I plan on using my education to change the world by giving people someone they can count on and be emotional towards them. My freshman year I had to deal with grief and the loss of my dad causing me to question many things including my education. I felt like no one around me knew how I felt and they would never understand what my grief felt like; and how could they if I was the one going through this not them? That's why I want to use my education and use my own emotions to help me get to nursing school and be the nurse I needed at the time. The nurse that understands how other people feel, the nurse that helps you with your questions, the nurse that supports your emotions, the nurse that is patient and has empathy towards others. I want my education and my achievement to show others that even though there are struggles in my every day life I was able to strive through like everyone else and I will continue to strive through like everyone else, and it allows me to be the person I've always wanted to be as well as be the person my dad wanted me to be. My family and I have gone through many things like my dad getting deported, my mom living in Mexico for a year, my grandma passing away, and the hardest thing we got through was my dad's death. We never let that stop us from continuing our life though, because we knew that even though he was not here anymore he was still here cheering us on in spirit and is proud of us. We overcame this by taking it one day at a time, knowing that we had time and not everything had to be rushed. We had to know and believe that even though we lost someone very important to us, we knew that he was not truly gone. That's the thing that I had to learn by grieving. I felt alone for so long and I did not know what I could do to feel better because I thought no one could rush me, and I was right. No one is allowed to tell you that "you need to move on" or tell you "its not that serious" because only the person going through loss knows what emotions they feel and that's what my family and I learned throughout the years. I want to use my family and I's loss as motivation to strive to be that NICU or pediatric nurse I've always wanted to be able to show kids that even though you go through hard things there is never nothing that you cannot do. Like a quote I once heard said "even the impossible is possible" and this is the way I live my life every single day to get me through the challenges, and get what I want in life.

From a young age I knew that being bilingual was going to be a benefit towards my future and my goals, even though many people around me did not know english including my parents they always told me it would help me. My mom put me in english classes since I was a little girl even though my first language that I officially learned was spanish. My mother did this because she knew that knowing english and spanish at the same time would be used to my advantage when I got older and it would allow me to get farther in my career. My mother knew english just a bit to get around and get her point across, even though sometimes I would be in the store with her as a little girl I would see how rude people could be towards her because of the accent she had. I was always angry towards those people because I knew it was not my mothers fault and people had no right to judge her because of where she came from. My dad on the other hand was completely different, I was my fathers middle child but my older sister was long gone when I started talking and being able to speak up for myself; she had grown up and it was up to me. I was the translator for my dad. I was the person he depended on when we went to the store, because my parents were divorced. I was the person he needed. I felt embarssed because I felt like people would judge me too because I was still learning english of coarse but, I was needed; I needed to put the embarrassment aside. When my father died I felt like my purpose to help had ended because he left me freshman year, but this is when I decided what I wanted to do exactly for my future. I decided that I wanted to be the first NICU nurse in my family. I figured this out whenever I sat in my room asking myself why my dad had to leave so early even though we had so many things planned together? I realized that I wanted to be a nurse to help people that ask themselves why just like I did and be there for the people that need someone just like I did. I realized that being bilingual would allow me to talk to people that do not have anyone else to talk to because of the language barrier. I had something that not everyone had and this was a blessing that my parents gave me. Being bilingual definitely had its disadventages though; not only did I get looked at weirdly when being out in public with my mom and speaking spanish around people that do not know spanish, but I also struggled with speaking to people in one language and not knowing how to translate the word whether it was english or spanish. Despite these challenges I managed to continue to push everything aside and use my english and spanish to my advantage. By being able to translate for people I just met and even helping my mom sometimes when she needs help. Helping translate reminds me of my dad asking me to help him and it brings me good memories of what I learned to do and how I can help people in the future.

Starting my high school experience, I thought it would be a quick but fun experience because that is all everyone talks about; but as my first year went by it took a turn to the worse. My freshman year my younger sister and I went on our first and only vacation with my dad to Chicago thinking everything was going to go smoothly when there was a turn of events. Arriving to Chicago my dad passed out and went into a coma and sadly passed away on December 26th 2022. This was unexpected for everyone and it was hard for me to figure out how to continue with my education because my dad was my number one supporter. When my dad passed away I felt alone with my own grief trying to keep going and there were many times I did not want to continue and felt like the best thing would be to give myself a break, but I knew that this was not what my father wanted for me and he would not be proud of my decisions. As the year went by I stopped talking to many people because I felt that no one knew what I felt and they could not possible understand me, so I felt like distancing myself would help things get better instead of worse. I later on learned that this was not a smart decision because these times when you lose someone it is when you need someone the most and need support the most. I decided that I would not let this stop me from achieving my goal of becoming the first NICU nurse in my family and making my dad proud of me even if it would not be in person; it would be in spirit. My goal for the future is to be able to become a nurse and be there for kids so that parents do not have to ask themselves "Why?" When my dad passed away I spent the longest time asking myself why? but the worst part was that I felt guilty for not being able to help my dad because I thought to myself if I am in these classes that teach me about the medical field why did I not know what to do? I want to help people not feel the way I felt and be pleading for answers so I knew that becoming a nurse would give me that entry into people's lives and help others like I needed once because the truth is that the question why will never be answered and all we can do is continue to help others around us. If I were to gain a further education I will be able to get a job I will actually enjoy waking up to every morning and be able to enjoy my day to day life. Most of all though, continuing my education would make my dad, my mom, and most importantly myself proud. Getting this career would open up so many doors for myself and put me one stop closer to the end goal of helping those around me understand that grieving is normal and having a community around you is the most important thing you could have. My education would help me towards these goals because it will push me to my limits and show me what it takes to be what I want to be, because school is not easy but in the end it helps me and my future and its for me and not anyone else.

When I was 14 years old while on my first and what would become my last trip to Chicago with my dad. I was so excited; I felt like I could have done a flip out of joy. But soon, the trip took a devastating turn to the worse making it a trip that my whole family would remember. My father passed away unexpectedly and we never found out what truly happened even after the autopsy they ruled it as a sudden stop of oxygen to his brain and they stated that he had choked, but see I knew deep down that this was simply was not true so it made me spiral into many emotions. I felt like wanting to become a nurse and what I had learned in my classes should have been enough for me to at least attempt to help my father but it was not enough and I was left feeling guilty for that. I remember coming home after the incident and thinking these moments were hard on me but only me and I was wrong. Although my parents had been divorced since I was five, I realized that my mom was just as hurt as I was. This tragedy took a toll on everyone around me and I told my mom one things that I think about constantly while studying in high school "I want to become a nurse because I want to know what happened to my dad." This was a statement that I told my mom that made me want to take my career seriously and not give up while my mental health was declining. I told myself that this big moment in my life was going to be my motivation to keep going and achieve my end goal. Like many people who have experienced deaths in their lives I was dragged down by grief and anger because I wanted answers that I was simply never going to get and until I understood that I knew I was never going to move on with my education. I used my father's death as a motivation to want to help many people out there who just want answers as well and help save people so their family members do not have to ask themselves "Why?" and have the desperation to seek answers like I once was. I hope to contribute to the career in the field by helping people get answers and I use my own personal experiences as my way of seeing things from others people point of views while also seeing the way every human is different and go through emotions differently, but try to give them the answers they deserve. I try to empathize with others during their hard times like I once needed in my life. My life did not end when my fathers did because in many ways my life had just started, and I realized that I want to not give up on my nursing dream and to work even harder, so that I can make my father proud even if it is not in person but in spirit.