Over the years I have had a love-hate relationship with mental health. Admitting it’s not all sunshine and daisies is not an easy task and when someone admits they are struggling they could be commended rather than shunned. The stigma around mental health has come a long way but for some it hasn’t come far enough. Long repeated stereotypes that people who suffer from mental illness are somehow less of a person or that they are dangerous is often portrayed in movies which only contributes to the problem. Feeling ashamed or ridiculed for seeking mental healthcare can lead to necessary treatments being forgotten to save face with friends or family. I was blessed to work for a short time for a specialized program within Behavioral Health that prepared at risk jail inmates for release. This included getting proper identification, housing and follow up mental health appointments. Remarkably this program was seeing fewer rates of recidivism from untreated citizens. When asked what the biggest difference was, most participants agreed that they felt heard and taken seriously and were not just being labeled “crazy” or “out of control”. Mental health mattered to me decades before I had this position though. Early on I could recognize psychiatric disorders in the homeless populations, wishing the government would recognize that mental health is one of the biggest contributing factors of homelessness. Some studies state that as many as 70% of homeless adults have some form of mental illness. I have lived within two hours of Los Angeles most of my life and I have witnessed first hand the homeless camps, the despair and the reality of it. I could see beyond the dirt and grime, the foul language and verbal assault because their eyes tell such a different story. Wanting to help every lost soul is a hard burden and might be the reason that I could never pursue my childhood dream of being a psychologist. I take everything so personally and have a great empathy for those around me. That natural empathetic nature is what put me on my own path of a downward spiral of mental health. I was married to a narcissist. The abuse caused me to have C-PTSD and the years of high cortisol output left me with chronic pain and autoimmune conditions. I had done plenty of talk therapy, one even had me hold contacts that would buzz if I was overthinking. When I finally had enough I sought help again. This time it was through my pain management clinic. The pain psychologist happened to have EMDR as a specialty and I, being willing to try anything to free myself, gave it a shot. Now, I don’t know how it works, only that it does. I even continually tested myself through the process, purposely exposing myself to known triggers, and started to notice that it no longer brought up the “run” feeling. A particular session the image that manifested was more like movie credits, just a barrage of all the things that were said and done to me, and then it was gone. I’ve spent the last four months now free. Free of the hypervigilence. Free of nightmares. Free of anxiety every time the phone rings. Now every time I am on social media and I see someone struggle, I tell them about EMDR. I might mention it fifty times a day. I’ll do fifty more too if it helps just one other person. Life is too short and too sweet to be miserable, and for those that discount medication I have one question I always ask… “if you needed medication for your heart would you take it? Then why won’t you take something your brain needs.” Let’s end the stigma. Let’s make mental health cool!

I was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis when I was six months old. When my hypervigilant mother noticed that I had an increasing amount of cafe-au-lait spots. This was in the seventies and not much was known about the disorder then. Likening it to “elephant man” disease the doctor warned her about disfigurement and other lifelong issues. Childhood was a cruel time for me, other children constantly teased me because of the spots I was covered in, ostracizing me for my differences. I was fourteen when she actually told me what it was. It was also around this time that I developed my first tumor. On the inside of my right arm. The internet became my best friend and every time I had access to it I was researching NF. I came to terms with the fact that one day I might not walk, that I will always have pain and other complications as a result of the disorder. At this stage in my life I’ve had seven of those. The neuropathy in my legs is constant, I have tumors growing on my spine and about ten of them in my brain. As I write this I am on that downturn into full disability albeit a little sooner than I had planned on. I’ve stopped working because of the chronic pain and leaving my last job meant that I also lost my employer funded education plans. This happened with me being just 12 credits from achieving my Bachelors. It’s hard to justify to my spouse (and myself honestly) that taking loans to finish my program when I won’t be able to work or use my degree is worth the cost. However I want so much to finish it, to say that I did, that I could. That despite all the setbacks I have in my health and wellness that I didn’t give up. Neurofibromatosis dealt me a heavy blow and I’ve had multiple surgeries now because of it, even if that can’t technically correlate the problems to NF. I think the likelihood that I would develop uterine fibroids and tumors on my thyroid are just a coincidence. I have struggled with finding doctors that understand the complexity of the disorder and how it can actually trigger immune responses in other parts of the body. I am in pain. Every day. There are days where the pain is so overwhelming that it’s hard to focus and although I was once an avid reader, I can no longer focus on a book long enough to read more than a few pages. This disorder has taken away what I enjoyed most in life. As I sit and type I can’t help but notice the tumors just under the skin, other people might not notice but it is all I can see at times and knowing that there are probably more than twenty I could count in my left hand explains why my hands often forget how to work. I will randomly lose my grip on objects and randomly dropping things is not only embarrassing but frustrating. My mind races and I have so much to say but it often comes out in a disorganized manner and my writings don’t flow in a logical manner. I used to love writing stories but now I can’t concentrate and I battle a pretty big case of brain fog and it feels like I can’t remember anything. My phone is full of notes to myself, or pictures and alarms to remind me of things that need to be done.

When I was 14 years old I found out that I have a genetic disease that affects the nervous system. It's one of those fun long word deals... neurofibromatosis. It's the kind of thing that causes people to treat you like a leper. I was ridiculed as a child because I am covered in birthmarks and children tend to notice things that makes another different and use it against them, even when there is nothing you can do to change it. I am still lucky though considering some of the cases I have seen. While I have plenty of the tumors on my nerves that are so prevalent with this disorder, there are some that have them covering their entire body. I consider myself fortunate, even despite the slow slope I am on into full disability. The upside of this life I've been given is that I am more empathetic towards the disabled and have a unique perspective of understanding the unseen obstacles they might be facing. Social media has been an outlet for me that allows me to connect with those that are struggling and not only offer a safe space for them to voice their frustrations but to have a clear understanding of the struggles they aren't ready to share. I started my college journey well into my forties. I was working for Macy's and they introduced a partnership with Guild that would pay tuition for me. I signed up that day. Going back to school though highlighted some of the learning deficits I have and even though there have been some challenging courses, I am very near the end of the journey. A coworker, who was inspired by my efforts to get a degree decided that it was worth her giving it a try as well. Although it wasn't a position I had anticipated; I became a mentor in her journey and a sounding board for her struggles. During this time I also found myself on a healing journey to put past traumas to bed and allow me to get back to living over surviving. I had a wonderful, encouraging psychologist who was very encouraging and even suggested that I should consider a career (even at my old age) in psychology because of my unique perspective on the struggles of life and the ability to provide that safe space for others in need. But now, I am just 12 credits shy of getting my Bachelors Degree and the funding that I was so grateful for, is no longer an option. I don't honestly know if I will be able to work a regular job as my body continues to decline but I desperately want to finish my degree so that I will always have something to show that even though it was hard, I did it. Maybe it will inspire others too.

I started college when I was 44. I had always regretted not going to college after high school when I was young and resilient.I was young and ready to get on with living and then kids and life happened. I went through a trade school when I separated from my children’s father and found myself on my own with three kids under five. That school ended up being one of the predatory schools and I was never able to find a job for which I had paid so much to be prepared for. Life busted me around some more and I found myself trapped in a domestic violence relationship that I was only able to escape when he went to prison. I was on my own again with three teenagers now just doing all I could to survive. I started working at Macy’s and life began to be liveable again. After a couple years working they decided to partner with Guild and offer fully funded education programs. I signed up that day! I received my Associates in Science in Marketing in November of 2023, and I am proud to say that I did so with Honors! My schooling has all been self led online so I have to be resourceful when I come across a problem. After getting my AS I decided that since I still had funding options I might as well continue. I started my BSBA in Marketing and as of today I am 90% completed with the program. Unfortunately my disabilities have caught up with me and I have been on leave from work. Sadly when I actually end up on permanent disability my tuition goes away. I used to joke that my only plans for my degree was to hang it on the wall, but now that I am on the edge of losing it and being so close to completion I really want to finish. I want to show my children that it is never too late to pursue your dreams. This scholarship would help me finish my degree program and help me in managing a home based business that I can do even when my body has other plans. I have always struggled with allowing myself to be first and even though I might be able to work at Macy’s anymore I am not ready to give up on making something of myself. I’ve remarried and have a supportive partner but we are also preparing to move across the country so that I can be closer to my mom so that I can help her while she takes care of her mom. My grandma is going to be 92 this year and I want to be able to show her that I did it too, before it’s too late. This scholarship would cover two courses at SNHU and inch me closer to my goals. After this term I will have completed all prerequisites for my degree leaving me with electives to complete the credits. Always up for the challenge I have chosen multiple psychology classes and a mythology course (for fun!). I appreciate this opportunity and your consideration. I am glad I am not alone. It is never too late!

Mental health has been a predominant factor of my overall wellness in the last decade. I was the victim in a domestic violence relationship that I was only able to escape when the perpetrator went to prison. For years after I suffered from PTSD that greatly impacted my physical health. I had taken part in all forms of counseling, from specialized domestic violence therapy to group sessions. I only recently (last month!) found the method that finally freed me from the bonds my trauma held over me. As a chronic pain patient I met with a pain psychologist who felt that EMDR would be good for my case. He was right! This therapy has given me my life back. NIghtmares and hypervigilance all but disappeared. I am the kind of person that seeks answers and I went through this process while purposely exposing myself to known triggers to see if it really was working or if I had created my own placebo effect. In my last session, I spoke candidly with my doctor about how I had wanted to be a psychologist in my younger years before life happened and he encouraged me by saying it wasn’t too late. This encouragement came when I admitted that I was taking psychology classes as electives towards my degree. I have become one of those people that is telling anyone who will listen that they should try EMDR because I have no doubt of its effectiveness. I believe that for a long time mental health has carried a stigma and people suffering were ostracized and locked away when people didn’t understand what was causing the behaviors. Now that it isn’t such a shameful secret I proactively try to inspire others to not hide their hurts and that seeking help is something to be commended and applauded! When I started EMDR I saved this quote on my phone and it got me through the intense sessions. “Ask not what disease the person has but what disease has the person”, which tells me that the person is not a lesser being because they have a mental illness or any other chronic conditions. When I was six months old I was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis. Knowing the potentials of what can happen to my body is a hefty cross to bear. I had to accept that one day I might not be able to walk. This causes abnormal growths on my nerves and I have had complications because of it. Although doctors can’t link it, I’ve had to have major surgeries because of these growths. This can really weigh on the mind at times but I try my best to push through each day as I am not done with this life yet. I started my college journey late in life when my employer offered free tuition as a benefit. I signed up that first day. I earned my AS in Marketing with honors and decided I wasn’t done yet. I might be older than a majority of students but I do it so my children see that there is always hope. That even if you are set on a different road than you wanted you can still achieve your dreams when you put your heart into it.

EMDR saved my life. For years I struggled with PTSD after an abusive marriage. After starting my life over I still struggled with nightmares and hypervigilance. My employer offered education benefits so even though I was in my mid-forties I jumped at the chance. I received my AS in Marketing in 2023, graduating with honors. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to keep going and now I am almost finished with my BSBA with a Marketing concentration. Unfortunately I also struggle with chronic pain and I am on temporary disability. Stepping away from my job also means stepping away from the funds that allow me to continue with my education. I am at 90% completion for this degree and I'd love the opportunity to show my children that it is never too late to accomplish your dreams! Every day is a struggle for me but I still push on. I have met all requirements for my degree and I am now grabbing all the electives credit I can. The classes I've been choosing for electives aren't what you would expect as I tend to pick challenging ones like Biopsychology, Mythology and Geology. I've always been a fairly good student and like courses that will give me a better understanding of how the world works and why people act the way the do. As a child I wanted to be a psychologist but life got in the way. Through my EMDR treatment I've not only been able to free myself of the bonds that trauma causes but have been inspired by the treating doctor that it can still be a possibility even though I am approaching fifty! This scholarship would allow me to continue on this unexpected path and give me opportunities that I didn't have before. I currently have a 3.7 GPA and every term I try to bump it up a little more. I love doing research and finding new and potentially obscure answers to problems. While I always joked that all I planned to do with my degree is to hang it on the wall I secretly want to keep going. My higher education has given me back a belief in myself that I thought I lost and it has been a very healing journey. I appreciate the time that you've taken to read this and learning a little bit about me and why I'm here. I'm so grateful for this chance!