My mother was raised in San Diego, California and lived in one of the most gang, drug, and violence-ridden communities in the city. She lived in government-aided housing with 7 of her brothers and sisters. At a young age, my mother experienced several traumas that no child should ever experience. She met my father and had me at 15 years old. At this time my mom had no support from her family and was left with a man and his family who treated her just as poorly. My paternal grandmother told my mother to get an abortion and if she chose to keep the baby my father would have no responsibilities whatsoever.
My mom says I was the blessing she needed to survive. The first few years of my life, we lived at their house, however, my parents were not together. We slept outside on a mattress, surrounded by my grandmother's hoard. Even as a child, I saw the struggle my mom went through. My mother and I would walk or take buses to go to the park or stores till it was bedtime just to avoid being around that house and those people. My mom would go back and get her high school GED and I remember the pride in her eyes. I remember one day my mom made me a promise to give me a life better than this.
She had gone to the local Jack n Box and begged the lady to give her a job and from this moment I started to understand what being driven looks like. My amazing mom would wake up early hours of the morning, walk to the bus stop, ride for 40-50 minutes to the daycare center, go to community college classes, afterward walk back to the daycare, pick me up, get back on the bus to go to the Jack n Box, work her shift while I sit in the sitting area, get off and go to the bus, carry me back to the house, and repeat seven days of the week. All while doing this she was paying rent to my paternal grandmother. She charged my mother rent for sleeping on a mattress in the backyard surrounded by loads of trash as my father was off, involved in gangs and never around me.
As a child I couldn't express the hurt I saw my mother going through but now I can. It was disgusting. Disgusting to see everyone knowing how hard she was working and taking consistent blow after blow. But also it was inspiring. Inspiring to see such a young woman persevere through all the trials and tribulations. My mom and I had our little secret. A Bible. A Bible with money stashed away, we would hide it in the mattress and my mom swore that this money was going to get us out.
Fast forward a couple of years later we are far away in an amazing home now and she is a college graduate with a master's degree. She is the first to go to college and graduate from her family going back multiple generations. My experience does not make me pity myself but strengthens me. I have learned to be compassionate, patient, grateful, and most importantly forgiving. I have the drive to be great just like my mother, I am striving for a Ph.D. and will make all the sacrifices worthwhile. I look at the world differently, I see the pain and the blessings. I owe my way of thinking and life all to her and her alone. I am my mother's daughter.