0 - 10 vs 10 - 0. Both scorelines invoke emotion, but for some reason winning 10-0 wasn’t the best feeling, and losing 0-10 wasn’t the worst. However, those moments were humbling and allowed me to learn. The best time wasn’t a moment instead the best time was being on the field doing what I love, with the people I love. The worst feeling was realizing that I was done doing what I love.
I’ve played soccer since 10 years old recreationally and 12 competitively. In my competitive years, I played for 3 teams. My middle school, high school, and club teams. In each of those teams, I felt as if I was in a brotherhood. Especially since I grew up an only boy I felt like my team was the one place I could go where I had real brothers. Especially my high school team which I was honored to captain my junior and senior years. However, in all relationships, there are highs and lows. One of the lows was us losing 0-10. The whole season we were losing, we didn't win a single game, but this one was different. After each goal they scored I grew angrier and angrier until I was consumed by anger. Being here I didn’t want to listen to anyone, but I finally gave my teammates a chance to speak to me during halftime. They helped me realize being angry won’t hurt anyone but me and if we even wanted a chance to score let alone win I as captain needed to keep a level head. At the end of the game, we lost 1-10. My teammates and I laughed about how badly we lost, yet still won the second half. Seeing all of them happy even after a horrible loss reminded me of my love of the game and why I played in the first place. To have a brotherhood of people with me doing what we all love.
Even though a humbling experience turned great, what should’ve been great became one of the worst. In our season opener senior year we faced a team who was not up to our level which is something that you have to accept on both sides of the scoreline. We got the score to 9-0 before our coach told us to stop scoring. So we listened, we would get right in front of the goal then turn around. But our coach was even more displeased with that. He wanted us to miss shots and look like we were trying. He said we’ve been on the 0-10 scoreline and wouldn’t want to do that to someone else. The next game we went to their home field and it looked like their school didn’t even care, it was run down, they were on grass, we were on turf, and their posts were slanted. Going to their home field made me think were we better than them or did we just have better resources? Like in real life, students aren’t dumb, they just have less access to resources. This realization dampened the mood, but what was worse is I was reminded that we were going into my last district season, and wouldn’t be able to play with my brothers anymore.
After graduating every day I miss the sport and my brothers. Being with my brothers made me realize there’s more to life than the superficial. Whether it be the superficial goals you are looking at that prevents you from doing your best. Or the superficial benefits you have that block you from seeing your privilege.