What is perseverance and resilience? In my case, I discovered the answer to this question through my own experience with clinical depression and an anxiety disorder. I never thought I would embody both bravery and vulnerability, but writing this essay proves that an illness can spark the bravest fire.
My journey took flight during my freshman year of high school. I distinctly remember the daily panic attacks and stressful nights. My parents and I were clueless about mental illnesses because they were taboo in our culture, so we concluded it was “normal” teenage stress. Nonetheless, I knew constant panic attacks, confusion, and self-hate was abnormal. When summer began, my anxieties submerged like a submarine underwater; however, I lost a close friend, and my depression resurfaced. A mixture of low self-esteem, paranoia, stress, and self-guilt that always resided within me, returned. This resulted in two emergency hospital trips, sleepless weeks, panic attacks, a near-death situation, and constant therapist trips. After being rushed to the Emergency Room a final time, I was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I was prescribed a handful of medications that would help tame my depressive brain, and they did. Slowly but surely, I learned to become stronger, braver, and happier.
The experience of overcoming my depression was a game-changer. I was a seedling of weakness that blossomed into a flower of strength. The experience had thorns, but it gave me roses that will help me in the future. The painful panic attacks I endured because of school and stress have submerged once again. I cultivated the knowledge that no matter how much I stress, panic, and worry, the work will still be there. I learned how to accept the problem and strive for the solution. As a senior in high school, I have prodigious piles of assignments, but I haven't had a panic attack since I commenced school. I owe it all to my experience that taught me how to welcome work without worry. College and my future career will be time-consuming and challenging, but I will accept the work with a smile.
My experience has also cultivated my passion for medicine. While depressed, I was completely shattered. I lost hope in myself and my divinity. However, as I learned how to accept and cope with my imperfections, I discovered perseverance and resilience. I aspire to be a nurse, it's always been my passion and I know I'll achieve this goal if I continue to preserve with a resilient mindset. I hope to help people, who suffer from the pain I suffered from, find their own perseverance and resilience. I want to love, care for, and support people’s mental health. Ensuring that my future patients feel safe and normal when dealing with a medical condition will give me happiness. I want to be an example so that patients can gain hope from my experience. I will feel accomplished when my painful journey motivates someone to overcome their painful journey. I believe my experience will make me a better, more understanding medical provider. It will help me emotionally connect with my future patients. I will be able to effectively communicate like an empathic friend rather than a stern provider. My experience will remind me to spread positivity and heal with kindness. This daily reminder will encourage me to be a successful nurse.
This suffering has taught me a valuable lesson: to always love myself and never give up. I didn't choose this journey, it chose me, but I'm forever grateful because it made me stronger. Still, I deal with anxieties and medications, but I don’t resent them anymore. I love these imperfections because they taught me how to fight my obstacles like a warrior. I discovered my passion to encourage future patients to fight their own illnesses like warriors, too.