me up when I needed encouragement to keep going and she always helped me learn to see nuance in all situations. She equipped me with the tools I need to always question and challenge what I know and things I'm told. I have a fire in me to be a Señora Rosario or a Ms. Ruppert. Education is my calling, I want to be a math teacher. I want to be the person who helps a kid stop hating and fearing math. Above all else, I want to be the teacher that students look back on when writing essays like these. I need to know that no matter what these kids have going on, they know they have someone in their court who will offer them love, support, and a safe place without fear of hate or judgement. I want to build the confidence of the next generation, and remind them that even when things seem bleak, there is always someone in their court to cheer them on.

I'm going to be blunt, I'm not unique. I'm just one in eight million first generation undergrad students. I'm just one in 14 million LGBTQ+ people in the US. I read romance books that go viral on TikTok and listen to Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter because they're easy listening. I'm... simple. Not execrable, but ordinary. My story is like many other people. I felt discouraged and unsupported by my dad, both in my educational endeavors and sexuality, and made the choice to leave and go no contact, even though it's made my life much more difficult. The consequence of this choice has been sleeping on a floor mattress at my loving grandma's house, all of my belongings collecting dust in boxes and a storage unit. I spent 24 years trying to appease someone I was never going to be good enough for. I spent 15 of those years hating myself, terrified my female friends would view me abhorrently if they knew I liked girls. I spent 6 of those years working jobs I'd never be happy in just to please my dad, neglecting the education journey I needed to take so I could really begin my life. I spent 1 of those years laying the ground work to build something by me, for me, by taking a leap of faith that's hard now, but will pay off later. Against all discouragement, I took a job as a classroom aide at the same high school I graduated from, with all the same teachers and admin who mentored me a short 6 years ago. It's been a learning experience, with many mistakes, but also many successes. This year has been transformative. I finally found my calling. From the first time a student came to me to celebrate their accomplishments and thank me for encouraging them, I knew I need to be a teacher. I knew I need to be the person that makes sure no kid ever felt isolated or disgusted in their own skin. I need to be the classroom a kid can walk into and release the tension they've held in their shoulders and feel safe. I need to be the teacher kids think back on and remember as the first person who showed them unconditional love and support. I'm ordinary, but I'm hungry. There's this small spark inside me that's growing into a blaze. There's a fire burning inside me to right the injustices I've felt. This fire burns from everyone who has told me I can't do it. This fire burns from every dead-end job I've taken to make someone else happy. This fire burns from every set back, misstep, and stumble I've faced on the path to revelation. This fire burns for every kid like me who cried thinking they were going to hell for who they love. This fire burns for every sleepless night I prayed to the God I was told would 'fix' me. This fire burns so that one day, no one else will have to feel the burning of flesh and bone from the flames.

In my youth, I always had thought about the possibility of pursing a degree in mathematics education, but I experienced a great deal of anxiety and discouragement with this notion. I unfortunately come from a family where education is not valued, so I experienced a lot of dissuasion when I attempted to study right outside of high school. The love I've fostered for teaching came to me during my 9th grade year. My algebra 1 class did not have a teacher, but instead a long term substitute who was unfortunately only skilled in carpentry mathematics. As such, with the blessing of our substitute and administration, I took the teachers manual and taught myself the lessons, of which I in turn taught my peers the basics of algebra for about two months until our class received a permanent teacher. My efforts were rewarded with school wide praise and a free class ring provided by Jostens. Upon working for the last six years, I found a great deal of confidence in myself and a hunger for something... more. I didn't want to be stuck at a job that didn't light me on fire. Retail was strenuous, office work was mentally taxing, and food service was a nightmare for my contamination OCD. After months of searching, I landed a special education classroom aide position within the high school I graduated from, and it has completely changed my life. My previous teachers and admin have urged me to finally dive headfirst into the dream I allowed myself to be talked out of. Having the opportunity to work first hand in the education system, I know this is my calling. I'm choosing to pursue mathematics with a focus on education because I need to know I can make a difference with this small life of mine, even if it's just one student. The impact I've made just by hosting my school's E-Sports club has fueled an insatiable need to do more, be more, and give more. I want to be the one to inspire passion for mathematics and STEM, and be the point of origination when student looks back one day to answer this same question. With your support, I can run head first into this endeavor and help be the reason our future continues to innovate, inspire, and create. With your support, you can rest knowing you uplifted someone with dreams and aspirations of leading our youth into the future. With your support, you can help a small town girl remember everything works out with a little patience, prayer, and time.