Throughout my life, people have come and gone, as they do, but the one person who never gave up or walked out was my mom. All my life, my mom has been the sole caretaker for me and my brother, and had to make many sacrifices to do so; for that, she has always been my biggest influence in life. Never once did my mom let the hardships of having to take care of myself and my younger brother get in the way of providing us with a happy and fulfilled childhood. There were times where she had two jobs, times where she had gone back to school to be able to get higher paying jobs, even working minimum wage jobs, all while still making it to basketball games on time, making it to school awards, and making every holiday season and birthday just as special as the last. Never once did it feel like anything was missing, and there never was. After I graduate, I plan to use my skills to dive into creating my own production company. I've created sketches/short movies, and been a part of other's sketches, and I want to be able to create a company for myself, where the rules of casting aren't based on what your physical "type" is, but based on your skills, passion, and willingness to go on a journey to learn something and sometimes not gain anything monetarily. Hollywood and Broadway both have a large issue with discriminatory casting where stories don't call for it. When casting comes down to "who fits the image" and not "who has shown me the capability of knocking this role out of the ballpark" then there's a fundamental issue- an issue that I don't want people to have to worry about. For a large portion of my life, I've been looked at as "wierd" or "different" and I never understood why. I used to be the class clown, sometimes at my own expense. I used to play alone at recess. I even would wrote songs just to sing them to myself at home, but I never understood why this all made me "weird." Eventually, I started to feel weird and I started to see myself how my peers did. I stopped talking in class, I tried to force myself into groups and games at recess just to get rejected... then I, kind of, gave up. I stopped trying to break from the mold that the other kids tried to put me in, ehich is a good thing, but it made me sad because this went on for years and years. I just didn't know what to do. But I never gave up on creating. Whether it was doodles, songs, sketches- I always continued to create something out of nothing or make something beautiful out of the shadows of rejection. Amd funnily enough, slowly but surely, I found my people. I started making up games with some of the other loner kids at recess. I would write and sing songs every day with a kid I met on the school bus. And people would begin laugh WITH me, and not at me. I've learned that the difference in my art and creativity is that is draws people in, my art is irresistible and I learn that more and more each day.

My journey with depression and anxiety began in my sophomore year of high school. My discovery happened when I dated someone who also was on a journey with depression and anxiety. They were very open about their journey and told me about a lot of the hardships they'd gone through since they were a little kid. This was all new me, but I was there for them as much as I could be as a 15 year old, who didn't really know much about having depression and anxiety let alone being in a relationship with someone who had both. As we spent more time together and I heard more stories from them, I realized that I had shared similar tendencies as them. I had deep feelings of sadness that didn't go away for months at a time. I would get nervous or uneasy out of nowhere and it sometimes would get more aggressive depending on the scenario. And so many other feelings that I had just brushed off because I was never taught about or taught how to cope with them. Time continues to junior year, and familial issues are at an all time high, my partner and I had broken up, and I was a part of the most emotionally taxing play that I'd ever been in. I was coping with it all terribly. I would sit in my room in the dark all day and not talk to anyone at home. I would get incredibly anxious around my ex and their friends. I would walk out of rehearsals and cry in the dressing rooms. I began harmful coping mechanisms to get my mind off of the constant struggles.. I felt like had no outlets, no safe havens, and no one to help me. That's when the panic attacks started. With one emotionally heavy situation stacking on top of the next, I had no ways of safely getting rid of the negative energy, so my body practically would shut down and get rid of the energy for me. After months and months of dealing with all this, wondering what was wrong with me, struggling to keep up- fighting the hardest battle of my life, I had my mind set on ending my life. Sunday May 6th was the day. But on that day, something told me not to go through with it. Reluctantly, I listened to that something, and in the upcoming months, I began healing. I started therapy which taught me how to cope properly. I began mending my relationship with my family. I even got closure from my ex. Life was on the up and up again, although, life never was the same again. Here I am, 3 years since then and I've improved my coping mechanisms for depression and anxiety, I have been able to have a peaceful homelife, I'm happily in a new relationship, and I've been better in school than I've ever been before. I no longer look at depression and anxiety as something that's wrong with me, but now I see them as things that make me more empathetic, compassionate, and stronger than I would be without them.

If I had $1,000 right now, I'd put it straight to my tuition. I would LOVE to say that I would put the money into my savings for the apartment I plan to get with my girlfriend after college. We both plan to pursue acting full time in Atlanta, Georgia. I would LOVE to say that I would spend the money on my livestreaming setup (Twitch.tv/daunwhay ;) ) because I love creating content and connecting with the community that I've built up from my years of dedication to content creation. I would LOVE to say that I would spend it getting a gift for my mom to give back to her for her going above and beyond for her loved ones. I would love to say all those things, but the truth is, my school life has to come first. I've just got to make it through these last couple of years of college so I can then continue saving up for my apartment, I can then get back to connecting with my online community as consistently as I used to, I can give back to my mom in a mere fraction of the way she gave to me. College has to come first now, so I can make all those dreams into a reality down the line.

One of the biggest and most impactful industries in the world is the film industry. Being one of the many forms of art, the film industry changes the lives of everyone its influence reaches. We watch people grow in the film industry, and then turn around and share the blessings they'd been fortunate enough to accumulate to their loved ones, their fans, and even people less fortunate. Many of those beloved actors/actresses, directors, writers- many of them not only use their talents for good; they unintentionally impact people's lives through the art that they create, and the same could be said about music. Many times we turn to arts when we want to feel something. To feel happy, sad, nostalgic, excited, optimistic, angry- whatever emotion we want to feel, the arts never fail to provide. One movie, one role, one LINE could stick with somebody, and change their life for the better. One song lyric could change how somebody sees the world. One line could save somebody's life. Through my pursuit of the arts, I only hope that I can, one day, be a contribution to the phenomenon that is art.