I was born on March 20th, 2007 as an illegitimate child. The biological father was in and out of the picture while the mother was on a constant high. Cocaine, marijuana, heroin, you name it and she was on it. As an infant, I was exposed to various drugs, not only outside the womb but also outside the womb. From the time I was born to 3 years and 10 months of age, I suffered from neglect and heavens only know how bad it was. I had not been bathed in a very long time, was stuck in dirty clothes, my crib was 2 chairs and a blanket, and I had not been exposed to love for that time. My little brother was born in September 2010, and although he was only neglected for 4 months, he still suffered from neglect. He had bronchitis, a severe sinus and ear infection, and also hadn't been bathed. Then, we were placed with my forever family. Jennifer Kelly Wilsterman and Matthew Alan Wilsterman are the people I shall forever be indebted to. My parents have never given up on me. Even on the first day of my new life, when I walked up the stairs to the front door without the slightest concern or curiosity, I was given my first dose of unconditional love.
From the very first day of my new life to my 12th birthday, everything was beautiful. Then puberty happened and a change within me was more than just hormones. Suddenly, following the suicide of a classmate, I hated myself and everything that I was. I hated my body, my personality, my heart. I was barraged with many an unkind word, called many names such as psycho, b*tch, sl*t, and such. Never before could I have imagined the pain I would be forced to endure. I was the outcast, I could never fit into any group. I became suicidal in my pain, never being good enough for the people around me, never being perfect.
9th grade hit, I had no friends; I was vulnerable. My new friend, a girl, manipulated me to where I didn't know reality from fantasy. I was sexually assaulted and terrified to say anything. I didn't want to lose anyone, so I just shut my mouth and convinced myself that this treatment was what I deserved. This mindset destroyed me. The physical effects were excruciating; a stabbing and burning in my chest, my throat retaining the sensation of a punched esophagus. All caused by my extreme depression and anxiety, not to mention, the effects of BPD.
Despite the challenges that I have faced, I have learned to love myself again. I know now that I was made to be unique and hating myself is just a waste of time. I no longer have anxiety, I know now how to cope with my diagnosis, I have a fiance, and I am elated to see what life has for me. This scholarship will help me enter a prestigious Veterinary Institute to begin my journey to a veterinary doctorate. I am more determined than ever to make a life that I am proud of, not to curl up in the dark as the world passes by. My experiences have allowed me to develop the strength necessary to live my life the way I want to, and I will.