Ugly is a good word to describe growing up as an LGBTQ+ individual. The underrepresentation of my identity inspired me to double major in Screenwriting Arts and English and Creative Writing at the University of Iowa in order to embrace and correctly portray this ugliness. I have yet to find work that I truly connect with. As an individual struggling with my sexual and gender identity, the feeling of not knowing who you are could be alleviated by seeing someone like you on television or in a book. Nowadays, just about every Hollywood executive requires there to be a beautiful token gay character in every show and movie. They then parade that character in every advertisement and call it Representation! In reality, figuring out who you are as an LGBTQ+ person is ugly. It is a nasty journey and an uncomfortable trek. Despite this, that struggle is so simply portrayed by a beautiful, healthy, white, seemingly straight (as too not plague their movie with too much gayness), gender-conforming character who is so comfortable with their identity they are not afraid to shout who they are from the highest rooftop, and every other character embraces them with open arms. This “representation” then becomes worse than no representation. It is this blatant misportrayal of a difficult, ugly journey that inspired me to want to make a change in a clueless industry. Since beginning my first semester at the University of Iowa, I’ve learned a lot about how to pursue this goal of making a significant difference in media. I was initially only interested in writing for TV shows and books. I have now come to realize how effective other forms of media–alongside those two–can be. Iowa has also improved my writing skills dramatically in the short time I have been a student so far. The resources and connections provided are overwhelming. There is a speaker, reader, alum, etc. that provides insight into the varying media industries on campus almost every day. Simply put, my studies have dramatically expanded my ambitions. I’ve realized how much more I can do with arts and media than I initially thought.

The most inspiring book I’ve read is “Educated” by Tara Westover. Westover’s memoir tells a story of a lifestyle unlike any I’ve ever heard before. Westover’s themes of escape and alienation are represented through her harsh familial life, unforgiving environment, along with her retreat to higher education after never having received formal schooling. One of the most inspiring moments from the novel was when Westover decided she wanted to take the ACT. Westover had never heard of concepts like Algebra and Biology, so she had to teach herself these concepts against her father’s demands. Her father was the main reason she didn’t receive any education. She lived most of her life underneath this superstitious father who thought everything he didn’t understand was a government conspiracy against God. After relentlessly studying for the ACT, she ended up getting a 22. When I read the novel, I was scheduled to take it for the first time in a few months. My belief was “if this chick can get a 22, then it should be effortless for me to”. I ended up getting a 23. Although it was still higher than her score, it was scary how close our scores were. The fact that she could do so well with only a few months of looking at old textbooks for the first time inspired me to take it again, but this time I would do much better. After significantly more studying, I ended up getting a 27 my second time. I was so proud of myself and I believe Westover’s perseverance is partly responsible for my success. As of writing this, I plan on taking the ACT one more time and I am hoping for at least a 29.

The best way to live a long, healthy life is to simply enjoy the moment. In a competition setting, it can often be easy to worry about how your competitors are doing as opposed to worrying about yourself. Oftentimes after a competition--in whatever format it may be--it is important to ask yourself, “was that the best I could do?” Enjoying the moment may also be attending an event. If you watch any video of a concert that took place before around 2010, look in the comment section. You will find numerous sarcastic comments saying “not a phone in sight, just people enjoying the moment”. Although these hypocritical comments are often petty and immature, they’re not necessarily wrong. Yes, you want to remember the moment, but do you think everyone on your Snapchat story wants to? It can be refreshing to look outwards, take a deep breath, and simply embrace the moment. Enjoying life isn’t worrying about your past mistakes or how you won’t be where you want to be in ten years from now. Are you happy in the current moment?

Patience is the key to learning. Whether you’re the student or the teacher, whether you’re moving at 10 miles an hour or 100 miles an hour, or whether you’re working with a stranger or your lifelong friend, patience is a virtue. Expecting to get anywhere, achieve a goal, or make any progress without patience is simply impossible. But patience is like a rubber band. It can only hold things together as long as it’s not stretched too thin. Once the rubber band reaches that point where it exceeds its limit, it snaps. No, patience is not necessary to get far in the world. If you expect the world to conform to you and work around you, then go ahead and throw patience out of the window. It would be a waste of time anyway. But if you’re realistic and willing to cooperate with the world. It would be nearly impossible to work without patience. Yes, good things do come to those who wait, but I would say good things come to those who are willing to cooperate.

My personal favorite work of art is in the form of music. The album “Attention Attention” by Shinedown embodies the spirit of Struggle. Primarily written by Shinedown bassist, Eric Bass, the journey begins with the listener acknowledging Struggle. “The Entrance” and “Devil”, the intro tracks, provide the bones for the listener. They set the tone and introduce the idea that whatever path we are about to take isn’t going to be easy; they are going to hurt and we are absolutely coming out beaten and bruised. The listener is quickly thrown into the fray with tracks like “Black Soul”, “Attention Attention”, and “Kill Your Conscience”. These tracks are the listener’s call to action. We’ve already figured out what is wrong, now we figure out what got us to this state in the first place and how we’re going to fix it. One of my personal favorite tracks, “Monsters”, seems to introduce our main antagonist, Struggle. It creates setbacks and embodies the listener’s realization that this is harder than they had anticipated and thoughts of regret and turning back creep in. “Darkside” is like the listener’s call to the world that they are doing their best to get better and “Creatures” is as if they’re saying to the world “you’re not perfect either!” “Get Up” is a lot peppier and jovial than the prior tracks. This is like the point of celebration, that the listener has conquered Struggle. I believe this track also marks a major turning point in the album. “Special” is another beautiful track. Although you overcame Struggle, “you’re not special”; many people didn’t have to overcome this Struggle because they never caused it in the first place. Regardless, this achievement, depicted by “Brilliant”, makes you who you are: a weathered, yet stronger version of yourself.