There is a binder in my room that I would go back in for if my apartment was going up in flames. Within it is a drawing of the characters from [INSERT future HERE], my copy of the script, a photo of everyone involved, a program of the show, and handwritten notes from everyone in the cast, in the crew, and one from each adult advisor who helped me and the other writers along the way. All of which was put together by them. Five binders were made, one for each director-playwright of the new musical. Every time I look at those notes, I think of them. Every time I look at the program, I think of the audience. I think of the people who came up to me crying after it ended, saying how much they felt understood. And I think of the people I knew a bit before they graduated, coming up to me saying they got the closure they didn't know they needed from the characters sharing the melancholy that is losing a transition in life you had long thought was a given. Every time I see the front of the script, I see everything I've poured my heart into, culminating into the best thing I had ever dreamed of--community and the inspiration to create more with the people you surround yourself with. Even more so, working in community theater gives back more than just a performance. People I wouldn't normally see on a daily or weekly basis I get to bond with over doing a limited run show together. When would I, a regular student, be in regular conversation and work with an insurance agent or a real estate agent or a field engineer in a position outside of their day jobs? Their experiences and advice about school and life and careers instilled importance of coming back to working in the community whenever I can. They came back to to this world out of passion and love. People go out of their way to put on performances for free because they love the art. People go to see a show almost at a level equal to regional theaters for half of the price and people can participate in them for free. Theater accessibility is important to me, so I want to be able to bring that back to my community and continue this at college. In the long run, I want to start a theater company that travels to lower income areas, making original works accessible as well as theater favorites. Generations of people should be able to be inspired by theater and have a community that they can be a part of without worrying about being able to afford it. Leading up to this theater company, I still aim to gain as much experience in theater and later film and television in all production positions. Stage management is the position I believe I am most capable and enjoy working in because I get to be there throughout the whole life of the production. Why is it worth it to toil over a spreadsheet for hours just so someone knows when and where to place a chair? Why would someone want to sit in a booth and talk for hours on end, timing cue after cue every day? I've always had the desire to make a show into a performance worth seeing and being on the stage was never the goal for me when all I've ever wanted to see the magic of a show run night after night.

Why is it worth it to toil over a spreadsheet for hours just so someone knows when and where to place a chair? Why would someone want to sit in a booth and talk for hours on end, timing cue after cue every day? As a stage manager, I've always had the desire to make a show into a performance worth seeing. At first I thought I was just doing my job, but I came to realize that not everyone liked the chaos and organizing all of the production elements together. Somehow, by just being me and wanting everyone to be proud and passionate about a story we were making together, people respected my voice and direction. I was the person with the answers to their questions, which daunting at first, I found a rhythm and groove in. I was in charge of assigning technical positions and regularly conversed with my director about every aspect of the show to smooth out details. For the cast, they came up to me with concerns or just about their day because they were comfortable enough to approach me. I made sure people were safe, healthy, and knew what, when, and where they were doing what they needed. Spreadsheets were a familiar sight for me as I kept putting together the puzzle of the master cue sheet and prompt book. The sheer amount of emails and folders containing spreadsheets soon became soothing to see the work pay off, as I pair each Daily Call and Rehearsal Report to the corresponding email. The farther we got into the show, the more I decisive I had to be to bring the show together. Clarity over roles were established, some stage cues were gone or shifted, traffic patterns in the wings were made, and my stage manager toolkit grew. I have a lot of pride in the amount of stage tape I've acquired. From gaffers to spike to glow to vinyl tape, it was there. Eventually, I would like my efforts to be paid for, but all of the community theater work I've done so far has paid me immensely in experience. Never would I expect to handle more Covid cases four years post-pandemic during a tech week into shows or adjusting to only working with half the lights we normally have on opening, but along the way, I loved embracing each change as they were thrown at me. Unpredictability in theater is something I'll always face, but at least I'll have a backup plan and my master list of all the little pieces of the show to help me. Logistics of the stage are my strong suit now, knowing exactly how to tackle bring a show or event to life. Some say it's a thankless job, an unseen one when at its best, but I've never minded. Being on the stage was not the goal when all I've ever wanted to see the magic of a show run night after night.

I have watched the MTV proshot of Legally Blonde the musical over two dozen times since I was six. I saw my cousin's high school production that year and promptly figured out once I got home how to watch it again, in a way, in 360p, in a twelve-part video playlist. (Now I've upgraded to a higher quality video). Something captured my little brain the entire time the way the characters interacted, sang, and danced. And somehow, the proshot was even more. The set, the full story, the songs and choreography, everything was somehow even grander than I ever expected could be. And in every rewatch, I find something new even though it's the same recording. I fell in love with the story and got an even better visual experience with theater. This is the show I turn to when I have a bad day. This was the gateway. But still, theater was only at the back of my mind up until high school. [INSERT future HERE], the musical I co-wrote with my friends, put me in that spot for the first time and made me realize I never wanted to let that go. Writing was something I did for fun, and that was rewarding in it of itself to complete, but directing and designing was the big thing in making the stage come to life. This was my opportunity to make something that would draw someone into theatre and connect to it as I did so long ago. And it did. For everything we, the writers, gave to this show, it was given back to us in tenfolds by our advisors, cast, and crew. There is a binder in my room that I would go back in for if my apartment was going up in flames. Within it is a drawing of the characters from [INSERT future HERE], my copy of the script, a photo of everyone involved, a program of the show, and handwritten notes from everyone in the cast, in the crew, and one from each adult advisor who helped me and the other writers along the way. Every time I look at those notes, I think of them. I think of the people who look at me wide-eyed, ready for the next direction. I think of the people who created and maintained the Discord server (still used to this day) because they wanted to continue the friendships made during the production and dissect every detail we put in for them from the show. Every time I look at the program, I think of the audience. I think of the people who came up to me crying after it ended, saying how much they felt understood. And I think of the people I knew a bit before they graduated, coming up to me saying they got the closure they didn't know they needed from the characters sharing the melancholy that is losing a transition in life you had long thought was a given. Every time I see the front of the script, I see everything I've poured my heart into, culminating into the best thing I had ever dreamed of. With this experience, writing and directing, I hope I can continue this for the next five, ten, however many years I have left.