All my life, I struggled with who I am. In school I felt invisible, I wasn’t athletic, I couldn’t stick to a hobby nor did I have a “passion” for anything. I have always excelled academically, but I never knew my niche. Throughout childhood, my Grandpa suffered from multiple strokes. His first stroke occurred when I was six years old, and it permanently paralyzed the right side of his body. The moment I was able to see him in recovery, my first instinct was to place a Disney princess bandaid on his now paralyzed leg. He gave me a crooked smile, took me in his arms and warmly uttered, “You are my nurse.” His words deposited in my heart and made itself at home. Five years later, he had another stroke that worsened his paralysis, and gave him aphasia which affected his ability to speak. I was now eleven, and my family and I were devastated at his regression. My heart broke at the sight of my grandpa who was once full of life, who spent everyday fixing things around the house, who preached every Sunday ,was now bound to a wheelchair and disabled. But one thing my grandpa taught me was to always have faith and understand that this is all temporary, so in due time, serve others, love one another, and do the right thing. My heart yearned to help him and others in need of healing, so that’s what I did. With zeal, I gave him his medicine, checked his vitals with my nursing supplies kit I got for Christmas, changed his clothes, and kept him company whenever my grandma was working 12 hour shifts at the hospital. I took my interest further and began doing research on his health conditions which led me to discern my growing passion for nursing. This became a part of our daily morning routine, and it felt so natural and endearing to me. Just as he did when I was six, he gave me a crooked smile, pulled me onto his lap and proudly exclaimed to the rest of my family with a slurred yet strong voice, “She is my nurse!” Those words that deposited in my heart at six years old came leaping to the surface and made me realize—this is my passion… I am meant to be a nurse. It is in my nature to serve others; it makes my heart full. Now that I know my purpose, I will walk in my calling through nursing. I am a junior nursing student at Kennesaw State University, and I aspire to obtain my DNP to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. I hope to contribute to my community by not only taking care of my patients, but also working on the administrative side down the line to positively impact the healthcare field by using my platform to dismantle the corrupt, harmful ethics rooted within the system and build up healthy, integrous morals to repair the damage that has occurred to both patients and nurses. I have been through many different phases and inconsistent changes in my life, but the one thing that has never changed is my assignment on this earth, which is to give others hope through healing them and sharing the good news that they are here for a purpose. My grandpa lived a life full of love for others and left a beautiful mark on this earth. As I pursue my journey to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, I will carry the lessons, love, and compassion he placed in my heart and strive to keep his legacy alive.

It is important to live a healthy life because my body works hard to keep me alive and well. To return that care, I prioritize nourishing my mind, body, and soul. For the majority of my life, I lived an unhealthy lifestyle. There was a point in my early teen years when I fell into clinical depression, anxiety, and panic disorder because of the stress and trauma I experienced. I rapidly became obese, and my mental health was at an all-time low. Once I noticed the physical and mental change in my body, I restricted myself from certain foods, went on fad diets, and could not muster up the desire to workout. My struggle with body image consumed my life and the negative comments certain family members made on my body made me worse. Looking back on that dark season of life, I feel for 15-year-old Dreanna who felt the need to deprive herself of freedom and happiness due to an unhealthy mindset. Little by little, with the help of my active, inspirational mother, I gained a healthy lifestyle by watching her have a passion for exercise and health. On Youtube, I would watch “Realistic What I Eat In a Day” videos and simple workout videos to follow. My mom and I got into a routine of doing dance workouts together that entailed simple, fun choreography. Over time, my mental health improved and I lost a healthy amount of weight by being more active and implementing portion control. With that being said, I continued to receive negative remarks about my body from some family members now stating how I'm “too skinny” and “need to eat more”. Being criticized from both ends of the spectrum made me feel like there was nothing I can do to be good enough. I remember crying in my mother’s arms expressing the insecurity those comments caused me and she stated, “You shouldn't take criticism from people who are giving it from inside their comfort zone.” Those words echoed louder than the negativity and gave me the strength me to stay steadfast in my health journey. Now, I consistently do a workout called “12-3-30”, which is walking on the treadmill at a 12 percent incline at 3 mph for 30 minutes. I listen to the most upbeat songs and feel ready to conquer the world when I finish! In addition, I attend therapy every week to maintain a balanced mind and a clear head. I no longer have clinical depression and I am able to control my anxiety. Therapy has helped me understand how others and I work, and it gives me the proper tools to navigate life’s trials and tribulations in the healthiest way possible. In terms of diet, I am proud to say that today, my relationship with food is the healthiest it has ever been since I learned that FOOD=FUEL. I went from restricting myself from “bad foods” to eating what I desire in moderation and being intuitive with my body. After every meal, I check in with myself to see how I feel and I learn more about which food gives me energy and what drains me. Overall, I learned that healing is not linear; there will be days when I feel unhealthy and unmotivated. As long as I give myself grace and try to do better for myself, that is what’s important. I am grateful for the experiences my body has saved and protected me in, and I will continue to learn to fully love myself by giving my body the best care I can give it.

My grandfather, known to me as PaPa, was my best friend, father figure, and role model. The phenomenal childhood he provided me comprised of countless walks in the park, bedtime prayers, and muffling my sobs into his chest while he comforted me. However, he suffered from diabetes, multiple strokes that paralyzed him, and COVID- the illness that took his life. Throughout my childhood, I was not aware of how severe his sickness was, because in my seven-year-old mind, PaPa was a healer. Nevertheless, his sickness became more apparent to me as life ran its course. I remember having family breakfast and abruptly placing my fork on my plate filled with scrambled eggs and proudly proclaiming, “PaPa, once I’m old enough, I’m going to heal you!” Followed by a crooked smile, he took me in his arms and warmly uttered, “You are my nurse.” At 13 years old, I was finally crowned “PaPa’s nurse”! I diligently gave him his medicine, checked his vitals, changed his clothes, and kept him company. As time went on, I took a step further in my role of “PaPa’s nurse”, and eagerly researched different health conditions which led me to discern my growing passion for becoming a nurse. The more I deepened my knowledge of health, the more I found my heart in nursing. “Blood sugar levels must be between 70-130 mg/dl before meals. To reduce hypertension, limit sodium intake…” All the rules and medical terms I learned replayed in my head almost as much as “Say So” by Doja Cat. And whether it was interrupting his daily Animal Planet show to recite those rules to him or checking his blood pressure one too many times, the thought of him leaving me forever consumed me. On August 11, 2020, my family and I said our goodbyes as my PaPa took his last breath. Besides the unbearable pain I endured when he took his last breath, I felt every ounce of empathy, gratitude, and compassion PaPa left for me to keep. My PaPa’s passing was something I did not want but gave me the epiphany I needed. It was the experience that revealed I am destined to carry his legacy by being a nurse for others. Immediately, I became a caretaker for my gravely sick mother who was also in the ICU with my PaPa, and a shoulder to cry on for my mourning grandmother. Portraying the traits of a nurse taught me to be prepared, persevering, and face issues head-on while embracing the pain that may come with it. I lost my grandpa, but I found a part of who I’m meant to be, which is a future Nurse Practitioner. To take the next steps in fulfilling my desire to help others, I am currently an incoming sophomore at Kennesaw State University pursuing my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I am a member of the American Medical Women’s Association, and the marketing officer of the Human Services Club where our mission is to promote growth, health, and advocacy. By focusing on these responsibilities, I know that I am following in my PaPa’s footsteps. My PaPa lived a life full of empathy for others and left a beautiful mark on this earth. As I pursue my journey to becoming a Nurse Practitioner, I will carry the lessons, love, and compassion my PaPa placed in my heart and use them to be an altruistic soul who is a healer to the world.

My grandfather, known to me as PaPa, was my best friend, father figure, and role model. However, he had diabetes, multiple strokes that paralyzed him, and COVID-- the illness that robbed him from me. To make up for the tender care my grandfather provided me, I gladly returned the favor by taking care of him. As time went on, I became so invested in his health that I neglected the decline of my mental health. The more I took care of him, the more anxiety I gained over his condition. I simultaneously discerned my desire to become a Nurse Practitioner and my clinical diagnoses of anxiety & panic disorder. Whether it was interrupting his daily Animal Planet to check his blood oxygen or have restless nights filled with “what if” scenarios, I was consumed by the thought of my grandpa leaving me forever. My PaPa’s passing taught me a lesson I would never have imagined. Instead of my anxiety performing its daily attack, it ignited a voice of strength in me. Being highly worried for my family, I became the woman of the house for my gravely sick mother in the ICU, a shoulder to cry on for my mourning grandmother, and a caretaker for my bedridden stepfather. A moment where I expected to be at my weakest, I was actually at my strongest; That’s what anxiety is for me--strength. I realized my anxiety-filled hypotheticals and “what if” scenarios have been preparing me for these moments since 13. Ultimately, my grandpa’s passing taught me to not see my mental health as a weakness to loathe, but a strength to love. I also developed into facing my issues head-on while embracing the painful situations that may come with it. I will carry every valuable lesson I have learned on my mental health journey, and apply it so I can be a mental health advocate and Nurse Practitioner who teaches people from different walks of life that they are not alone. Everyone on this earth deserves to heal from their struggles, and I will use my voice to help make that happen.

July 21st, 2020 is the day when my life and family were ransacked and terrorized by COVID-19. It all started with my mom receiving a call from my grandmother who stated she was coming down with a cold. Because of all the news coverage regarding the virus, I could not help but wonder if she was infected. I asked my grandma if she believed it was Covid and she chuckled muttering, “No way”. My gut, however, was telling me otherwise. My grandma is a nurse and interacted with sick patients daily, so my household couldn’t help but think there was a possibility she contracted the virus while at work. She went on to explain that her employer requires the staff to take weekly COVID-19 tests, and her results were negative. It has to be a cold right? I still didn’t trust it. Reluctantly taking her word for it, my mom suggested my grandma goes to the hospital if she begins to feel worse. Later that evening, my grandmother called and asked if we could bring my disabled grandpa to our house as she battled this “cold”. Being hesitant, we slightly protested. My mom blurted, “What if you have COVID? Now Dad has it and it will spread to my household!” “Your dad isn’t sick,” my grandma spat out, “He’s fine. I just don’t want him to catch my cold since he already has a compromised immune system”. My conflicted mom let out a sigh and agreed to pick up my grandpa the next day. Worry consumed me as the thought of my possibly exposed grandpa coming over became settled in my mind. However, this was for family, so we felt obligated. My grandfather stayed with us for 4 days before he was rushed to the ER because of his weakness and constant coughing/wheezing. Later that evening, we received a call from the hospital breaking the news that he and my grandma tested positive. I never would have thought that my final time seeing him active and alive would be while COVID was active in his system. My heart accelerated like a car in the Indy-500. My organs churned and felt like they were shutting down. Blood rushed to my ears exposing my distress and my heartbeat was the only song pounding in my head. My hoarse screams became more intense yet silent after one another and the frigid floor met with the right side of my face. I couldn’t believe it. Over the next two days, my mom, step-dad, and I became very ill. Fortunately, the two of us were able to recover at home. My mother, on the other hand, was in grave condition. After refusing to go to the hospital for the first few days, she caved in and begged to go as she felt herself dying. The pain that surged through my heart from watching my mom painfully suffer was the closest I've felt to experiencing a slow, torturous death. While in the hospital, she and the doctors were confident that her last days of life would be spent there. That’s when reality disrespectfully slapped me and screamed “Wake up”! Instead of letting COVID defeat me, it ignited a voice of strength in me. I had my battle with COVID as well, yet I wasn’t worried about myself; I was worried about my nearly lifeless mother. I stepped up to become the woman of the house in place of my mom, a shoulder to cry on for my mourning grandmother, and a caretaker for my bedridden stepfather. A moment where I expected to be at my weakest, I was actually at my strongest; That’s what COVID taught me to be-- strong. The physical and mental pain that my family and I went through was unspeakable. Covid relentlessly attacked our heart, brain, kidneys, and lungs. It shredded my grandpa’s lungs and sent him into complete respiratory failure. Each breath I took felt like shards of glass ripping through me, and the imaginary 500 lb weight sitting on my chest left me constantly gasping for air. I also lost my sense of smell, taste, and kept fainting which were just a few of the symptoms COVID gave me. My stepdad couldn’t get out of bed without vomiting; my mom almost went into heart failure 3 times and doctors relied on medication to keep her heart pumping. In addition, we all developed pneumonia. Although none of us had pre-existing conditions, we were almost wiped out completely. Thankfully, my family and I (not including my grandpa, sadly) have recovered since and are home. However, COVID has left its mark by leaving us with a plethora of side effects such as vertigo, chest pain, asthma, trauma, and more. Despite the pain and suffering I endured, I learned the following lessons: The pain you go through builds your strength and character. We must not take our lives & loved ones for granted. Life is a precious gift and we need to treat every second like it has infinite value because it does. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and say no, especially when others are at risk. Regardless of how dark things may seem, you can always find the light at the end of the tunnel, and the world can be such a better place if we all come together and empathize with one another. Finally, I also learned to face my issues head-on while embracing the possibly painful situations that may come with it. I will carry these valuable lessons with me for an eternity and apply them to my life so I can contribute to healing the world with wisdom and empathy.