I did not only learn mathematics and arithmetics in school- I learned empathy, respect, and mindfulness from one teacher in particular. During my high school years, I was troubled. I had undiagnosed ADHD, and a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I struggled to make friends and was often bullied, and in my ninth grade year was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. When I came out of the hospital, on my desk sat a moleskin notebook with a note attached, reading “blank pages for you to fill”. My art teacher, Mrs. Holdren, had heard what had happened to me, and made sure I was shown love when I arrived back in school. I walked up to her desk to thank her, but all I could do was cry. She walked me into the hallway, holding my hand as she did so, and said words that reformed my core: “I was you once”. Upon hearing that, I realized how fast she always had been to stomp out bullying in her classroom. Whenever gossip was a conversation, she would end it. At that moment, I realized why. Bittersweetly, I finally felt as though someone understood me. I quickly made art my lifeline during the remainder of school. I did enjoy art more than my other classes, but the real reason was to be in Mrs. Holdren’s class. Years that I couldn’t be in her classroom, I made sure to visit often, and was always welcomed with a smile. In 2020, my senior year was cut short due to Covid. My biggest heartbreak was not being able to say goodbye to my favorite teacher. A few weeks go by, and there is a package on my doorstep addressed to me. No name was written at the top of the post, so I had no idea what to expect. Inside was a book, written by Mrs. Holdren herself. It was her life story of being bullied, struggling mentally, and even being suicidal. I had known she related to me, but not that closely. I read the entire book cover to cover in a day, tears streaming down my face as I understood why she was who she was. Years go by and I still spoke of her often, but not to her since the pandemic. One day while scrolling Facebook, I stumble upon a familiar face. That was the quickest “friend” request I have ever sent. Barely after I sent a request, I clicked on the message tab. I wrote Mrs. Holdren a message of appreciation for her impact on me, not only academically but as a mentor. She had then messaged me back, saying how happy she was to hear I was doing well. That brief interaction meant the world to me, closing a chapter that was left open. Currently I’m majoring in history, with high hopes to become a high school teacher. Being an educator takes a special kind of outlook on others, and because of Mrs. Holdren I know how to be there for the students that hold their heads low. My life was changed because of her outreached hand and kind heart. Mrs. Holdren gave me a notebook when I came back to school after being inpatient. Through the years of high school and afterwards, I have filled every page. As I write and reminisce, the moleskin notebook sits on my desk as a reminder of my goals and someone who believed in me to get there. I don’t only wish to become an educator, I wish to become a mentor just as great as the one who molded me.

History is like a river- ancient, but ever changing. My major in History will one day be used for teaching the new generations, as I plan on becoming a secondary educator. The ways of the past may be used to help curve and predict the future, and that’s an honor to study. This scholarship would help me be able to plant the seed of historical knowledge in future students. Future generations deserve to have an educator passionate about the past, eager to show them similarities in the present, to help them shape the future. Funds from this scholarship would directly impact my eligibility for textbooks and courses during my academic studies. Every penny towards education matters, as it’s my greatest passion to be able to share that gift of knowledge. This scholarship would not be for just myself, but on behalf of every future pupil I have in front of me. In conclusion, history is and will always be one of the most important studies, as we are writing the future of it today. I would like to leave my mark on the world in the way of sharing that knowledge with my students someday. Every helping hand along the way makes that possible, lifting me into my academic goals. Someday I hope to share this knowledge in lasting ways, implementing future students to want to study the ever-changing ways of the river that is the past.

In a scene from the past, my childhood living room rings out with sounds of Disney Channel being played on the family television. On this day in particular, it was “Adventures in Babysitting” followed by a new show called “Girl Meets World”, a spin-off of a beloved 90’s classic. Both feature a bubbly, charismatic young actress named Sabrina Carpenter. The way she captivated audiences, myself included, with her humor and charm stuck out to me. As she was close to my own age, she became somewhat of a role model to me at the age of 14. Disney was a big part of my growing-up years, and seeing someone near my own age on the screen motivated me. She made me feel as though young people were able to have a place in the world and be successful at an early age. I remember having the slightest tinge of jealousy towards her, but that quickly went back into the admiration it had always been. As years went on, Sabrina became a headlining artist in the music world. She may have been new to the eyes and ears of some fans, however to me she was the same girl that made me laugh as Maya on “Girl Meets World”. Although some of her music may be seen as promiscuous and provocative, I truly believe she does such to promote an act and idea of hers. I believe that Sabrina has seen how the industry sexualizes artists, especially women, and Sabrina monetizes off of taunting it. Even on stage, Sabrina makes fans laugh every time she performs, and I believe that is also something she intends for. She may be young, but Sabrina does not lack experience in acting, and the stage persona she wears each concert is a sequined example of that. As I reflect on how many years Sabrina has influenced me (as of 2026, it has been a decade), I think she may be responsible for my strong sense of identity and love of humor. She had always been my favorite actress in the post-2010 Disney years, and now is one of my most loved stage personas ten years later. Both of us Pennsylvania-born women have blossomed into lovely and courageous people, and I believe Sabrina has influenced a large amount of that for myself.

Depression, anxiety, and a late ADHD diagnosis carved me harshly into who I am today, and after years of struggling to gain balance on the tightrope of mental health, I can say it’s for the better. Mental health isn’t something that gets better over night; it requires time to water the garden inside your mind and cultivate it into something beautiful. This road has not been easy, but it’s one I’m striding victorious. In 2019, my Junior year of high school, I wanted to die. The bullying towards me from others and myself were louder than the love that was being shown to me during that time. I was Class President, Environmental Club President, and a member of the NHS. Yet, it wasn’t enough. The war raged on inside my own four walls, to the point where it was too much. I could bare not another second. I spent 9 days in a psychiatric hold. After, I wasted years on various self-medications, angry at the universe that none of them worked in the ways I expected, some even making my symptoms worse. The following year after being hospitalized, the Covid-19 pandemic had the world isolated. That being my Senior, I got accepted into a great university, one I had been dreaming of for most of high school, and due to my depression and anxiety added to the panic and state of emergency in the world, I chose to stay in my bed instead. Well, my mental health chose that for me, rather. I spent weeks without leaving my room, let alone my house. Weeks turned to months, and months turned into nearly a year. The rare appearances I made outside of my house got more spread apart. Even more acquaintances dissipated out of my life. Looking back, I never wanted to be alone, but my doubts told me I was better off. In hindsight, there were ways I could have better combated my mental health at that time. For starters, getting out of bed. At that time, however, my motivation was gone. Although, I knew to be gentle with myself. I was delicate. Moldable. I could either make or break my own being. As the room got darker along with my mind, I found that yet again, I couldn’t take it anymore. But this time was different. I couldn’t take the sadness, the loneliness, the anxiety, the racing thoughts, the irritability, the self loathing, the pain- for one more moment. On a warm summer afternoon in 2023, after spending too long without a plan to better myself, I decided to start a garden. As metaphorical as that is, I truly believe I also grew with my seedlings. Patches of brown grass were now covered in a multitude of flowers, herbs, and vegetables. The outdoor haven I had made for myself became my solitude during the next year as the lockdown continued. Days that were previously spent in agony were now spent in agriculture. My back and shoulders got burnt by the sun, and I could not have minded any less, because a tan meant I got up that day. As the days went on, that garden became my motivation. My sanctuary. My dimly lit bedroom was next. The curtains were flown open like wings of a guardian angel, sunlight seeping in through every crack. Soon, my bedroom also became a swarm of plants. Ivy from every shelf, bonsais to accompany them, and orchids to remind me that I too was blooming. As the new leaves emerged, so did my self worth. I truly saw something in those plants that reminded me of myself in the most promising way. Three years later, my mental health persists to attempt to catch up to me, but I outrun it every time. I spent a majority of the “best years” of my life wishing it would end. The rest of my existence will be spent avenging that period. I have since started therapy, medications that do help, and continued my hobbies with intent. My mental health used to have a tight leash on me- the roles have reversed. I look my depression, anxiety, and ADHD in the eyes every day and remind them I do not belong to them, and they will never define me. I have hope, real hope, for my future, and it sure is blossoming into a bright one. I will forever dance with my mental health, but now, it will be in the gardens, both physical and psychological. Without a doubt in my mind, I bloomed too.