Strange thing, the brain. This neuroplastic brute, the master controller of all-powerful thought and action, is also the culprit that ensnares our demons in its dendritic branches, holding us captive. Many of us are unaware of the importance of our minds until they fail and deceive us, and we struggle to rule them back into commission. I was no exception.
It was not until I became deeply entangled in my own neural web of fears, insecurities, and wounds that I began my journey toward mental health. This was the night when a part of me died.
As I stared blankly, at the chalky white ceiling of the Emergency Room, paint chipping away at the corners, I felt removed from the moment. It was my breath, but it was laborious and shallow. Around me were patients of all ages and afflicted with various maladies. I took a deep breath and felt the anxiety radiating off of them all. I knew they were feeling the same fear I was feeling, and for a moment, I felt a kinship with them. It was as if we were all meditating on life's name hoping to come out alive, reborn.
Years of being overwhelmed by the speed and complexity of my own internal monologue had brought me here. In this fast-paced world, it's easy to lose sight of your value when you're not producing, creating, or achieving. I got lost in the noise and chaos, feeling I was nothing more than a cog in the machine. But when I finally paused to listen and turned inwards, I heard my own voice. It didn't just sound, it echoed.
I embraced it, took a deep breath, and stepped into a place of clarity. Mental health to me became more than a physical state of being; it became the essence of my existence. I value my mental health because what I think, feel, and exist for matters.
I began a new way of life. I started with meditation and slowly worked to turn it into a daily ritual. I was once told by my meditation teacher that thoughts are like throwing a pebble into a river. It sends ripples across, but gradually the waves settle down. The same goes for my thoughts, which I should treat as waves that ebb and flow. Eventually, I’ll find my way to the surface. I was moved by his words and realized that there is a higher state beyond human sensibility, and beyond what we do or think.
Additionally, I turned to creative writing as my solace. One of the biggest urges is to resist what we're feeling, to somehow remove ourselves from the moment or experience. Nonetheless, I have learned that it is bravest to accept the feelings or situation as it is and to process them creatively. The written word remains an instrumental part of my mental wellness. As I surrender myself to that exploratory experience, I am in deep alignment with my impulses and wounds. What you resist persists, and facing it frees you from it.
It is through these daily practices and philosophies that I attain clarity, inner peace, and mental wellness. Truthfully, this hasn't been a journey without hiccups but I'm a firm believer that it is by cosmic will that we are here. Forrest Gump once wondered whether there was a larger force at play or whether we were all just floating around. The real answer, I don't know. If there is, we must stand and deliver to it. And that begins with honoring our minds.