In order to tell you about my story, I first have to tell you a bit about my parents' stories. My mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me and had me when she was 16. She was a good student, with good grades and was a high school freshman. She was the middle child of 5 siblings. Unfortunately when she had me the school told her shed missed too many days of school to receive her credits for her classes and fell behind. She dropped out soon after to stay in the hospital with me since Id been born prematurely. She never managed to get her High-school diploma. My father had a rougher childhood than my mom did. He was in and out of juvenile detention at a young age and was abused by his father. The youngest and wildest of 4 siblings he had a bad reputation, he dropped out of school in the 8th grade and never went back. There was already a history of substance abuse at this age. When I was 2 years old my parents packed up and moved to Florida with me. They were still very young and times were tough from what Im told. My dad was hard worker despite everything and was always very competent with jobs, he was a good teacher when it came to street smart skills but unfortunately they were both major partiers. I grew up spending a lot of time with friends and their families. I think because they never graduated or went to college they never thought about me doing the same either. Their parents never went to college and a lot in my family never graduated either. My childhood was turbulent anyways, my father begun to emulate his father and eventually turned to abusing us as well. Most of my childhood after the age 10 was moving around with my mom trying to outrun my father. My grades suffered and each year my attendance in school dropped, especially after my little brother was born in 2012. I stayed home a lot to watch him so that my mother could work. Around 2014 things started getting better, we moved to Ohio to stay with my grandfather since we knew we were safe from my father since he was serving one of his longest stints in prison for the manufacture of meth.The years had hardened my mother and she had become cold and nasty, willing to do anything to escape our abuser and maintain control. Even if that meant doing some physical and mental abuse herself. My grades were horribly low and I failed my first year of high school due to a bad bout of depression and thoughts of suicide. Shortly after entering 10th grade I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't know what to do with my life. But looking at my parents and where they went in life and how my mom hated her job I knew I couldn't do that. I knew I had to do better so that my little brother had someone to look up to and to tell him to go to college, that he was smart and capable and that he could do anything he wanted to do with some hard work. I needed to be able to tell him to work hard, I wanted to be able to tell him all the things nobody ever told me. So I buckled down. Things weren't magically better, I was fighting an uphill battle. I retook all my classes online, I tried not to miss as much school, I tried to stay on top of my schoolwork. My test grades were as high as they had always been, but finally my grades were starting to match them more. My home life hadn't improved, if anything it was only getting worse. But that cemented what I needed to do. Finally I graduated and was accepted into my school of choice. I left my abusive home behind and set out on my own to try to do what my parents never did. My goal was to get a good job, to graduate and hopefully be able to support my little brother once I graduate. I know my experience as a first generation student isn't completely unique, but thats what hurts the most. That there are other people out there who went through what I went through. But as Im sitting here writing this, fighting my way through college, homeless, working, saving and hoping. I know that Im still so lucky to have this opportunity in life. I believe that people really truly can do whatever they put their mind too. It may not always work out but you should always fight and try your hardest. I believe.

As a University student its so common to be asked "What are you going to school for?". This question always makes me wince a little on the inside. As a Japanese studies major I always get strange looks after I say my area of interest, especially after friends respond with areas such as business, nursing or engineering. Im always told that I wont be able to find anything to do with my degree or that I would have been better off in something marketable. That nobody cares about a degree in Japanese studies. Sometimes I even get accused of picking my whole major based on my attraction to international forms of media. What they don't understand is that ever since I was little and stumbled across a Japanese movie I marvelled at the differences and things I didn't seem to understand. I didn't understand why the houses looked so different, why they seemed to remove their shoes everywhere they went, why the food looked so different, what these mysterious statues seemed to be all over the place. As I got older I would search out different forms of Japanese media to try and put it together. I would look at international botanical books and search for the Japan Chapter, I wanted to know if the trees with the tiny pink flowers were real. I began to look at religion books in the library, that explained shintoism, buddhism and hinduism that are the most common religions in Japan. I found books that spoke about history. They told the stories of legendary commanders and leaders in the feudal era. Feudal japan was my favorite to try and find books on. I loved looking up Japanese folklore, stories of Izanami and Izanagi and how they created the Japanese Islands and the stories of what their children did. My love for the culture only grew over time. In order to graduate with my degree I am required to study abroad in Japan, I am already looking at schools in Osaka, Nagasaki and Akita. I am hoping this will help cement my Japanese language skills and give me real experience in the things Ive studied in books and other forms of media for so long. If Ive made mistakes in my research I want to know, I want to have an intimate knowledge of the culture there. I want to be able to come home and know with confidence everything Im saying is true. Some people are afraid of what they don't know and I never want to be one of those people. I want to be open-minded about the unknown and always ready to learn and fix my world-views. I want to be adaptable and I know in my heart and in my mind that to travel the world and meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places is one of the best ways to do that. I want to be able to share my experiences and tell people all about a culture that is different than ours. I dont expect it to stop here either, after I do this I want travel more and slowly collect more experiences and more knowledge. To open my heart and mind to new knowledge from all over the world. This is why I must study abroad in Japan, its my purpose in life to do these things and help people understand the things I learn! It gets me excited just thinking about it. I want to help people, and this is one of the ways I intend to do it.

How do I reduce an anime that gives me hope and an escape in difficult times to just 150 words? Hiding under blankets to read the manga. Waking up early to watch the show. Obsessing over little paper cards. Drawing my own little pocket monsters. Pokemon has been with me since I was so little, and is with me to this day. It was a distraction when I wanted to ignore my parents screaming. It taught me values of friendship, and gave hope that there was a world where no child was sad and always had a friend. I wanted to be able to fight for others like Ash Ketchum did, to always get up no matter what. I wanted to be strong like Red. I wanted to be pretty like Misty or Dawn. I still do. You know what they say, Gotta catch em all!

1. The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens, while not my go-to book for enjoyment reading has had the most impact on me mentally and emotionally. On the surface the more obvious themes of justice, truth and redemption that relate to the accused Vietnam veteran are gripping. Truthfully its the more underlying themes of alcoholism, abuse and being the underdog that revolve around the main protagonist that I can identify with the most. My English instructor Amy Milnes is the one who suggested the book and I wasn't expecting what I got. From the start the narrator introduces us to his abusive alcoholic mother who switches the roles of parent and child whenever she deems fit, the responsibility he felt for his autistic brother and his desire to prove the people wrong who doubted him and said he would never amount to anything. A lot of those things touched base with me in a way I wasn't expecting, and since it was used in a class setting, paired with brutal honesty from my classmates, I learned that I wasn't alone and that while they didn't look like it we all had something we struggle with. We all had weights to fight against. I suppose the impact it had on me was to encourage me to follow my dream and my goals in college even when the people closest to me are my weights.2. When I was younger my dad used to be a social person and had introduced us to a family staying across the street. She had two children a girl about 1-2 years younger than me, Jayde and a boy about 5 years younger than me, Kole. Jayde and I were friends even though she was younger than me. I hung out with her a lot but Kole didn't have many friends because he had anger issues, a lazy eye and due to not having many friends, didn't know how to interact socially. One day I was leaving my house to go to another friend's house and saw her brother in the front yard crying. I went over and talked to him, and decided to bring him along. My friend wasn't happy that I had brought a little boy with me, one that "looked weird" and I got embarrassed for a moment before I got mad and left, because if I couldn't treat everyone equally and with kindness then I shouldn't be playing with anyone. From then on I took Kole around whenever he wanted to come along, introduced him to other boys in the neighborhood and watched him grow. His mother Danielle thanked me and I saw how much it meant to her, and all the good things that came from being kind and treating people equally. I learned to always try to look at something from another person's view. And I carry that with me to this day.3. One of the biggest challenges of my life has been the transformation it has undergone in the past year. My relationship with my mother is not very good to say the least. We fought about anything and everything. She had a tendency to be emotionally and verbally abusive and believed in rough love, she could be hard to handle. So could I, with my growing sense of self-awareness and what I wanted for my life, it wasn't what she wanted it was a bad mix. So as soon as I graduated I left. I took a job at a summer camp with two close friends and spent my summer there. It was rough, my mother constantly showing up to harass me or blocking me from her life completely, a seizure that was chalked up to too much stress and strain. There were so many times that I almost gave up and took the easier path. All I could do was think about my future, the things I would be doing soon, being an example for my brother. I fought hard mentally, emotionally and financially to be here. I'm proud to say that I'm where I am now because I didn't give up and I won't give up. So you ask how I conquered this challenge but I don't think I have yet, I'm still working on it. This essay, this scholarship is part of my conquering process. So thank you for being a part of my journey.4. When I think of a mentor, I think of someone that has something to teach me if I am willing to listen. All my life I have listened and watched the things around me and the story's they tell. My parents stories, their friends, my friends, older women and gentlemen I've come across and had the pleasure to listen to. Right now, Im kind of writing my own story. As a person who has recently cut ties with most of her family a friendly face with good advice and guidance wouldn't hurt. A lot of people have their parents to guide them while they cross the bridge of high school to college and the adjustment but I don't. My mom doesn't approve of me being here because it wasn't her way, her school or her profession. she wanted me to be a veterinary technician and go to a technical school. I on the other hand wanted to study the Japanese language and the culture that comes with it. As of right now I am a double major in Japanese and international affairs and diplomacy. I dream of being a translator/interpreter for the UN and an ALT for the JET program in Japan. She thinks its useless and has told me countless times that I will come crying back to her and Im trying my best to prove her wrong. Having a mentor would mean having someone in my corner, rooting for me and telling me that I can do it. I would use this time with them to cultivate skills that will help me clear the path to my degree and therefore my future. Neither one of my parents officially graduated from high school and on the very few occasions that I communicate with my father I enjoy telling him the path Im on, because he tells me that Im doing well and that he's proud of me that Im doing what they couldn't. I look around at the people I love and while things are better right now they used to be very very bad and we lived in poverty. My family have Jobs they hate and that they need to just get by and I know that with the right tools I dont have to live like that, my children wont and that my siblings will see that they dont have to either. Tools that I could gain from a mentorship. Everyone has a right to be happy in their lives, some just take extra steps. Steps like going out on your own, going for what you believe in, finding someone who can teach you the things you need to keep succeeding and striving for what you want. Then I can teach them to the people around me and be a mentor to someone else one day. To say I did it, but not without help.