One Friday afternoon, I dragged myself up the hill to my house. I thought about the rest of my day, the same routine as always: do homework, practice French horn, go to swim practice, take a shower, study for tests, and sleep. My daily routine had once seemed ideal: I simply powered through my activities with sheer discipline and persistence. I used all my inward strength to become this perfect, versatile person who was never burdened by his busy schedule.
However, the more I committed myself to this routine, the more I felt disconnected from myself: I was on autopilot and my inner core was lost somewhere. Then it struck me: did my inward strength really make me strong?
Later that evening, I was yawning over my math textbook when my mom entered.
“Ebeshaye, you need to get some rest. You need a break, so we’ll have a yoga flow class tomorrow.”
I assumed the class would be like my activities: the goal would be to simply learn and practice the poses. Yet, the class proved to be much more fruitful. As I meditated, I became more aware of my breath, and the silence that enveloped me opened my mind. In one moment, I was kayaking in the Grand Canyon, sunlight splashing on my face. In another, I was climbing the Eiffel Tower, captivated by the panoramic view of Paris.
This feels like paradise… I’ve never felt so relaxed: I love this.
The following week, I read a newsletter entitled What are Students saying about their mental health? I wasn’t surprised to find that many students reported mental issues related to demanding coursework and personal commitments. Realizing that I wasn’t alone, I began to think.
If I feel glued to this endless cycle of hard work, maybe other people feel something similar. But, maybe I can address this issue… maybe by creating a club for it? Yes, I can try… I’ll try that.
Little did I know, though, that my endeavor would pave the road to discovering a new, more promising type of strength.
I co-founded the Mental Illness Matters Club dedicated to fostering community among people struggling with mental health issues. During our first meeting, we shared our coping methods. Although hesitant, I started the discussion by sharing with everyone how yoga helped alleviate my long-term stress with school and work.
When I finished, I became engrossed in the stories that unfolded.
“I’ve struggled with anxiety, so I love to do oil paintings of my cat in my garden,” offered one girl.
“As a bipolar person, a nice Chopin Nocturne goes well with Taylor Swift’s Cruel Summer,” remarked another girl.
As the stories continued, our smiles evoked soothing vibes that permeated the room. At that moment, I felt like a pebble that had sent a ripple through a pond.
Wow, these stories are so relatable. I can just feel this sense of empathy and belonging; I really have to continue expanding this club.
In subsequent meetings, I hosted personal journal sessions and ‘letters to psychiatric teens' workshops. We became immersed in our writings, crafting compassionate creative letters: we were dedicated to spreading love and joy throughout our community. By the end of the year, we had grown into a closely-knit family that will only continue to blossom this year.
Today, I’ve found a profound sense of vitality rooted in my openness and leadership. My enthusiasm has inspired me to continue bringing change to my community by becoming a certified yoga instructor. I’ve cultivated an outward, more fulfilling kind of strength based on emotional resilience, courage, and thoughtfulness. While my diligence undeniably contributed to my success, my newfound mental fortitude has provided a sense of meaning and purpose to my life. It has led me to my new role as a student leader and a mental health advocate who will continue to mature and serve others in college and beyond.
Community cohesion is a success for my emotional and leadership growth. Using this scholarship, I'll continue striving to use my creativity and perseverance to foster true learning communities –all united in their goal to help us all reach our full learning potential.