Human rights activist Ginetta Sagan wrote that “Silence in the face of injustice is complicity with the oppressor.” I often think of this quote, when I feel tempted to quietly nod and agree for the sake of keeping things harmonious, being likable, or ensuring that nobody feels threatened or uncomfortable by my views. I remind myself that to succumb to that temptation is actually to perpetuate injustice and prejudice in the world! Not only do I feel a sense of duty to speak on behalf of those who are unheard or oppressed, but I also consider it a privilege to do so—to live in a country where free speech is a protected right and civil discourse about sensitive matters is actually possible. One way I’ve exercised that freedom is by having a lengthy written correspondence with one of my parents on controversial topics such as same-sex marriage, environmental legislation, gun control, and U.S. military policy. Rather than brushing our differences aside and politely ignoring these topics, we’ve been able to delve into them, express ourselves, and listen to each other’s views in a mutually respectful way. I’m very grateful to have had that opportunity, and it is only through a willingness to speak boldly and honestly–-taking the risk of doing so, without knowing how the other person will react!—that the dialogue has been able to happen. There are many in our world today—animals, children, incarcerated people, refugees, underrepresented minorities, and others—who are not always in a position to speak up for themselves at the times and places where they need to be seen and understood by the wider public. Even when it is uncomfortable to do so, I try to remind myself at those moments that by speaking up, I am being a voice for many.

Growing up, I always wanted to become a published writer, and am glad to have already achieved that dream by publishing two books during my 20’s. I have also fulfilled the goals of traveling cross-country by train, living in a Spanish-speaking country (as a public health volunteer in rural Paraguay in 2001), visiting my aunt in South Africa, foster parenting, and seeing fireflies. Lately I’ve been working hard on overcoming a lifelong phobia through a process called exposure therapy, and it will be an exciting day when I get to cross that one off my bucket list as well! Other dreams I hope to fulfill during my lifetime are: to join a community chorus, to establish and perform with a band that raises funds for humanitarian and environmental causes, to volunteer as an aid worker after a natural disaster or refugee crisis, to travel abroad with my mom and volunteer there together, to become 100% fluent in Spanish, and to be hired by a nonprofit organization that has a mission that I feel passionate about. Steps I’ve taken, or am currently taking, toward these goals include: pursuing a graduate degree that will qualify me for work in the nonprofit sector in my areas of interest, studying Spanish on the side and taking every opportunity to converse with native speakers, keeping an eye out for post-crisis volunteer opportunities, and preparing to attend a 3-day community song gathering (next week!) where I’ll start learning the skills and making the connections to move toward my goal of membership in a community chorus and possibly starting a philanthropic band as well. While I have many dreams, I also try to remember this is a precious day of my life and the most important goal of all is to love and live it fully.

“Could you please start with something positive?” This is my partner’s typical request, when handing me a document to review. She knows that, as a proofreader and editor, I have a keen eye for “issues” and am always eager to share what could be improved. While that’s a valuable skill, I’ve gradually learned the importance of beginning with positive feedback and affirmations. Once a light has already been shone on our areas of strength and excellence, we become more receptive to ideas for improvement or further growth. I try to practice this principle not only when editing documents but also when providing any sort of feedback to others. As a substitute teacher at a local elementary school, I make a conscious effort to notice each student’s personal gifts and strengths, and to comment on these without any comparison to other students. If a child has improved relative to his/her own previous ability, that’s a step—however small—to be applauded! I also think it’s important to remember that each person’s path is unique and will unfold in its own time. If I carry too much of an “agenda” or fixed idea of what other people should do or become, then I only set up both of us for stress and disappointment. The best way to encourage others, I’ve found, is to offer a listening ear and words of affirmation for where that person is right now and the positive steps they’re taking in this moment, without becoming personally attached to any outcome. I’m currently preparing to become a sponsor to others in the 12-step recovery program I’m part of, and I look forward to bringing these approaches into my role as a sponsor and offering the most supportive encouragement I can to those newly on a path of recovery!

Over the past couple years, I’ve learned that one of the worst enemies of confidence is comparison—specifically, comparing oneself to others. As part of a 12-step recovery program for an eating disorder, I’ve listened to enough “highly successful” people share about their lives to realize that we’re all made of the same stuff and grapple with many of the same struggles and insecurities. I’ve discovered that by assuming others are more competent, mature, likable, and skilled than I am, I actually wind up diminishing all of those qualities in myself by undermining my own confidence! But when I acknowledge that I’m no better or worse than anyone else, and that we each have our own particular set of strengths and weaknesses, then my self-confidence grows. One thing that helped me find the inner resolve to enter graduate school and pursue a new career mid-life was the Social Changes Careers Podcast by PCDN, on which mission-driven career professionals are interviewed about their early lives, career paths, current work, and advice for others who want to change the world while earning a living. Similar to my experience in recovery meetings, the interviews on that podcast illuminate the fact that even the most accomplished professionals and changemakers are just fellow human beings who struggle, make mistakes, and aren’t actually that intimidating once you get to know them! This helped to break down my chronic case of Imposter Syndrome and supplied the necessary confidence to apply for grad school and pursue my dreams! Whenever I feel that confidence waning, I simply attend a 12-step meeting or turn on an episode of the Social Change Careers Podcast, where I'm reminded that the person I am today is exactly who, how, and where she needs to be to take that next step forward.

For me, the meaning of life is to “live fully and love deeply.” Simply to exist and perceive the world with our senses is a gift, and I believe one of life’s main purposes is to receive and relish that gift! Everybody does this a bit differently, but for me, it currently means spending time in nature, dancing, singing, gardening, hanging out with my two-year-old niece, and watching the sunrises and sunsets. Although I’m agnostic about the original source of life on Earth, I do feel certain that I’m on the receiving end of an incredible gift and that even anonymous donors like to know their gift is being enjoyed! Just to savor and appreciate life, in my opinion, is part of its meaning. The other side of this coin, for me, is love. If the world were already in a state of complete harmony and free of suffering, then simply enjoying life would be meaningful enough! But given the pain, loneliness, and unmet needs that abound on the Earth, I cannot imagine a meaningful life that doesn’t contribute to the thriving of others. For me recently, this has taken the form of foster parenting, volunteering at a local prison, studying for a career in the nonprofit sector, trying to make ethical purchases, and helping my own family and neighbors however I can. Not only do such acts of loving compassion give me a sense of purpose, but they also increase my enjoyment of life, as described above! I hope to always use these two guides---how can I live the most fully, and love the most deeply?--- as the yardstick by which to measure all my decisions. I'm confident it will have been a meaningful life if I can look back and say that I truly did both.

As I write this essay, only two days have passed since the deadly mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. The daily news reverberates with statistics about the frequency of such attacks and the controversy over how to address them, as well as myriad other reports that could easily sap one's hope for the future of humanity. Where can we find optimism, in times like these? What faith—or at least, sense of possibility—can fuel our motivation to work for a better world, believing that our efforts may indeed bear fruit? For me, hope and encouragement are found in the growing societal awareness of human psychology, interpersonal dynamics, and social-emotional wellness. Even in formal business settings, people are more likely now than in previous decades to talk about their feelings, engage in therapy, take a “mental health day,” and vocalize rather than suppress their concerns. Terms like “trauma,” “self-care,” and “socially responsible” have become part of the mainstream lexicon. Schools now incorporate social-emotional learning (SEL) into their curriculum in an effort to raise a generation of young people with the skills to confront adversity in healthy, productive ways. This trend gives me hope—even amidst the present-day realities of war, environmental devastation, and a polarized political landscape—that we as a society are gaining a better understanding of the underlying mechanisms that drive what we do, while also expanding our capacity to work constructively with each other and to take responsibility for our own role in a given situation. I believe that this awareness and this ability underlie all the other changes that must occur for the uplift of our planet and humanity. The fact that such rapid growth has happened---and is happening---at the core, foundational level suggests that a global tide may indeed be on the brink of turning. Even as the foliage of a diseased tree continues to shrivel and fall, significant improvements to the soil and the tree’s root system mean that it’s only a matter of time before a change becomes apparent in the canopy and a new, healthier crop begins to ripen.

I am writing this essay while traveling to visit my 100-year-old grandpa, who still lives independently at home with robust health, keen mental acuity, and his full set of original teeth. Where could I find a better role model for living a long, healthy life? Here’s what I've learned from Grandpa and now try to practice in my own life. Despite what one might expect, this centenarian has never owned a gym membership, tried a detox cleanse, practiced yoga, or tasted a super-food smoothie. While those may indeed have merit, and I’ve tried a few myself, we are still left to wonder—what is Grandpa’s secret? Are genetics the only factor, or did he and Nana (who also lived into her nineties) practice other lifestyle habits that led to their remarkable vitality? After years of observing my grandparents and listening to their stories, I’ve concluded that the key is something so simple it often goes unnoticed—namely, moderation. Grandpa has never avoided desserts, but he doesn’t over-indulge. He’s never created a work-out routine, but he and Nana frequently strolled the neighborhood and went out dancing on Saturday night for fifty years. He kept busy but not too busy, spent money but not too lavishly, slept eight hours per night, and avoided sweating the small stuff. In an age of excess, it can be tempting to take even healthy things too far—to overexercise, over-commit, and overthink our own lives. On the flip side, we often rebound to the other extreme of renunciation and self-deprivation. My personal goal is to follow the lead of Grandpa and Goldilocks, aiming always for that moderate middle-ground which just might be the surest path to a long, healthy, and happy life.

From a young age, I felt driven to make a singular and lasting contribution to the world. My personal “mission statement” was for there to be less violence on the Earth because I had lived. To that end, I studied Gandhian nonviolence, trained as a mediator, led a small grassroots nonprofit, wrote two books, and attempted to co-create a rural education center for land-based living. While those may sound like significant accomplishments to the casual observer, I still managed to arrive in my late 30’s with a sense of futility and confusion, spread thin over too many upstart endeavors and failing to have the impact I’d dreamed of. A period of reflection brought me to realize that instead of initiating my own fledgling projects, I can actually make a greater contribution by assisting established organizations already doing amazing work. Those entities may never bear my name as founder or director, and I may never be personally credited for the changes they impart on the world, but by seeking a role on such proven and successful teams I will likely have greater impact than by building from scratch and trailblazing alone. I am now in graduate school studying Monitoring and Evaluation, in preparation to work with NGOs confronting violence and environmental devastation on a global scale. (M&E professionals help to identify what works and why, to help organizations increase their impact.) My dream is the same as always — less violence on the Earth because I lived — but my route to pursuing that dream has changed dramatically. Today I acknowledge that the greatest results emerge from teamwork, and I’m eager to contribute the small droplet of my own life to that surging river of collective effort which can truly alter the landscape of the world.

I was overjoyed when it dawned on me how to combine my care for the environment with my passion for human health and well-being----namely, by studying sustainable agriculture! I had grown up eating organic food and experimenting as an amateur backyard gardener, and throughout my teens I'd grown increasingly concerned about global environmental and social issues. My decision to study International Agricultural Development at UC Davis emerged from those dual interests, enabling me to weave them into a single course of study. How can we feed and nourish ourselves, while also protecting the Earth and reversing the ecological degradation caused by modern agriculture? The more I’ve explored that question and learned about viable methods to achieve such a goal, the more passionate I’ve become. Over the past ten years, this passion has inspired me to write two books (one nonfiction and one fiction), to complete internships at innovative small farms across the country, to establish a nonprofit therapeutic farm and manage a local community garden, and to support my own family and neighbors in our isolated rural community by producing fresh organic vegetables for sale and home consumption. I recently began learning more about agroforestry, a method of growing food crops within forest ecosystems, and I knew immediately that this was an area I wanted to explore further. Around the world, but particularly in tropical regions such as the Amazon, forests are being cleared at an alarming rate in order to produce crops. This apparent conflict between environmental and human interests disappears and becomes a win-win when agroforestry is introduced. As nonprofit organizations like Trees for the Future and the Inga Foundation have demonstrated, agroforestry techniques enable people to grow a diverse array of crops (thereby improving their own food security and nutrition) while also replanting shrubs and trees (thereby increasing soil fertility and helping to stabilize the climate). I cannot think of a more holistic and helpful response to the critical issues facing us today, nor one that gives me more hope, than agroforestry. This is why I’ve decided to return to school, in order to gain the knowledge and skills necessary for working with organizations like the ones mentioned above. I’ve been accepted into Missouri State University’s graduate program in Agroforestry and will begin my studies in January 2022. I’m excited about the doors this program will open and the ways it will equip me to be of greater service. In addition to working overseas, I’m also eager to create an experimental agroforestry plot here in my home region of California, to demonstrate how these techniques can be applied to the semi-arid Mediterranean climate where I live. Can our annual vegetable crops be integrated with native herbs, perennial shrubs, and drought-tolerant trees like almonds, pomegranates, and olives? While this may not be a zone of critical deforestation or malnutrition, it is still---like everywhere in the world---a place where we can learn and practice better ways of meeting our own needs for sustenance and health, while also sustaining the health of the planet. I’m grateful to have found my own next step forward in contributing to that effort!

When my partner and I opened our home to a 12-year-old child in crisis, we had no idea a pandemic was just around the corner. We’d mapped out the details---I would expand my piano-teaching business, our foster daughter would attend a nearby school, and extracurricular activities would keep her busy and out of trouble. The COVID shutdown hit only ten days later, shuttering public schools and social gatherings for the coming year. My piano business collapsed, I was hired to cook and caregive at an assisted living home, and we found ourselves homeschooling a friendless 7th grader in the midst of an isolating pandemic. But along with millions of others, we somehow rose to the occasion. This surprising plot-twist caused us to tap inner resources we never knew we had, and it also brought unexpected clarity about the direction I wanted to move in life. I’m now poised to enter graduate school and to embark on a career journey I never imagined, pre-pandemic. Sometimes our best-laid plans need to wither, for something even better to take root. Sometimes life needs to slam a few doors in our faces, to help us find the doors we were truly meant to open.